F.    B.BAN 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


COL  JlIDSON  OF  AUBflMS: 

OR, 

A  SOUTHERNER'S  EXPERIENCE     . 
AT  THE  NORTH. 

7/f 


BY 

F.  BEAN, 

AUTHOR  OF    "  PUDNEY   &   WALP.* 


UNITED  STATES  BOOK  COMPANY, 

SUCCESSORS  TO 

JOHN  W.  LOVELL  COMPANY, 
150  WORTH  STREET,  CORNER  MISSION  PLACE, 

NEW  YORK. 


COPYRIGHTED,  1893, 

BY 
UNITED  STATES  BOOK  COMPANY. 


All  Rights  Reserved, 


CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  I.  PAGE 

A  Wicked  Advertisement, 5 

CHAPTER  II. 

The  Colonel  makes  the  Acquaintance  of  a  Yankee  School 
master—A  Superfluous  Chapter, 24 

CHAPTER  III. 
Miss  Tillie  Courts  the  Colonel, 37 

CHAPTER  IV. 
The  Gipps  Family  Resolve  to  know  the  Colonel's  Secrets,      48 

CHAPTER  V. 
The  Gipps  Family  at  Fire  Island, .        .       .       ..'.-.       .59 

CHAPTER  VI. 
The  Adventures  and  Misadventures  of  the  Gipps  Family 

in  the  Catskills, .82 

CHAPTER  VII. 

The  Colonel  and  the  Boarders  at  Van  Tassel's,  .        .        .    121 
CHAPTER  VIII. 

The  End  of  a  Grand  Speculation, 154 

CHAPTER  IX. 

The  Boaders  Keep  Trampling  on  the  Colonel's  Political 

Corns .164 

CHAPTER  X. 

In  Love  with  a  Southern  Girl, 174 

CHAPTER  XI. 
The  Colonel  Objects  to  a  Republican  Son-in-law,      .        .    180 

CHAPTER  XII. 
Miss  Eva  Marries  a  Mugwump,     .        .        .        .       .       •    192 

550165 


COL.  JTJDSON  OF  ALABAMA; 


OR, 


A  Southerner's  Experience  at  the  North. 


CHAPTER  I. 

A  WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT. 

ANTED— By  a    Gentleman,    a   large,  handsomely  fur 
nished,   well-ventilated    room    where  people   are   not 
inquisitive.    Address  A.  B.  C.,  Herald  Uptown  Office. 

ONE  hand  held  the  advertising-sheet  of  the  New 
York  Herald,  that  unveiled  mirror  of  the  ways,  the 
actions,  the  weaknesses,  and  the  wickedness  of  man; 
the  other  grasped  a  large  silver  fork. 

On  the  table  were  the  ample  viands  of  a  bountiful 
breakfast,  and,  close  at  hand,  one  of  the  attentive 
waiters  of  a  first-class  New  York  hotel. 

The  stranger  read  the  advertisement  with  absorbed 
interest  twice  through,  then  laid  the  sheet  aside  and 
concentrated  his  attention  upon  his  breakfast  with  a 
gratified  sense  of  relief.  He  could  now  see  his  way 
out  of  his  perplexity.  This  advertisement,  which  his 
eye  had  accidentally  fallen  upon  while  waiting  for  his 
order  to  be  filled,  had,  in  one  moment,  enlightened  him 
as  to  the  customs  here  at  the  North. 

He  would  put  an  advertisement  precisely  like  that 
in  the  Herald  himself,  as  soon  as  he  left  the  table. 


6  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

But,  he  meditated  as  he  buttered  his  muffins,  what 
a  commentary  it  was,  though,  upon  the  inquisitive- 
ness  of  the  Yankees,  when  people  were  obliged  to  ad 
vertise  like  this !  What  a  state  of  society !  What  an 
insult  the  Southern  people  would  feel  implied  in  such 
language !  But  here  at  the  North  what  else  was  a 
man  with  an  important  secret  to  do  ?  He  shrank  from 
writing  the  unpleasant  words;  but  of  course  the  peo 
ple  here  must  be  used  to  it. 

As  soon  as  his  breakfast  was  over,  he  rose  from  his 
chair,  a  giant  in  stature,  the  Herald  still  grasped  in 
his  hand.  He  was  a  colossus,  broad-shouldered,  full- 
chested,  with  a  fine,  open,  intellectual  face,  a  well- 
shaped  head  covered  with  dark,  thick,  glossy  hair 
slightly  inclined  to  curl,  and  here  and  there  besprinkled 
with  gray — a  head  poised  with  quiet,  imperial  pride, 
while  his  eye  and  mien  denoted  one  accustomed  to 
power,  authority,  and  deference ;  and  wherever  he  went 
he  accepted  the  homage  of  the  people  around  him  as 
his  heritage,  for  he  was  Colonel  Judson  of  Alabama. 

Before  the  war  he  had  been  in  the  Legislature  of  his 
State,  and  had  always  been  a  leading  man  in  local 
politics.  There  had  been  a  time  when  he  could  ride 
five  miles  on  his  own  land;  and  with  his  gold-headed 
cane  across  his  saddle-bow  he  was  everywhere  de 
ferred  to  by  whites  and  blacks  and  addresed  as  "  Colo 
nel  "  far  and  wide,  though  his  title  was  derived  solely 
from  his  splendid  physique,  his  aristocratic  bearing, 
and  his  magnificent  possessions. 

Like  the  rest  of  the  Southern  patricians,  the  Judsons 
were  ruined  by  the  war;  but  poverty  could  not  abase 
them,  privation  could  not  humble  them.  Hiding  their 
sorrows  from  the  world,  they  lived  in  seclusion,  main 
taining  always  their  opinions,  their  prejudices,  their 
self-respect,  and  their  dignity;  and  the  colonel  re- 


A   WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT.  7 

mained,  as  he  had  ever  been,  one  of  those  Southern 
combinations  of  pride  and  generosity,  haughtiness  and 
graciousness,  fire  and  mildness — a  man  versed  in  all 
the  graces  of  society,  yet  simple  and  ignorant  of  the 
common  affairs  of  life,  recognizing  no  world  beyond 
the  South,  full  of  magnanimous  pity  for  an  admired 
acquaintance  who  had  had  the  misfortune  to  be  born 
elsewhere,  and  scarcely  able  to  believe  the  sun  and 
moon  shone  over  the  bleak  hills  of  the  North  as  over 
the  rich  fields  of  the  South. 

He  was  here  now  from  necessity;  and  with  his  usual 
magnanimit3r,  he  looked  about  him  with  generous  com 
passion  upon  the  unfortunate  inhabitants  among  whom 
he  felt  himself  a  man  apart,  almost  a  foreigner,  by 
reason  of  every  difference  that  can  exist  between  man 
and  man — a  difference  emphasized  now  by  his  present 
peculiar  position.  For  a  generation  or  more  it  had 
been  traditional  in  his  family  that  they  possessed  an 
unclaimed  property  interest  in  the  city  of  New  York 
involving  several  entire  blocks  of  houses  in  the  most 
populous  part  of  the  city,  and  which,  in  their  halcyon 
days,  either  indolence  or  innate  family  pride  had  pre 
vented  their  following  up.  But  the  daily  discomforts 
of  their  present  condition  becoming  more  and  more 
intolerable,  the  colonel  at  last  had  come  North  to  es 
tablish  his  own  and  his  family's  rights  and,  if  possible, 
retrieve  his  broken  fortunes,  placing  his  affairs  in  the 
hands  of  a  prominent  law  firm ;  and  it  appeared  to  be 
necessary  that,  for  the  present  at  least,  he  should  re 
main  here  strictly  incognito— -a  course  to  him  annoy 
ing  and  degrading,  he  was  so  open,  so  candid,  and  so 
scornful  of  everything  mysterious,  suspicious,  and 
equivocal. 

Thus  it  was  he  felt  a  perfect  nightmare  of  secrets 
resting  on  his  soul;  and  while  considering  the  situa- 


8  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

tion  at  the  breakfast  table  the  next  morning,  his  eye 
fell  on  that  wicked  advertisement. 

But  his  mind  once  made  up,  he  finished  the  meal  with 
absolute  peace,  then  went  to  his  room,  slavishly  copied 
out  the  wicked  advertisement,  only  substituting  differ 
ent  initials,  and  took  it  himself  to  the  Herald  office. 

It  was  already  nearly  midsummer,  and  the  patrons 
of  furnished  rooms  having  nearly  all  gone  to  the  coun 
try,  heartlessly  leaving  their  landladies  to  pay  their 
rent  the  best  way  they  could,  these  wretched  people 
were  too  desperate  to  be  o'er-particular,  in  hot  weather, 
as  to  how  they  made  ends  meet,  and  the  colonel  next 
day  found  himself  offered  his  choice  of  "  large  rooms/' 
"airy  rooms,"  "rooms  with  hot  and  cold  water," 
"  rooms  with  southern  exposure,"  which  were  univer 
sally  guaranteed  to  be  "  in  a  first-class  neighborhood," 
with  "  all  conveniences  "  and  "  every  comfort  assured." 
And  it  was  noteworthy  that  a  large  number  neither 
asked  nor  offered  references;  but,  on  the  contrary,  he 
was  assured  that  his  would-be  landlady  would  not  be 
inquisitive,  and  was  variously  promised  "perfect  inde 
pendence  "  and  "  absolute  freedom." 

Omnia  bona  bonis.  The  colonel,  in  his  majestic  sim 
plicity,  perceiving  no  evil  in  any  of  these  communica 
tions,  started  forth  on  a  tour  of  inspection,  and  at 
about  half-past  five  o'clock  in  the  afternoon  finally 
engaged  what  he  believed  to  be  a  very  comfortably 
furnished  room  on  the  second  floor  of  a  neat  brown- 
stone  house  occupied  by  one  Mrs.  Gipps,  widow  woman, 
and  her  daughter,  Miss  Matilda;  and  after  having, 
as  he  flattered  himself,  thoroughly  inspected  the  prem 
ises  he  entered  into  possession  that  self-same  night. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  assisted  by  Miss  Gipps,  whom  he  had 
not  yet  met,  welcomed  him  at  the  front  door,  Mrs. 
Gipps  struggling  to  look  uninquisitive,  and  Miss  Gipps 


A   WICKED  ADVERTISEMENT.  9 

doing  her  best  to  look  youthful  and  unsophisticated, 
while  the  elder  lady  sympathetically  expressed  the  hope 
that  he  would  like  his  room  and  that  he  would  find 
everything-  in  order. 

Early  the  next  morning,  these  two  models  of  uniei- 
quisitive  landladies,  while  busy  at  work  and  even  more 
busy  at  discussing  their  lodger,  heard  a  sound  for 
which  they  had  been  intently  listening  all  the  morning, 
and  for  which  all  their  senses  were  keenly  on  the  alert. 

The  front  door  closed. 

They  were  both  of  them,  at  that  momentous  junc 
ture,  in  the  basement  kitchen,  where  they  had  been 
engaged  the  past  half-hour  in  the  honest  employment 
of  taking  in  the  morning's  milk  and  the  rolls  for  their 
frugal  breakfast  and  in  making  their  coffee  over  a  gas 
stove. 

Rushing  in  breathless  haste  to  the  window,  and 
peeping  forth  from  behind  the  blinds,  their  eager,  non- 
inquisitive  eyes  beheld  their  stalwart  lodger,  his  se 
crets,  his  very  name,  locked  within  his  breast,  walking 
rapidly  toward  Sixth  Avenue — mayhap  in  quest  of  a 
breakfast.  This  long-expected ,  long-watched-f or  event 
they  would  have  awaited  in  the  parlor  where  they 
might  have  heard  the  very  first  foot-fall  in  the  room 
above,  but  that  the  cool  and  appropriate  attire  de 
manded  by  the  rude  labors  of  a  sultry  morning — de 
lightfully  comfortable,  loose,  brown  gingham  sacks 
and  nether  garments  of  striped  seersucker  not  designed 
by  the  manufacturer  for  a  lady's  outward  vesture — 
scarcely  enhanced  the  beauty  of  the  younger  lady  or 
sustained  the  dignity  of  the  elder;  but  their  lodger 
having  passed  beyond  their  gaze,  they  hastened  up  the 
stairs  with  all  the  expedition  possible,  in  their  large, 
comfortable  slippers  that  threatened  to  drop  off  at 
every  step,  and  repaired  forthwith  to  his  sleeping-room. 


10  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  He  hasn't  unpacked,  that's  sure ! "  cried  Miss  Gipps, 
rushing  to  the  bureau  and  pulling  out  first  one  empty 
drawer  and  then  another. 

"  And  his  trunk  is  locked ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  "  and 
it's  full  yet,"  she  added,  trying-  to  raise  one  end. 

"  There's  nothing  in  the  pantry  either,  only  a  coat 
and  a  dressing-gown ! "  wailed  Miss  Gipps. 

"  And  where's  his  night-shirt  ? "  shrieked  Mrs.  Gipps, 
staring  in  dismay  at  the  bed. 

"  He  must  have  locked  that  up,  too ! "  screamed  Miss 
Gipps. 

"  Now,  you  see,  it  is  just  as  I  said ;  that  wa'n't  his 
name,  and  he  daren't  unpack,  for  the  marks  on  his 
clo'es ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps  in  tones  of  deep  conviction. 
"His  name's  no  more  Colonel  Flushing  than  mine 
is!" 

"  Here's  a  book ! "  cried  Miss  Gipps,  taking  up  a  vol 
ume  that  had  served  the  colonel  for  a  writing-desk, 
when  to  their  great  delight  what  should  fall  out  but  a 
letter  that  he  had  written  the  night  before ! 

"  Read  it! "  screamed  the  mother;  and  the  daughter, 
obeying  her  parent's  virtuous  demand  with  alacrity 
had  deciphered  enough  to  learn  that  it  was  addressed 
to  "  My  dear  Cornelia,"  that  there  was  some  mention 
of  "  my  lawyers,"  and  still  more  of  "  my  landladies," 
the  younger  of  whom  he  described  as  "  a  young  lady 
of  cold  manners,  possessing  the  usual  Northern  traits 
of  frigid,  passionless  beauty,"  and  that  he  was  resolute 
in  defeating  Yankee  inquisitiveness,  when  she  paused 
excitedly  to  discuss  the  fragments  she  had  puzzled  out. 

"He  expresses  himself  elegantly,  I'll  say  that  for 
him — 'she  possesses  all  the  usual  Northern  traits  of 
frigid,  passionless  beauty ! '  Yes,  that's  just  me,  right 
out !  Well,  everybody  says  men  are  always  attracted 
by  their  opposites ;  and  I'm  sure  he's  a  perfect  type  of 


A   WICKED   ADVEKTISEMENT.  11 

a  Southerner,  so  dark  and  languishing-.  I  judge  he 
could  love  desperately  ." 

"  Well,  he's  right  up  and  down  positive  about  not 
letting  anybody  ask  questions;  so  what  we  find  out 
we've  got  to  find  out  without  asking  him,  or  he'll  be 
leaving,"  interjected  the  mother. 

"  He  must  be  rich,"  murmured  Miss  Gipps,  from  over 
the  letter.  "  You  see  he's  got  lawyers,  and  he  says," 
she  screamed,  " '  I  gave  the  name  of  Colonel  Flushing 
— my  maiden  name,  you  know.' " 

A  ring  at  the  door-bell  interrupted  further  perusal 
of  the  letter,  which  Miss  Gipps  hurriedly  replaced  in 
the  book  as- she  had  found  it;  and  with  her  old  shoes 
loudly  clacking  at  her  heels,  the  frigid,  passionless 
Northern  beauty  fled  to  her  room,  while  Mrs.  Gipps 
hastily  slipped  into  a  dress  and  went  to  the  door. 

It  was,  as  she  had  divined,  the  colonel,  who  had  just 
bought  some  envelopes  and  missed  his  letter. 

"  Ah,  good  morning,  madam,"  he  cried,  shaking  her 
hand  with  cordiality.  "  I  regret  having  been  obliged 
to  ring  the  bell.  I  trust  you  will  pardon  my  negli 
gence  in  not  asking  you  for  a  latch-key." 

"  Oh,  you  are  very  excusable  indeed,"  replied  Mrs. 
Gipps,  graciously.  "  I'll  get  you  a  key  as  soon  as  ever 
I  can.  Tillie!  Tillie!"  she  called  up  the  stairs,  with  a 
great  affectation  of  parental  fondness,  "  where  is  there 
a  key  for  the  colonel  ?  I'll  get  you  one  by  the  time 
you  come  in  again,  Colonel.  I  expect  Tillie  ain't  up 
yet.  You  know  young  people  sleep  so  late ! " 

The  colonel  thanked  her  and  hurried  up-stairs  for 
the  letter.  He  had  great  hopes  that  it  had  not  been 
found;  for  Miss  Tillie,  it  appeared,  was  not  yet  up,  and 
Mrs.  Gipps  had  only  too  plainly  not  quite  finished  her 
toilet  when  she  opened  the  door.  He  found  his  room 
exactly  as  he  had  left  it;  the  letter  was  in  the  book,  and 


12  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

he  thankfully  concluded  that  it  had  not  been  dis 
covered. 

He  placed  it  in  his  pocket  and  again  passed  out  with 
out  encountering  any  one,  Mrs.  Gipps,  being-  afraid  he 
would  discover  their  examination  of  his  letter,  having 
taken  refuge  in  the  kitchen ;  and  Miss  Tillie,  conscious 
that  her  frigid,  passionless  Northern  beauty  was  ill 
set  off  by  a  seersucker  petticoat  and  clacking  shoes, 
being  still  in  her  room  peeping  down  the  passage-way 
for  a  glimpse  of  her  handsome  admirer. 

The  colonel  departing,  the  young  lady  came  forth 
and  joined  her  mother  in  the  kitchen,  where,  with  much 
animated  and  diverting  conversation  concerning  the 
lodger  and  his  secrets,  and  many  passionate  regrets 
that  they  had  not  been  more  expeditious  about  read 
ing  the  letter,  they  ate  their  breakfast;  after  which 
Miss  Tillie  left  her  mother  to  finish  up  the  work,  say 
ing,  "You  know  it's  more  important  for  me  to  be 
dressed  than  you/'  and  went  and  exchanged  the  seer 
sucker  petticoat  for  a  white  cambric  dress  and  blue 
ribbons,  and  seated  herself  by  the  parlor  window  to 
watch  for  the  colonel's  return. 

The  bell  rang  about  half-past  one  o'clock,  just  as 
Miss  Gipps  had  gone  down  into  the  basement  for  her 
dinner,  but  with  beating  heart  she  flew  back  to  open 
the  door.  The  colonel  nearly  failed  to  recognize  her. 

"  Ah !  I  beg  your  pardon !    Miss  Gipps,  I  believe  ?  " 

"Miss  Tillie,  sir,"  amended  the  young  lady,  smiling 
with  3routhful  archness,  and  displaying  two  rows  of  ex 
tremely  beautiful  teeth — teeth  that  had  a  secret  history 
of  which  she  knew  the  colonel  little  dreamed. 

"Ah!  I  beg  your  pardon,  madam.  How  are  you 
this  morning  ?  It  is  a  very  hot  day,"  and  the  colonel 
grasped  her  hand  and  pressed  it  with  all  the  ardor 
habitual  to  him  in  all  his  greetings  with  white  men 


A   WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT.  13 

and  women,  but  which  the  young  lady  accepted  as  an 
other  token  of  his  admiration. 

She  replied  to  his  observation  about  the  weather, 
that  indeed  it  was  an  awful  hot  day,  adding  with  deep 
solicitude : 

"  Ma  and  me,  Colonel,  have  been  worrying1  ourselves 
almost  to  death  for  fear  you  might  get  sunstruck." 

"  Oh,  no  fear  of  that,"  replied  the  colonel,  and  then 
once  more  apologizing  for  ringing  the  bell,  he  again 
begged  the  favor  of  a  latch-key. 

"  Why !  hasn't  ma  given  you  a  latch-key  yet  ?  Well, 
I  declare !  I'll  see  you  get  one  right  away." 

By  this  time  the  colonel  was  half-way  up-stairs,  and 
Miss  Gipps,  foregoing  her  dinner  in  her  fear  that  he 
might  escape  while  she  was  in  the  kitchen,  seated  her 
self  in  the  parlor  before  the  door.  As  he  reappeared, 
she  intercepted  him  in  the  hall,  and,  having  no  other 
reason  or  excuse  for  addressing  him,  said : 

"  I've  just  ast  ma  for  a  latch-key,  and  she's  going 
to  order  one  for  you  right  away." 

"  Thanks !  thanks ! "  returned  the  colonel,  hastening 
away. 

"  Have  you  long  to  stay  out  ?  "  anxiously  pursued 
Miss  Gipps.  "  It's  so  dreadful  hot  you  hadn't  better. 
I'm  afraid  you'll  get  sunstruck,  indeed  I  am ! " 

"  Oh,  never  fear !  I  was  born  in  a  hotter  climate  than 
this." 

"  Oh,  you  don't  know,"  solemnly  replied  Miss  Gipps. 
"  I  knew  a  Southern  gentleman  once.  He  came  North 
in  summer  time  just  like  you  have,  and  he  was  sun- 
struck;  and  all  because  he  thought  he  couldn't  be." 

"Ah!  indeed!" 

"Yes,  it's  a  fact!  I  knew  that  gentleman  myself. 
You'd  better  put  up  your  umbrella." 

"Thank  you!  -thank  you!  I  shall.  Good  morning, 
madam." 


14  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

The  colonel  speedily  vanished ;  and  Miss  Gipps  went 
exhilarated  and  elated  down  into  the  kitchen  to  pur 
sue  her  interrupted  dinner. 

"  Say ! "  was  her  first  exclamation  to  her  mother, 
"  he's  ast  for  a  latch-key ;  but  I  don't  want  you  to  give 
him  any.  I  want  to  let  him  in  myself." 

"  Mebbe  he'll  get  one  made/'  suggested  Mrs.  Gipps. 

"Let  him;  and  then  I'll  lock  the  door,"  calmly  re 
turned  the  young  lady.  "  I  guess  my  head's  level.  I 
wish  he  wouldn't  call  me  '  madam/  It  makes  me  seem 
so  old.  I  wonder  if  Southerners  always  call  young 
ladies  '  madam.'  It's  horrid ! " 

"  What  was  you  talking  about  so  Ipng  ?  " 

"  Dear  knows ! "  replied  the  daughter,  with  an  os 
tentatious  pretence  of  reticence.  "  I  could  hardly  get 
away  from  him.  He's  very  chatty.  Told  me  how  the 
heat  affected  him,  and  talked  for  a  while  about  the  cli 
mate  he  was  born  in,  down  South.  Then  next  we  got 
on  to  the  subject  of  being  sunstruck;  and  so  it  went 
on  from  one  thing  to  another,  till  I  thought  he  never 
would  stop.  I  never  had  anybody  take  so  much  no 
tice  of  me  on  such  short  acquaintance  before  in  my 
life!  Goodness!  how  he  did  squeeze  my  hand!  And 
wouldn't  let  go  of  it,  either,  till  I  know  my  cheeks 
must  'a'  been  crimson.  I  cautioned  him  to  put  up  his 
umbrella  to  keep  the  sun  off,  and  he  seemed  real  pleased 
at  me  thinking  of  it.  But  I  don't  see  what  he  could 
be  going  out  for  again  ?"  she  added,  with  a  troubled, 
far-off  look.  "He  changed  his  coat,  and  just  as  he 
was  going  he  took  out  a  pocket-handkerchief,  and  I 
thought  I  saw  a  name  on  it.  There!  why  didn't  I 
think  to  go  up  to  his  room  and  see  if  he  left  anything 
in  the  pockets  of  the  coat  he  took  off !  " 

Without  further  delay,  Miss  Gipps  left  the  table 
and  hastened  to  make  amends  for  this  strange  re- 


A   WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT.  15 

missness  on  her  part,  exclaiming  excitedly  on  her 
return : 

"  Well !  I've  made  one  big  discovery.  There  wasn't 
anything  in  any  of  his  pockets  but  a  package  of 
stamped  envelopes,  a  pair  of  cotton  gloves,  and  yester 
day's  Herald.  But  I  found  out  something  for  all!  I 
thought  I  would  just  stop  and  look  over  the  Herald 
a  minute.  I  wanted  to  see  the  matrimonial  advertise 
ments;  and  I  found  two  marked !  See  there!  He  must 
have  marked  'em  to  answer;  so  now  you  see  that ' dear 
Cornelia '  must  be  a  sister  or  some  relation  or  other." 
And  Miss  Tillie  displayed  the  paper  which  the  colonel 
had  picked  up  somewhere  already  adorned  with  the 
pencil  marks  aforesaid. 

"  This  is  yesterday's  Herald"  she  added.  "  He  must 
have  marked  these  advertisements  before  he  came 
here.  So  I  needn't  care.  I  don't  believe  he'll  foller 
'ern  up  now.  But  I  don't  see  what  he  could  be  going 
out  for  again  in  the  heat,"  she  added  anxiously.  "  It 
doesn't  seem  possible  he  could  be  going  to  see  any 
other  person  after  talking  to  me  so  pleasantly." 

"  You  put  too  much  dependence  in  him,"  said  the 
mother,  emphatically.  "He's  a  man,  and  this  is  New 
York  City!" 

"Yes,"  responded  Miss  Tillie,  "but  I  guess  my 
chances  are  as  good  as  anybody's!" 

"  I  wonder,"  murmured  the  mother,  like  one  thinking 
aloud,  "if  he  would  miss  one  of  those  envelopes;  I 
am  going  to  write  to  that  Dickel  that  used  to  have  a 
room  here  and  ask  him  to  drop  in  some  evening." 

"What  for?"  cried  the  daughter  in  astonish 
ment. 

"  I  was  thinking  Dickel  would  go  to  talking  with 
the  colonel  about  the  South— he  was  there  so  long; 
and  mebbe  the  colonel  would  get  to  talking,  and  we 


16  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

could  find  out  more  about  him — and  you  know  how 
awful  inquisitive  Dickel  is!" 

"I  didn't  think  of  that!"  cried  Miss  Tillie,  joyfully. 

Several  days  passed,  and.  no  new  discoveries  had 
been  made,  when  the  Gipps  family  received  a  visit 
from  a  stranger  who  gave  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie 
some  new  data  with  which  to  carry  on  their  specula 
tive  conversations  regarding  the  colonel's  private 
affairs. 

The  visitor  was  a  tall,  spare  man,  in  a  straw  hat,  a 
blue  neck-tie  with  white  dots,  an  alpaca  coat,  and 
dark-blue  baggy  trousers  somewhat  faded.  He  had 
a  pale,  bloodless  face,  covered  with  patches  of  dark- 
brown  freckles,  and  a  sparse,  straggling  red  beard  on 
his  cheeks  and  chin;  his  hands  were  large,  bony,  and 
freckled;  and  his  large  open  eyes  and  contracted  lips 
gave  promise  of  seeking  more  information  than  he  im 
parted. 

Poor  Mrs.  Gipps  immediately  took  the  man  for  a 
detective;  and  there  certainly  was  something  pene 
trating  and  inquisitorial  in  the  stranger's  gaze  as  he 
fastened  his  cold,  gray  eyes  upon  her  frightened  vis 
age,  and  inquired  if  there  was  a  Southern  gentleman 
stopping  there.  Then  he  called  himself  "  we,"  as  if  he 
alluded  to  the  detective  agency  to  which  he  belonged, 
and  said  such  a  person  had  been  "  traced  "  there. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  in  great  alarm,  declined  to  answer  the 
question  till  she  had  called  her  daughter  in  consul 
tation.  She  would  only  say  she  had  lodgers,  of  course 
— she  always  had  lodgers — that  was  the  way  she  got 
her  living;  but,  as  to  whether  there  was  anybody  in 
the  house  that  hailed  from  the  South,  she  couldn't 
think  just  that  momenb — she  would  speak  to  her 
daughter. 

Miss  Gipps  swept  into  the  room,  with  her  superior 


A   WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT.  17 

intellect,  her  modern  ideas,  and  her  youthful  spirits, 
and  arrogantly  demanded  the  visitor's  reasons  and 
motives  for  seeking  this  information.  Suppose  there 
was  a  Southern  gentleman  staying  there,  what  then  ? 
Did  the  visitor  know  him,  and  what  did  he  want  of  him, 
what  was  his  name,  his  business,  and  what  did  he  know 
about  him  ? 

The  supposed  detective  declined  to  impart  any  in 
formation;  he  only  wanted  to  know  if  a  Southern  gen 
tleman  was  staying  there. 

Miss  Tillie  declined  to  say,  and  the  supposed  detec 
tive  then  proposed  a  compromise.  If  he  could  be  per 
mitted  to  look  at  the  gentleman's  baggage,  he  would, 
perhaps,  arrive  at  the  information  desired;  in  which 
case,  if  it  was  the  right  party,  he  would  let  them  know 
who  and  what  he  was. 

This  proposition  plunged  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie 
into  a  complicated  train  of  thought.  If  the  colonel 
was  wanted  by  the  authorities,  they  would  lose  their 
lodger,  but  they  would  know  his  secrets. 

They  retired  for  private  consultation,  the  result  of 
which  was  they  found  that  it  was  quite  impossible  to 
resist  the  temptation,  come  what  might,  of  finding  out 
something,  and  they  resolved  to  show  the  man  into 
the  colonel's  room. 

Miss  Gipps  was  standing  by  the  mantel-piece,  near 
the  colonel's  trunk,  watching  with  vigilant  eyes  for 
every  change  in  the  stranger's  countenance  as  he  en 
tered  the  room,  looked  at  the  trunk  with  a  professional 
eye,  and  then  knelt  clown  before  it  to  examine  the  lock. 

"  What's  this  ?  I  hear  clockwork  inside,"  he  ex 
claimed. 

"Clockwork!"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  in 
alarm. 

"Who   were  this  man's    referees?"    abruptly  de- 

2 


18  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

manded  the  crafty  stranger,  gazing1  into  the  stricken 
faces  of  the  Gippses  with  an  air  of  grave  suspicion. 

"  His — his  referees! "  stammered  Mrs.  Gipps,  in  deep 
embarrassment.  "  Why — would  you  think  I  ought  to 
ast  for  reference?  He  advertised  for  a  room  and — 
and  he  was  such  a  perfect  gentleman,  and  a  Southerner, 
too " 

"  Now,  ma,"  quickly  interrupted  Miss  Tillie,  "  you 
don't  know  whether  he's  a  Southerner  or  not;  he  never 
said  he  was." 

"  I  never  said  he  was  a  Southerner,"  screamed  Mrs. 
Gipps,  in  confusion.  "  I  said  I  didn't  ask  for  references, 
though  perhaps  I  ought  to,  but  I  guess  I  forgot  it, 
unless  you  ast,  Tillie;  did  you?" 

"I  don't  recollect,"  haughtily  retorted  Miss  Tillie. 
"  If  I  did,  I  don't  remember  now  who  he  referred  to; 
and,  besides,  it's  nobody's  business  but  ours." 

"  Well,  my  God ! "  exclaimed  the  man,  with  an  affec 
tation  of  astonishment  and  excitement  that  nearly 
frightened  Mrs.  Gipps  into  surrendering  her  lodger 
into  his  hands,  "  how  do  you  know  but  he's  a  dyna 
miter  ?  Good  God !  don't  you  know  about  that  fel 
low  Thomasson,  who  had  clockwork  like  this  in  his 
trunk  to  blow  up  a  steamer  with  dynamite?  This 
man  might  be  a  Russian  nihilist  or  an  Irish  conspira 
tor  or  a  German  socialist.  Can  you  unlock  this  trunk 
in  any  way  ?  Or  if  you  haven't  any  way  to  do  it,  sup 
pose  you  let  me  try  a  bunch  of  keys  I  have  here  ?" 

"I — I  don't  know  what  to  say,"  stammered  Mrs. 
Gipps;  "  I  suppose  I  could  send  out  and  get  some  keys 
or  you  might  try  what  you've  got." 

"I  shouldn't  advise  you  to  undertake  any  such 
thing!"  quickly  interrupted  Miss  Tillie.  "Dynamiter 
or  no,  we  don't  want  to  get  into  State  prison  unlocking 
other  folkses'  trunks,"  she  added,  thinking  within  her- 


A   WICKED   ADVERTISEMENT.  19 

self,  however,  that  it  was  an  idea  they  might  act  upon 
in  private.  "  What  good  would  it  do  the  man  to  blow 
up  our  house,  I'd  like  to  know?"  she  continued,  turn 
ing  fiercely  upon  the  stranger.  "  He'd  set  all  his  own 
clo'es  afire  and  might  be  killed  himself." 

The  stranger,  who  had  no  idea  that  the  ticking  ma 
chinery  came  from  anything  more  murderous  than  a 
little  clock,  and  had  entirely  different  reasons  for 
desiring  to  open  the  trunk  from  the  one  professed, 
merely  replied  that,  if  this  was  the  man  he  was  after, 
he  didn't  pretend  there  was  any  likelihood  of  his  blow 
ing  up  his  landlady's  house  by  design. 

"But  dynamite  is  very  uncertain  stuff,"  he  said. 
"  Besides  this,  you  might  have  the  police  after  you  for 
harboring  the  man.  He  is  a  tall,  large,  broad-shoul 
dered,  dark-complexioned  man,  isn't  he  ?  " 

"  You've  ast  that  twice  a'ready,"  sharply  cried  Miss 
Tillie,  before  her  mother  could  commit  herself.  "You 
don't  show  us  no  authority  to  come  here  and  pry  into 
our  affairs;  and  if  I  was  ma  I'd  show  you  the  door." 

Mrs.  Gipps  quailed  at  these  courageous  words  of  her 
daring  offspring;  but  the  stranger  heard  her  with  im 
perturbable  tranquillity,  and,  not  in  the  least  embar 
rassed  or  offended,  he  took  his  departure;  and  Miss 
Gipps  and  her  mother,  in  high  excitement,  discussed 
the  event. 

They  were  unanimously  of  the  opinion  that  the  man 
was  a  detective;  but  concerning  the  question  as  to 
what  the  colonel  had  been  doing  that  a  detective 
should  be  after  him,  they  at  first  differed  widely.  Mrs. 
Gipps  was  taken  in  about  the  dynamite  and  thought 
the  colonel  must  be  some  great  political  refugee;  and 
she  was  as  afraid  as  death  to  stand  within  a  dozen 
yards  of  the  suspected  trunk.  But  Miss  Tillie  laughed 
the  idea  to  scorn.  The  detective,  she  declared,  had 


20  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

been  put  on  the  colonel's  track  by  some  woman's  jeal 
ous  husband— that  was  the  whole  story;  and  what  he 
wanted  to  open  the  trunk  for  was  to  steal  the  woman's 
letters ! 

"Well,  well,  well!"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  "I  never 
thought  of  that !  I  don't  believe  that  ticking-  comes 
from  anything-  more'n  a  clock.  Well,  what  are  we  go 
ing  to  do  ? " 

Miss  Tillie  was  wrapped  in  meditation.  She  was 
anxious  to  put  the  colonel  on  his  guard  against  the 
detective,  or  else  he  might  be  suddenly  compelled  to 
seek  safety  in  flight,  but  then  here  was  another  diffi 
culty.  Should  they  inform  him  of  the  man's  visit,  he 
might  remove  to  other  quarters  and  they  would  lose 
him  anyhow. 

"  I  don't  think  we  had  better  say  a  word  about  it 
just  yet  a  while,"  said  Miss  Gipps  decisively ;  "  less  wait 
and  see  what'll  turn  up."  And  her  mother  acquiesced. 

In  the  course  of  a  few  days,  standing  on  the  front 
steps  of  the  Gipps  mansion  at  about  half-past  one 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon,  watching  the  magnificent  fig 
ure  of  the  colonel  who  had  just  left  the  house,  Miss 
Tillie  saw  a  man  with  sparse  red  whiskers,  a  white 
straw  hat,  blue,  baggy  trousers,  and  an  alpaca  coat 
step  out  from  under  the  awning  of  the  drug  store  at 
the  Corner  and  walk  slowly  after  their  lodger. 

Miss  Gipps,  thrilled  with  the  excitement  of  the  ad 
venture  looming  up  ahead,  seized  her  hat  from  the 
hat-rack  in  the  hall,  snatched  her  sun  umbrella,  and, 
without  other  preparation,  started  in  pursuit. 

The  colonel  proceeded  on  his  way  unconscious  of  the 
army  in  the  rear,  and  turned  down  Sixth  Avenue, 
closely  followed  by  the  red-whiskered  man,  who  was 
closely  followed  by  Miss  Gipps. 

The  colonel  walked  slowly  down  the  avenue  one 


A   WICKED   ADVEETISEMENT.  21 

block  and  entered  a  small,  unpretentious,  economical 
restaurant. 

The  red -whiskered  man  followed  the  colonel,  and 
Miss  Gipps  followed  the  red-whiskered  man. 

The  colonel  was  already  seated  at  a  round  table  in 
the  centre  of  the  room  facing  the  door  when  his  pur 
suers  entered,  and,  although  his  polished  manners  and 
refined  countenance  contrasted  sharply  with  his  hum 
ble  surroundings — the  soiled  table-cloth,  the  swarms  of 
flies,  the  slovenly  waiters,  and  the  plebeian  patrons, 
yet  there  was  nothing  in  his  demeanor  to  indicate  his 
consciousness  of  this  as  he  politely  gave  his  order  to  a 
waiter  with  a  very  dirty  apron  and  an  equalty  dirty  face. 

The  red-whiskered  man  slipped  into  the  seat  nearest 
the  door  and  ordered  something  cheap;  but  Miss 
Gipps,  who  by  this  time  had  finished  pulling  on  her 
mitts,  swept  into  the  middle  of  the  room,  bowed  gra 
ciously  to  the  astonished  gentleman  at  the  round  table 
in  the  centre,  and  made  a  feint  of  seating  herself  at  a 
side-table  near  by,  when  the  colonel  arose  and  invited 
her  to  his  own  table. 

The  man  with  the  sparse  red  whiskers  the  colonel 
did  not  observe ;  nor  did  this  individual  appear  to  ob 
serve  him. 

Miss  Gipps,  with  a  fine  affectation  of  delighted  sur 
prise,  accepted  the  colonel's  invitation. 

She  didn't  want  anything  to  eat,  she  excitedly  de 
clared;  she  hadn't  any  appetite;  but  she  would  just 
take  a  porter-house  steak,  Saratoga  chips,  some  sliced 
tomatoes,  a  glass  of  iced  tea,  some  red  raspberries  and 
Vienna  rolls;  and  she  was  very  particular  about  hav 
ing  some  chipped  ice  on  both  the  tomatoes  and  rasp 
berries. 

After  giving  this  little  order,  she  turned  to  the  colo 
nel,  exclaiming  with  quivering  voice: 


22  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  Colonel,  you  don't  know  what  brings  me  here! " 
The  colonel  courteously  expressed  his  unqualified 
ignorance  and  his  entire  readiness  to  listen  to  the  ex 
planation. 

"  Well,  Colonel,  I  don't  know  what  you'll  think  of 
me  taking-  so  much  interest  in — in  you !  Colonel,  do 
you  see  that  red  whiskered  man  down  there  by  the 
door  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  see  a  man  with  red  whiskers  near  the  door." 
"  Well,  Colonel,  just  consider,"  she  continued  in  a 
sensational  whisper,  "  whether  there  is  anj^body  in  this 
city  or  anywhere  else  that  would  set  a  detective  on 
your  track! "  And  the  colonel  gazed  from  her  to  the 
man  and  back  to  her  again  in  gentlemanly  astonish 
ment.  Miss  Gipps  was  encouraged  to  proceed  with 
her  sensational  narrative.  "  I  saw  him,  Colonel,"  she 
cried  impressively,  "I  saw  him  with  my  own  eyes  fol 
lowing  you  along  the  street,  and  that's  why  I  started 
after.  Dear  me !  I  never  was  so  frightened  in  all  my 
life.  I  was  ready  to  die !  0  Colonel !  I  beg  of  you  to 
take  care  of  yourself! " 

"  I  am  exceedingly  obliged  to  you,  madam,  for  the 
pains  you  have  taken  to  inform  me  of  this — 
"  Ah,  Colonel,  I'd  have  kept  up  the  chase  ten  miles! " 
"I  am  exceedingly  obliged;  but  I  know  of  no  reason 
why  this  man  should  be  designedly   following  me. 
Here  is  your  lunch.     I  see  by  the  papers  there  is  music 
in  Central  Park  this  afternoon.    You  ought  to  go  out* 
you  and  your  mother.    The  air  would  do  you  good." 

"Ma  never  cares  to  go;  and  as  for  me,  I  don't  want 
to  go  alone.  I'd  like  to  go.  I've  been  dying  to  go  to 
the  Casino  all  summer;  but  ma  doesn't  want  to  go 
and  I  can't  go  alone  of  course.  I  wanted  to  go  to  the 
Lyceum  last  week  more  than  I  can  tell  you.  But  how 
can  I  go  ?  I  would  dearly  love  to  go  out  to  Central 


A   WICKED  ADVERTISEMENT.  23 

Park  Garden,  too,  some  evening  and  hear  Gilmore's 
band;  but  I  can't  go  alone." 

"  No,  certainly  not — what  a  glorious  thing  it  will  be 
for  your  sex  when  the  millennium  comes!  All  men 
will  then  be  gentlemen,  and  all  women  ladies,  and  you 
can  walk  the  streets  at  midnight  without  harm  or  re 
proach." 

"O  Colonel!  what  a  lovely  idea  that  is  now!  But 
the  millennium  hasn't  come  yet,  and  what's  a  body 
going  to  do  till  it  does  ?  " 

"  You  must  have  patience,  faith,  hope,  and  courage." 

By  this  time  Miss  Gipps,  being  a  rapid  and  diligent 
eater,  the  greater  and  better  part  of  the  porterhouse 
steak  had  disappeared,  together  with  all  the  chips, 
tomatoes,  raspberries,  rolls,  and  cold  tea,  and  they  rose 
from  the  table;  while  the  red- whiskered  man  near  the 
door,  who  had  had  a  great  ado  to  make  his  economi 
cal  repast  of  wheaten  grits  and  milk  outlast  the  lady's 
sumptuous  meal,  also  rose  and  followed  them. 

"Colonel!  O  Colonel!  that  man's  behind  us!"  cried 
Miss  Gipps,  in  the  colonel's  ear,  tugging  hard  at  his 
arm. 

"  I  thank  you,  madam,  for  your  thoughtfulness,"  re 
plied  the  colonel,  without  noticing  the  fellow.  "  It  is 
really  quite  immaterial  whether  he  follows  me  or  not," 
he  added,  though  vaguely  wondering  whether  the  man 
might  not  be  an  emissary  of  his  legal  opponents. 

"  Colonel,  you  musn't  get  reckless,"  murmured  Miss 
Gipps,  solemnly,  in  his  ear. 

The  colonel  returned  with  her  as  far  as  the  corner 
where  he  took  a  street-car,  and  Miss  Gipps  started 
toward  home;  not,  however  till  she  had  seen  the  man 
with  the  red  whiskers  follow  the  colonel  into  the  car. 


24  COL.   JUDSON   OP   ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  II. 

THE  COLONEL  MAKES  THE  ACQUAINTANCE  OF  A  YANKEE 
SCHOOLMASTER— A  SUPERFLUOUS  CHAPTER. 

IF  the  Gipps  family  had  bargained  away  their  in 
herent  right  to  ask  questions  when  they  answered  their 
lodger's  peculiar  advertisement,  their  visitors  were  cer 
tainly  not  bound  by  any  such  cruel  stipulation;  and, 
as  they  had  both  declared,  they  knew  if  Mr.  Dickel 
missed  asking-  the  colonel  anything  he  wanted  to  find 
out,  it  would  be  something  new  for  him;  hence  their 
polite  invitation  for  him  to  drop  in  and  spend  the  even 
ing,  and  make  the  acquaintance  of  a  Southern  gentle 
man — he  was  so  partial  to  Southern  people — an  invi 
tation  of  which  he  availed  himself  in  due  course  of 
time. 

Mr.  Dickel  was  a  little  man,  with  a  leonine,  ferocious 
aspect  about  the  face  and  head  due  to  a  remarkable 
growth  of  hair  which  rolled  back  from  his  forehead  in 
thick,  wavy,  iron-gray  masses  and  fell  around  his  neck 
in  a  shaggy  mane,  while  a  huge,  bushy,  curling  mus 
tache  reached  below  his  jaw  and  mingled  with  the 
hair  of  his  head  about  the  neck;  heavy,  jet-black, 
shaggy  eyebrows  formed  full  semicircles  over  a  pair  of 
very  large,  bulging,  black  eyes,  giving  him  a  peculiar, 
but  very  disagreeable  expression,  which,  attracting 
toward  him  the  prolonged  gaze  of  every  one  he  met, 
confirmed  and  strengthened  his  opinion  that  few  per 
sons  on  earth  equaled  him  in  importance.  The  backs 


A   YANKEE   SCHOOLMASTER.  25 

of  his  hands  possessed  the  same  hirsute  nature  as  his 
face  and  head,  while  his  attire  evinced  a  mind  superior 
to  the  trivialities  and  vanities  of  dress. 

In  a  state  of  nature,  Mr.  Dickel  was  crabbed,  mo 
rose,  and  hard  to  please;  but  a  little  palaver,  a  little 
egregious  flattery,  would  convert  him,  for  a  brief  while, 
into  a  mood  of  simpering  amiability.  He  was  a  man 
of  but  slender  education,  although  in  early  life  he  had 
been  a  schoolmaster  and  had  lived  as  such  in  various 
parts  of  the  South.  But  limited  as  was  his  learning, 
he  was  yet  pedantic,  dictatorial,  and  dogmatic,  esteem 
ing  himself  the  superior  of  almost  everybody  and  the 
peer  of  all  the  rest. 

This  perfect  man,  when  he  was  down  South,  was 
always  telling  the  people  down  there  that  there  was 
no  place  fit  to  live  in  but  the  North;  nothing  was  ever 
done  right  anywhere  else,  nothing  made  right,  noth 
ing  cooked  right,  nothing  tasted  right.  But  when  he 
came  back  home,  he  as  stubbornly  maintained  that  he 
wished  he  had  stayed  in  the  South.  Down  there  he 
never  caught  cold,  the  climate  was  "  elegant,"  the 
people  agreeable,  and  everything  was  done  to  suit  him. 
In  short,  Mr.  Dickel  was  always  down  on  present  com 
pany,  on  existing  things,  on  everything  that  those 
about  him  liked. 

The  only  praise  he  was  ever  known  to  utter  of  any 
body  or  anything  was  spoken  of  the  absent  to  make 
present  company  feel  their  deficiencies,  or  to  show  up, 
by  contrast,  the  defects  or  imperfections  of  something 
he  was  tr37ing  to  run  down.  As  to  his  politics:  in  the 
company  of  Democrats  he  was  a  red-hot  Republican, 
aggressive  and  insolent;  in  the  society  of  Republicans, 
he  was  a  Democrat  of  the  most  pronounced  type, 
standing  up  for  everything  the  ^Republicans  were  down 
on;  and  whether  posing  as  Democrat  or  Republican, 


26  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

everybody  that  belonged  to  the  other  party  was  not 
only  a  fool  but  a  villain  to  boot. 

No  sooner  did  Mr.  Dickel's  big,  bulging-,  black  eyes 
rest  upon  the  handsome  features  and  colossal  form  of 
the  high-bred,  courtly  Southerner,  than  all  his  usual 
antipathy  for  present  company  was  aroused ;  and  the 
ceremony  of  introduction  having  been  performed,  he 
threw  himself  airily  into  an  arm-chair,  and  thus  as 
sailed  the  peaceable  stranger: 

"  Well,  sir,  I  lived  in  the  South  quite  a  number  of 
years!  I  natter  myself,  sir,  I  know  a  little  something 
about  you  folks  down  there  and  your  peculiar  insti- 
tootion — that  was,  sir!" 

"  Ah,  indeed,  you  have  been  in  the  South ! "  politely 
returned  the  colonel,  ignoring  the  indelicate  allusion 
to  the  "  peculiar  institootion  that  was." 

"  Yes,  sir,  I  was  in  the  South  before  the  war,  quite 
a  number  of  years;  and  I  have  been  down  there  a 
couple  of  times  since.  I  was  there,  sir,"  he  cried,  rais 
ing  his  voice  to  an  oratorical  pitch,  his  vehemence  in 
creasing,  "  when  you  folks  made  traffic  of  human  flesh 
and  blood,  sir,"  and  here  his  hairy  fist  came  down  hard 
on  the  arm  of  the  chair.  "  And  I  was  there,"  he  con 
tinued,  "  when  you  were  undergoing  the  well-merited 
penalty  of  your  hid  jus  crimes,  sir ! " 

For  one  moment  there  was  a  flash  of  indignant  as 
tonishment  in  the  Southerner's  eyes;  but  his  superior 
breeding  triumphed.  He  attempted  no  reply  and 
Dickel  rushed  impetuously  and  relentlessly  on. 

"  Well,  sir,  I  used  to  have  m&ny  a  long  argument 
with  you  folks  down  there  before  the  war  (I  came  near 
getting  tarred  and  feathered!);  but  I  never  could  con 
vince  a  slaveholder  that  slavery  would  ever  be  abol 
ished  and  that  there  was  any  sin  in  that  institootion. 
That  had  to  be  licked  into  you  folks  down  there,  sir, 


A   YANKEE   SCHOOLMASTER.  27 

by  Northern  muskets  and  Northern  cannon.  Well, 
sir,  I  saw  what  slavery  was;  and  what  I  always  pre 
dicted  came  to  pass — slavery  was  abolished,  the  black 
man  was  freed,  and  the  South  to-day  and  ever  since 
the  war,  has  been  undergoing  ju-st  what  I  prophesied — 
she  has  been  getting  her  deserts !  It's  awful,  terrible,  I 
know — the  disorders,  the  anarchy,  that  reigned  there : 
but  can't  you  see,  yourself,  sir,  the  hand  of  God  in  all 
that  ?  The  Bible  says, '  The  Lord  God  is  merciful  and 
gracious  and  long-suffering,  but  by  no  means  clearing 
the  guilty;  visiting  the  iniquity  of  the  fathers  upon 
the  children,  and  upon  the  children's  children  unto  the 
third  and  fourth  generation.' " 

"Then,"  replied  the  colonel,  "why  should  the  North 
not  suffer  with  us  ?  It  was  our  common  ancestors  who 
sanctioned  and  legalized  slavery  North  as  well  as 
South.  The  Constitution  of  the  United  States,  which 
guaranteed  not  only  slavery,  but  even  protected  the 
slave-trade  for  a  limited  period,  was  framed  by  dele 
gates  from  both  sections,  and  was  adopted  by  all  the 
thirteen  colonies." 

"  Ah !  but  you  Southerners,"  cried  Dickel,  "  held  on 
to  slavery  after  all  the  rest  of  the  Christian  world  got 
their  eyes  open  and  saw  the  sin  in  its  right  light. 
England  abolished  slavery  in  her  colonies  in  1834. 
The  serfs  of  Russia  were  emancipated  by  imperial 
ukase  in  1842;  while  here  in  the  United  States  the 
South  alone  refused  to  give  up  slavery.  In  the  North 
it  was  prohibited  by  one  State  after  another,  although 
it  had  been  practically  dead  here  long  before.  Our 
people  here  didn't  wait  for  the  State  to  step  in  and 
take  their  slaves  away." 

"  That  was  very  shrewd,"  replied  the  colonel,  "  and 
it  appears  to  me  that  it  was  very  easy  to  abolish  slav 
ery  when  it  no  longer  existed.  The  North,  as  you  say, 


28  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

did  not  free  her  slaves  on  their  owners'  hands.  The 
prohibition  of  slavery  in  the  North  emancipated  no 
slaves.  They  had  already  been  sent  South  and  sold, 
for  the  simple  reason  that  slave  labor  could  not  be 
profitably  employed  here.  During  the  long,  cold  win 
ters  of  the  North,  there  was  not  work  enough  to  pay 
for  their  maintenance ;  in  fact,  even  in  the  slave  States 
it  had  long  ago  been  found  that  breadstuffs  and  the 
staples  of  the  North  could  not  be  profitably  cultivated 
by  slave  labor:  hence  in  Delaware  slavery  was  nearly 
dead  before  the  war;  so  also  in  Maryland;  in  Virginia 
it  was  fast  dying  out,  and,  in  time,  had  it  been  allowed 
to  die  a  natural  death,  it  would  have  receded  South 
along  the  entire  border.  In  the  far  Southern  States, 
where  the  labor  of  the  slave  was  profitable  on  the  cot 
ton  and  sugar  plantations,  and  where  no  other  labor 
was  to  be  had  but  that  of  the  blacks,  it  would,  of 
course,  have  made  a  stand;  but  when  it  existed  only 
in  so  small  a  number  of  the  States  of  our  Union,  the 
consciences  of  a  majority  of  our  representatives  in 
Congress  would  doubtless  have  awakened  to  the  sin 
— the  crime  of  slavery — as  did  those  of  the  representa 
tives  in  your  State  legislatures  here  at  the  North, 
when,  with  the  Southern  planters'  money  for  their 
slaves  in  their  pockets,  they  framed  bills  and  amend 
ments  to  their  constitutions  for  the  prohibition  of 
slavery;  and  so,  in  the  same  way,  slavery  would  have 
been  abolished  by  Congress — the  only  legal  way  to 
have  accomplished  the  object  under  republican  insti 
tutions." 

"  Oh,  well,"  cried  Dickel, "  but  there  would  have  been 
a  great  howl  from  the  slave-owners.  They  would 
have  claimed  pay." 

"Certainly;  England  paid,  so  did  Russia;  and  the 
South  paid  the  North — let  not  that  be  forgotten — the 


A  YANKEE   SCHOOLMASTER.  29 

South  paid  the  North  for  every  one  of  the  slaves  which 
the  Northern  people  emancipated  by  sending1  them 
South  to  be  sold  under  the  hammer !  If  the  Southern 
planter  asked  to  be  indemnified,  it  would  have  been 
but  justice  to  him  that  he  should  have  been.  I  should 
be  at  a  loss  to  understand  that  state  of  a  man's  con 
science  or  that  sense  of  justice  that  would  allow  him 
to  sell  his  slaves  to  another,  and  then,  with  the  money 
in  his  pocket,  go  into  Congress  and  set  free  those  very 
slaves  which  the  other  had  bought  and  paid  him  for, 
and  then  refuse  the  latter  all  compensation.  The 
Emancipation  Proclamation  of  Abraham  Lincoln  can 
only  be  justified  as  a  war  measure.  It  was  a  crushing- 
blow  at  the  Southern  Confederacy,  and  as  such  alone 
can  it  be  defended  either  from  the  standpoint  of  the 
statesman  or  the  Christian.  If  Lincoln  himself  had 
not  so  regarded  it,  why  did  he  so  long-  defer  it  in  de 
fiance  of  the  ardent  wishes  of  so  many  of  his  most 
zealous  friends  and  supporters  and  in  spite  of  the  pres 
sure  brought  to  bear  upon  him  by  the  swarms  of  aboli 
tionists  who  flocked  around  him,  openly  expressing- 
their  disgust  and  indignation  at  what  they  esteemed 
his  half-hearted  interest  in  the  cause  they  championed, 
even  to  the  extent  of  charging-  him  with  treachery  and 
pusillanimity ! " 

"  Well,  sir,  if  that  is  so,"  replied  Dickel,  "  the  war 
was  a  great  blessing  to  the  poor  nigger.  You  may  say 
slavery  was  dying  out,  but  I  saw  no  signs  of  it  when 
I  was  down  there.  The  Southern  people  didn't  look 
upon  the  negroes  as  human  beings.  Gracious  heavens ! 
when  I  think  about  it,  I  wonder  how  such  a  large  num 
ber  of  people  could  be  g-ot  together  to  uphold  and  per 
petuate  such  a  monstrous  institution ! " 

"  We  of  the  South  were  born  to  slaverj7.  We  inher 
ited  the  institution  from  our  ancestors,  and  from  your 


30  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

ancestors  of  the  North.  If  we  saw  its  defects  and 
drawbacks,  we  saw  no  escape  from  it.  The  blacks  are 
the  only  laborers  we  have  in  the  South;  and  there  ap 
peared  no  possibility  of  securing  the  labor  of  an  indo 
lent,  shiftless,  improvident,  and  capricious  race  except 
by  holding  them  in  bondage — a  course  universally  be 
lieved  to  be  as  necessary  to  their  own  welfare  as  vital 
to  the  interests  of  their  masters.  Thus  we  justified 
the  institution.  We  were  used  to  it.  We  saw  it 
among  our  virtuous  neighbors  and  our  respected  and 
beloved  friends;  and  we  went  to  our  churches  and 
prayed  to  our  God  and  slept  without  a  fear  of  the 
Judgment." 

"  That's  very  true ! "  cried  Dickel,  excitedly.  "  You 
couldn't  see  slavery  as  a  sin.  You  had  to  have  that 
idea  licked  into  you  by  Northern  guns  and  Northern 
bayonets!  When  I  was  down  there  I  used  to  be  all 
the  time  arguing  and  trying  to  persuade  you  folks  of 
your  errors ;  but  arguments  were  good  for  nothing,  and, 
as  I  said,  I  came  near  being  tarred  and  feathered.  It 
took  powder  and  cannon  balls  to  clear  out  your  minds 
and  sharpen  up  your  understanding.  I  couldn't  help 
being  amused  when  I  went  down  there  after  slavery 
was  abolished  to  see  how  gunpowder  had  changed 
men's  opinions.  Some  of  the  very  men  I  used  to  argue 
with  about  the  wickedness  of  buying  and  selling  human 
beings  were  ready  to  admit  that  the  South  was  better 
off  without  slavery — that  it  was  cheaper  in  the  end  to 
hire  their  laborers  when  they  wanted  them  and  turn 
them  off  when  there  was  nothing  to  do,  and  not  be 
compelled  to  support  the  young,  the  old,  and  the  sick, 
and  to  bury  the  dead." 

"  You  discern  some  of  the  advantages  which  the  in 
stitution  secured  to  the  negroes,  I  perceive,  Mr.  Dickel," 
interposed  the  colonel.  "  The  slave  knew  no  hard 


A  YANKEE   SCHOOLMASTER.  31 

times,  was  never  thrown  out  of  employment,  never 
forced  to  go  on  a  tramp  and  beg-  his  food  from  door  to 
door,  never  lived  in  dread  of  the  almshouse  or  Potters 
field,  even  as  the  result  of  his  own  idleness  and  im 
providence." 

"  Well,  sir,  I  see  you  still  uphold  the  institootion," 
returned  Dickel,  satirically. 

" No,"  replied  the  colonel,  decisively.  "Slavery  has 
been  the  curse  of  the  South.  The  whole  burden  of  the 
iniquity  of  our  common  ancestors,  which,  according  to 
your  Biblical  edict,  should  have  been  visited  upon  the 
whole  land,  has  fallen  upon  the  South  alone.  The 
North  had  experimented  with  slave  labor  and  aban 
doned  it  as  unprofitable;  yet  the  South  alone  has  paid 
the  dreadful  penalty  for  every  black  man  torn  from 
the  wilds  of  Africa  and  brought  here  to  be  enslaved." 

"  You  forget  the  war — the  blood  and  treasure  that 
slavery  cost  the  North,"  interrupted  Dickel. 

"  By  no  means,"  replied  the  colonel.  "  The  war  cost 
the  North  many  lives  and  limbs;  but  her  treasure 
remains.  The  war  gave  boundless  prosperity  to  the 
North ;  but  the  South  was  ruined,  bankrupted.  Con 
sider  her  terrible  condition  when  the  war  ended! 
With  no  representation  in  Congress,  no  voice  rising  in 
her  behalf,  abandoned  by  all  the  world,  having  just 
issued  from  the  deadliest  of  conflicts,  financially  shat 
tered,  the  condition  of  her  people  was  pitiable  in  the 
extreme :  and  the  North,  discrediting  the  sincerity  of 
their  promised  allegiance,  settled  upon  that  long, 
weary,  suicidal  policy  qualified  'Reconstruction'— a 
policy  born  of  excitement  and  passion — for  the  idea 
cannot,  for  a  moment,  be  entertained  that  the  ruin  of 
a  once  magnificent,  noble  people  can  have  been  the  de 
liberate  aim  of  enlightened  Christian  statesmen." 

"  Congress  handled  you  the  best  way  it  could,"  cried 


32  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

Dickel.  "  It  was  a  pretty  bad  mess  you'd  got  your 
selves  into.  I  don't  know  what  better  could  have  been 
dotie  with  you.  But  I  guess  if  you  hadn't  lost  your 
niggers  you  could  have  stood  all  the  rest.  There's 
where  the  shoe  pinched!  But  you  folks  down  there 
must  get  used  to  things  and  learn  to  work  like  we  do 
here  in  the  North!  Slavery  is  dead,  thank  Heaven! 
and  if  there  was  no  other  proof  of  the  sufferings  it 
wrought  upon  the  negroes,  it  would  be  found  in  the 
great  joy  with  which  they  hailed  their  freedom/' 

"  That  was  because,  to  their  ignorant  minds,  free 
dom  signified  immunity  from  labor.  Had  they  felt 
the  passionate  desire  for  liberty  which  they  are  poet 
ically  imagined  to  have  felt,  many  of  them  could  have 
bought  their  freedom.  The  field  hands  had  their  little 
plots  of  ground  given  them  by  their  masters  where 
they  raised  vegetables,  fruits,  chickens,  and  eggs,  which 
they  sold  for  their  own  benefit ;  in  their  evening  hours 
of  leisure  and  holidays  they  cured  moss  for  mattresses, 
made  horse-collars  of  bark  and  corn-shucks,  baskets 
and  chairs  of  white- oak  splits,  and  scrubbing-brushes 
and  brooms  of  corn- shucks,  all  of  which  they  sold  for 
themselves.  The  men  also  sold  the  furs  of  animals 
which  they  trapped  and  the  fish  they  caught;  while 
the  house  servants  and  those  in  hotels  were  in  constant 
receipt  of  fees  from  guests.  But  one  and  all,  they  spent 
their  money  in  finery  or  childish  indulgences.  The 
women  bought  gay  parasols,  bright  kerchiefs,  fancy 
dresses,  and  ornaments;  the  men  bought  tobacco,  har 
monicas,  banjos,  jewsharps,  accordions,  and  when  they 
could  get  it  secretly,  they  bought  whiskey  and  rum ; 
and  both  men  and  wromen  bought  candy  and  sweet 
meats.  Now  conceive  such  a  character  as  Mrs.  Stowe's 
Dred,  burning  for  liberty  and  spending  even  the  small 
est  part  of  the  price  of  his  own  freedom  in  a  jewsharp 


A  YANKEE   SCHOOLMASTER.  33 

or  an  accordion !  Such  characters  never  had  actual 
existence  anywhere  in  the  South." 

"  Well,  sir !  well,  sir ! "  cried  Dickel, "  the  poor  darkey 
is  a  pretty  bad  fellow  according  to  your  story ! " 

"It  is  to  Northern  illusions  concerning  the  negro 
and  his  sufferings,"  continued  the  colonel,  disregarding 
the  interruption,  "  that  the  war  and  its  terrible  conse 
quences  were  mainly  due.  I  am  sure  the  Northern 
people  of  to-day,  looking  back  from  their  present 
knowledge  of  the  negroes  as  they  see  them  now  in 
their  own  midst,  must  feel  acutely  the  difference  be 
tween  the  negro  of  romance  and  the  negro  of  reality." 

"  Well,  sir,  well,  sir ! "  cried  Dickel, "  to  hear  you,  one 
would  think  we  had  the  war  to  fight  all  over  again. 
But,  thank  Heaven,  the  poor  negro  is  a  freeman  and  a 
citizen,  sir;  and  Congress  has  enacted  wise  laws  to 
protect  him  against  the  malevolence  of  the  Southern 
people  and  to  insure  him  their  respect." 

"  Men  cannot  be  legislated  into  the  respect  of  the 
world,"  replied  the  colonel.  "  Give  a  man  a  champion 
and  he  feels  that  he  has  an  oppressor;  a  defender,  and 
he  feels  that  he  has  a  grievance.  The  only  effect  of 
such  legislation  is  to  deepen  the  enmity  and  antag 
onism  between  the  two  races;  to  increase  the  arro 
gance,  the  turbulence,  and  the  dissatisfaction  of  the 
blacks,  and  to  intensify  the  hatred  of  the  whites,  with 
out  securing  to  the  negroes  any  real  advantage, 
social,  political,  or  industrial.  It  keeps  alive  the  mem 
ory  of  fancied  wrongs,  and  inspires  those  acts  of  vin- 
dictiveness  and  lawlessness  that  arouse  at  once  the 
terror  and  the  hatred  of  the  whites.  The  blacks  of 
the  South  actually  accept  every  law  passed  by  Con 
gress  for  their  especial  protection  as  a  new  license  to 
commit  depredations  and  atrocities  on  their  former 
masters.  No  advantage  has  accrued  to  them  thus 
3 


34  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

far  from  such  legislation  in  their  behalf,  except  the  ad 
vantages  derived  from  their  acts  of  rapine,  violence, 
and  the  lowest,  vilest  cunning-  which  these  laws  en 
courage.  It  was  all  unnecessary,  useless,  and  in  the 
highest  degree  impolitic  considered  both  as  to  its  effects 
on  the  sore  feelings  of  the  conquered  people  of  the 
South  and  upon  the  ignorant  blacks,  who  could  not 
rightly  understand  its  true  import;  and  it  was  dan 
gerous  to  society  both  in  its  immediate  and  its  remote 
effects  on  the  relations  of  the  two  races." 

"  Well,  well/'  cried  Dickel,  "  it  is  astonishing  to  see 
what  hostility  you  Southerners  manifest  toward  every 
measure  of  the  government  for  the  improvement  of 
the  condition  of  the  poor  nigger  when  you  should  show 
your  appreciation  of  its  clemency  toward  you  rebels 
by  steadfast  loyalty  and  by  every  act  of  patriotism 
within  your  power." 

"  What  were  the  first  measures  of  the  government 
to  restore  the  empire  of  the  Union  over  the  hearts  of 
the  Southern  people  ?  Was  it  to  be  accomplished  by 
the  infliction  of  the  Freedman's  Bureau,  that  modern 
inquisition  that  sowed  the  seeds  of  discord  between 
the  negro  and  his  former  master  in  every  Southern 
household  ?  Was  it  to  be  accomplished  by  sending  down 
upon  us  the  buzzards  of  the  North  to  prey  upon  us 
without  pity  and  without  remorse  ?  to  reign  over  us 
like  the  satraps  of  the  East  over  a  crushed  and  fallen 
people  ?  to  insult,  humiliate,  and  oppress  us  daily — men 
of  low  affinities,  of  degraded  habits,  utterly  without 
shame,  without  conscience,  without  fear  of  a  reckon 
ing,  and  indifferent  to  public  opinion  ?  Or  was  it  to  be 
accomplished  by  imposing  on  us,  at  the  instance  of 
Northern  cormorants,  the  shysters  of  the  Tombs  to 
sit  as  judges  in  our  courts,  to  recover,  by  partisan  de 
cisions  and  corrupt  judgments,  the  ante-war  claims  of 


A  YANKEE  SCHOOLMASTER.  35 

Northern  merchants  which  had  trebled  and  quadru 
pled  by  time  and  costs  ?  Or  did  the  government  think 
to  arouse  the  enthusiasm  and  gratitude  of  an  impover 
ished  and  despondent  people  by  its  imposition  of  a  bur 
densome  tax  on  cotton  at  a  time  when  they  had  no 
representation  in  Congress?  Or  was  it  expected  to 
foster  patriotism  and  to  awaken  rejoicings  for  the  sal 
vation  of  the  Union  by  the  provisions  of  the  Civil  Rights 
Bill,  and  by  the  premature  enfranchisement  of  the 
negro  whereby  he  was  enthroned  over  his  former  mas 
ter  and  became  a  lawmaker  while  he  was  yet  a  law 
breaker,  and  was  enabled  to  sit  in  legislative  halls 
though  ragged  and  barefoot,  and  unable  to  read  the 
ballots  that  elected  him  ?  The  Northern  mind  can 
never  conceive  of  the  terrible  sufferings  of  the  South 
ern  people  in  those  dreadful  days  when  our  domestic 
hierarchy  was  broken  up  and  our  muscles  were  taken 
away  from  us ;  and  it  seems  as  if  the  government  de 
signed  to  drive  us  to  desperation,  not  to  conciliate  us." 

"You  brought  it  all  on  yourselves!"  cried  Dickel. 
"You  brought  it  all  on  yourselves!  There's  nothing 
jolly  about  war!  But  you  folks  down  there,  you  fired 
the  first  gun — don't  you  forget  that !  You  can't  point 
to  the  sufferings  you  brought  on  yourselves  as  any 
excuse  for  your  want  of  patriotism.  Congress  handled 
you  the  best  way  it  could." 

"  Surely  never  was  state-craft  less  scientific.  Every 
measure  for  the  reconstruction  of  the  Southern  States 
utterly  failed  to  accomplish  the  one  object  for  which  a 
government  is  necessary — the  peace  and  tranquillity 
and  prosperity  of  the  people.  Yet  surprise  is  expressed 
that  we  are  not  become  fervid  patriots  because  we 
were  not  all  caught  and  hanged." 

"  I  am  afraid,  sir,"  cried  Dickel,  "  that  you  are  a  sad 
pessimist.  One  would  think,  to  hear  you,  sir,  that  the 


36  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

government  had  done  nothing  to  give  you  folks  a  lift, 
and  that  the  whole  South  had  gone  to  the  demnition 
bow-wows.  Slavery  is  dead,  sir,  and  that's  all  you 
folks  down  there  have  got  to  howl  about;  and  you'll 
have  to  learn  to  work  and  make  the  best  of  things  like 
we  do  here  at  the  North." 

"  Yes,  slavery  is  indeed  dead,"  responded  the  colonel; 
"and  certainly  it  must  have  died  a  natural  death  at 
some  time  in  the  future;  but  its  violent,  untimely, 
unnatural  taking  off  has  entailed  untold  misery  upon 
the  white  people  of  the  South — misery  from  which  it 
will  take  more  than  one  generation  to  recover." 

"Well,  sir,"  cried  Dickel,  rising  to  take  his  leave, 
"  Ave'll  have  to  have  another  war,  I  guess.  I  have  been 
a  schoolmaster  in  my  time;  when  I  had  an  unruly 
boy  I  thrashed  him;  when  I  got  through,  if  he  under 
took  to  remonstrate  or  complain  of  his  punishment,  I 
thrashed  him  again." 

The  colonel  had  risen  with  the  visitor,  and,  towering 
like  a  giant  above  the  little  man,  still  mild  and  sub 
lime,  quietly  answered : 

"  Let  us  hope  we  shall  never  have  another  such  war, 
Mr.  Dickel.  I  am  happy  to  have  met  you,  sir.  It  is 
well  the  people  of  the  North  and  South  should  know 
each  other's  opinions,  and  the  point  of  view  from  which 
these  questions  are  seen." 

"Well,  sir,"  replied  Dickel,  pompously,  "if  you  have 
derived  any  benefit  from  the  views  I  have  promul 
gated,  it  is  a  great  satisfaction  to  me.  You  ought  to 
remember  that  slavery  is  dead,  the  Union  has  been 
saved;  and  the  sooner  you  folks  down  South  get  used 
to  things  and  knuckle  down  to  work,  the  better.  I 
wish  you  good  evening,  sir." 


MISS  TILLIE  COURTS  THE   COLONEL.  37 


CHAPTER  III. 

MISS  TILLIE  COURTS  THE  COLONEL. 

MR.  DICKEL  had  no  sooner  taken  his  departure  than 
Miss  Tillie,  who  had  several  times  fallen  asleep  during 
the  long  and  tedious  conversation  between  that  gen 
tleman  and  the  colonel  on  the  South  and  its  institu 
tions,  and,  in  fact,  had  slumbered  peacefully  through  all 
the  latter  part  of  it,  arose  from  her  mother's  shoulder 
with  some  ill-disguised  stiffness  of  the  joints  and  tor 
pidity  of  intellect,  exclaiming: 

"Gracious!  I'm  glad  he's  gone!  I  could  hardly 
keep  awake  hearing  him  preaching."  And  by  this  time, 
having  rubbed  her  face  over  several  times  with  her 
hands,  she  was  quite  awake,  and  added  with  rather 
more  of  her  usual  sprightliness :  "  Colonel,  there's  no 
use  caring  anything  about  what  that  Dickel  says. 
He's  always  bound  to  be  contrary.  Now  just  to  hear 
him  talk  about  the  South!  How  sassy  he  was!  The 
idea  of  his  talking  to  you  about  slavery  when  you 
owned  slaves  yourself!  The  sassy  thing!  Why,  Colo 
nel,  do  you  know,  one  while  I  expected  every  minute 
you  would  knock  him  down !  I've  always  heard  South 
erners  were  so  fiery ! " 

"  My  dear  madam,  you  and  your  mother  were  pres 
ent!  Mr.  Dickel  could  do  or  say  nothing  to  cause  me 
to  forget  that." 

"  Ah !  but  do  you  think,"  cried  the  young  lady,  with 
spirit,  "  that  ma  and  I  wouldn't  have  been  only  too  glad 
to  see  you  giving  it  to  him ! " 


38  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  I  feel  that  I  ought  to  apologize  for  allowing  my 
self  to  prolong  the  conversation,  which  must  have  been 
very  wearisome  to  you  and  your  mother/' 

"  Oh,  not  at  all/'  returned  Miss  Tillie,  complacently. 
"I'd  rather  hear  gentlemen  talk  politics  than  talk 
horse,  any  day.  Only,  if  Dickel  hadn't  been  so  sassy. 
Now,  for  my  part  I  think  I'd  a  good  deal  rather  live  in 
the  South  than  here  in  New  York ;  wouldn't  you,  ma  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  sleepily  replied  Mrs.  Gipps.  "  I  think  I  would 
like  it  in  the  South." 

"Yes,  I'd  like  to  go  South  very  much,  Colonel," 
again  cried  Miss  Tillie,  confidingly.  "  Only  think,  ma, 
to  be  where  peanuts  grow!  And  oranges,  and  figs, 
and  to  see  cotton  growing!  How  queer!  Colonel,  do 
peanuts  grow  on  trees  or  bushes  ?  " 

"  Oh,  neither !  They  grow  in  the  ground  and  are 
plowed  up  like  potatoes." 

"  Oh,  goodness,  how  funny ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  in  her 
sweet,  girlish  way.  "  I  guess  that  must  be  the  reason 
why  some  people  call  them  ground  nuts!  And  do 
figs  and  oranges  grow  in  the  ground  too,  Colonel  ?  " 

Now,  Miss  Tillie  knew  better  than  this,  but  she 
wanted  to  look  up  into  the  colonel's  face  so  childlike 
and  simple  and  receive  his  instruction. 

"  Oh  no,  indeed,"  replied  the  colonel;  "  figs  grow  on 
trees  which  send  up  clusters  of  stems  from  their  roots 
all  around  the  main  trunk,  and  all  bearing  fruit  alike; 
and  oranges  grow  on  a  tree  about  the  size  of  a  small 
apple-tree." 

"  And  how  does  cotton  grow,  Colonel;  does  that  grow 
on  trees,  too  ?  " 

"No;  cotton  is  a  ligneous  plant,  and  grows,  accord 
ing  to  the  natural  fertility  of  the  soil,  from  three  feet 
to  six  and  nine  feet  high,  and  is  planted  in  rows,  and 
grows  in  stalks  about  a  foot  or  less  apart." 


MISS  TILLIE   COURTS  THE  COLONEL.  39 

"  And  how  does  it  look,  Colonel,  when  it's  growing  ?  " 
pursued  Miss  Tillie,  with  a  fine  display  of  girlish  inter 
est  and  simplicity. 

"Its  flower,  when  first  opening,  is  white,  and  turns 
the  second  day  to  a  beautiful  pink.  This  becomes  bolls 
of  cotton  which  grow  to  the  size  of  walnuts  in  their 
rind;  when  mature,  the  bolls  burst  and  the  cotton 
locks  hang  out;  and  the  parent  stem  is  a  continual 
succession  of  blooms,  green  bolls,  and  open  cotton  till 
the  frost  kills  the  stalk." 

"  Oh,  how  lovely !  How  I  would  love  to  see  it ! "  en 
thusiastically  cried  Miss  Tillie. 

"Yes;  a  cotton  field  in  bloom  is  a  beautiful  sight, 
with  its  white  and  variegated  pink  and  dark-red  flow 
ers,"  replied  the  colonel. 

"  Don't  sugar  and  molasses  grow  down  South,  too, 
Colonel  ?  "  pursued  the  young  lady,  with  the  same  sim 
plicity  as  before. 

"We  raise  but  little  sugar-cane  in  Alabama;  that 
is  a  staple  of  Louisiana." 

"  Then,  don't  you  know  how  it  looks,  Colonel  ?  " 

"  Sugar-cane  growing  looks  like  a  corn-field,  but  the 
foliage  is  much  heavier  and  its  stalks  are  stouter  than 
corn.  The  stem  is  succulent,  and  is  cut  down  and  run 
through  cylinders,  the  juice  pressed  out  and  boiled 
down  to  molasses,  out  of  which  sugar  is  made." 

"Oh  my!  how  I  do  want  to  see  all  those  things 
grow ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  longingly.  "  How  mean  for 
Dickel  to  talk  so!  I  am  just  dying  to  go  down  South; 
and  nobody  need  ever  be  afraid  of  me  associating  with 
the  niggers !  Anything  but  that !  I  just  despise  'em 
as  much  as  ever  you  do,  Colonel,  and  would  always 
hold  them  off  at  arm's  length." 

"Madam,  you  misunderstand  me  if  you  think  I  har 
bor  any  animosity  toward  the  negro.  The  Southern 


40  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

people  could  not  hate  the  negro.  We  grew  up  with 
them  around  us.  We  could  not  hate  a  race  that  pro 
duced  our  fond  aunties  who  guided  our  feeble  steps  in 
infancy  and  answered,  as  far  as  possible,  a  thousand 
childish  questions.  The  negroes  were  not  only  a  ne 
cessity  for  the  sordid  benefits  derived  from  their  labor; 
they  dwelt  in  our  heart  of  hearts.  We  could  not  hate 
them.  We  only  deprecate  their  perversion  since  their 
emancipation." 

"Well,  Colonel,  I  know  you  don't  like  to  speak  out, 
'specially  here  in  the  North.  But  with  me  you  needn't 
be  afraid  to  say  what  you  think.  Now,  I  believe  in 
slavery,  Colonel,  and  if  I  had  my  way  I  would  make 
every  plaguey  nigger  in  the  country  a  slave  again. 
You  needn't  think  I'm  a  Republican.  I'm  a  dyed-in- 
the-wool  Democrat,  and  so  I  was  all  through  the  war, 
and  a  secesh,  too.  But  hear  me  talking  about  what  I 
was  before  the  war  as  if  I  was  a  hundred  years  old 
now ! "  cried  the  young  lady,  with  a  sudden  rush  of 
memory.  "  I  was  only  the  littlest  mite  of  a  tot  then,  of 
course;  but  I've  been  a  politician  ever  since  I  was  that 
high,"  and  Miss  Tillie  designated  the  altitude  of  a  di 
minutive  infant.  "  I  was  an  awful  forred  little  thing ! " 
she  added  fondly.  "  You  ought  to  'a'  heard  me  talk 
politics  when  I  wasn't  more'n  three  years  old,  Colonel. 
I  had  my  opinions  and  talked  like  a  patriarch." 

"  It  must  have  been  interesting  indeed,"  replied  the 
colonel,  "  and  would  certainly  have  been  appreciated 
by  a  Southerner  to  hear  words  of  sympathy  from  the 
lips  of  a  Northern  babe." 

"  That's  just  it,  Colonel.  Even  when  I  was  a  baby, 
a  little  teenty  tonty  baby,  my  eyes  filled  with  tears  at 
the  wrongs  done  you  poor  Southerners;  and  if  you 
live  in  this  house  till  doomsday  (and  I'm  sure  I  hope 
you  will!)  you'll  never  hear  anything  from  me  but 


MISS  TILLIE   COURTS  THE   COLONEL.  41 

words  of  sympathy.  You'll  never  hear  me  crow'n 
over  the  South  for  being  beaten.  My  heart  fairly 
bleeds  for  you  to  think  of  your  losing  so  much.  It 
must  have  been  awful,  dreadful !  I  wonder  it  didn't 
drive  you  crazy."  And,  perceiving  at  last  the  golden 
opportunity  for  finding  out  something  of  the  colonel's 
private  affairs,  she  added,  "  I  s'pose  you  must  'a'  lost 
a  great  many  slaves." 

"  Yes,"  replied  the  colonel,  "  we  were  ruined  by  the 
war.  Even  what  was  left  to  us  after  our  slaves  were 
liberated  we  were  despoiled  of  by  raiders  and  by  camp 
followers  wherever  the  victorious  army  swept  through 
the  land.  The  Northern  people  have  no  conception  of 
what  hardships,  what  losses,  were  entailed  on  the  peo 
ple  of  the  South,  not  only  by  the  army  itself,  but  by 
the  rabble  that  followed  in  its  rear." 

"  O  Colonel,  I  wish  you  would  tell  me  all  about  the 
war  and  all  you  passed  through,  yourself,"  again  cried 
Miss  Tillie,  not  yet  in  despair  of  finding  out  something. 
"  You  don't  know  how  much  interest  I  take  in  any 
thing  about  the  South.  Did  you  ever  see  Jeff  Davis  ?  " 
she  pursued,  to  lead  the  colonel  into  his  biography. 

"  Yes,  I  know  Mr.  Davis  well,"  replied  the  colonel. 

"  Gracious ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  looking  at  him  with 
increased  interest. 

"  A  better,  nobler  man  never  breathed,"  continued 
the  colonel ;  whereat  Miss  Tillie,  in  her  astonishment 
forgetting,  for  the  moment,  her  rebel  affinities,  cried 
out: 

"Why,  I  thought  Jeff  Davis  was  an  awful  bad 
man ! " 

"My  dear  madam,"  returned  the  colonel,  regarding 
her  with  magnanimous  compassion,  "  you  have  been 
shamefully  deluded  by  the  misrepresentations  of  that 
great  and  good  man.  Mr.  Davis  was  a  patriot,  a 


42  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

statesman,  and  a  noble-hearted  Christian  gentleman, 
whom  the  whole  South  reveres." 

"  Oh,  dear  me !  what  is  one  to  believe  ?  "  cried  Miss 
Tillie,  striving  to  regain  the  colonel's  good  opinion. 
"  He  must  'a'  been  an  awful  good  man  of  course,  or  he 
wouldn't  V  been  at  the  head  of  the  rebels.  What  a 
shame  for  people  to  talk  about  him  so,  and  all  the 
papers  calling  him  an  '  arch-traitor '  and  '  Jeff  Davis,' 
and  saying  he  ought  to  be  hung,  and  he  such  a  good 
man ! " 

"  The  time  will  come,  my  dear  madam,  when  the  true 
merits  of  Southern  grievances  will  be  rightly  under 
stood  and  justly  estimated  by  every  intelligent  North 
ern  man  and  woman." 

And  the  colonel  continued  explaining  away  Miss 
Tillie's  Northern  prejudices  till  that  young  lady  was 
satisfied  that  he  was  seeking  to  prepare  her  mind,  in 
advance,  for  spending  the  rest  of  her  days  with  him 
in  the  South — reconciling  all  differences  of  opinion  at 
present  existing  between  herself  and  him  and  the 
Southern  people  amongst  whom  she  was  to  pass  her 
future  life. 

"  But  I  am  afraid  I  am  wearying  you,"  he  said  at 
last. 

"No,  indeed,  you  do  not;  you  do  not,  my  dear,  dear 
Colonel,"  warmly  exclaimed  Miss  Tillie,  gently  placing 
one  white  hand  on  the  colonel's  arm.  "You  don't 
know  how  happy  I  am  to  hear  so  much  about  the  dear, 
dear  Southern  people.  lam  sure  I  shall  love  them! 
You  needn't  be  afraid,  Colonel,  if  I  go  South  to  live, 
that  I'll  ever  get  to  quarreling  with  the  neighbors. 
I'm  a  dyed-in-the-wool  Democrat,  as  I  said,  and  as 
much  of  a  secesh  as  ever  you  were;  and  if  I  ever 
marry,  I'll  marry  a  Southerner,  or  I'll  die  Tillie  Gipps, 
mark  my  words! " 


MISS  TILLIE  COURTS  THE   COLONEL.  43 

"  My  dear  madam,"  returned  the  colonel,  warmly 
clasping1  the  white  hand  that  was  still  hovering  over 
his  coat-sleeve,  "I  fervently  hope  I  may  be  equally 
successful  in  removing1  the  prejudies  of  many  others 
here  at  the  North.  The  whole  country  can  never  be 
reunited  until  we  are  all  of  one  way  of  thinking-  on 
these  subjects." 

"  You  may  well  say  that,  Colonel,"  replied  Miss  Tillie, 
not  a  little  disappointed  at  the  tenor  of  the  colonel's 
speech,  and  that  he  had  relinquished  her  hand  already; 
but  hoping  that  it  was  not  yet  too  late  to  bring  him 
to  the  point,  she  added  quickly :  "  What  more  could  a 
woman  say  than  what  I  have  said,  Colonel,  when  I  say 
that  I  am  resolved  to  marry  a  Southerner  or  die  in 
single  blessedness  ?  "  And  again  the  white  hand  fell 
gently  on  the  colonel's  coat-sleeve. 

"  I  think,"  replied  the  colonel,  "  37ou  could  not  empha 
size  your  sympathies  for  the  South  more  strongly  than 
by  that;  for  man  and  wife  must  be  of  one  mind.  You 
could  not  therefore  more  beautifully  indicate  your 
thorough  adoption  of  Southern  sentiments  than  by 
this  declaration." 

"Colonel,  I  agree  with  you,"  returned  Miss  Tillie. 
"  You  are  right  in  saying  a  man  and  wife  must  think 
alike.  As  the  poet  says, 

'  Two  souls  with  but  a  single  thought,  two  hearts  that  beat  as 
one.' 

You  see  I  have  adopted  all  your  opinions.  I  don't  be 
lieve  you  could  utter  a  single  idea  that  I  wouldn't 
think  right  off  was  all  law  and  gospel.  So  don't  be 
afraid  I  shall  ever  differ  with  you." 

"It  is  most  gratifying  to  me  to  hear  you  say  so, 
madam,"  replied  the  colonel.  "I  believe  I  possess  the 
usual  amount  of  human  egotism ;  and  to  feel  that  my 
opinions  are  adopted  so  readily  is  a  very  short  cut  to 


44  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

my  heart,  I  assure  you,  my  dear  friend/'  and  at  this 
point  the  colonel  clasped  her  hand  again,  adding,  "  I 
beg  you  to  accept '• 

Suddenly  poor  Mrs.  Gipps,  who,  all  this  time,  had 
been  soundly  sleeping  with  her  head  poised  in  an  ex 
cruciating  position  on  the  back  of  the  sofa,  startled  both 
the  colonel  and  the  young  lady,  and  awakened  herself 
by  a  most  unmusical  inspiration  of  the  circumambient 
air,  and  Miss  Tillie,  turning  quickly  toward  her  mother 
as  the  colonel  released  her  hand,  cried  out: 

"  Well !  .  If  here  isn't  poor,  dear  ma,  sound  -asleep ! 
Mamma!  mamma!  wake  up!  wake  up!" 

The  colonel,  having  by  this  time  entirely  forgotten 
what  he  was  about  to  say,  or  indeed  that  he  was  about 
to  say  anything  at  all,  apologized  for  remaining  with 
them  so  late  and  politely  withdrew,  when  Miss  Tillie, 
shaking  her  parent  violently  by  the  shoulder,  cried 
sternly : 

"  You've  done  a  nice  thing  now !  You  can't  expect 
no  man  to  propose  to  a  girl  when  any  person  is  snor 
ing  at  his  elbow  at  that  rate!  If  I  die  an  old  maid, 
it'll  be  all  your  fault!" 

"  Well,  I'm  sorry,  I'm  sure ! "  gasped  the  poor  mother, 
in  consternation  and  scarcely  recovered  from  her  rude 
awakening.  "  What  makes  you  think  he  was  go'n'  to 
propose  ?  " 

"  What  makes  me  think  it ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  indig 
nantly  !  "  There's  no  think  about  it.  I  tell  you  he'd 
just  begun  to  propose." 

"  Did  you  find  out  whether  or  no  he's  married  al 
ready  ? "  interposed  the  crest-fallen  mother. 

"  How  can  he  be  married  already  ?  "  indignantly  de 
manded  Miss  Tillie.  "  What  would  he  be  proposing  to 
me  for  if  he  was  married  a'ready  ?  You  talk  smart! " 

"Well,  I'm   sorry  we  ain't  found  out  anything," 


MISS   TILLIE   COURTS  THE   COLONEL.  45 

muttered  Mrs.  Gipps.  "It  was  a  perfect  outrage, 
their  talking  politics  the  whole  blessed  evening!  I 
thought  they  would  talk  about  things  so  we  could  find 
out  whether  the  colonel  was  married  or  not." 

"Yes,  you  made  out  a  lot,  didn't  you,  asking  Dickel 
here,"  retorted  Miss  Tillie. 

Thus  discussing  their  respective  disappointments 
and  grievances,  the  two  ladies  turned  oat  the  gas  in 
the  parlor  and  hall,  locked  the  front  door,  and  retired 
to  their  room. 

"  It's  no  use  for  you  to  suspect  the  colonel  of  being 
married  a'ready,"  declared  Miss  Tillie,  in  injured  tones. 
"  I  know  he  can't  be  by  the  way  he  acts  toward  me." 
And  recalling  the  colonel's  amiability  in  instructing  her 
in  agriculture  and  politics,  Miss  Tillie  grew  wild  with 
exultation  over  the  progress  of  her  courtship,  and  felt 
confident  of  soon  seeing  cotton  grow  and  of  plucking 
figs  fresli  from  the  trees.  "  I  love  him !  I  love  him 
passionately ! "  she  cried,  "  and  I  don't  care  who  knows 
it!" 

"You  better  wait  till  you  know  how  man}7-  wives 
he's  got,"  interposed  the  unsympathetic  mother. 

"I  don't  care  how  many  wives  he's  got,  so  there!" 
retorted  Miss  Tillie,  recklessly.  "  I  love  him,  and  I'm 
bound  to  marry  him !  I'd  run  away  with  him  to  Jeri 
cho  if  he'd  only  ask  me.  But  I  know  he  can't  be  mar 
ried,"  she  continued  in  melting  tones.  "  Think  how  he 
held  my  hand  to-night!  I  declare  if  I  was  to  find  out 
that  the  colonel  was  a  married  man,  I  would  lose  my 
mind." 

"  I've  seen  you  in  love  the  same  way  before,"  was 
the  mother's  unfeeling  comment. 

"  I'd  like  to  know  when ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  with  as- 
perty. 

"  How  about  that  old  tobacco  merchant,  Mr.  Weeks, 


46  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

who  had  the  second-story  front  four  years  ago  last 
winter  ?  "  sneered  her  mother. 

"I  never  cared  for  that  old  dotard,"  indignantly 
shrieked  Miss  Tillie. 

"How  about  old  Mr.  Goadby,  the  hatter?" 

"Don't  you  dare  twit  me  with  that!  You  know 
well  enough  all  I  cared  about  either  of  those  old 
idiots  was  their  money,"  cried  Miss  Tillie,  sharply.  "  If 
I  marry  the  colonel,  it'll  be  a  genuine  love-match.  I 
love  him !  I  love  him ! "  she  again  cried  passionately. 
"  I  love  him  to  distraction !  I  love  the  very  ground  he 
walks  on!  and  I  know  he  loves  me!  I  don't  see  what 
makes  you  talk  so  discouraging  about  it,"  she  whim 
pered,  wiping  a  tear  from  her  eyes.  "  Don't  you  think 
if  I  marry  a  rich  man  I'll  help  you  pay  off  the  mort 
gage  ?  I  guess  I'd  do  as  much  for  you  as  any  girl 
would  do  for  her  folks." 

"  Did  I  ever  say  you  wouldn't  ?  "  returned  the  mother, 
in  mollified  accents.  "I  know,  of  course,  you'd  do 
what  was  right  like  I  would  by  you.  And  if  my  snor 
ing  kept  the  colonel  from  proposing,"  she  added  hum 
bly,  "  I'm  sure  nobody  could  be  sorrier  about  it  than 
me.  But  I  can't  help  it  now;  an'  if  he  loves  ye  he 
ain't  agoin'  to  be  stopped  by  no  snor'n'.  He'll  find  a 
chance  to  propose  some  time  or  other." 

"  But  there's  nothing  like  striking  when  the  iron's 
hot,"  replied  the  inconsolable  young  lady;  "and  the 
iron  was  hot  then — red  hot.  If  you  hadn't  snored,  I 
bet  I'd  be  engaged  this  minute."  And  Miss  Tillie  burst 
into  tears. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  anxious  not  to  imperil  her  chances  of 
getting  her  mortgage  paid  off,  made  no  further  at 
tempt  at  that  moment  either  to  palliate  her  offence 
or  to  offer  consolation.  But  when  her  daughter's  grief 
had  spent  itself,  she  spoke. 


MISS  TILLIE   COURTS  THE   COLONEL.  47 

"  I  wouldn't  take  on  so,"  she  said  soothingly.  "A 
girl  like  you,  with  your  looks  and  your  ways,  and  such 
a  gift  o'  gab  as  you've  got,  needn't  never  be  afraid  of 
dy'n'  an  old  maid.  You  better  go  to  bed  now  and  try 
and  get  some  sleep.  To-morrow  night  you  can  have 
the  parlor  all  to  yourself;  and  I  wouldn't  wonder  but 
what  the  colonel  will  propose  in  less'n  half  an  hour." 

This  speech  had  the  desired  effect  of  soothing  Miss 
Tillie's  troubles.  She  ceased  repining  and  fell  to  medi 
tating  upon  her  charms  and  their  powers  of  conquest, 
and  upon  the  delights  of  living  down  South.  At  last 
she  arose  and  began  to  look  for  pencil  and  paper. 

"  What  you  go'n'  to  do  now  ?  "  demanded  her  mother, 
in  tender  accents,  from  her  pillow. 

Miss  Tillie  replied  that  she  was  going  to  write  an 
ode  or  else  a  sonnet — she  couldn't  say  now  which  it 
would  be — and  address  it  to  the  colonel,  and  see  if  that 
wouldn't  bring  him  to  the  point  again. 

"  You  better  come  to  bed  and  put  that  gas  out  and 
try  to  save  your  eyesight,"  tenderly  replied  the 
mother.  "  You  can  write  your  pome  to-morrer.  Sett'n' 
up  late  nights  and  spoil'n'  your  looks  ain't  ago'n'  to  help 
you  ketch  a  beau." 

Knowing  that  her  fond  parent  could  never  go  to 
sleep  while  the  gas  was  burning,  Miss  Tillie  greatly 
undervalued  her  mother's  tender  admonitions,  and, 
being  in  no  self-sacrificing  humor,  she  tartly  responded : 

"Let  me  alone!  I'll  do  what  I've  a  mind  to."  And 
she  worked  away  on  her  poem  for  a  long  time,  the 
competition  between  her  pencil  and  her  eraser  being 
about  equal  all  the  way  through;  but  at  last,  beginning 
to  apprehend  congestion  of  the  brain,  she  laid  her 
work  aside,  sopped  her  head  with  water,  and  wearily 
tottered  to  bed. 


48  COL.  JTJDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  GIPPS  FAMILY  RESOLVE  TO  KNOW  THE 
COLONEL'S  SECRETS. 

Miss  TILLIE,  owing1  to  the  shock  of  the  previous 
evening1,  and  to  overtaxing-  her  brain-power  in  the  com 
position  of  her  sonnet,  was  unable  to  rise  next  morn 
ing  in  time  to  help  her  mother  get  breakfast,  although 
she  was  on  time  to  eat  it. 

The  colonel  had  gone  out. 

After  breakfast,  she  followed  her  mother  up-stairs 
to  the  colonel's  room  and  sat  down  in  one  of  the  easy 
chairs ;  and  with  her  long,  bony  arms  folded  in  elegant 
leisure,  she  looked  on,  talking  in  tones  of  subdued  sor 
row  about  that  inopportune  snore,  while  her  mother, 
in  a  contrite,  humble  way,  went  about  doing  up  the 
work. 

"  I  was  hoping  all  the  evening  after  Dickel  left," 
crooned  Miss  Tillie,  mournfully,  "  that  you'd  wake  up 
and  go  off  to  bed ;  but  I  hated  to  tell  you  to,  for  fear 
of  the  colonel's  thinking  I  wanted  to  be  left  alone  with 
him.  But  I  wish  now  I  had ! " 

"I  don't  think  you'd  better  grieve  about  that  no 
more,"  returned  Mrs.  Gipps,  striving  to  appear  sym 
pathetic,  as  she  beat  up  the  colonel's  pillows.  "  If  he 
loves  you " 

"  Well,  he  does  love  me!  "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  sharply. 

"I  don't  have  no  doubt  of  it,  Tillie,"  replied  her 
mother,  with  the  unusual  exhibition  of  maternal  affeo 


THE  COLONEL'S  SECRETS.  49 

tion  that  she  had  made  ever  since  her  generous  daugh 
ter  entered  into  that  engagement  about  the  mortgage. 
"  I  think,  myself,  he  loves  you.  I  was  only  going  to 
say  if  he  does,  he'll  propose;  and  I  bet  he'll  do  it  be 
fore  he  goes  to  bed  to-night/' 

"  I  hope  so,"  rather  dolorously  returned  Miss  Tillie, 
looking  into  the  mirror.  "  He  ain't  very  young  him 
self,  and  I  think  his  front  teeth  are  false.  I'm  going  to 
go  and  dress  right  away.  It's  so  warm  I  wouldn't 
wonder  but  what  he'll  be  back  early." 

But  the  colonel  did  not  return  till  about  half-past 
five;  and  then  he  sought  the  mother — not  the  lovely 
daughter. 

"Mrs.  Gipps,"  he  began,  shaking  hands  with  her, 
for  it  was  the  first  time  they  had  met  that  day,  "  I 
want  to  ask  a  great  favor.  Can  you  trust  me  with 
your  latch-key  for  this  evening  ?  I  will  return  it  with 
out  fail." 

"  I — I  declare !  Why,  where  is  my  key  ?  "  cried  Mrs. 
Gipps.  "  I — I  believe  Tillie's  got  the  ke}r,  colonel,"  she 
stammered. 

Hastening  to  her  daughter,  the  Gipps  family  con 
sulted  together  over  the  situation. 

"  Give  me  the  key ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie;  "  it  belongs  to 
me  to  carry  it  down. 

".I  s'pose  you're  going  to  the  theatre  ?  Hope  you'll 
have  a  pleasant  time,"  she  cried  gayly  as  she  surren 
dered  the  key  to  the  colonel. 

"  Thank  you — thank  you,  madam,  but  I  am  not  going 
anywhere.  I  shall  be  in  by  seven,  or  half  after  at  the 
latest." 

The  colonel's  indiscretion  in  thus  designating  the 
hour  of  his  return  afforded  the  Gipps  party  at  the 
front  window  the  opportunity  of  beholding  his  arrival 
without  undergoing  the  fatigue  of  a  protracted  vigil. 
4 


50  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

Miss  Tillie,  diligent  and  faithful,  was  at  the  window 
first.  Mrs.  Gipps  was,  however,  on  time.  But  the 
colonel  did  not  arrive  till  nearly  half-past  seven,  and 
it  was  already  beginning  to  grow  dark. 

The  blinds  in  the  parlor  were  closed ;  and  the  Gipps 
family,  seated  behind  the  half-open  slats,  beheld  the 
apparition  of  a  hackney  coach  which  rolled  up  before 
the  house  and  stopped.  Then  the  carriage  door  opened 
and  the  fine,  upright  figure  of  the  colonel  appeared ; 
next  he  handed  out  a  tall,  beautifully  proportioned 
lady  in  a  dark  traveling  suit. 

Miss  Gipps  grew  pale  and  nearly  lost  her  breath, 
while  Mrs.  Gipps  was  filled  with  a  compound  emotion 
of  anguish  and  joy — anguish  at  the  prospect  of  losing 
an  opulent  son-in-law,  and  joy — at  discovering  his 
secrets. 

The  colonel,  leaving  the  carriage  at  the  door,  drew 
the  Iad37's  hand  through  his  arm,  ascended  the  steps, 
admitted  himself  with  the  borrowed  latch-key,  and 
passed  up-stairs;  and  the  next  moment  his  footsteps 
were  audible  in  the  room  overhead. 

"Well!  I  do  say!"  burst  at  last  from  Miss  Tillie's 
pallid  lips.  "  If  that  isn't  the  most  bare-faced,  impu 
dent  piece  of  business  I  ever  heard  tell  of!  and  he 
only  last  night  on  the  point  of  proposing  to  me !  Did 
I  ever  see  such  a  fickle  man!  Oh!  I  declare  I  can't 
stand  it!  My  heart  will  burst!" 

"Tillie!  Tillie!"  cried  the  mother  in  alarm,  "do 
calm  yourself!  Do,  for  pity's  sake!  " 

"What  can  he  mean?"  went  on  Miss  Tillie.  "Oh! 
I  shall  go  raving  crazy!  I  declare  I  can't  stand  it! 
That  woman  ought  to  be  ordered  out  of  the  house!" 

"  Don't  go  to  making  a  fuss  yet,  for  heaven's  sake ! " 
pleaded  the  mother,  looking  very  pale  about  the 
mouth  as  she  gazed  into  the  face  of  her  indignant  off- 


THE  COLONEL'S  SECRETS.  51 

spring.  "  It  may  be  his  sister,  for  all  we  know.  You 
always  stuck  to  it  she  was,  if  she's  the  '  dear  Cornelia ' 
one." 

"Well,  if  that's  the  case/'  moaned  the  agonized 
daughter,  "then  it's  all  right.  But  I  don't  believe  it, 
or  why  wouldn't  he  as  lief  we'd  'a'  let  him  in  ?  " 

"Well,  now,  don't  borrer  trouble,"  returned  the 
mother  with  Machiavelian  persuasiveness. 

Miss  Gipps  and  her  mother  passed  the  next  half- 
hour  painfully  listening  for  the  first  sounds  of  the 
colonel's  footsteps  on  the  stairs. 

Miss  Tillie,  pale,  wretched,  indignant,  threw  herself 
into  an  arm-chair,  too  dispirited  to  talk,  and  her  mother 
sank  demurely  into  another  near  by. 

"I  blame  her,  that's  who  I  blame,"  cried  Miss  Tillie, 
at  last.  "  She  ought  to  be  ashamed  o'  herself ! " 

"  I  have  an  idea,"  interposed  Mrs.  Gipps,  thought 
fully  and  with  her  Machiavelian  designs  again.  "I 
have  an  idea  that  that  woman  is  a  Jewess!  She  was 
dressed  real  Jew-like." 

"  Well,"  cried  Miss  Tillie,  seizing  desperately  at  this 
straw  of  comfort,  "  come  to  think  of  it,  I  thought  so 
too;  but  it  was  her  hair  made  me  think  so.  It  was 
curly.  I  could  see  it  at  the  back  of  her  neck." 

"  Well,  then,  she's  a  Jewess,"  responded  the  mother, 
in  tones  of  satisfaction  and  peace,  "  unless,  of  course, 
she's  his  sister." 

The  next  moment  the  front  door  closed;  there  were 
sounds  of  a  carriage  rolling  away  in  the  darkness. 

"  There,  now,  you  see  she  was  only  his  sister,"  cried 
Miss  Tillie,  bursting  into  tears  of  joy. 

"  Or  a  Jewess,"  returned  the  mother,  and  they  has 
tened  to  the  colonel's  room.  "  Look,  look ! "  cried  the 
elder  lady  holding  up  a  telegram  she  had  found  upon 
the  floor  in  the  pantry. 


52  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

Train  failed  to  connect. — Cornelia  Judson.  That 
was  all. 

"You  see  she's  the  very  one  he  wrote  that  letter 
to ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  in  great  excitement.  "  And 
here's  a  hair  here  on  the  burer.  She's  a  Jewess,  sure! 
This  is  reg'ler  Jew  hair." 

Miss  Tillie  squinted  at  the  hair  with  palpitating 
heart  and  bated  breath. 

"  Ain't  it  a  Jew  hair  ?  "  demanded  her  mother,  tri 
umphantly. 

"I— I  don't  know!"  gasped  Miss  Tillie;  "I  think 
perhaps  it  is ! " 

"It  is!"  stoutly  asseverated  the  mother.  "  She's  a 
Jewess,  I  tell  you!  He'll  never  marry  her!  You 
might  know  she's  a  Jewess  by  her  name!  Judson! 
Can't  you  tell  that's  a  Jew  name  ?  " 

Miss  Tillie  could  hardly  make  herself  believe  it;  but, 
in  her  passionate  anxiety  to  think  the  very  worst  pos 
sible  of  her  lover's  stately  companion,  she  feebly  re 
plied,  with  a  ghastly  attempt  at  cheerfulness : 

"  It  seems  to  me  as  if  it  is."  And  after  another  crit 
ical  examination  of  the  hair  she  declared  her  positive 
belief  that  the  woman  was  verily  an  Israelite.  "  There's 
no  knowing  that  Judson's  any  more  her  name  than 
Flushing  is  his.  It  may  be  Frankenstein  or  Oppen- 
heim  for  all  we  know,  though  there  are  Jew  names, 
a  plentj',  like  Judson.  There's  Mendleson,  Aaronson, 
Jacobson,  and  lots." 

But  notwithstanding  the  consolation  derived  from 
these  soothing  reflections,  Miss  Gipps,  clad  in  seer 
sucker,  her  hair  in  disorder,  her  complexion  dyspeptic, 
bilious,  and  unwholesome,  remained  in  her  room  or 
the  kitchen  disconsolate  all  the  next  day,  ruminating 
over  the  philosophy  of  men's  tastes  and  fancies,  pon 
dering  over  the  stability  of  a  man's  infatuation  for  a 


THE  COLONEL'S  SECRETS.  53 

Jewess,  and  comparing1  the  chances  of  an  Israelite 
with  those  of  a  cold,  frigid,  passionless  beauty  of  the 
North. 

The  colonel  remained  away  all  nigiit  and  all  the  fol 
lowing-  day,  returning  late  in  the  evening1  alone. 

Several  days  passed,  and  Miss  Tillie's  recuperative 
energies  had,  in  a  great  measure,  restored  her  cus 
tomary  vivacity  and  hopefulness;  her  wonted  confi 
dence  in  her  cold,  passionless  Northern  beauty  returned 
once  more  in  full  vigor;  she  had  confronted  the  colo 
nel  without  a  trace  of  her  late  anguish  visible  in  her 
lovely  countenance;  and  the  colonel  had  boldly  con 
fronted  Miss  Tillie  without  a  vestige  of  shame  or  guilt 
in  his  open,  candid  face.  He  shook  hands  with  her  every 
morning  as  cordially  as  ever,  and  replied  to  all  her 
greetings  in  the  same  frank,  g-enial  way.  He  had  even 
spent  several  evenings  in  the  parlor  and  resumed  his 
conversations  on  Southern  topics,  relating  episodes  of 
the  war  and  of  the  Reconstruction  period,  and  describ 
ing  the  present  condition  of  the  agricultural  classes — 
subjects  interesting  to  Miss  Tillie,  chiefly  for  the  op 
portunity  afforded  for  seeing  a  little  farther  into  the 
colonel's  own  private  life  and  for  the  opening  she 
found  for  the  remarks  necessary  to  bring1  on  the  crisis. 
But  although  her  mother  had,  every  evening1,  relig 
iously  fallen  asleep  at  half-past  eight,  and,  coming  to 
directly,  had  apologized  and  declared  she  must  g-o  to 
bed,  the  colonel  had  not  yet  proposed. 

Miss  Gipps  was  mystified  but  hopeful,  and  Mrs. 
Gipps  was  mystified  and  despondent. 

"  I  can't  think  for  the  life  o'  me  what  kind  of  a  man 
he  can  be,"  the  mother  would  mutter  from  her  pillow 
when  her  lovely  daughter  brought  to  bed,  each  night, 
her  discouraging  report;  and  she  dreamed  every  night 
that  the  mortgage  would  be  foreclosed  on  the  morrow. 


54  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

"  Well,  all  I  can  say  is,"  Miss  Tillie  would  reply,  "  it's 
plain  he's  going  to  take  his  time;  and  he's  right!" 
she  would  exclaim,  standing  up  loyally  for  her  stal 
wart  lover.  "  He'd  be  an  awful  fool  to  tumble  heels 
over  head  in  love  and  marry  a  girl  without  knowing 
whether  or  no  they  can  agree."  Still  she  would 
moan :  "  I  do  wonder  when  he  will  come  to  the  point." 

She  wTas  pondering  over  this  same  problem  one 
afternoon  and  gazing  listlessly  out  of  the  parlor  win 
dow,  when  the  colonel,  with  a  young  lady  on  his  arm, 
came  in  sight.  He  still  retained  the  borrowed  latch 
key  by  Mrs.  Gipps'  gracious  permission ;  but  then — the 
lock  was  always  turned  and  Miss  Tillie,  as  usual,  al 
ways  opened  the  door. 

He  now  ascended  the  steps  and  applied  the  key. 
The  door  was  locked,  and,  as  usual,  he  rang  the  bell. 

Miss  Gipps  hastened  to  the  door. 

"O  Colonel,  you  really  must  excuse  this  door's 
being  locked,"  she  cried.  "  You  see  ma's  so  timid." 

By  this  time  the  colonel  and  his  companion  had  en 
tered  the  hall,  and  Miss  Gipps  readily  discovered  that 
it  was  not  the  lady  who  had  been  there  on  the  previ 
ous  occasion,  but  quite  a  different  looking  one  alto 
gether. 

She  was  not  so  tall  as  the  other,  but  far  slighter  in 
form,  and  evidently  not  above  seventeen  years  of  age; 
and  Miss  Gipps,  with  one  glance,  could  not  fail  to 
observe  that  she  was  a  remarkably  beautiful  girl. 

Her  hair  was  of  the  palest  golden;  her  eyebrows, 
in  strong  contrast,  were  very  dark;  her  eyes  large, 
deep,  dark  blue,  and  fringed  with  long,  dark,  heavy 
lashes. 

Certainly  this  was  no  Jewess.  Her  complexion  was 
perfectly  fair  and  transparent  and  her  features  strictly 
classic. 


THE  COLONEL'S  SECRETS.  55 

Miss  Gipps  put  on  her  politest  expression  and 
looked  as  if  she  expected  an  introduction,  and  for 
one  instant  the  colonel  betrayed  some  embarrass 
ment.  But,  quickly  recovering  his  self-possession,  he 
bowed  politely  in  acknowledgment  of  Miss  Gipps' 
apology  about  the  key,  and,  turning  to  the  young 
lady,  said  in  an  undertone : 

"  This  way,  dear."    And  they  both  passed  up-stairs. 

Miss  Gipps,  with  offended  dignity  and  outraged 
honor,  re-entered  the  parlor,  where  her  mother,  filled 
with  amazement,  stood  looking  forth. 

"  Well !  if  this  doesn't  beat  all ! "  she  cried.  "  Did  you 
ever  hear  the  like  ?  He  called  her  '  dear '  right  before 
my  very  face !  The  old  rascal !  And  he  old  enough  to 
be  her  father ! " 

While  they  sat  in  agonized  suspense  awaiting  devel 
opments,  their  lodger  and  his  companion  came  down 
stairs  and  passed  quietly  into  the  street.  Hour  after 
hour  went  by  and  he  had  not  returned. 

"  He  can't  expect  us  to  leave  the  door  unlocked  any 
later,"  said  Mrs.  Gipps,  at  last.  "  I'm  going  to  lock  up 
and  go  up-stairs  and  lie  down  in  my  clo'es;  and  when 
they  come  back — that  is,  if  she  does  come  back  with 
him — they'll  see  I  had  a  good  excuse  for  coming  to  the 
door.  I  want  to  see  her.  You  better  go  to  bed. 
You've  seen  her  once." 

Miss  Gipps,  in  the  interest  of  her  cold,  frigid,  North 
ern  beauty  which  it  was  now  so  vitally  important  to 
preserve,  acted  upon  her  mother's  advice;  and  Mrs. 
Gipps  carried  out  her  own  programme  so  far  as  to 
lock  the  front  door  and  go  up-stairs  and  lie  down  in 
her  clothes;  but  nothing  disturbed  her  peaceful  and 
sonorous  slumbers  till  the  milkman  jangled  at  the 
doorbell  the  next  morning;  and  then,  after  responding 
to  this  imperious  summons,  on  looking  into  the  colo- 


56  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

nel's  room,  which  stood  open,  she  found  he  had  not 
been  in  all  night. 

Moreover,  he  remained  away  all  day  and  all  the  fol 
lowing  night;  but  toward  noon  on  the  second  day  the 
bell  rang;  and  Miss  Tillie,  who  answered  the  call,  to 
her  inexpressible  astonishment,  found  that  beautiful 
blonde  young  lady  standing  on  the  steps  alone  with  a 
traveling  satchel. 

The  young  stranger  returned  Miss  Tillie's  confounded 
gaze  with  a  polite  "good  morning "  and  the  informa 
tion  that  she  desired  to  go  up  to  the  colonel's  room  a 
few  moments. 

Miss  Gipps  muttered  "  Certainly  "  with  an  awkward 
bow  and  an  embarrassed  effort  at  a  polite  smile;  for, 
as  she  described  the  scene  to  her  mother  afterward : 

"I  was  just  that  taken  aback  I  couldn't  think 
what  else  to  say,  let  alone  asking  her  what  right  she 
had  to  go  up;  and  whether  or  no  the  colonel  gave 
her  any  authority  to  go  into  his  room  when  he  was 
away." 

"  Which  one  was  it  ?  "  demanded  Mrs.  Gipps,  excit 
edly. 

"  It  was  that  red-headed  girl,"  replied  Miss  Tillie. 

"I'd  give  all  the  world  to  know  what  it  means!" 
cried  Mrs.  Gipps. 

No  human  being  but  those  who  have  been  similarly 
afflicted  with  this  same  species  of  wild,  passionate,  un 
quenchable  curiosity  can  conceive  what  torture  these 
two  poor  women  now  underwent.  They  talked  about 
the  colonel  incessantly,  and  guessed  and  surmised 
and  conjectured  and  wrought  out  first  one  solution  and 
then  another  all  day  and  dreamed  out  frightful  solu 
tions  all  night. 

But  at  last  something  else  happened.  The  colonel 
had  been  missing1  a  week  and  three  days.  It  was  early 


THE  COLONEL'S  SECRETS.  57 

Monday  morning,  and  Mrs.  Gipps  had  gone  to  the 
butcher's  to  buy  half  a  pound  of  liver  for  breakfast. 

Suddenly  the  door-bell  rang. 

Miss  Tillie  hurried  to  the  door,  and,  as  she  reported 
the  story  to  her  mother,  who  should  it  be  bub  "that 
Jew  woman/'  and,  like  the  other,  she  walked  confi 
dently  into  the  house,  saying,  with  all  the  assurance  in 
the  world : 

"  I  wish  to  go  up  to  the  colonel's  room  for  a  few  min 
utes." 

"Now,"  cried  Miss  Tillie,  decisively,  as  soon  as  she 
concluded  her  report  of  the  affair  to  her  astonished 
parent,  "  I  ain't  going  to  stand  this  any  longer;  I'm 
just  going  to  know  what  all  this  means!" 

"  And  so  am  I ! "  echoed  the  mother,  quite  as  deci 
sively.  "  I'm  going  to  find  out  who  and  what  that  wo 
man  is,  if  I  spend  my  last  penny ! " 

They  ate  their  breakfast,  and,  reinvigorated  with 
their  liver  and  bacon,  they  sat  down  and  planned  the 
campaign. 

There  was  one  thing  they  had  borne  constantly  in 
mind :  "  Dear  Cornelia  "  when  she  came  North,  was  to 
stop  over  a  day  "  before  going  to  Fire  Island." 

So  the  colonel  said  in  his  letter. 

Of  course  she  might  not  be  at  Fire  Island  now,  or, 
if  she  was,  the  colonel  might  be  with  the  other  one 
somewhere  else ;  yet  as  that  was  the  only  clue  they 
had,  they  believed  it  vastly  probable  that  he  was 
there;  and  in  view  of  past  economies  they  now  re 
solved  on  a  little  extravagance.  In  short,  they  resolved 
to  go  to  Fire  Island;  and  though,  to  be  sure,  they 
must  spend  a  little  money,  it  would  certainly  be  a  good 
speculation  in  the  end. 

Their  minds  being  unalterably  made  up,  they  set 
away  the  remains  of  the  liver,  put  the  kitchen  in  order 


58  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

and  went  up-stairs  to  pack  their  traveling  satchel  and 
dress  for  the  trip. 

Mrs.  Gipps  wore  her  best  new  bonnet  with  three 
black  ostrich  tips  and  a  little  bird  on  top,  and  her  best 
black  silk  dress  (which  was  the  only  one  she  had),  and 
over  her  arm,  in  case  of  cool  weather,  she  carried  her 
black  dolman  trimmed  with  jet. 

Miss  Gipps  wore  her  Gainsborough  hat  trimmed 
with  a  long  gray  ostrich  plume  and  four  black  tips, 
and  also  her  best  black  silk  dress  (and  likewise  the 
only  one  she  had),  her  amber-hued,  Spanish-lace  fichu, 
and  her  black  lace  dolman. 

One  traveling  satchel  contained  their  joint  outfit  of 
night  apparel,  including  their  best  slippers,  a  hand 
glass,  a  box  of  face  powder,  a  little  saucer  of  rouge,  a 

drinking  cup,  and  a  small  flask  of  w ,  alias 

brandy. 

Everything  being  in  readiness,  they  seated  them 
selves  on  the  edges  of  chairs  in  the  kitchen  with  their 
bonnets  on,  in  mortal  fear  of  damaging  their  best  black 
silk  dresses,  and  ate  the  rest  of  the  liver  and  bacon, 
the  remnants  of  the  breakast  rolls,  and  drank  some 
cold  tea. 

Miss  Tillie  then  affixed  a  card  to  the  bell  handle  ad 
dressed  to  the  colonel  in  case  he  should  be  the  first  to 
return,  saying: 

"You  will  find  the  keys  at  the  drug  store  on  the 
corner." 

This  being  accomplished,  Miss  Tillie  took  the  satchel 
and  Mrs.  Gipps  the  umbrella;  and  the  procession 
moved  off  toward  Sixth  Avenue,  thence  to  Twenty- 
third  street,  where  they  took  the  car  for  the  ferry  to 
Hunter's  Point. 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE   ISLAND.  59 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE  GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE  ISLAND. 

MRS.  GIPPS  was  afraid  they  would  miss  the  train, 
but  Miss  Tillie,  in  her  superior,  well-informed  way,  de 
clared  there  was  a  train  every  few  minutes.  On  arriv 
ing-  at  Hunter's  Point,  however,  they  learned  from  the 
big  policeman  lounging-  near  the  ticket  office  of  the 
Long-  Island  railroad  depot  that  they  were  two  whole 
hours  too  late  for  the  last  train  and  two  hours  and  a 
half  too  early  for  the  next. 

But  they  seated  themselves  in  the  spacious  waiting- 
room  where  crowds  were  surging-  through  or  waiting 
for  one  train  or  another  on  the  various  branches  of  the 
road;  and  by  diligently  observing  other  people's 
clothes,  they  both  contrived  to  pass  the  time  very  hap 
pily,  noting  how  much  better  dressed  they  were  than 
anybody  else,  the  crowd  being  largely  made  up  of 
sweaty-faced  country  girls  in  figured  lawns  and  black 
hats  with  blue  feathers  or  white  hats  with  huge 
bunches  of  fiery  red  cherries;  gaunt-eyed,  haggard- 
looking  farmers'  wives  with  three  or  four  romping 
boys  apiece,  brought  to  town  to  be  fitted  with  ready- 
made  clothes — which  they  could  have  made  themselves 
while  they  were  waiting  for  trains  at  both  ends;  per 
spiring  huckster  women  from  the  truck  farms  of  Long 
Island,  dressed  in  dirty  calico  gowns;  and  sweltering 
summer  boarding-house  keepers,  with  huge  baskets  of 
"fresh  country  vegetables"  from  the  city  markets, 
grocery  stores,  and  canning  establishments. 


60  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

Miss  Tillie  and  her  mamma,  therefore,  were  far  from 
miserable  in  their  very  best  clothes,  as  they  sat  through 
the  two  hours  and  a  half  comparing  themselves  with 
the  common  people  around  them  and  observing  the 
airs  of  deference  with  which  their  stylish  black  silk 
dresses  were  regarded  by  the  simple  country  folk. 
Then  the  big  policeman,  too,  evidently  regarded  them 
as  the  aristocrats  of  the  hour,  sauntering  along  every 
once  in  a  while  as  if  feeling  himself  responsible  for 
their  safetj",  and  giving  them  first  one  new  point  and 
then  another  concerning  their  journey.  They  must 
get  off  at  Babylon,  he  told  them,  and  they  would  have 
to  go  the  rest  of  the  way  by  boat. 

Miss  Tillie  said  yes,  that  was  what  she  was  think 
ing  on  account  of  its  being  an  island;  and  the  police 
man  said  yes,  that  was  the  way  of  it.  By-and-by  he 
wandered  around  their  way  again  (Miss  Tillie  was  be 
ginning  to  think  he  was  certainly  smitten),  and  this 
time  he  told  them  they  didn't  have  to  pay  no  extra 
fare  on  the  boat. 

"  It's  all  included  in  your  railroad  ticket,"  he  said — 
gratifying  news  which  so  pleased  the  Gipps  family  that 
they  simultaneously  bowed  their  thanks  with  the  most 
ostentatious  graciousness  and  cried  out,  "  Thank  you ! 
thank  you! "  in  a  joyful  chorus. 

After  a  while  he  got  round  again,  and  told  them 
they  must  take  the  horse-car  at  Babylon  station  to  go 
to  the  boat  landing.  Then  once  more  he  slowly  jogged 
around  and  carefully  impressed  upon  their  minds  the 
important  fact  that  they  didn't  have  to  pay  no  fare  on 
the  horse-car  neither. 

"  You  can  tell  'em  I  say  so.  You  can  mention  me 
to  'em.  Sometimes  they  try  to  take  advantage  of 
strangers." 

By  this  time  Miss  Gipps  was  beginning  to  be  in  love 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT   FIRE   ISLAND.  61 

with  the  "big  policeman  herself — his  uniform  was  new, 
the  brass  buttons  shiny,  and  he  carried  his  club  with 
a  grace  and  dignity  that  a  marquis  or  a  duke  might 
have  envied;  so  the  next  time  he  got  around  their  way, 
seeing  he  stood  modestly  off  at  a  distance  for  a  mo 
ment,  Miss  Gipps  coquettishly  beckoned  him  to  come 
nearer;  and  then  she  inquired,  in  her  charming  way, 
how  much  the  excursion  fare  was  to  Babylon. 

"  Excursion  tickets  to  Babylon  is  one  fifty,"  confi 
dently  replied  the  policeman,  who  could  never  bear  to 
admit  his  ignorance  on  any  subject;  and  then  he 
added :  "  When  you  get  off  at  Babylon  if  you  don't  see 
the  hoss-car  there,  it'll  be  along  in  time  to  ketch  the 
boat,  and  you  kin  go  into  the  station  and  wait  till  it 
comes.  It  won't  be  long,"  he  added  cheerfully. 

Mrs.  Gipps'  and  Miss  Tillie's  chorus  of  "  Thank  3^ou, 
thank  you "  was  interrupted  by  the  long-looked-for 
raising  of  the  ticket-office  window  on  their  branch  of 
the  road;  and  the  policeman  with  a  grand  air  of  pro 
tection  informed  them  that  now  they  could  get  their 
tickets.  They  went  to  the  window  together,  when, 
oddly  enough,  the  big  policeman  sauntered  off  so  far 
out  of  both  sight  and  hearing  it  was  impossible  to  find 
him  again  when  the  Gipps  family  subsequently  desired 
to  talk  over  the  discrepancies  between  his  side  of  the 
story  and  the  ticket  agent's. 

For  when  they  asked  for  two  excursion  tickets  to 
Babylon  they  found  the  fare  was  two  dollars ! 

Mrs.  Gipps  turned  quite  pale  as  she  passed  in  the 
price  of  two  tickets;  her  lip  quivered,  and  her  hand 
trembled,  for  it  was  enough  to  keep  them  in  liver  all 
summer.  Miss  Tillie,  who,  from  the  beginning,  had 
maintained,  despite  what  her  admirer,  the  policeman, 
said,  that  the  fare  to  Fire  Island  and  back  was  only 
seventy-five  cents,  anticipating  her  mother's  fierce  re- 


62  COL.  JUDSOJST  OF  ALABAMA. 

preaches,  hurried  out  of  the  crowd  at  the  ticket-office 
window  and  passed  quickly  through  the  gateway  to 
the  train,  keeping1  so  far  ahead  all  the  way  as  to  give 
her  mother  ample  time  to  reflect  and  calm  down;  and 
Mrs.  Gipps,  by  the  time  she  overtook  her  daughter, 
was  undoubtedly  determined  that  the  colonel,  in  one 
way  or  another,  should  foot  the  whole  bill. 

"  I  just  happened  to  think  of  something,"  whispered 
Miss  Tillie,  artfully,  to  her  mother,  to  start  a  different 
subject  from  the  one  she  felt  was  preying  on  her 
parent's  mind.  "  This  is  Austin  Corbin's  road,"  she 
said,  looking  at  the  time-table.  "Corbin,  he  don't 
allow  Jews  on  his  road;  so  I  don't  see  how  she  could 
V  got  to  Fire  Island." 

"What  you  talking  'bout!"  snappishly  cried  her 
mother;  for  she  had  not  recovered  her  temper  quite 
yet.  Four  dollars  were  not  so  easily  forgotten.  "  It 
ain't  Fire  Island,  it's  Coney  Island  where  they  don't 
allow  no  Jews.  What's  Corbin  got  to  do  with  Fire 
Island?" 

"  But  don't  I  tell  you  this  is  Corbin's  road  ?  He  don't 
allow  Jews  to  travel  on  this  road  nowhere,  I  tell  you." 

"  Then  what  have  we  been  paying  out  four  dollars  to 
go  to  Fire  Island  for  if  they  ain't  there?"  demanded 
Mrs.  Gipps,  savagely. 

"  I  don't  say  she  ain't  there,  positively,"  quickly  re 
plied  Miss  Tillie,  seeing  her  error.  "  With  that  veil 
over  her  face,  how's  anybody  to  see  she's  a  Jew  ? 
Well,  any  way,  we're  off  now,"  she  added  with  deep  re 
lief,  as  the  train  moved  out  of  the  depot.  "  Gracious 
heavens!  What  a  horrible  smell!  Conductor!"  she 
shouted  to  that  official  who  was  now  taking  up  the 
tickets,  "why  doesn't  this  train  go  faster  through 
this  awful  place?  You  ought  to  go  sixty  miles  an 
hour  here,  and  you  ain't  going  five." 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE   ISLAND.  63 

"There's  another  train  ahead  of  me,"  replied  the 
conductor,  apologetically. 

"That's  no  matter!"  smartly  retorted  Miss  Tillie. 
"I'd  rather  be  killed  than  smell  such  smells.  You 
hurry  this  train  along-.  There's  one  thing  about  me," 
she  shrieked  in  her  mother's  ear,  as  the  conductor 
passed  along-,  "wherever  I  go,  people  always  look  at 
me,  and  look,  and  look.  See  that  gentleman  over 
there,  now,  looking  at  me ! " 

"  Well,  don't  holler  so  loud,  then,"  replied  her  mother, 
peevishly.  "  I  don't  see  how  you  came  to  make  such  a 
mistake  about  the  fare,"  she  added  crabbedly. 

"  Well,  now,  what's  gone's  gone,"  returned  Miss 
Tillie,  philosophically.  "  Once  we  are  married,  I  guess 
I  know  how  a  Southerner  like  the  colonel  will  lavish 
his  money  on  me.  I  bet  you'll  find  this  the  best  specu 
lation  you  ever  made;  I  want  you  to  understand  I 
ain't  forgotten  how  near  he  was  to  proposing  that 
night;  and  I  guess  I  ain't  forgotten  yet  what  he  said 
in  that  letter  about  me  possessing  all  the  usual  traits 
of  cold,  passionless,  Northern  beauty;  though  mebbe 
you've  forgotten  it  by  this  time,"  she  added,  with  an 
aggrieved  air. 

"  No  I  ain't  forgotten  it,"  quickly  replied  the  mother, 
apologetically. 

"  Well,  I  should  think  3rou  had,"  returned  the  daugh 
ter,  haughtily.  "  But  you  can  just  go  on  and  forget  it 
as  much  as  you  like;  but  I  never  will,  never!  and  as  I 
said  before,  I  know  my  chances  are  as  good  as  any 
body's." 

"Well,  I  didn't  say  they  wasn't,"  returned  the 
mother,  humbly. 

"  I  should  think  you  meant  so  by  the  way  you  were 
jaw'n'  about  the  fare,"  returned  Miss  Tillie,  relentlessly 
following  up  the  advantage  she  had  gained.  "  I  guess 


64  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

if  I  marry  a  rich  man,  I'll  do  as  much  for  my  folks 
as  any  other  girl." 

"  Well,  now,  did  I  say  you  wouldn't  ?  "  returned  the 
mother,  obsequiously.  "  I  don't  know  as  four  dollars  is 
anything  out  the  way  for  such  a  pleasant  trip  as  this," 
she  said,  with  her  handkerchief  at  her  nose  as  they 
slowly,  slowly  traveled  along  past  the  soap  factories 
and  rendering  establishments  of  Hunter's  Point. 
"  Anyhow,  too  much  or  no,"  she  added,  "  it  won't  break 
me;  so  hush  up  about  that."  And  hastily  changing  the 
subject,  she  looked  out  of  the  window,  saying,  "The 
scenery's  beautiful,  isn't  it  ?  " 

"Should  think  it  was!"  sneered  Miss  Tillie. 

Finding  her  aesthetic  daughter  so  hard  to  please, 
Mrs.  Gipps  discreetly  kept  quiet  till  the  scene  began  to 
improve,  when  she  made  another  attempt.  "My!  I 
don't  know  how  anybody  can  stand  it  to  live  in  the 
country ! "  she  exclaimed,  looking  drearily  forth  upon 
the  swift-flying  panorama  of  rich  meadow  and  culti 
vated  fields  of  variegated  green,  of  isolated  farm 
houses,  woods,  and  shady  groves. 

"  I  can't  bear  the  sight  of  such  a  lot  of  ground  with 
no  houses  on  it.  I  tell  you  what,  I  wish  I  owned  about 
fifty  acres  of  this  land  on  Fifth  Avenue.  I'd  never  eat 
no  more  red  herrin'  nor  codfish  nor  no  more  liver, 
I  can  tell  ye.  But  I'd  be  satisfied,"  she  added  quickly, 
"  if  the  mortgage  was  paid  off  and  the  interest  and  the 
taxes." 

"I  never  said  anything  about  int'rest  and  taxes," 
cried  Miss  Tillie,  haughtily.  "  You  couldn't  expect  no 
man  to  go  that  far — all  at  once,  anyhow." 

"  Of  course  not !  I  never  said  he  would ! "  replied  the 
mother,  humbly.  "  I  guess  I'd  be  grateful  to  have  the 
mortgage  paid  off." 

"After  a  while  we  might  talk  about  interest  and 


THE  GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE  ISLAND.  65 

taxes/'  returned  Miss  Tillie,  graciously.  "  But  a  wo 
man  must  get  a  man  completely  under  her  thumb  be 
fore  she  can  do  that  much  for  her  poor  relations.  I 
know  he's  open-handed  now;  but  there's  no  knowing 
what  he'll  be  once  we  are  married.  For  my  part/'  she 
continued,  "I'll  be  rejoiced  to  have  a  good  comfortable 
home  and  porter-house  steak  instead  of  liver  and  bacon, 
and  I'll  be  rejoiced  to  have  a  man's  good  long  purse  to 
go  to  when  I  want  something  to  wear." 

"  Well,  as  for  me,"  said  Mrs.  Gipps,  "  I'll  be  thankful 
to  have  the  mortgage  paid  off,  and  I'll  be  glad  to  think 
you're  settled  for  life  and  done  so  well.  I  'spect  you'll 
have  a  bank  account  of  your  own ;  don't  you  'spect  so  ?  " 

"  Yes,  I  'spect  so,"  and  Miss  Tillie  looked  around 
upon  the  other  passengers  with  airs  of  opulent  gran 
deur.  "  F  spect  I'll  give  away  all  the  clo'es  I've  got  now 
to  the  Little  Sisters  of  the  Poor." 

"  I  'speck,"  added  the  mother,  "  you'll  have  so  many 
dresses  you  won't  hardly  know  which  one  to  put  on 
when  you  go  anywhere." 

"  I  'spect  so,"  confidently  returned  Miss  Tillie.  "  I 
know  one  thing  I'm  go'n'  to  have  right  straight  off," 
she  cried  with  determination,  "  and  that's  a  black  vel 
vet  dress,  cut  gabrielle,  with  a  long  train." 

Thus  reveling  in  advance  in  the  pecuniary  bliss  in 
store  for  them,  the  Gipps  family  reached  Babylon  be 
fore  they  knew  it.  Here  they  left  the  train  with  great 
precipitation,  neither  of  them  having  heard  the  sta 
tion  called  out,  their  first  intimation  of  their  arrival 
being  derived  from  the  brakeman,  who,  rushing  into 
the  car  with  a  fearful  scowl,  demanded,  in  a  ruffianly 
voice,  to  know  whether  they  were  going  to  get  out  or 
not. 

Miss  Gipps,  with  some  difficulty  recognizing  in  his 
passion-distorted  features  the  dull,  placid  fellow  to 
5 


66  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

whom  she  had  committed  herself  some  time  back,  in 
stantly  seized  up  the  satchel,  shrieking1,  "  Come,  ma ! " 
while  Mrs.  Gipps,  in  consternation,  snatched  her  para 
sol  and  dolman  and  sped  out  of  the  car,  leaving  the 
umbrella  in  the  rack  over  the  seat;  and  the  train 
rushed  on. 

"  Well,  the  hoss  car  ain't  here,  that's  cert'n,"  cried 
the  Gipps  family,  carefully  sweeping  the  horizon, 
neither  as  yet  having  discovered  the  loss  of  their 
valued  parachute. 

They  now  learned  from  the  station  agent  that  they 
might  as  well  have  come  by  the  4 :  30  train  as  the  3 : 30, 
the  former  being  the  express  and  patronized  by  all  the 
aristocracy;  and  no  horse-car  would  appear  till  the 
arrival  of  that  train,  thirty-five  minutes  later.  By 
that  time  a  large  number  of  magnificent  equipages, 
with  fine,  handsome  horses,  surrounded  the  picturesque 
little  country  station;  and  presently  a  great,  ungainly, 
dilapidated  horse-car,  looking  as  though  it  might  have 
been  the  original  experiment  of  some  clumsy  inventor, 
came  lumbering  up.  On  the  arrival  of  the  express,  a 
large  number  of  opulent-looking  gentlemen,  the  sum 
mer  residents  of  Babylon  or  guests  for  Fire  Island, 
poured  out  of  the  cars  and  took  their  seats  in  the  hand 
some  vehicles  in  waiting.  The  scene  was  brilliant, 
wealthy,  and  aristocratic.  The  smaller  vehicles,  phae 
tons,  drags,  and  dog-carts  were  mostly  driven  by  richly, 
beautifully  dressed  ladies,  who  handled  the  reins  with 
dexterity  and  pride,  the  larger  by  coachmen  in  livery; 
and  footmen  in  yellow  gloves  and  glittering  buttons 
were  seated  in  consequential  magnificence  in  their 
places. 

The  awkward,  lumbering  old  horsecar,  with  its 
panting,  wretched,  bare-boned  horses,  was  the  only 
blot  on  the  fair  scene  of  elegance  and  luxury. 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY  AT   FIRE   ISLAND.  67 

To  Miss  Tillie  and  her  mother  it  was  the  most  har 
rowing-  moment  of  their  lives;  and  when  the  station 
agent  came  and  told  them  officiously  that  this  was  the 
car  for  which  they  had  been  inquiring1,  they  haughtily 
replied  that  they  would  like  to  see  themselves  going 
anywhere  in  that  crazy  old  thing-.  The  station  agent 
stepped  back  quite  crest -fallen.  The  conductor  of  the 
car,  however,  kept  on  persistently  shouting,  "This 
way  for  Fire  Island !  "  and  the  Gipps  family  were  in  a 
sad  dilemma.  Elegant  equipages  and  their  fashiona 
ble  occupants  still  completely  surrounded  the  station; 
but,  perceiving  that  several  well-dressed  gentlemen 
were  taking  seats  in  the  car,  and  that  even  some  three 
or  four  ladies  had  entered  as  well  as  a  number  of  coun 
try  people  with  market  baskets,  the  Gipps  family  at 
last  condescended  to  follow. 

The  inside  of  the  car  was  no  better  than  the  outside. 
The  bottom  of  the  windows  was  just  on  a  level  with 
the  tops  of  most  people's  heads.  There  were  no  cush 
ions  whatever,  and  when  the  car  started  the  windows 
rattled  and  jingled,  and  the  car  shook  and  rumbled 
on  the  rails  as  if  it  were  off  the  track. 

Speech  was  impossible — the  tongue  was  safer  within 
the  teeth.  The  passengers  turned  pale  and  blue  and 
looked  in  agony  from  one  to  another;  not  a  sound 
could  be  heard  within  or  without  above  the  din  of  the  car. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  quite  pallid  with  the  shaking-up  she  was 
getting,  was  just  striving  to  console  herself  for  her 
sufferings  with  the  reflection  that  it  was  a  free  ride, 
when  she  perceived  the  conductor  taking  up  the  fare. 
Remonstrance  was  out  of  the  question  in  such  a  pan 
demonium;  every  one  else  was  paying  without  a  mur 
mur  or  protest;  and  when  her  own  turn  came  she 
handed  up  a  quarter  and  awaited  her  change  like  a 
martyr,  or  the  victim  of  a  highway  robber  with  a 


68  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

pistol  at  his  head;  but  all  she  ever  saw  of  her  precious 
coin  again  was  just  half  a  dime,  which  she  put  into  her 
pocket  in  helpless  indignation. 

Meanwhile  Miss  Tillie,  as  well  as  she  was  able,  was 
striving  to  get  her  money's  worth  by  making  observa 
tions  on  the  town  they  were  passing  through. 

There  were  fine  large  cottages  on  each  side  of  the 
broad  highway,  with  magnificently  cultivated  grounds 
around;  and  every  now  and  then  some  elegant  car 
riage  rolled  unheard  past  the  thunderous  old  car — the 
only  one  the  road  possessed  (another  just  like  it  would 
have  produced  earthquake  shocks  in  "Babylon  and 
shattered  the  whole  town !). 

It  was  just  6 : 15  when  they  arrived  at  the  boat-land 
ing.  Other  passengers  who  had  driven  thither  by 
more  comfortable  and  beautiful  conveyances  had  al 
ready  boarded  the  little  steamer  and  were  now  seated 
on  the  upper  deck. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  went  timidly  and  dis 
trustfully  on  board,  climbed  over  a  huge  steam-pipe, 
and,  in  wonderment  that  such  a  dingy,  inconvenient 
old  boat  should  possess  wealthy  patronage,  they 
climbed  up  a  flight  of  very  narrow,  very  steep  stairs, 
the  top  of  which,  at  that  moment,  was  inclined  over 
the  base  at  an  angle  of  about  eighty-five  degrees. 

As  .they  reached  the  upper  deck  the  boat  started. 
No  sooner  did  they  emerge  into  the  open  air  than  Miss 
Tillie's  Gainsborough  hat  and  Mrs.  Gipps'  bonnet  were 
seized  by  a  furious  gale  and  nearly  torn  off,  while  their 
best  black  silk  dresses  threatened  to  blow  all  to  rib 
bons.  Miss  Tillie,  holding  fast  to  her  hat  with  one 
hand  and  to  her  clothes  with  the  other,  looked  to  see 
if  the  other  people  were  going  below;  while  her  mother 
recklessly  declared  she  didn't  care  what  anybody  else 
did,  and  insisted  on  going  down  into  the  cabin, 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE   ISLAND.  69 

At  this  moment,  to  the  good  woman's  horror,  she 
beheld  a  man  collecting1  fares;  and,  after  the  episode  on 
the  horsecar,  she  knew  what  value  to  place  upon  the 
information  given  by  the  policeman  in  the  depot  at 
Long  Island  City,  so  she  quickly  turned  about  and 
sought  refuge  behow,  whither  she  was  soon  followed 
by  Miss  Tillie  who  reported  that  the  man  was  coming 
and  that  the  fare  was  a  dollar  apiece. 

"  But,"  she  added  soothingty,  "  they  only  charge  for 
the  one  trip.  It's  a  dollar  to  go  over,  but  coming  back 
it's  free ! "  a  fallacy  having  its  origin  in  the  fact  that 
the  captain  collected  the  fare  for  the  round  trip  on  the 
outward  passage,  and,  there  being  no  other  means  of 
reaching  the  island  or  getting  away  therefrom  except 
by  swimming  the  Great  South  Bay,  tickets  were  un 
necessary  and  were  not  used. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  however,  in  delight  that  something  was 
free  after  all,  and  that  the  information  was  authentic, 
being  derived  from  the  captain  himself,  took  out  her 
pocket-book  and  handed  up  the  fares  with  a  degree  of 
cheerfulness  which  astonished  Miss  Tillie  and  gave  her 
that  dangerous  feeling  of  opulence  which  so  fatally 
held  possession  of  her  the  greater  part  of  the  time  dur 
ing  the  remainder  of  the  trip. 

No  sooner  had  Mrs.  Gipps  paid  the  fares  than  she 
began  to  feel  chilly,  the  combined  effects  of  parting 
with  her  money  and  of  the  heavy  damp  air  rolling  in 
at  the  little  cabin  windows;  by  the  aid  of  the  dim, 
smoky  lamp  which  the  man  lighted  to  see  to  collect 
his  fares,  she  put  on  her  dolman;  and  then  it  was,  feel 
ing  her  freedom  from  luggage,  that  she  first  discovered 
that  she  had  lost  something. 

"  Where's  the  umbrella  ? "  she  shrieked. 

"I  didn't  carry  the  umbrella;  you  carried  that!"  re 
turned  Miss  Tillie.  "  I've  got  the  satchel," 


70  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  Then  it's  left  somewheres,"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  in  an 
guish  and  dismay.  Tracing1  back  her  steps  and  all  her 
sensations  as  far  as  Babylon,  it  was  clear  that  she  had 
left  it  on  the  train;  and  it  was  a  brown  silk  umbrella 
and  cost  twelve  dollars — originally — Mrs.  Gipps  having 
inherited  it  from  a  former  lodger  who  had  gone  off  and 
forgotten  it  and  never  came  back,  thougii  he  tele 
graphed. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  thinking1  of  this  latter  event  in  the  his 
tory  of  the  lost  umbrella,  murmured  with  a  troubled 
face: 

"  I  doubt  if  I  ever  lay  eyes  on  that  umbrella  again, 
but  I  shall  have  to  telegraph  to  somebody  or  other,  if 
I  only  knew  who  to;  and  there's  more  money  out  of 
pocket." 

They  were  the  sole  occupants  of  the  dingy  little 
cabin,  and  Miss  Tillie  felt  that  it  was  not  fashionable 
to  stay  down  there ;  her  mother  was  morose  and  in 
disposed  to  converse;  it  was  nearly  dark  and  nothing 
to  be  seen  from  the  cabin  window  but  the  lights  on 
the  Long  Island  shore,  and  she  was  restive  and  ill  at 
ease. 

"I  don't  like  being  down  here,"  she  murmured. 
"This  is  a  horrid  hole,  and  you  see,  yourself,  nobody 
that  is  anybody  will  stay  in  this  beastly  little  den. 
What's  the  use  for  you  to  mope  and  fret  about  that 
umbrella!  I  guess  if  I  marry  a  rich  man,  we  are 
neither  one  of  us  going  to  be  pinched  for  the  money  to 
buy  umbrellas.  Come,  less  go  back  up-stairs.  I'd 
rather  be  blown  to  shoestrings  than  not  do  like  other 
folks.  All  those  people  must  be  wealthy,  for  there's 
only  one  hotel  on  Fire  Island,  and  I  wouldn't  wonder 
but  what  they  charge  as  much  as  t.wo  dollars  and  a 
half  a  day." 

Mrs.  Gipps  disliked  to  be  out  of  fashion  herself,  and, 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE  ISLAND.  71 

yielding  readily  to  her  daughter's  persuasions,  they 
returned  to  the  upper  deck. 

The  wind  was  still  blowing  hard,  but  a  broad  band 
of  moonlight  streamed  across  the  deep,  tumultuous 
waters  of  the  baj',  compensating  all  lovers  of  the  beau 
tiful  in  nature  for  the  trouble  of  struggling  for  the 
possession  of  one's  hat  or  bonnet.  The  Gipps  family, 
however,  quite  insensible  to  moonlight  on  land  or 
water,  seated  themselves  uncomfortably  on  the  back 
less  stools,  and,  holding  fast  to  their  bonnets  every 
minute  till  the  boat  reached  the  island,  sat  wondering 
how  people  could  endure  the  damp,  cold  wind,  which 
chilled  them  to  the  marrow. 

It  was  so  dark  when  the  boat  stopped  it  was  diffi 
cult  to  see  the  way  across  the  gang-plank ;  but  a  row 
of  lamps  all  the  way  from  the  landing  to  the  hotel 
lighted  up  their  footsteps  to  the  door,  a  distance  of 
some  two  hundred  yards. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  followed  the  crowd  and 
entered  the  hotel — a  vast,  irregular  frame  building 
completely  surrounded  by  deep,  loose  sand. 

The  guests,  promenading  the  piazzas  and  halls  or 
seated  in  the  parlor,  flocked  to  inspect  the  new  arrivals, 
this  being  one  of  the  leading  diversions  of  the  isolated 
resort,  and  the  Gipps  family  inspected  the  inspec 
tors;  but  neither  the  colonel  nor  the  Jewess  was  any 
where  to  be  seen. 

They  registered  their  names,  were  presented  with  a 
key,  and  followed  an  old  man  in  his  shirt  sleeves  up 
stairs. 

Here  there  were  more  guests  moving  around,  and  the 
Gipps  party  again  looked  for  the  colonel,  but  again  he 
was  nowhere  about. 

The  old  man  who  had  conducted  them  up-stairs,  and 
who  had  forgotten  to  relieve  them  of  their  satchel  (and 


!T2  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

who,  poor  old  soul!  had  they  delivered  it  into  his  keep 
ing  would  have  taken  it  for  a  gift),  lighted  a  tallow 
candle  which  stood  in  a  tin  candlestick  on  the  bureau, 
told  them  supper  was  ready,  and  left  them. 

"  What  a  horrid  hole ! "  cried  both  the  ladies,  in  an 
indignant  and  astonished  chorus.  "Not  a  drop  of 
water!  Only  one  chair!  What  a  hard  bed!  And 
smells  musty,  too !  How  perfectly  awful ! " 

These  were  their  exclamations  as  they  looked  about 
the  room  and  inspected  its  appointments  and  disap 
pointments,  and,  indeed,  they  did  seem  to  be,  in  some 
measure,  getting  their  pay  in  kind  for  their  barbarity 
to  their  own  lodgers ;  for  not  only  was  there  but  one 
chair  and  a  very  hard,  musty  bed  without  springs, 
but  there  was  nothing  on  the  floor  but  a  straw  mat 
ting.  The  furniture,  which  was  a  yellow  cottage  suit 
of  the  cheapest  kind,  consisted  solely  of  a  bedstead,  a 
small  bureau,  a  tepoy  table,  and  a  washstand.  There 
was  no  wardrobe,  and  only  four  hooks  on  the  wall  for 
the  accommodation  of  a  lady's  entire  wearing  apparel. 
The  room  was  about  seven  by  eleven  and  contained  one 
window ;  but  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  consoled  them 
selves  for  the  extreme  poverty  of  the  room  with  the 
reflection  that  the  terms  must  be  low. 

"  I  don't  see  how  they  could  have  the  impudence  to 
charge  over  a  dollar  and  a  half  a  day,"  whispered  Miss 
Tillie  (for  the  transom  was  open).  "  Funny,  though," 
she  added,  "so  many  rich  people  would  come  here! 
Those  I  saw  were  dressed  to  kill — velvets,  silks,  and 
diamonds.  I  saw  several  Jews.  For  all  we  could  tell, 
she  might  V  been  among  them.  Well!  I  never 
longed  to  have  money  like  I  did  when  I  looked  around 
that  rich  crowd !  Plague  take  it !  I'm  as  good  as  they 
are  and  it  makes  me  mad  to  think  this  is  the  only 
decent  dress  I've  got  to  my  back !  I  know  one  thing 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY  AT  FIRE   ISLAND.  73 

about  it — I'll  never  give  up  this  chase  for  the  colonel 
till  I  find  him.  If  he  ain't  here,  it's  quite  likely  they 
can  tell  us  where  he's  gone." 

"  I  haven't  given  up  hoping  he's  here,"  returned  Mrs. 
Gipps.  "  This  would  be  the  best  place  in  the  world  to 
bring  him  to  the  point.  You  could  go  into  the  surf 
with  him  to-morrow  and  all  but  make  him  hold  you  all 
the  while." 

"  That's  so ! "  rejoined  Miss  Tillie,  delightedly,  as  she 
picked  out  her  crimps  before  the  mirror  and  surveyed 
herself  with  complacency.  "I'll  pretend  I'm  almost 
drowned  and  throw  my  arms  around  his  neck — the 
darling!  I  don't  think  a  better  place  for  bringing  a 
man  to  the  point  could  be  found  than  this.  We'll  go 
up  the  lighthouse,  too,  and  I'll  let  on  to  be  ready  to 
drop  climbing  up  the  stairs;  and  he'll  have  to  put  his 
arm  around  me  to  hold  me  up;  then  I'll  drop  my  head 
on  his  breast,  and,  my  gracious !  see  if  he  doesn't  pro 
pose  then !  Oh !  this  is  an  elegant  place !  Now,  ma, 
don't  you  go  to  making  a  fuss  if  you  find  out  they 
charge  more  here  than  you  expect.  I'll  make  it  all  up 
to  you,  ma;  indeed  I  will." 

"Tillie,"  returned  the  mother,  thinking  of  the -mort 
gage  every  minute,  "  I'll  sacrifice  everything  to  see  you 
happy!  I  don't  care  if  it  beggars  me,  I'll  see  you 
through.  These  places  are  awful  extortionate,  but 
you  won't  hear  one  whimper  out  of  my  head  even  if 
they  charge  us  two  dollars  a  day;  no,  not  even  if  they 
charge  two  and  a  half!" 

"Now,  ma,  that's  good  of  you!"  cried  Miss  Tillie, 
in  her  most  dulcet  tones.  "I'm  glad  you  talk  that 
way.  It's  sensible,  and  gives  me  the  heart  to  go  on; 
you'll  find  this  is  a  good  speculation,  ma.  Nothing 
venture,  nothing  win." 

"  That's  so,"  returned  the  fond  mother.    "  But  that 


74  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

ain't  why  I  feel  as  I  do,  Tillie.  I  know  you  love  the 
colonel,  and  I  know  it'll  be  a  good  match  for  you. 
Come,  dear,  less  go  down  to  supper  before  everything's 
eat  up.  Ain't  you  most  ready  ?  " 

"  Yes,  ma,"  cooed  Miss  Tillie,  lovingly,  and  they  blew 
out  their  tallow  candle  and  passed  out  into  the  hall 
and  down  into  the  dining-room,  a  vast,  dimly  lighted 
room,  where,  as  it  was  now  after  eight  o'clock,  there 
was  no  one  but  the  late  arrivals  by  the  boat. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  called  for  a  steak,  some 
Saratoga  chips,  and  toast  and  tea,  and  they  both  pro 
nounced  the  meal  very  fair  "for  such  a  place  as  this!" 

"You  couldn't  expect  anything  better  in  such  a 
hole,"  said  Miss  Tillie,  devouring  her  supper  raven 
ously. 

Immediately  on  leaving  the  dining-room  they  re 
turned  to  the  office  to  examine  the  register  in  quest  of 
the  colonel. 

After  turning  several  pages,  Miss  Tillie  exclaimed  in 
an  excited  whisper  in  her  mother's  ear: 

"  Look  1  look !  See  what  I've  found !  '  Mrs.  Flushing, 
Eatonton,  Ala.,  room  8';  and  it's  his  handwriting! 
Now,  where's  his  name  ?  " 

She  looked  all  the  way  down  the  page  and  then 
turned  it,  and  the  next,  and  the  next,  when,  near  the 
foot,  some  two  or  three  days  later,  she  found  the  entry 
in  the  same  handwriting : 

"Col.  Flushing,  Eatonton,  Ala.;  room  8." 

"  Is  it  possible  he's  been  here  and  gone ! "  exclaimed 
the  Gipps  family  in  an  excited  chorus.  "  Less  us  ask 
the  clerk  if  he's  here  yet." 

But  no!  they  had  gone.!  The  gentleman  had  met 
with  an  accident  in  the  surf  in  the  effort  to  rescue  a 
lady  from  drowning  and  was  laid  up  there  for  several 
days — and  hence  the  mysterious  visits  of  the  two  ladies 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY  AT   FIRE   ISLAND.  75 

to  his  room  in  the  city  for  his  baggage — but  he  had  left 
that  morning  for  the  Catskills. 

Hearing  this,  the  Gipps  family  unanimously  desired 
to  know  what  time  they  could  get  away  from  the 
island  the  next  day,  and  the  clerk  replied  that  they 
could  go  at  3 : 30  in  the  afternoon. 

Swarms  of  other  guests  were  thronging  around  ask 
ing  questions  or  making  observations,  and  the  clerk, 
turning  to  one  and  another,  soon  forget  the  anxious 
party  asking  about  the  colonel;  and  Mrs.  Gipps  and 
Miss  Tillie  slunk  away  and  went  out  to  walk  on  the 
piazza  and  take  counsel  together  as  to  what  they 
should  do  next. 

"  I  tell  you  how  I  feel ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie;  "  I  feel  like 
going  to  the  Catskills ! " 

"  I  feel  the  same  way/'  responded  the  mother.  "  Here 
we've  been  and  spent  all  this  money  and  ain't  made 
anything  by  it  yet.  The  colonel'  must  be  a  mighty 
fickle  man ! .  But,  as  you  say,  if  you  are  only  on  hand 
your  chances  are  as  good  as  anybody's.  We'd  be  only 
so  much  money  out  of  pocket  if  we  gave  up  now;  and 
I  feel  as  if  it  was  my  duty  to  see  you  through." 

"That's  right,  ma!  You  talk  real  sensible  about 
this.  It  would  be  a  shame  to  spend  all  this  money  and 
then  give  up.  Now  stand  by  me,  ma,  and  you'll  never 
repent." 

"  It's  a  bargain,  then,  we'll  go,"  returned  the  good 
mother.  "  I  know  your  word  is  as  good  as  your  bond; 
and  you'll  repay  me  for  all  my  sacrifices." 

"  Yes,  ma,"  returned  Miss  Tillie,  "  you  know  me  like 
a  book." 

The  matter  being  decided,  they  strolled  down  the 
board  walk  leading  to  a  long  row  of  cottages  belong 
ing  to  the  hotel  and  occupied  by  guests,  and  looked 
dully  and  sleepily  upon  the  scene.  The  famous  harbor 


76  COL.  JUDSON  Of1  ALABAMA. 

light,  a  short  distance  from  the  hotel,  threw  a  weird, 
unearthly  glare  over  the  lonely,  barren  waste  of  sand — 
weird  and  unearthly  enough  to  arouse  the  most  super 
stitious  awe;  but  neither  Mrs.  Gipps  nor  Miss  Tillie 
was  sufficiently  impressionable  to  feel  any  such  subtle 
influence.  Their  souls  were  absorbed  by  a  different  set 
of  emotions;  they  stared  about  them  and  strove  to 
penetrate  the  gloom  beyond,  only  to  see  if  there  was 
anything  scandalous  going  on  in  the  darkness,  rather 
than  with  any  interest  in  the  wild  grandeur  and  beauty 
of  the  scene. 

Finding  nothing  here  of  interest,  they  returned  to 
the  piazza  which  surrounded  the  house,  and,  assuming 
the  air  of  ladies  of  wealth  and  high  social  position, 
and  of  perfect  peace  of  mind  concerning  their  bills  and 
their  station  in  life,  they  fell  in  behind  the  other  prom- 
enaders,  and  walked  all  around  the  hotel,  arm  in  arm, 
making  up  a  cash  estimate  of  the  value  of  other 
women's  clothes  and  jewels,  and  criticising  their  move 
ments  and  personal  appearance,  concerning  the  latter 
of  which  they  took  extreme  pessimistic  views,  denounc 
ing  everybody  as  either  ferociously  ugly  or  abomina 
bly  old.  In  fact,  according  to  the  Gipps  family,  there 
was  nobody  in  the  world  who  would  ever  see  thirty 
again;  and  almost  everybody  was  "rising  of  forty." 
As  for  beauty,  they  were  sure  it  was  all  artificial; 
while  to  them,  any  evidence  of  wealth  was  a  proof  that 
people  were  living  beyond  their  means  or  else  were 
engaged  in  some  nefarious  business.  Gentlemen  and 
their  wives  suffered  even  worse.  Miss  Tillie  wondered 
if  they  were  married ;  and  ladies  were  compromised  by 
the  attentions  of  their  husbands,  Mrs.  Gipps  declaring 
every  time  that  it  was  some  other  man's  wife  and 
some  other  woman's  husband. 

But  they  by  no  means  felt  at  their  ease.    Miss  Tillie 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  AT  FIRE  ISLAND.  77 

felt  that  everybody  knew  her  best  back  silk  dress  was 
the  only  one  she  had;  and  Mrs.  Gipps  felt  that  every 
body  knew  she  took  lodgers  for  a  living— when  she 
could  get  any.  In  spite  of  everything,  they  felt  like 
shams,  pretenders,  and  humbugs,  and  they  longed  to 
hide  their  heads.  At  last  Miss  Tillie  whispered : 

"  Less  go  to  bed;  I'm  tired  half  to  death." 

"  Me,  too,"  responded  Mrs.  Gipps.  And  they  sought 
the  seclusion  of  their  little  room. 

"  Doesn't  it  look  too  mean  for  anything  ?  "  cried  Miss 
Tillie,  as  she  lighted,  the  candle  and  looked  around  the 
sparsely  furnished  apartment. 

"  Well,  it's  cheap,"  replied  Mrs.  Gipps,  "  so  it's  all  for 
the  best.  It  won't  kill  us  for  one  night,"  though  she 
changed  her  mind  after  she  got  into  bed,  and.  firmly 
believed  she  couldn't  live  till  morning. 

Miss  Tillie  as  the  superior  being,  the  prospective 
moneyed  party,  took  a  seat  in  the  chair;  while  her 
mother,  as  the  inferior  member  of  the  family,  the  poor 
relation,  seated  herself  on  the  side  of  the  bed;  and  then 
they  discussed  and  animadverted  upon  the  people  they 
had  seen  down-stairs  till  overcome  by  the  fatigue  of 
the  day,  when  they  retired  to  bed  and  fell  asleep,  re 
gretting  their  inability  to  get  away  earlier.  In  fact 
on  this  point  they  had  not  made  the  same  searching 
investigation  which  they  had  so  ably  devoted  to  other 
people's  business.  The  clerk  didn't  say  they  could  not 
go  before  three-thirty. 

They  asked  when  they  could  get  off,  and  he  replied 
that  they  could  go  at  three- thirty;  or  perhaps,  to  be 
more  exact,  his  actual  words  were : 

"  There's  a  boat  at  three-thirty  P.M."  And  if  they 
had  pursued  the  investigation  with  the  energy  and 
ardor  which  they  had  infused  into  the  labor  of  looking 
into  the  colonel's  affairs,  they  doubtless  would  have 


78  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

unearthed  the  fact  that  there  was  also  a  boat  at  six- 
thirty  in  the  morning.  Ignorant  of  this,  however, 
they  slept  till  seven  and  went  down  to  breakfast  at 
eight. 

After  breakfast  they  strolled  over  to  the  boat-land 
ing  and  gazed  on  the  Great  South  Bay  for  half  an 
hour,  and  yawned  and  wished  the  boat  went  earlier. 
Then  they  returned  to  the  hotel  and  sauntered  over  to 
the  beach,  a  distance  of  about  a  quarter  of  a  mile. 
But  the  grandeur  and  sublimity  of  the  Atlantic  Ocean 
failed  to  make  any  impression  upon  them,  while  the 
glitter  of  the  sun  upon  the  water  did — they  unani 
mously  pronounced  it  "  horrid "  and  returned  to  the 
hotel;  and  wandering  idly  and  aimlessly  about,  they 
came  upon  the  bowling-alley,  where  they  passed  the 
remainder  of  the  morning  watching  the  players. 

They  ate  their  dinner  early,  and,  in  despair  of  find 
ing  any  other  amusement  till  the  time  to  start,  they 
wandered  over  to  the  beach  again. 

By  this  time,  the  tide  having  served,  large  numbers 
of  people  were  collected  there,  and  the  Gipps  family, 
though  often  bemoaning  the  absence  of  the  colonel  and 
the  opportunity  for  a  love  adventure,  managed  to  pass 
the  time  so  pleasantly  looking  at  the  bathers  that  it 
was  nearl\r  three  o'clock  before  they  thought  of  re 
turning.  On  arriving  at  the  office,  where  Mrs.  Gipps 
paused  to  settle  her  bill,  they  learned  that  the  boat 
left  the  landing  at  three-ten  instead  of  three-thirty, 
whereat  they  suspected  the  clerk  of  deceiving  them  by 
design,  although  that  individual  gave  the  sufficient  ex 
planation  that  the  boat  didn't  get  off  till  three-thirty, 
although  she  left  the  landing  at  three- ten  or  therea 
bouts. 

In  consternation,  Miss  Tillie  flew  up-stairs  to  pack 
the  satchel;  and  Mrs.  Gipps  hurriedly  called  for  her 
bill. 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY   AT   FJKE   ISLAND.  79 

"  It's  just  eight  dollars/'  replied  the  clerk,  calmly. 

"Eight  dollars!"  shrieked  Mrs.  Gipps.  "Why!  we 
only  came  last  night ! " 

"  Yes,  it's  just  one  day,"  responded  the  clerk,  peace 
ably. 

"  But  there's  only  two  of  us,"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  in 
astonishment. 

"Yes,  ma'am,  four  dollars  a  day  we  charge." 

"  Oh ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps.  But  there  were  other  peo 
ple  paying  their  bills  without  a  murmur;  and  how 
genteel  it  did  look  to  pay  whatever  was  demanded 
without  dispute!  So  she  handed  up  the  money  just  as 
Miss  Tillie  appeared  with  the  satchel  in  one  hand  and 
her  mother's  bonnet,  parasol,  and  dolman  in  the  other. 

"  You  won't  have  time  to  go  up-stairs  again,"  she 
cried;  and  indeed  it  was  already  five  minutes  past 
three. 

Mrs.  Gipps  hurriedly  put  on  her  bonnet  at  the  par 
lor  mirror;  and  by  virtue  of  rapid  traveling  down  the 
board-walk  to  the  landing,  they  caught  the  boat. 

"  I'd  swum  across  the  Great  South  Bay,"  cried  Mrs. 
Gipps,  "before  I'd  stayed  there  another  day.  They 
charged  eight  dollars!  A  pretty  penny  this  trip  has 
cost;  and  I've  got  to  telegraph  for  that  umbrella  yet! 
I  don't  see  how  in  the  world  I  can  stand  it  to  go  to  the 
Catskills.  I'll  be  dead  broke." 

"Give  it  up,  then!"  snarled  Miss  Tillie,  "and  you 
can  pay  off  your  mortgage  the  best  way  you  can." 

"  There's  no  knowing  as  we'll  ever  find  the  colonel," 
snappishly  retorted  the  discouraged  husband-hunter. 
"  It's  my  opinion  it's  only  another  wild-goose  chase." 

"  You  can  go  or  not,  as  you  like,"  sullenly  returned 
Miss  Tillie.  "If  you  don't  choose  to  go,  I'll  pawn  my 
watch  and  rings  and  bracelets,  and  push  on  alone. 
Never  say  die  is  my  motto!  But  if  I  have  to  make 


80  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

such  a  sacrifice  as  that,  I'll  cut  adrift  from  every  blessed 
soul  that  bears  the  name  of  Gipps — mark  that!" 

"  Oh,  of  course !  of  course !  It  would  be  all  I  would 
expect  of  you,  anyhow,"  retorted  the  mother.  "  I'd 
never  expect  you  to  do  anything1  for  me.  You  always 
was  a  selfish  girl,  Matilda  Gipps;  and  you'd  stand  by 
and  see  me  spend  my  last  dollar  trying-  to  find  you  a 
husband;  and  there's  no  knowing  as  the  colonel  will 
ever  propose." 

At  this  Miss  Tillie  glared  so  fiercely  at  her  mother 
that  that  g-ood  woman  was  almost  afraid  of  being 
strangled  on  the  spot. 

"You  know  better  than  that!"  hissed  the  young- 
lady.  Leaving  her  mother  to  herself  she  went  to  an 
other  part  of  the  boat  and  sat  looking  dismally  oat 
upon  the  bay,  a  very  melancholy  girl,  thinking  how 
large  and  bony  her  fingers  always  looked  without  her 
rings,  and  how  doubly  large  and  bony  her  wrists 
looked  without  her  bracelets,  not  to  mention  the  loss  of 
air  and  style  suffered  by  the  absence  of  these,  her  only 
evidence  of  wealth. 

She  had  just  vowed  a  vow  to  see  her  mother  die  in 
the  alms-house  and  buried  in  the  Potter's  field,  when 
that  prudent  woman  made  her  appearance,  penitent 
and  humble  again. 

"  I'm  a-go'n'  to  see  you  through,"  she  said.  "  I  don't 
know  as  it's  right  to  back  out  after  I've  given  my  word 
to  do  it.  My  word  is  as  good  as  my  bond." 

Miss  Tillie  continued  looking  stonily  forth  upon  the 
great  heaving  waste  of  water  and  made  no  immediate 
reply,  though  a  huge  burden  had  rolled  off  her  heart. 

"I  want  to  do  everything  I  can  to  advance  your  in- 
t'rest;  you  know  that  as  well  as  I  do,"  continued  the 
penitent  mother,  filling  up  the  gaps  in  the  conversa 
tion  with  embarrassed  a-hems. 


THE   GIFPS   FAMILY  AT   FIRE   ISLAND.  81 

"I  know  what's  to  my  interest  is  to  yours,  too," 
haughtily  returned  Miss  Tillie,  without  removing-  her 
gaze  from  the  water.  "  It's  your  speculation  as  much 
as  'tis  mine." 

"  I  know  that,"  returned  the  contrite  parent.  "  I 
know  that  perfectly  well,  and  I'm  a-go'n'  to  see  you 
through;  and  I  wouldn't  'a'  lost  my  temper  so  if  it 
hadn't  'a'  been  for  that  scand'lous  bill.  But  there's 
no  use  minding  what  I  say  when  I'm  put  out,"  and, 
still  striving  to  draw  her  daughter's  recollection  off 
their  little  falling  out,  she  added,  "Did  you  ever 
dream  o'  them  charg'n'  four  dollars  a  day  ?" 

"  No,  I  never  did,"  returned  Miss  Tillie,  trying  to  en 
courage  her  mother's  advances.  "I  never  heard  of 
anything  so  awful." 

"  It  ain't  go'n'  to  happen  again,  though,"  replied  Mrs. 
Gipps,  determined  to  appear  cheerful.  "  I've  got  my 
wisdom  teeth  cut  now,  you  bet;  so  I  ain't  a-go'n'  to 
think  no  more  about  that;  and  I  don't  want  you  to 
worry  about  it,  either;  so  cheer  up — I  guess  we'll  come 
out  all  right.  As  to  the  umberrella,  that  was  my  own 
carelessness.  I've  got  nobody  to  blame  but  myself  for 
that.  But  we'll  want  it  if  we're  goin'  to  the  Catskills; 
and  I'm  a-go'n'  to  telegraph  for  it  the  first  thing  I  do 
when  we  get  to  Babylon." 

And  she  did  telegraph,  and  it  cost  her  a  dollar;  but 
as  she  had  so  sadly  predicted,  she  never  more  beheld 
it;  nor  did  she  ever  receive  the  faintest  tidings  from 
it,  but  she  was  just  as  censorious  of  the  world  ever 
after  for  thus  wrongfully  dispossessing  her  of  that 
cherished  umbrella  as  though  she  had  come  rightfully 
by  it  herself. 
6 


82  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE  ADVENTURES  AND  MISADVENTURES    OF    THE  GIPPS 
FAMILY  IN  THE  CATSKILLS. 

IT  was  half-past  six  when  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie 
arrived  in  Long  Island  City ;  and  as  there  was  no  time, 
in  such  an  awful  emergency,  to  pay  their  home  a  visit 
before  proceeding-  on  their  journey,  they  crossed  by 
James'  Slip  ferry;  and  calling-  a  hack,  which  cost 
them  another  dollar,  they  drove  as  fast  as  the  driver 
could  be  induced  to  go,  to  the  Catskill  night  boat  at 
the  foot  of  Harrison  Street,  where  they  arrived  Justin 
time  to  get  aboard. 

Mrs.  Gipps  went  alone  to  the  captain's  office  to  buy 
the  tickets  and  secure  a  stateroom,  and  Miss  Tillie 
sought  the  Jadies'  saloon,  where,  a  few  minutes  later, 
she  was  joined  \)y  her  mother  smoking  with  indigna 
tion  and  the  excitement  and  wrath  engendered  by  an 
unsuccessful,  inglorious  battle  over  the  fares. 

"  Four  dollars  more !  "  she  gasped.  "  A  dollar  apiece 
fare,  and  the  same  for  a  stateroom,  and  he  wouldn't 
take  any  less  though  I  told  him  we  could  both  sleep  in 
the  same  berth,  and  that  anyhow  I  didn't  expect  to 
sleep  a  wink  all  night  for  the  noise.  But  he  said  there 
wasn't  no  noise  on  his  boat,  and  he'd  as  lieves  we'd 
sleep  in  both  berths  and  take  our  comfort  as  any  way." 

No  sooner  had  the  boat  started  than  a  very  black 
negro  in  a  dirty  apron  went  through  the  saloon  and 
out  on  deck  ringing  a  very  deep-toned  bell,  announc 
ing  supper  in  the  gentlemen's  cabin;  behind  him 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  83 

came  the  stewardess,  a  very  genteel  mulatto  woman 
with  crinkly  hair,  who,  to  crush  out  any  idea  of  econ 
omy  on  the  part  of  any  of  the  parsimonious  female  pas 
sengers  on  board,  addressed  the  ladies  individually, 
asking  them  if  they  "  wished  supper,"  and  offering  her 
services  in  bringing  it  up  if  they  so  desired. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie,  having  improvidently 
dined  early  at  the  hotel  on  Fire  Island  through  sheer 
idleness  and  want  of  occupation,  were  now  nearly 
famished;  but  they  had  laid  in  a  cheap  supply  of  pro 
visions  on  their  way  from  the  ferry,  consisting  of  a 
paper  bag  of  crackers  and  five  cents'  worth  of  peanut 
candy;  they,  therefore,  replied  opulently  to  the  solici 
tations  of  the  stewardess,  though  with  suspicious  par 
ticularity,  that  they  had  only  just  dined  and  had  no 
appetite  for  supper. 

The  stewardess  artfully  concealed  her  real  opinion 
on  that  point,  and  the  Gipps  family  retreated  imme 
diately  to  their  stateroom,  where  they  fell  at  once 
upon  the  crackers  and  cand}7. 

These  being  devoured,  and  their  appetites  being 
only  the  sharper,  they  began  to  feel  that  they  were 
being  foolishly  economical  and  doing  themselves  a 
great  injustice.  What  was  the  use,  Miss  Tillie  thought, 
to  starve  herself  to  death  if  she  was  going  to  marry  a 
rich  man  so  soon  ?  And  what  was  the  use,  Mrs.  Gipps 
thought,  to  punish  herself  this  way  when,  should  she 
fail  to  have  a  rich  son-in-law  pretty  shortly,  at  least 
there  was  another  way  yet  of  making  the  colonel  foot 
the  bills;  so  when  Miss  Tillie  declared  her  belief  that 
it  was  all  nonsense  going  without  their  supper,  she  by 
no  means  reluctantly  acquiesced,  and  they  went  down 
to  the  table,  thereby  adding  another  dollar  to  the  bill 
the  colonel  was  destined  to  pa}7. 

After  supper  Miss  Tillie  proposed  going  out  on  deck 


84  COL.  JUDSOJST  OF  ALABAMA. 

to  see  the  Palisades  and  the  rest  of  the  scenery  along 
the  Hudson,  but  Mrs.  Gipps  wanted  to  stay  in  the 
saloon  and  watch  a  young  couple  at  the  piano  and  see 
if  they  went  into  the  same  stateroom  together;  and 
Miss  Tillie,  nothing  loth,  kept  her  company. 

The  young  man,  however,  went  ashore  at  the  next 
stopping-place;  but,  by  this  time  the  curiosity  of  the 
Gipps  family  had  been  turned  upon  several  other  peo 
ple,  and  they  forgot  the  Palisades  entirely  and  re 
mained  inside  till  the  saloon  began  to  grow  empty, 
when  they  retired  to  their  stateroom. 

Miss  Tillie  was  already  laid  away  on  the  top  shelf 
when  Mrs.  Gipps  made  the  astounding  discovery  that 
her  daughter,  in  packing  the  satchel  so  hastily  at  Fire 
Island,  had  left  her  parent's  night-dress  and  slippers 
behind. 

As  the  lost  property  was  not  Miss  Tillie's,  that 
young  lady  took  an  exclusively  humorous  view  of  the 
situation,  and  several  unmistakable  giggles  emanated 
from  the  upper  berth. 

"It's  no  laughing  matter!"  snappishly  cried  Mrs. 
Gipps,  once  more  on  the  point  of  falling  out  with  her 
beloved  daughter  as  all  her  losses  and  expenses  rushed 
upon  her  in  their  aggregate  force.  "  What  am  I  to 
do,  I'd  like  to  know?  I  shall  freeze!  And  that  was 
my  best  night-gown,  too;  and  my  slippers  hardly 
worn  a  bit!  You  took  mighty  good  care  not  to  leave 
your  own  things  behind!" 

"I'll  give  you  every  night-gown  I've  got,"  gayly 
cried  Miss  Tillie.  "  I'll  give  them  to  you  the  very  day 
I  order  my  trousseau,  and  all  the  slippers  you  want; 
so  now ! " 

Mrs.  Gipps,  striving  to  console  herself  with  the  belief 
that  she  was  not  going  to  be  always  poor  and  pinched, 
and  that  the  time  would  soon  arrive  when  the  loss  of 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  85 

a  night-dress  and  a  pair  of  slippers  would  be  nothing 
to  her,  endeavored  to  compose  herself  to  sleep;  but  the 
want  of  sleeves  in  the  garment  she  had  substituted  for 
the  lost  one,  the  whistling-  of  the  boat,  and  the  handling 
of  the  freight,  kept  her  awake  nearly  the  whole  night. 

In  the  morning,  emerging  from  their  stateroom  at 
the  hour  when  they  were  due  at  Catskill,  they  found 
a  thick  fog  enveloping  the  boat,  which  was  scarcely 
moving;  and  the  stewardess,  informing  them  that  it 
would  be  a  couple  of  hours  yet  before  they  could  reach 
their  destination,  urgently  recommended  their  taking 
some  breakfast. 

Miss  Tillie  had  been  feeling  opulent  for  the  last 
eight-and-forty  hours;  Mrs.  Gipps  had  been  feeling 
faint  and  exhausted  ever  since  three  o'clock  in  the 
morning;  and  since  the  colonel  was  to  foot  the  bills, 
they  resolved  to  have  some  breakfast,  and  accord 
ingly  they  gladdened  the  mulatto  woman's  heart  by 
acquiescing  in  her  benevolent  proposition. 

No  sooner  had  they  paid  in  advance  for  some 
very  thick  coffee  and  some  very  cold,  overdone  steak 
cut  from  the  hind  leg  of  some  superannuated  ox,  than 
the  boat  came  to  a  dead  halt.  Miss  Tillie  thought  she 
had  grounded  or  gone  ashore  and  was  just  going  for 
her  life-preserver,  when  they  heard  "  Catskill ! "  an 
nounced. 

They  gulped  the  coffee  down  without  stopping  to 
taste  of  it;  but  the  steak  reverted  to  the  owners  of 
the  boat  and  appeared  on  the  table  that  night,  on  the 
down  trip,  in  the  form  of  meat  patties. 

But  their  adventures  and  misfortunes  had  just 
begun,  especially  as  they  were  not  quite  sure  just 
where  they  wanted  to  go. 

Scarcely  had  they  stepped  ashore  when  they  were 
swallowed  ux>  in  a  mob  of  hack-drivers  and  runners  for 


86  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

the  hotels  on  the  mountains  and  in  the  vicinity  of  the 
village. 

As  soon  as  Mrs.  Gipps  had  succeeded  in  explaining 
that  she  wanted  to  go  up  the  mountains  somewhere 
and  hunt  up  some  friends  by  the  name  of  Colonel 
Flushing-,  a  chorus  of  voices  arose  on  alt  sides,  each 
one  claiming  to  have  taken  the  party  up  and  to  know 
just  where  they  were. 

It  was  difficult  to  know  which  to  believe;  but  the 
sturdiest  and  most  ingenious  liar  in  the  whole  crowd 
won  the  day,  and  then  Mrs.  Gipps  inquired  his  price. 

"  Three  dollars  apiece  from  the  landing  to  the  Moun 
tain  House,  and  a  dollar  an  hour  after  that." 

Mrs.  Gipps  nearly  shrieked.  She  had  been  under  the 
impression  that  she  could  go  up  in  a  stage  for  half  a 
dollar;  but  Miss  Tillie  scowled  upon  her  privately  and 
snarled  "  Don't !"  and  the  same  reflections  that  had 
consoled  her  in  all  her  expenditures  hitherto  sustained 
her  now.  Already  they  had  parted  with  twenty-two 
dollars  and  eight3r-one  cents  since  starting  on  this 
journey,  including  their  expenditures  in  telegraphing 
for  the  lost  umbrella  and  their  outlays  for  the  paper 
bag  of  crackers  and  the  peanut  candy ;  but  singularly 
enough,  instead  of  feeling  just  so  much  the  poorer,  the 
more  they  spent  the  richer  they  felt;  and  the  longer 
they  remained  away  from  home  pretending  to  be 
wealthy,  traveling  around  in  company  with  other  rich 
people,  wearing  black  silk  dresses  instead  of  seersucker 
petticoats  all  day  long,  indulging  themselves  in  all 
their  appetites  craved,  the  stronger  grew  the  hallucina 
tion  that  they  were  very  wealthy  people  and  were 
about  to  form  a  matrimonial  alliance  with  a  Southern 
gentleman  of  vast  means. 

They  therefore  took  their  seats  in  the  carriage— 
a  handsome  barouche  in  perfect  condition  drawn  by 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  *THE   CATSKILLS.  87 

two  large,  glossy,  handsome  horses,  and  driven  by  a 
crafty,  obsequious  fellow,  who  evidently  took  them 
for  people  of  fortune,  thus  adding  all  the  more  to  the 
power  and  force  of  their  own  delusions  in  that  respect. 

Little  heed  the  Gipps  family  gave  to  the  scenery  as 
they  passed  along.  They  scarcely  observed  the  effects 
of  the  exhilarating  air.  Miss  Tillie  was  overcome  with 
excitement  at  thoughts  of  the  approaching  meeting 
with  the  colonel  and  the  certainty  of  soon  knowing  all 
his  secrets;  and  Mrs.  Gipps  was  silerrtty  turning  over 
in  her  own  mind  what  she  was  going  to  do  when  she 
came  at  last  into  the  colonel's  presence ;  but  so  many 
different  and  opposite  contingencies  presented  them 
selves  to  her  imagination  that  she  at  last  resolved  to 
abandon  the  problem  and  let  matters  take  their  course. 

And  matters  did  take  their  course. 

They  drove  to  all  the  hotels  on  the  mountains.  Miss 
Tillie  descended  from  the  carriage  and  paced  opulently 
back  and  forth  on  the  piazza  every  time  they  stopped, 
sniffed  the  air  knowingly,  and  gazed  with  a  fine  affec 
tation  of  aesthetic  rapture  upon  the  scenery;  and  her 
mother  went  into  the  office  and  examined  the  register. 
At  last,  to  their  astonishment,  after  visiting  all  the 
large  hotels,  they  came  upon  a  modest  little  house 
surrounded  by  a  thick  pine  grove,  where  they  found  on 
the  register,  in  the  colonel's  handwriting,  under 
date  of  the  previous  Mondaj^,  the  very  day  he  left  Fire 
Island,  "  Col.  Judson  and  wife,  Eatonton,  Ala/' 

The  change  of  name  by  no  means  misled  the 
Gippses.  They  understood  it  at  once.  The  colonel 
was  with  the  Jewess;  and  they  were  traveling  under 
the  name  of  "  Judson,"  which,  of  course,  belonged  to 
neither. 

Further  investigation  revealed  that  they  had  left 
the  next  morning.  The  proprietor  himself  had  driven 


88  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

them  to  Tannersville  and  had  left  them  at  a  boarding- 
house  there. 

The  boarding-house  was  readity  designated;  their 
driver  knew  all  about  it;  and  the  Gipps  family,  now  full 
of  excitement,  unanimously  resolved  to  drive  thither 
forthwith. 

But  by  this  time  it  was  one  o'clock  in  the  afternoon; 
and  their  obsequious  driver  humbly  begged  to  be  al 
lowed  to  bate  his  horses  and  eat  some  dinner  before 
going  further.  The  opulent  ladies  in  the  carriage,  as  a 
matter  of  course,  graciously  acceded  to  this  request, 
and,  the  exhilarating  air  having  given  them  both  a 
fine  appetite,  they  resolved  to  dine  themselves  before 
prosecuting  their  search  further. 

Everything  was  very  economical  about  the  house, 
the  dinner  extremely  simple  and  primitive;  and  the 
Gipps  family  wondered  and  speculated  not  a  little 
that  the  colonel  should  have  stopped  here;  but  the 
landlady  presently  came  in  and  charged  them  a  dol 
lar  apiece  for  the  meal,  her  price  being  gauged  accord 
ing  to  the  supposed  depth  of  her  visitors'  pocket,  and 
not  with  any  reference  to  the  actual  market  value  of 
the  food  and  drink  provided. 

Mrs.  Gipps  paid  the  bill  philosophically;  Miss  Tillie 
smiled  superbly,  and  cast  a  few  disdainful  glances  at 
the  cheap  furniture;  and  the  two  seated  themselves 
loftily  in  the  carriage  again. 

"Well,  I  know  one  thing!"  cried  Miss  Tillie  as  they 
started  off.  "  I  never  will  put  up  with  it  to  have  a  hus 
band  take  me  to  a  hotel  like  that !  I  want  to  travel 
first-class  or  stay  at  home.  Must  be  he  daren't  stop 
at  any  of  the  swell  hotels  because  he  had  that  Jew 
woman  with  him." 

"  That's  just  it ! "  quickly  assented  the  mother,  in 
deep  relief  of  mind;  for  she  had  been  secretly  cherish- 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY"  IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  89 

ing  some  sad  misgivings  as  to  the  actual  financial 
condition  of  her  prospective  son-in-law  as  well  as  pain 
ful  doubts  as  to  his  liberality.  "  Yes,  yes,  now  you 
mention  it,"  she  murmured,  "  I  can  see  how  it  was. 
They  won't  take  Jews  at  any  o'  those  big  hotels." 

"  That's  it ! "  reaffirmed  Miss  Tillie.  "  WThat  a  per 
fectly  beastly  dinner  that  was!  What  horrid  stuff 
that  pudden  was!  Rice  pudden  made  with  eggs!" 
she  added  contemptuously,  though  she  ate  enough 
of  it  to  banish  any  doubts  the  landlady  might  have 
entertained  as  to  whether  or  not  it  was  made  right. 
"  No,"  she  continued,  as  she  leaned  back  with  an  afflu 
ent  air  in  the  carriage,  "  I  sha'n't  let  my  husband  take 
me  to  a  hotel  like  that!  Now,  I  wanted  some  roast 
turkey  to-day,  and  some  ice-cream  and  pound  cake, 
and  English  walnuts,  and  almonds  and  raisins,  and  to 
have  to  put  up  with  boiled  mutton  and  noth'n'  but 
'taters  andVatery  spinach,  chock  full  of  sand,  and  rice 
pudden,  and  red  doilies  two  inches  square,  and  holes  in 
the  table-cloth!  I  don't  care  if  I  do  eat  off  a  bare 
table  at  home,  I  want  things  nice  when  I  go  away ; 
and  I  shall  tell  the  colonel  so  mighty  quick.  But  I 
don't  think  he'll  ever  take  me  to  such  a  mean  hole.  I 
s'pose  he  thought  it  was  good  enough  for  that  Jew 
woman." 

"I  think  that  must  be  it,"  replied  Mrs.  Gipps, strug 
gling  bravely  against  her  fears.  "I  can't  believe  but 
what  the  colonel  has  got  plenty  o'  money." 

"Of  course  he  has !"  cried  Miss  Tillie,  loftily,  " and 
I'm  go'n'  to  make  him  spend  it ! " 

They  reached  Tannersville  at  half-past  three;  they 
might  have  been  there  an  hour  earlier,  but  the  horses 
had  walked  nearly  all  the  way;  and  the  humble  and 
obsequious  driver  had  stopped  three  times  to  talk  with 
his  friends  by  the  wayside. 


90  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

Arriving  at  the  house  to  which  they  had  been  di 
rected,  they  learned  from  the  landlady,  Mrs.  Has- 
brouck,  and  her  register  that  "  Colonel  Judson  and 
wife,  Eaton  ton,  Ala.,"  dined  there  on  Tuesday  last; 
and  that  her  son,  Mr.  Stephen  Hasbrouck,  had,  she 
believed,  driven  them  over  to  Dave  Van  Tassel's,  a 
place  several  miles  distant,  where  she  understood  they 
had  taken  board. 

Mr.  Stephen  Hasbrouck  was  at  present  off  with  a 
party  of  the  boarders  and  would  not  be  back  till  about 
supper  time;  but  when  he  returned  ho  could  tell  them 
more  about  it  and  could  take  them  over  to  Van  Tas 
sel's  if  they  liked,  or  wherever  it  was  he  had  left  the 
parties. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie,  in  exultation  at  this 
cheering  news,  immediately  decided  to  dismiss  their 
carriage  and  await  the  young  man's  return;  but  they 
shuddered  at  the  thought  of  paying  the  bill. 

The  humble  and  obsequious  driver,  however,  was  not 
in  the  least  diffident  or  backward  about  it.  They  had 
arrived  at  the  Mountain  House  at  eleven,  and  it  was 
now  four. 

The  bill,  he  said,  was  sixteen  dollars;  and  he  never 
quailed  or  blinked. 

But  affluent  as  the  Gipps  family  felt,  they  broke 
into  a  chorus  of  astounded  "ohs!"  and  wanted  to 
know  how  that  could  be. 

The  humble  and  obsequious  driver  demonstrated  it 
easily  enough.  Didn't  he  agree  to  charge  three  dol 
lars  apiece  to  the  Mountain  House,  and  a  dollar  an 
hour  apiece  after  that  ? 

"What!  a  dollar  apiece!  and  do  you  mean  to  say 
you  charge  for  the  dinner  hour  too  ?  "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps. 

Indeed  he  did,  returned  the  humble  and  obsequi 
ous  driver.  "  Why  not  ?  " 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  91 

Of  course  the  Gipps  family  paid  the  bill.  In  fact 
they  had  no  alternative;  for  the  humble  and  obsequi 
ous  driver  looked  capable  at  any  moment  of  detaining 
their  very  persons  in  default  thereof;  moreover,  the 
whole  community  (consisting  of  the  landlady,  a  near 
relative  of  the  humble  and  obsequious  driver's  wife, 
and  all  her  hired  girls  who  had  known  him  all  their 
lives)  agreed  that  the  bill  was  exceedingly  moderate 
and  just;  aud  it  was  a  full  mile  to  any  other  habita 
tion. 

For  a  while,  as  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  sat  alone 
in  the  plainly  furnished,  barren-looking  parlor  of  the 
unpretentious  little  boarding-house,  they  felt  impover 
ished  and  doleful  enough,  but  when  the  boarders, 
dressed  for  supper,  began  to  appear,  their  spirits  rose; 
they  felt  wealthy  again;  and  when  the  son  returned 
and  declared  that  the  distance  to  the  house  to  which 
he  had  driven  the  colonel  was  too  great  and  the  road 
too  rough  to  admit  of  his  taking  them  there  with  his 
tired  horses  that  night,  they  complacently  called  for 
a  room  and  remained  till  the  next  day. 

On  retiring  to  the  privacy  of  their  own  apartment 
Mrs.  Gipps,  feeling  anxious  for  the  immediate  future, 
sat  down  to  count  her  money.  They  had  neither  of 
them  summed  up  their  total  expenditures  since  they 
started — a  talent  for  mental  arithmetic  not  running 
in  the  family;  and  now,  to  their  unbounded  astonish 
ment  and  alarm,  they  discovered  that  they  had  but 
fifteen  dollars  left ! 

"  I  must  V  been  robbed  on  the  boat  last  night ! " 
cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  in  bewilderment  and  fright;  and  even 
Miss  Tillie  looked  pale ;  but  quickly  bringing  forth  her 
pencil  she  reckoned  up  their  outlays. 

It  was  just  forty  dollars  and  eighty-one  cents! 

So  the  money  had  not  been  stolen — they  had  had 


92  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

the  pleasure  of  spending  it  themselves,  and  they  began 
to  feel  better.  Their  importance  rose  in  their  own 
estimation  as  they  contemplated  the  total  amount. 
They  felt  wealthier  than  ever.  What  wonderful  stories 
the3T  could  tell  now  of  the  awful  expenses  of  their  sum 
mer  travels  to  the  seaside  and  mountains,  and  how 
they  had  been  imposed  upon,  what  extortions  they  had 
suffered ! 

But  for  the  present  it  was  necessary  to  economize; 
for  there  was  great  peril  that  long  before  they  could 
reach  home  their  purse  would  run  dry.  It  was  quite 
improbable  that  the  colonel  would  suggest  such  a  thing 
as  rushing  through  a  marriage  before  returning  to  the 
city;  and  although  they  could  borrow  something  once 
he  was  overtaken,  yet  they  must  not  recklessly  over 
look  the  fact  that  he  may  have  started  back  or  gone 
beyond  the  possible  reach  of  their  depleted  exchequer. 

Under  this  aspect  of  affairs  Miss  Tillie  proposed  her 
mother's  ascertaining  immediately  what  it  was  going 
to  cost  them  for  the  carriage  in  the  morning;  and,  to 
prevent  the  landlady  and  her  son  from  harboring  any 
suspicion  prejudicial  to  their  financial  condition,  she 
must  first  proclaim  her  unalterable  resolve,  in  view  of 
the  extortions  practised  upon  her,  never  to  hire  a  car 
riage  again  without  making  her  bargain  in  advance. 

Mrs.  Gipps  adopted  and  acted  upon  the  suggestion 
at  once,  and  presently  returned  with  the  alarming  in 
telligence  that  the  man  declared  his  very  bottom  price 
for  the  job  was  six  dollars.  And  then  for  a  long  time 
there  was  whispering  in  the  Gipps  apartment — all  un 
conscious  of  the  beauty  of  the  night  outside,  of  the 
moonlight  on  the  mountains,  of  the  shadows  creeping 
over  the  hills,  the  Gippses  sat  whispering ! 

In  the  first  place,  it  was  all-important  to  maintain 
their  dignity  and  their  character  as  wealthy  people. 


THE    GIPPS   FAMILY   IN   THE   CATSKILLS.  93 

To  do  so,  it  was  of  the  first  importance  not  to  run  out 
of  money ;  therefore  the}7  resolved  to  set  forth  in  the 
morning  on  foot  immediately  after  breakfast. 

They  would  profess  to  have  changed  their  minds 
about  looking  up  their  friends  for  the  present,  and 
would  represent  that  they  were  going  out  for  a  little 
stroll.  It  would,  of  course,  look  queer  to  take  their 
satchel;  but  they  mast  manage  to  carry  it  so  as  not 
to  attract  attention.  Of  course  it  would  be  impossible 
to  walk  any  great  distance;  but  they  would  start  and 
trust  in  Providence  to  send  some  farmer  along  with 
an  offer  of  a  free  ride. 

They  carried  out  the  programme  to  the  letter. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  with  Christian  fortitude  and  resigna 
tion,  or  something  resembling  these  qualities,  paid  the 
bill,  which  was  four  dollars  and  a  half,  and  they  set 
forth,  greatly  to  the  astonishment  of  the  landlady,  who 
assured  them  they  could  never  make  the  journey  on 
foot.  But,  buoyed  up  by  the  belief  that  everybody 
thought  they  were  rich,  and  that  the  landlady  believed 
what  they  had  told  her,  they  at  first  felt  neither  the 
fatigue  of  walking  nor  the  burden  of  carrying  the 
satchel. 

But  when  their  best  shoes  began  to  feel  ]ike  a  vise 
on  all  their  corns  and  joints,  and  their  best  black  silk 
dresses  began  to  be  covered  with  dust,  and  all  the  folds 
and  ruffles  had  turned  gray;  when  their  arms  began 
to  ache  carry  ing  the  satchel  by  turns,  and  their  fingers 
came  through  their  gloves  in  the  endeavor  to  hold 
their  skirts  up  out  of  the  heavy,  yellow  dust,  and  to 
carry  their  parasols  to  protect  themselves  from  the 
blazing  sun ;  when  their  tongues  grew  parched  with 
thirst,  and  their  black  silk  dresses,  under  the  hot  sun, 
felt  like  burning  glasses  on  their  backs,  and  the  per 
spiration  rolled  down  their  faces — then  they  felt  like 


94  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

paupers  and  pariahs;  and,  oh!  how  they  longed  for 
their  seersucker  petticoats,  their  loose  gingham  sacks, 
and  their  big  clacking  shoes ! 

But  on  they  trudged,  till  they  came  to  a  huge  flat 
rock  under  a  wide-spreading  oak.  There  was  no  house 
in  sight  and  no  one  visible  along  the  road.  Gladly 
seating  themselves  they  removed  their  gloves,  and, 
fanning  themselves  vigorously,  they  sat  there  half  an 
hour  or  more  expecting  to  be  overtaken  by  some  ac 
commodating  countryman  and  invited  to  ride. 

Their  spirits  rose,  and  they  talked  as  usual  of  the 
colonel  and  of  their  theories  and  speculations;  but 
when,  every  now  and  then,  some  magnificent  carriage 
with  gleaming  wheels  and  harness  and  splendid  horses 
rolled  by  with  wealthy  occupants  looking  so  cool  and 
happy  as  they  sniffed  the  country  air  and  gazed  upon 
the  mountains  lying  before  and  on  all  sides,  and  when 
great  clouds  of  dust  rolled  back  upon  them  in  their 
lowly  seat  by  the  roadside,  then  they  began  to  feel  like 
tramps  and  vagabonds  again. 

Occasionally  a  clumsy  old  farmer's  wagon  passed 
them;  but  none  offered  to  take  them  up.  They  were 
too  evidently  city  people,  and  to  these  the  farmers 
hereabout  no  longer  offered  such  courtesies.  Matters, 
therefore,  began  to  look  serious.  The  sun  was  climbing 
higher  in  the  sky  and  the  day  was  growing  fiercely 
hot. 

Miss  Tillie  was  sure  her  feet  were  blistered;  Mrs. 
Gipps  was  hardly  able  to  move,  so  greatly  had  she 
aggravated  all  her  old  complaints ;  but  spurred  to  rise 
from  their  humble  seat  by  the  appearance  of  another 
affluent  party  in  another  large  glittering  carriage, 
they  again  started  on  their  way;  and  thus  they  con 
tinued,  alternately  walking  and  resting  under  shady 
trees,  sometimes  appeasing  their  hunger  by  picking 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  95 

berries  that  grew  abundantly  along-  the  roadside.  The 
way  was  lonely,  lying  the  greater  part  of  the  time 
through  uncultivated,  hilly  regions  or  woods,  with 
only  now  and  then  a  miserable  hovel  or  a  dilapidated 
farmhouse  to  be  seen. 

"You  was  talk'n',"  remarked  Mrs.  Gipps,  looking 
drearily  around  upon  the  rural  scene,  "about  go'n'  to 
live  with  the  colonel  down  South.  I  don't  see  how 
you're  ago'n'  to  stand  it  liv'n*  in  the  country ." 

"Oh,  that  was  all  taffy!"  replied  the  young  lady. 
"  I  had  to  talk  that  way  to  him.  But  after  we  are 
once  married,  the  colonel's  got  to  sell  his  plantation 
and  come  North  to  live.  I  want  to  go  to  Europe  first, 
and  then  I  want  him  to  buy  a  house  on  Fifth  Avenue. 
I  despise  the  country !  If  I  had  my  way,  there  wouldn't 
be  any  country.  I'd  have  all  the  roads  paved  with 
Belgian  blocks  or  asphalt  like  the  drives  in  Central 
Park.  And  these  horrid  frightful  woods  I'd  have  all 
chopped  down.  I  don't  see  anything  here  to  make 
such  a  fuss  about.  As  to  its  being  cooler  in  the  coun 
try,  I  never  was  so  hot  in  New  York  City  as  I  am  this 
minute." 

"Me  neither,"  responded  the  mother.  "It's  just  as 
hot  here  as  anywhere.  I  never  could  see  anything  in 
the  country  to  admire." 

And  true  it  was,  the  beautiful  shaded  walks,  the 
romantic  vistas  through  the  woods,  the  glimpses  of 
mountains  and  distant  woodlands,  had  no  value  for 
them;  but  on  they  drearily  tramped,  striving  to  ap 
pear  to  the  dwellers  of  the  few  habitations  they  passed, 
or  to  the  people  they  met,  as  if  they  enjoyed  them 
selves  and  were  walking  for  exercise,  though  they  were 
faint  with  hunger,  paralyzed  with  fatigue,  and  over 
come  with  heat,  and  yet,  although  it  was  now  two 
o'clock,  they  had  not  traveled  above  two  miles;  more- 


96  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

over,  a  shower  was  evidently  imminent,  and  they  had 
no  umbrella. 

Under  these  circumstances  they  unanimously  agreed 
that  there  could  be  no  danger  whatever  of  their  not 
finding  the  colonel  at  last,  in  which  case  they  would  be 
in  funds  again;  therefore  it  was  perfect  folly  to 
put  these  miseries  upon  themselves,  and  they  were  re 
solved  to  stop  at  the  next  respectable-looking  habita 
tion,  ask  for  dinner,  and  see  if  they  could  hire  any  kind 
of  an  inexpensive  farmer's  wagon  with  a  steady  horse 
which  they  could  drive  themselves. 

By  this  time  the  sky  had  grown  inky  black,  the 
wind  had  risen,  the  trees  in  the  woods  whistled  fright 
fully;  there  was  a  sudden  and  appalling  change  of 
temperature;  loud  bursts  of  thunder  quickly  followed 
one  another,  and  soon  great  drops  of  rain  dashed  furi 
ously  against  them.  There  was  not  a  house  of  any  de 
scription  anywhere  to  be  seen  till  the  storm  was  full 
upon  them,  when,  drenched  through,  bespattered  with 
mud,  breathless  from  running,  they  arrived  at  a  two- 
story  white  farmhouse  standing  on  a  hill  some  dis 
tance  back  from  the  road. 

A  tall  woman,  with  the  same  bright  red  cheeks  which 
they  had  seen  everywhere  here  in  the  mountains,  was 
standing  at  a  side  door  looking  out  upon  the  storm, 
and  as  she  saw  the  strangers  approaching  she  disap 
peared  a  moment,  reappearing  at  the  front  door,  which 
she  unbolted  with  a  loud  noise  and  opened  with  some 
difficulty,  as  if  it  were  used  only  on  rare  occasions. 

Her  visitors  were  evidently  city  people — she  was 
sure  of  that;  though  how  to  account  for  their  predica 
ment  was  a  mystery;  but  she  opened  the  door  wide 
and  invited  them  in  with  all  the  cordiality  to  be  ex 
pected  of  a  substantial  farmer's  wife  who  had  always 
supposed  herself  as  goed  as  anybody  else,  till  the  city 


THE   GTPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  97 

people  began  to  come  about,  and  till  her  daughter,  who 
had  gone  to  be  a  chambermaid  at  one  of  the  hotels  on 
the  mountains,  had  been  snubbed  and  taught  her  place 
by  the  ladies. 

But  she  invited  the  bedraggled,  sorry-looking  pair 
in,  took  them  into  her  best  spare  bedroom,  hung  their 
clothes  up  to  dry  by  the  kitchen  fire,  and  very  readily 
agreed  to  keep  them  all  night.  Then  she  laid  a  cloth 
for  their  supper  by  themselves  in  the  dining-room,  an 
apartment  rarely  put  to  such  a  use,  it  being  commonly 
employed  as  a  sitting-room. 

By  the  time  their  clothes  were  dry  their  supper  was 
ready ;  and  with  all  possible  expedition  they  dressed 
for  the  much-longed-for  meal,  which  they  found  to 
consist  of  cold  boiled  ham,  hot  biscuit,  potcheese,  rasp 
berries  and  cream,  four  kinds  of  cake,  and  green  tea. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie,  famished  though  they 
were,  yet  determined  to  let  pass  no  opportunity  to 
show  off  their  gentility,  loftily  survej'ed  the  ample  re 
past,  and  remarked  superciliously  that  they  never  ate 
ham,  after  which,  without  further  pretense  to  aristoc 
racy  of  appetite,  they  fairly  bankrupted  the  table.  By 
this  time,  the  rain  having  ceased,  they  withdrew  to  the 
piazza,  from  which  there  was  a  fine  view  of  the  moun 
tains  ;  and  here  they  contentedly  sat  and  ridiculed  every 
thing  they  had  eaten  and  everything  in  the  house  which 
they  had  seen;  then  they  penetrated  into  the  bosom  of 
the  farmer's  family,  whom  they  found  in  the  kitchen. 

The  men  were  smoking  on  the  porch  around  the 
back  door;  the  farmer's  wife  and  her  grown-up  daugh 
ter  were  washing  up  the  dishes. 

Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  condescended  to  accept 

seats,  though  with  great  loftiness,  and  explained  their 

desilfe  to  procure  some  kind  of  a  conveyance  for  a 

couple  of  hours  the  next  morning.    They  wanted  a 

7 


98  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

horse  which  they  could  drive  themselves  (and  they 
were  privately  resolved  to  make  him  accomplish  the 
journey  in  the  time  specified). 

The  farmer's  wife  introduced  her  husband,  who  was 
smoking  a  pipe  in  the  doorway;  but  he  was  not  very 
cordial  in  his  greeting,  nor  did  he  appear  to  cudgel  his 
brains  very  much  to  study  how  to  advance  their  inter 
ests.  Not  to  mention  the  way  his  girl,  Jenny,  had  had 
her  feelings  hurt  at  the  hotel,  he  had  suffered  not  a  lit 
tle  at  the  hands  of  the  summer  boarders  of  the  vicinage 
himself.  They  came  to  his  house  and  drank  up  all  his 
spruce  beer  and  buttermilk  without  offering  to  pay  a 
penny;  they  went  through  his  woods  and  killed  his 
trees,  stripping  off  the  bark;  they  took  down  his  pas 
ture  bars  and  left  them  down  and  let  all  his  cattle  and 
sheep  into  the  road  for  him  to  hunt  for,  or,  perhaps, 
rescue  from  the  pound  after  paying  his  fine ;  they  ran 
over  his  wheat  fields  as  if  tramping  down  wheat 
would  make  it  grow  and  all  the  easier  to  cut;  and  one 
of  their  bird  dogs  killed  one  of  his  finest  turkeys  one 
day,  thus  throwing  a  large  family  of  little  ones  upon 
the  world  to  be  devoured  by  hawks;  and  they  stopped 
and  impressed  him  into  their  service  for  repairs  to 
their  carriages  or  harness  when  he  had  his  own  work 
to  do,  or  was  already  tired  out — even  to  the  extent  of 
taking  off  a  wagon  wheel  to  grease. 

So  when  he  turned  and  acknowledged  the  introduc 
tion  to  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie,  he  was  by  no  means 
the"  same  hospitable  old  codger  he  always  was  when 
the  neighbors  dropped  in  or  when  the  minister  called ; 
for,  besides  all  the  rest,  his  wife  had  told  him  what 
thej7  said  about  not  eating  ham. 

His  own  horses,  he  said,  were  not  fit  for  a  lady  to 
drive ;  besides  which,  he  was  working  them  and  was 
very  busy  getting  in  his  rye. 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  99 

"Dear  me!"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  arrogantly,  "can't 
you  spare  your  horse  for  just  two  hours  ?" 

"  Can't  do  it,  r'ally,"  returned  the  farmer,  studying 
the  toe  of  his  boot  very  attentively,  but  determined  to 
stick  to  what  he  said.  "  I  ain't  got  only  four  horses 
now,  anyway,  and  there  ain't  none  of  'em  I  could  trust 
a  lady  to  drive.  None  o'  my  women  folks  ever  drive 
'em.  They  skeer  too  easy;  and  one  on  'em  r'ars,  and 
t'other  two  are  only  colts — they  was  only  broke  to 
harness  last  fall." 

"  Dear  me !  what'll  we  do ! "  cried  the  disappointed 
Gipps  family  in  a  chorus,  gazing-  in  despair  at  the 
hard-hearted  farmer. 

"  It's  very  important  for  us  to  get  off  from  here  early 
in  the  morning ;  and  we  only  want  a  horse  two  hours," 
pleaded  Mrs.  Gipps. 

"  I'm  sorry,"  replied  the  farmer,  knocking  the  ashes 
from  his  pipe  without  looking  at  the  distressed  ladies; 
and,  thinking  all  the  time  about  the  bird  dog,  and  the 
wagon  wheel  he  greased,  and  about  how  he  and  his 
wife  and  his  girl  Jenny  had  been  looked  down  upon 
by  the  city  people,  he  added  inexorably,  "  I'd  send  one 
o'  my  men  with  ye,  but  you  see  how  I'm  fixed — my 
rye's  got  to  be  got  in." 

"  Well,  then,  dear  me ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps,  pettishly, 
"  can't  you  tell  us  where  we  can  get  a  horse  ?  " 

"  No,  I  can't,  r'alty,"  coldly  replied  the  farmer,  fold 
ing  his  arms  and  puffing  away  at  his  pipe.  "  Everbody 
about  here  is  awful  busy  getting  in  their  rye;  and  I'm 
sure  I  don't  know  where  you  could  get  a  rig." 

"  Father,  don't  you  think,"  interposed  the  daughter, 
a  little  ashamed  of  her  father's  behavior,  "  that  p'raps 
they  might  get  Bowler's  horse  and  buggy  ?  " 

"  Wall,  I  don't  know,"  replied  the  father,  "p'raps  so. 
But  I  guess  Bowler's  gett'n'  in  his  rye,  too," 


100  COL.   JUDSOJST  OF  ALABAMA. 

"Wall,  for  my  part/'  said  the  farmer's  wife,  thinking 
her  husband  was  piling1  on  the  vindictive  a  little  too 
steep  considering  that  these  boarders  didn't  own  the 
bird-dog  and  that  they  hadn't  let  down  the  bars  yet, 
though  to  be  sure  they  said  they  never  ate  ham;  but 
as  long  as  they  did  eat  it,  she  was  willing  to  accept 
that  as  an  apology  and  overlook  the  offense.  "  For  my 
part/'  she  said,  "I  think  Bowler's  folks  would  be  glad 
o'  the  chance  to  let  out  their  hoss." 

Bowler,  she  explained,  resided  in  the  next  house,  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  beyond. 

"  If  you  like,  I'll  send  one  o'  the  boys  to  see,"  she 
added. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  having  by  this  time  abated  somewhat 
of  her  arrogance,  declared  that  she  would  consider  it 
a  great  favor;  and  the  boy  set  off,  presently  returning 
with  Mrs.  Bowler,  a  thin,  unwholesome-looking  little 
woman  in  a  green  calico  sun-bonnet. 

The  Bowlers  belonged  to  quite  a  different  stratum 
of  society  altogether  from  that  to  which  the  Hardings 
belonged.  Bowler  owned  only  about  forty  or  fifty 
acres;  a  part  of  the  time  he  worked  out  by  the  day 
among  the  larger  farmers;  and  Mrs.  Bowler  was  al 
ways  trying  to  get  enough  ahead  to  be  able  to  fix  up 
the  house  so  she  could  take  summer  boarders;  for 
their  house  had  a  fine  view  of  the  mountains,  and  they 
had  an  excellent  well  of  water  and  some  splendid  old 
shade  trees;  so  she  was  very  glad  of  the  opportunity 
to  let  the  horse  and  wagon,  as  Bowler  could  get  along 
without  it  for  half  a  day. 

She  was  very  timid  and  greatly  overawed  by  the 
august  presence  of  two  such  magnificent  city  ladies; 
and  aware  of  her  own  deficiencies  as  well  as  of  the  de 
ficiencies  of  both  the  horse  and  wagon,  she  made  the 
bargain  without  once  raising  her  eyes  or  attempting 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  101 

to  look  them  in  the  face;  so  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie 
had  it  all  their  own  way  and  made  the  compact  to  suit 
themselves. 

They  would  pay  a  dollar  and  keep  the  carriage  from 
two  to  three  hours! 

"  It  will  depend  on  how  fast  your  horse  goes  about 
when  we  shall  send  him  back,"  said  Mrs.  Gipps,  trying 
to  throw  the  responsibility  on  the  horse. 

"  Yes/'  meekly  assented  Mrs.  Bowler,  "  and — on  the 
distance,"  but  this  timid  hint  drew  forth  no  explana 
tion.  Mrs.  Gipps  dodged  the  question  by  abruptly  in 
quiring  if  the  horse  was  perfectly  safe,  and  if  there 
was  any  danger  of  his  running  away. 

This  latter  branch  of  the  question  brought  the  blush 
of  shame  to  poor  Mrs.  Bowler's  mouldy  cheek.  "  You 
couldn't  git  him  to  run,  to  save  you,"  she  replied. 
"  He's  perfectly  safe  and  gentle;  only  he's  awful  slow; 
but  I'll  give  you  the  whip,  and  you  can  make  him  trot 
on  a  level." 

"  Well,  if  he's  that  slow,"  quickly  returned  Mrs. 
Gipps,  "  there's  no  knowing  how  long  it'll  take  to  go 
where  we  want  to  go;  though  it  isn't  far." 

"  Oh,  well,  as  to  that,"  replied  Mrs.  Bowler,  feeling 
hard  pushed,  "  you  needn't  to  worry.  Bowler'll  man 
age  to  get  along.  Of  course  I  know  he's  awful  slow." 

"  Guess  we'll  have  to  work  our  passage,  ma,"  tit 
tered  Miss  Gipps;  and  Mrs.  Bowler  took  her  leave  very 
much  discomfited,  though  gratified  at  the  prospect  of 
making  a  dollar. 

As  soon  as  the  poor  woman  departed,  Mrs.  Gipps 
and  Miss  Tillie,  anxious  to  establish  their  character  as 
people  of  wealth  and  fashion,  immediately  began  apol 
ogizing  for  the  hard  bargain  they  had  driven,  by  nar 
rating  their  adventures  and  inveighing  against  the 
extortion  to  which  they  had  been  everywhere  sub- 


102  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

jected.  In  speaking  of  these  latter  matters,  the  hotel 
bill  at  Fire  Island,  where  they  said  they  stayed  a  week, 
became  fifty-six  dollars;  the  lost  umbrella  was  worth 
fifteen  dollars,  the  telegram  cost  two  dollars  and  a 
half,  meals  on  the  boat  were  a  dollar  apiece,  they  gave 
a  couple  of  dollars  to  the  stewardess  and  a  five-dollar 
bill  to  the  steward ;  and  finally  the  livery  bill  up  the 
mountains  was  twenty  dollars. 

Hearing  all  these  magnificent  stories  and  believing 
them  implicitly,  Mrs.  Harding  sent  her  daughter  to 
put  two  extra  rugs  down  in  her  guests'  room,  directed 
her  to  fill  the  best  lamp,  and  to  put  another  clean 
towel  in  the  room;  and  the  next  morning  (apologizing 
for  having  no  "  butcher's  meat ")  she  gave  them  a 
breakfast  of  fried  ham  and  eggs,  fried  potatoes,  hot 
biscuit,  raspberry  pie  (with  a  top  crust),  doughnuts, 
coffee,  and  a  pitcher  of  "  whole  milk  ";  and  for  the  two 
meals  for  both,  and  their  lodging,  she  charged  them 
three  dollars. 

"  Now,"  whispered  Mrs.  Gipps,  as  they  seated  them 
selves  on  the  piazza  to  wait  for  Mrs.  Bowler  with  the 
carriage,  "  we'll  have  to  look  to  the  colonel  for  a  loan, 
cert'n';  for  I've  got  only  seven  dollars  and  a  half  left." 

"  Well,  don't  fret  about  that,"  replied  Miss  Tillie,  de 
termined  to  throw  away  dull  care.  "  It  doesn't  give 
me  a  particle  of  uneasiness;  and  why  should  it  you  ? 
The  colonel  is  a  perfect  gentleman;  and  when  we  tell 
him  how  we've  been  fleeced  he'll  offer  us  a  loan  with 
out  waiting  to  be  ast.  So  don't  you  say  another  word 
to  me  about  money  till  we  get  there.  I  like  to  enjoy 
myself.  I  despise  to  be  frett'n'  about  money.  I  know 
I'm  goin'  to  marry  a  rich  man,  and  I'm  not  going  to 
worry  myself  to  death  about  expenses." 

"Well,  we've  got  this  carriage  cheap — that's  one 
good  thing,"  mused  Mrs.  Gipps;  "and  it's  time  that 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  103 

woman  was  here  with  it,"  she  added,  suddenly  rousing 
up.  "  What  does  she  mean  by  being  so  late  as  this,  I 
wonder!  What  a  miserable,  good-for-noth'n',  shilly 
shally,  shiftless  thing1  she  must  be ! " 

Mrs.  Bowler  had  agreed  to  bring-  around  the  horse 
and  buggy  at  nine  o'clock,  and  to  be  punctual;  but  at 
nine-thirty  she  had  not  yet  appeared.  Miss  Tillie  and 
her  mother,  with  the  satchel  at  their  side,  still  sat 
awaiting  her  on  the  front  piazza. 

"Now,  I  tell  you  what  it  is!"  cried  Miss  Tillie  at 
last,  looking  at  her  watch  and  then  in  the  direction  of 
the  Bowlers',  "that  woman  ain't  comin'  a  single  step! 
She  wasn't  satisfied  with  the  price." 

"  What  in  the  world  shall  we  do  ? "  groaned  Mrs. 
Gipps. 

"  Less  take  the  satchel  and  Walk  over  and  let  on  we 
didn't  mind  the  walk;  and  if  we  find  she's  gone  back 
on  us,  less  offer  her  a  dollar  and  a  half." 

"  Very  well,"  replied  Mrs.  Gipps,  with  a  sigh. 

"  You  carry  the  satchel  till  I  put  on  my  gloves,"  said 
Miss  Tillie,  "  and  then  I'll  take  it."  But  as  she  had  only 
concluded  her  labors  on  the  last  button  as  they  reached 
the  Bowlers'  dooryard,  the  mother  carried  it  the 
whole  way. 

As  they  reached  the  picturesque  but  somewhat  di 
lapidated  abode  of  the  Bowlers,  they  found  Mrs. 
Bowler  just  "hitching  up."  "He"  had  gone  to  work, 
she  explained,  and  that  was  why  she  was  doing  it  her 
self;  and  as  they  entered  the  dooryard  she  was  en 
gaged  in  driving  nails  into  some  part  of  the  bug-gy 
with  a  hammer. 

"Dear  me! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  arrogantly,  as  soon  as 
it  became  evident  that  Mrs.  Bowler  harbored  no 
thought  of  "  going  back "  on  her  bargain,  "  here  we 
have  been  waiting  for  you  half  an  hour,  and  had  to 


104  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

walk  this  frightful  distance,  and  you  not  ready 
yet!" 

"  Why !  is  it  nine  already ! "  cried  Mrs.  Bowler,  in 
affright.  "My  sakes!  how  time  does  slip  away!  I 
hope  you'll  excuse  me.  I  had  no  idea  it  was  so  late. 
My  clock  don't  go.  It's  been  out  o'  order  now  for 
more'n  a  year  and  ain't  got  fixed  yet,  but  I  hope  to  get 
it  in  order  this  fall." 

"  Well,  it's  to  be  hoped  you  will,"  sarcastically  re 
torted  Miss  Tillie.  "  Poor  ma  is  tired  half  to  death 
and  so  am  I;  and  we  had  this  satchel  to  carry.  Ma, 
let  me  hold  it,  you  look  so  beat  out." 

"  I'm  real  sorry,  I  am  indeed,"  replied  Mrs.  Bowler, 
backing  around  the  horse  for  them  to  get  into  the 
bugg3r,  and  striving  hard,  in  her  mild,  meek  way,  to 
maintain  the  attitude  and  countenance  of  a  peer. 
Though  but  a  small  farmer's  wife  and  unused  to  being 
treated  with  deference  by  any  one,  she  was  by  no 
means  accustomed  to  being  flouted  at  and  treated  as 
a  vassal  or  serf — except,  perhaps,  by  Bowler.  "  It  was 
my  fault,"  she  said  apologetically.  "I  ought  to  'a' 
begun  sooner;  but  I'm  bring'n'  up  our  calf  by  hand ; 
an'  this  morning,  the  little  slut!  she  kicked  her  pail 
over,  an'  I  had  to  heat  another  pan  o'  milk  for  her! 
So  that's  the  way  time  goes;  and,  as  I  said,  I  didn't 
r'ally  know  it  was  so  late — and  I  looked  at  the  mark 
on  the  window  sill,  too." 

By  this  time  Mrs.  Gipps  and  Miss  Tillie  had  suc 
ceeded  in  climbing  into  the  wagon. 

It  was  a  top-buggy,  very  respectable  looking  at  first 
sight,  but  much  worn  and  out  of  repair;  and  poor  Mrs. 
Bowler,  as  they  seated  themselves  magnificently  on 
the  old,  worn-out  cushion  and  took  up  the  reins,  both 
looked  and  felt  that  she  was  swindling  them. 

"I'll  have  to  tell  you,"  she  said  in  deep  mortifica- 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY   IN   THE   CATSKILLS.  105 

tion,  "  that  you'll  have  to  be  a  little  keerf ul  about  how 
you  drive  down  hill.  I'm  afraid  o'  them  holdbacks; 
but  mebbe  they'll  do.  I've  been  driving-  some  nails  in. 
If  they  was  to  give  'way  you  might  be  killed,"  she 
added  nervously. 

"Well,  that's  pleasant,  I'm  sure!"  loftily  returned 
Miss  Tillie,  looking-  censorious  and  haughty.  "We 
ought  to  'a'  got  our  lives  insured,  ma." 

But  Mrs.  Gipps,  perversely  believing  the  woman  was 
only  speaking  a  word  in  the  interest  of  the  poor  old 
horse  to  protect  him  against  fast  driving,  only  prom 
ised  to  be  careful,  but  was  nevertheless  resolved  to 
'drive  as  fast  as  she  could  go. 

"  Can't  this  top  be  put  up  ?  "  peevishly  demanded 
Miss  Tillie,  as  the  hot  sun  fell  upon  them. 

"  The  top's  broken,"  replied  poor  Mrs.  Bowler,  look 
ing  ready  to  die  of  shame  and  conscious  guilt.  "  I'm 
sorry,  but  he  broke  it  this  spring  at  the  station.  An 
other  team  took  fright  and  backed  into  him,  and  it 
ain't  got  mended  yet,  though  he's  been  a-going  to  get 
it  done  I  don't  know  how  many  times." 

"  Well,  that's  nice,  I  must  say ! "  cried  the  mother 
and  daughter  in  a  scornful,  indignant  chorus. 

"  What's  the  use  of  a  top  if  it  can't  be  put  up  ?  "  ar 
rogantly  demanded  Mrs.  Gipps.  And  then,  satisfied 
that  Mrs.  B^owler  would  not  have  the  courage,  in  face 
of  these  facts,  to  increase  her  charges,  however  long 
the}r  might  keep  the  horse,  she  drove  off. 

And  greatly  elated  they  were.  The  morning  was 
lovely,  the  air  bracing,  the  horse  and  buggy  fairly  re 
spectable,  and  the  colonel  not  above  six  miles  away ! 
What  could  hinder  them  at  last  from  safely  arriving 
at  the  goal  of  their  ambition  ? 

As  soon  as  they  were  out  of  sight,  Mrs.  Gipps,  with 
whip  in  hand,  began  to  test  the  abilities  of  the  horse, 


106  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

which,  thus  far,  had  displayed  greater  energy  and 
activity  with  his  tail,  which  he  constantly  switched 
over  the  reins,  than  with  his  legs. 

Applying  the  whip  energetically  to  the  poor  beast's 
back,  she  succeeded  in  forcing  him  into  a  trot  for  a 
dozen  yards  or  so;  then  he  came  sluggishly  down  to  a 
very  deliberate  walk  again,  and  switched  his  tail  over 
the  reins. 

Mrs.  Gipps,  enraged  at  the  labor  of  removing  this 
burden,  at  every  other  minute,  from  the  reins,  kept  up 
a  constant  application  of  the  whip,  making  him  trot 
up  hill  and  down;  while  on  a  level,  when  there  was 
no  one  in  sight,  she  forced  him  into  a  gallop. 

"I'll  make  ye  go!"  she  yelled;  while  Miss  Tillie, 
looking  on  with  delight,  triumphantly  caroled  forth  a 
song: 

"  I  had  a  little  pony — his  name  was  Dapple  Gray; 
I  lent  him  to  a  lady  to  ride  a  mile  away. 
She  licked  him,  she  lashed  him,  she  drove  him  through  the 

mire;  - 
I  wouldn't  lend  my  pony  again  for  all  the  lady's  hire." 

In  this  way  they  traveled  about  three  miles.  The 
horse  was  reeking  with  foam,  and  could  be  kept  out  of 
the  slowest  and  feeblest  of  walks  only  by  a  constant 
application  of  the  whip  which  the  pitiless  driver  car 
ried  in  her  hand  all  the  time.  Miss  Tillie  was  still 
joyously  caroling  her  song;  and  Mrs.  Gipps,  as  they 
reached  the  top  of  a  long,  steep  hill,  lashing  the  horse 
with  more  energy  than  grace,  cried  out : 

"Now  get  along  with  ye!  You  needn't  think  you're 
go'n'  to  walk  down  hill  and  up  hill  too! " 

It  was  the  last  time  she  was  called  upon  for  that 
day  to  flourish  her  whip. 

The  jaded  animal  broke  into  his  ungainly,  sluggish 
gallop — his  favorite  gait  when  not  allowed  to  walk, 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY  IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  107 

jerking  the  carriage  violently  after  him;  and  the  next 
thing  the  hilarious  party  in  the  buggy  knew,  their 
hitherto  spiritless,  imperturbable  beast  gave  sudden 
and  overwhelming  proof  of  latent  power  and  energy 
utterly  unsuspected — kicking  and  plunging  and  appa 
rently  striving  to  jump  out  of  the  harness,  if  not  out 
of  his  very  skin,  and  running  at  a  furious  rate  down 
the  steep,  rocky  hill.  What  had  happened  to  cause  this 
sudden  and  awful  development  of  energy  neither  of 
the  astonished  and  terrified  females  in  the  buggy  once 
surmised,  both  of  them  having  long  ago  forgotten  Mrs. 
Bowler's  warning  concerning  the  holdbacks,  if,  indeed, 
they  knew  at  all  what  holdbacks  were,  or  what  they 
were  good  for,  much  less  what  would  happen  if  they 
should  suddenly  give  out,  as  was  now,  at  last,  the  case. 
But  they  knew  the  buggy  was  swaying  frightfully 
from  side  to  side,  jolting  violently  over  the  stones, 
shaking  them  up  till  their  teeth  chattered ;  and  it  was 
very  clear  that  a  smashup,  if  not  a  funeral  or  two, 
would  soon  be  numbered  among  the  adventures  of  their 
summer  travels,  and  that,  moreover,  in  a  very  unfavor 
able  location;  for  they  were  not  only  at  the  top  of  a 
very  steep  hill,  but  at  a  curve  of  the  road  with  a  stone 
wall  straight  ahead  on  one  side  of  the  highway  and  a 
high  embankment  on  the  other.  Now,  would  the 
horse,  maddened  brute  that  he  was,  even  though  only 
out  of  consideration  for  himself,  and  without  regard 
to  the  heartless  parties  in  the  buggy,  follow  the  bend 
of  the  road,  or  would  he  commit  the  suicidal  folly  of 
keeping  on  in  a  straight  line  and  dash  himself  and  his 
encumbrances  against  the  wall  ?  Evidences  pointed  to 
the  latter  course  as  inevitable ;  and  the  Gipps  family, 
for  the  first  time  in  years,  spasmodically  embraced 
one  another;  but  finding  no  hope  of  succor  or  salva 
tion  in  one  another's  arms,  they  threw  each  other  off 


108  COL.  JUDSOIST  OF  ALABAMA. 

like  the  repellent  forces  of  two  electrified  bodies;  and 
without  consultation  or  any  preconcerted  arrangement, 
they  simultaneously  leaped  from  the  carriage  and  went 
together  down  the  embankment,  rolling  over  and  over 
the  loose  stones  and  loose  earth,  snatching  fruitlessly 
at  the  tufts  of  coarse  grass  growing  out  of  the  gravel, 
till  it  seemed  to  them  both  that  they  would  never 
reach  bottom;  but  at  last  there  was  a  splash;  cold 
water  penetrated  in  places  to  their  skin  and  dashed 
over  their  faces.  They  had  brought  up  in  a  shallow 
frog-pond  at  the  foot  of  the  embankment ! 

Miss  Tillie  was  the  first  to  express  her  emotion. 

"That  devilish  horse!  That  woman  ought  to  be 
sued  for  damages !  Oh,  I'm  killed !  " 

She  rose  staggering,  with  difficulty  dragging  her 
feet  out  of  the  mud  at  the  bottom  of  the  pond. 

"  Can't  you  get  out  ?  "  she  cried  censoriously  to  her 
mother,  who  was  still  floundering  in  the  mud  and 
slime. 

"  Help  me ! "  feebly  moaned  the  mother.  "  I  guess 
my  bones  are  all  broke.  I  feel  awful." 

"I  guess  you  can't  be  hurt  more'n  me! "  replied  the 
affectionate  daughter.  "  I'm  most  killed ! " 

The  poor  woman,  with  the  ungracious  aid  of  her  un 
feeling  offspring,  limped  painfully  out  of  the  frog-pond 
and  sat  down,  groaning,  on  a  rock  in  the  muddy  sides 
of  the  embankment;  while  Miss  Tillie,  somewhat  re 
covered  from  the  shock  of  her  fall,  began  searching 
the  pond  with  a  stick. 

"  What  are  you  lookin*  for  ?  "  called  out  her  mother 
in  fault-finding  tones. 

Miss  Tillie  fixed  her  gaze  upon  her  parent  with  a 
fearful  scowl.  She  had  thus  far  refrained  from  divulg 
ing  her  misfortune,  knowing  her  mother  in  ill  condi 
tion  to  bear  it;  but  now  that  she  began  to  despair  of 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  109 

retrieving1  her  loss,  it  was  necessary  to  her  own  peace 
of  mind  to  find  somebody  or  something-  to  blame. 

"If  you  hadn't  beaten  that  horse  so  unmercifully 
this  wouldn't  have  happened ! "  she  cried. 

"  What  you  lost  ?  "  demanded  her  mother,  apprehen 
sively. 

"  I've  lost  my  teeth,  that's  what  I've  lost/'  fiercely 
retorted  the  lovely  damsel. 

"Good  Lord!"  cried  the  mother,  as  the  full  import 
of  the  misfortune  dawned  upon  her — a  rich  son-in-law 
dissolving-  into  thin  air,  a  grand  speculation  coming" 
to  naught,  a  homeward  journey  with  an  empty  treas 
ury,  the  mortgage  foreclosed! 

She  hobbled  anxiously  to  the  edge  of  the  pond  and 
with  another  stick  joined  industriously  in  the  search; 
but  it  was  all  in  vain.  They  fished  up  nothing  but 
long,  green  ropes  of  slime,  and  were  obliged  to  aban 
don  the  quest;  and  together,  and  not  without  some 
difficulty,  the  two  painfully  crawled  up  the  steep  em 
bankment  to  the  road,  where  they  found  the  carriage 
scattered  promiscuously  about  the  country — the  front 
wheels  in  the  middle  of  the  road,  the  shafts  broken  on 
the  ground  near  the  wall,  while  the  rear  wheels  and 
the  top  of  the  buggy  had  gone  over  the  wall  and  lay  in 
a  heap  on  the  ground  in  the  rocky  pasture  beyond ;  and 
the  horse,  dragging  along-  with  him  the  reins  and  the 
harness,  which  was  broken  in  every  direction,  was 
tranquilly  grazing  under  the  shade  of  some  tall  hick 
ory-trees  half  way  down  the  hill. 

"  What  a  narrer  escape ! "  g-asped  Mrs.  Gipps,  as  she 
surveyed  the  scene;  and  seating  herself  slowly  and 
painfully  on  a  rock  by  the  roadside,  she  murmured 
feebly,  "I've  hurt  my  knee  awful,  and  I'm  afraid  I've 
sprained  my  wrist." 

On  taking  a  survey  of  the  surrounding's  and  calcu- 


110  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

lating1  the  distance  they  had  traveled,  they  decided  to 
conclude  their  journe3r  on  foot  across  lots.  From  the 
top  of  the  hill  on  which  they  stood  they  could  see,  diag 
onally  across  the  pasture  and  woods  beyond,  the  top 
of  a  tall,  red,  old-fashioned  brick  building-  on  a  side 
road;  and  they  remembered  that  Mr.  Stephen  Has- 
brouck,  the  young-  man  who  had  conveyed  the  colonel 
to  his  destination,  told  them  that  it  was  half  a  mile 
teeyond  "  the  old  brick  church." 

"  I  don't  believe  it's  more'n  a  mile  across  lots,"  as 
severated  Miss  Tillie;  "and  after  spending  all  this 
money  I,  for  one,  had  rather  walk  than  give  up.-" 

"  It's  more'n  a  mile  to  that  church,"  responded  Mrs. 
Gipps,  dolefully,  "  and  that  place  where  the  colonel  is 
is  half  a  mile  further,  and  my  knee  hurts  me  awful, 
and  so  does  my  wrist.  Still,  we've  not  got  enough 
money  to  get  home  with;  so  I  don't  see  but  what  we've 
got  to  go  on." 

"You  don't  have  to  go  on  your  hands  and  knees, 
that's  one  good  thing,"  feelingly  remarked  the  affec 
tionate  daughter.  "  So  your  wrist  can't  prevent  your 
walking;  and  I  guess  as  soon  as  we  can  find  some 
water  to  clean  off  this  stuff  you'll  be  all  right.  You 
got  off  easy,  compared  to  me." 

Miss.  Tillie  then,  as  the  most  able-bodied  member  of 
the  family,  started  in  search  of  their  missing  property, 
and  succeeded  in  finding  their  parasols  half  way  down 
the  hill,  somewhat  dusty  and  a  little  frayed  out,  but 
otherwise  uninjured.  The  satchel  she  found,  after 
climbing  the  stone  wall  into  the  pasture,  lying  under 
the  top  of  the  buggy  in  perfect  condition,  though 
not  easily  dragged  forth.  But  her  mother's  dolman 
was  pinned  to  the  earth  and  driven  deep  into  the  soil 
by  several  splinters  from  the  wreckage  of  the  wagon 
seat,  and  for  all  the  purposes  of  dolman,  for  the 
present  at  least,  it  appeared  to  be  useless. 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN   THE   CATSKILLS.  Ill 

"  Oh,  dear !  how  my  knee  pains  me !  and  my  wrist 
too ! "  moaned  Mrs.  Gripps,  as  they  started  off  across 
the  rocky,  hilly  pasture. 

"  You  better  talk ! "  cried  the  loving  daughter,  pet 
tishly.  "You  got  off  lucky,  compared  to  me!  What 
am  I  going  to  do  without  my  teeth  when  we  meet  the 
colonel  ?  " 

Now,  Miss  Tillie,  from  the  first  moment  that  she  be 
gan  to  fear  her  teeth  were  gone  forever,  commenced  to 
formulate  a  scheme  for  her  relief,  otherwise  she  would 
not  have  gone  on  one  step  toward  the  admirer  of  her 
cold,  passionless,  Northern  beauty. 
"  You  can't  expect  any  man  to  go  crazy  in  love  with 
a  girl,"  she  added  insinuatingly,  "  when  he  knows  all 
about  her  teeth  before  he  marries  her." 

"  Well,  what  are  you  going  to  do  about  it  ?  "  snap 
pishly  demanded  the  mother,  suspecting  all  along  the 
designs  of  her  selfish  offspring. 

"  It's  as  much  to  your  interest  as  it  is  to  mine,"  pur 
sued  Miss  Tillie,  evasively. 

"  Well,  out  with  it ! "  peevishly  retorted  the  by  no 
means  self-sacrificing  mother. 

"  He  ain't  courting  you,"  continued  the  artful  daugh 
ter.  "  I  know  one  person's  teeth  don't  fit  another  per 
son,  but  it's  the  best  I  can  do.  You  don't  show  it  so 
when  your  teeth  are  out.  If  you  were  in  the  fix  I  am, 
I'd  lend  you  mine." 

"Matilda  Gipps!"  screamed  the  mother,  "you  al 
ways  was, a  selfish  girl!  " 

"Oh!  if  you  don't  consider  it  to  your  own  interest 
as  much  as  mine,  don't  lend  'em ! "  retorted  Miss  Tillie, 
haughtily. 

"  Of  course  I'm  going  to  lend  'em,"  snarled  back  the 
mother.  "You  don't  want  'em  this  very  minute,  do 
you?" 


112  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

By  this  time  they  had  descended  the  hill  in  the  pas 
ture  and  arrived  in  sight  of  a  wide,  shallow  brook, 
where  Miss  Tillie  proposed  that  they  should  make 
their  toilet. 

"  How  are  we  ever  going  to  get  over  this  brook  ?  " 
demanded  Mrs.  Gipps,  querulously. 

But  Miss  Tillie  had  already  espied  a  small,  round- 
bottomed  boat  moored  to  a  stake  behind  some  bushes. 

"If  we  can't  row,  we  can  pole  the  boat  across,"  she 
said;  and  they  began  their  much  needed  ablutions. 

"  It  does  seem  hard  we  couldn't  'a'  rolled  into  decent 
water,"  sighed  Miss  Tillie,  as  she  struggled  to  repair 
the  damages  wrought  by  the  frog-pond. 

After  laboring  in  vain  for  a  long  time  to  restore  her 
valued  habiliments  to  their  pristine  splendor,  she 
paused  again  in  her  work,  exclaiming  in  tones  of  abso 
lute  conviction : 

"  It's  no  use !  My  clothes  are  ruined !  My  hat  looks 
like  I'd  worn  it  forty  years !  It's  no  use  talking,  'tain't 
safe  driving  a  strange  horse." 

With  these  melancholy  plaints,  she  completed  her 
toilet  and  turned  to  her  mother,  who,  having  appar 
ently  forgotten  her  engagement  about  the  teeth,  was 
seated  on  a  rock  under  an  oak,  nursing  her  wounds : 

"  Well,  are  you  going  to  lend  me  your  teeth,  or  not  ?  " 
she  peevishly  demanded.  "  I  guess  if  you  were  in  my 
fix  I  wouldn't  wait  to  be  ast." 

"  Take  'em ! "  snarled  the  ungenerous  mother. 

Miss  Tillie,  with  an  air  of  unconcealed  disgust  and 
loathing,  took  the  teeth  in  the  tips  of  her  fingers,  went 
down  to  the  brook,  washed  and  wiped  them  dry,  and 
then,  contemplating  them  for  a  moment,  exclaimed: 

"Ugh!  It  makes  me  sick  to  think  of  wearing  any 
person  else's  teeth!"  With  this  final  burst  of  filial 
affection,  she  thrust  the  plate  into  her  mouth;  but  it 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  113 

was  a  far  better  fit  than  she  had  dared  hope,  and  once 
more  her  spirits  rose  and  she  felt  that  her  fortune  was 
assured. 

"  Come  on ! "  she  called  gayly  as  she  paddled  the 
boat  from  its  moorings  and  placed  the  satchel  in  the 
bottom.  "  It's  almost  noon  and  I'm  half-starved.  If 
we're  ever  going,  less  go." 

"  I  guess  you  can't  be  no  hungrier  'n  me/'  returned 
the  wretched  mother,  limping  painfully  to  the  boat. 
"What  are  you  trying  to  do?"  she  shrieked  as  her 
gifted  daughter,  seizing  an  oar,  began  knowingly  pol 
ing  the  boat  across  the  brook. 

"  I  guess  I  know  what  I'm  about,"  retorted  Miss 
Tillie.  "  There  ain't  more  'n  two  inches  o'  water  in  this 
brook,  anyhow.  You  ain't  going  to  drown  to-day." 

"  Well,  I  don't  want  to  get  wet,"  yelled  the  mother 
again  as  Miss  Tillie,  standing  in  the  middle  of  the 
boat,  punched  the  river  bottom  maliciously  -with  her 
oar. 

"  I  want  to  get  across,"  she  said.  "  You  needn't  be 
afraid.  This  ain't  none  o'  your  frog-ponds." 

"Oh!  oh!  we're  go'n'  over!"  again  shrieked  the 
wretched  passenger,  as  the  boat  tipped  first  to  one 
side  and  then  the  other. 

"  Let  it  go  over,  then ! "  indignantly  retorted  Miss 
Tillie.  "  You  make  such  a  rumpus  I've  a  mind  to  up 
set  it  a  purpose." 

But,  despite  her  declarations,  she  was  by  no  means 
anxious  to  upset  the  boat,  even  out  of  revenge;  her 
opinion  of  her  ability  to  pole  a  boat  safely  across  a 
brook,  however,  exceeded  any  just  claim  to  skill  in  that 
direction;  but  to  convince  her  incredulous  parent  of 
her  natural  gift  to  do  anything  she  undertook,  she 
gave  one  more  tremendous  lunge  at  the  pebbly  bottom 
of  the  stream,  the  boat  reeled  drunkenly  through  the 
8 


114  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

water,  and  the  frantic  passenger,  in  the  wild  endeavor 
to  "balance  it  on  both  sides,  succeeded  in  overturning 
it. 

The  water  was  not  deep  enough  to  cause  even  the 
briefest  delay  in  the  family  hostilities  which  naturally 
ensued,  Mrs.  Gipps,  embracing  the  satchel,  which  had 
fallen  upon  her,  crying  out,  as  she  hurried  to  wade 
ashore : 

"  Matilda  Gipps !  you  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  your 
self  !  Here  I  am  spending  my  last  dollar  to  get  you  a 
husband,  and  lending  you  my  teeth  into  the  bargain, 
and,  as  if  I  ain't  suffered  enough  gett'n'  thrown  out  o' 
the  buggy,  you  go  and  upset  that  boat !  You  done  it 
a  purpose!  You  spiteful,  good-for-nothing  girl,  you!" 

"  You  better  talk ! "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  surveying  her 
dripping  clothes  which  she  had  so  recently  labored  to 
clean.  "  You  upset  the  boat  yourself !  Look  at  me ! 
Sopping  wet!  and  I  want  my  dinner,  and  now  got  to 
stay  here  till  my  clothes  are  dry!  I'm  that  hungry  I 
could  eat  a  corpse ! " 

After  some  further  animated  interchange  of  compli 
ments,  some  further  acrimonious  discussion  of  the 
cause  of  the  accident,  and  some  futile  attempts  on  the 
part  of  each  to  shirk  the  whole  responsibility  of  the 
catastrophe  upon  the  other,  they  set  to  work  to  dry 
their  clothes,  their  efforts  in  this  direction  being  gen 
erously  supplemented  by  those  of  the  sun,  which  was 
now  high  in  the  heavens  and  pouring  a  scorching  heat 
upon  the  rocks  and  dried  earth  around  them. 

Absorbed  in  this  occupation,  hostilities,  for  the  time 
being,  were  suspended;  and  mother  and  daughter,  feel 
ing  a  deep  pecuniary  interest  in  one  another's  proper 
appearance  on  coming  into  the  presence  of  the  colonel 
consulted  together  amicably  on  the  business  in  hand. 

"  For  my  part,"  said  Miss  Tillie,  with  satisfaction, 


THE   GIPPS  FAMILY   IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  115 

after  a  second  or  third  examination  of  her  black  silk 
dress  as  it  lay  drying1  on  the  short  grass,  "  I'm  begin 
ning-  to  be  glad  of  it  that  we  did  get  upset.  My  dress 
looks  all  the  better  for  being  washed/'  And  her  youth 
ful  buoyancy  returning,  she  again  began  to  weave 
bright  romances  about  the  colonel,  smiling  and  ogling 
to  herself  as  she  turned  the  clothes  on  the  grass,  and 
occasionally  dropping  a  remark  or  so  to  her  mother  as 
to  what  she  should  do  or  what  she  should  have  when 
she  and  the  colonel  were  married. 

The  black  silk  dresses  were  nearly  dry,  and  Miss 
Tillie,  in  graceful  dishabille,  was  sitting  on  a  rock 
under  the  shade  of  a  broad-spreading  maple,  ruminat 
ing  on  the  bliss  of  being  the  colonel's  bride,  and  bathed 
in  bright  reveries  of  the  manj'  black  silk  dresses  she 
was  to  have  in  the  near  future,  when,  glancing  ab 
stractedly  around  the  vast  lonely  pasture,  the  dreamy 
tenderness  suddenly  faded  out  of  her  eye,  an  expres 
sion  of  terror  overspread  her  countenance,  and,  with  a 
yell  that  was  neither  musical  nor  dainty,  she  leaped  to 
her  feet. 

"Gracious  heavens!   what  you  screeching  'bout !" 
cried  the  mother,  looking  hastily  around  the  pasture. 
She  had  no  occasion  to  await  an  explanation. 

A  huge,  black,  horned  animal,  with  a  short  thick 
neck  and  fiery  red  nostrils,  was  charging  down  upon 
them  with  a  low,  deep  roar,  from  the  hill  above. 

Without  pausing  for  consultation  or  comment,  they 
seized  their  bonnets  and  their  black  silk  dresses,  but 
neither  of  them  stopped  for  satchel,  gloves,  or  ribbons. 
The  bull  was  rushing  furiously  upon  them;  and  the 
Gipps  family,  now  thoroughly  reunited  and  unani 
mous,  started  for  the  nearest  fence,  which  skirted  along 
a  swampy  woods. 

The  race  was  distinguished  by  neither  grace  nor  any 


116  COL.  JUDSOtf  OF  ALABAMA. 

pretension  to  style  or  gentility,  but  was  characterized 
solely  by  an  incredible  degree  of  speed,  of  which,  to 
their  d3ring  day,  the  Gipps  family  declared  they  had 
never  suspected  themselves  capable.  They  out-ran 
the  bull  by  nearly  a  dozen  yards,  victoriously  reached 
the  fence,  and  threw  themselves  and  their  black  silk 
dresses  over  without  any  regard  to  appearances  or 
any  observation  of  the  conventionalities  of  life.  No 
sooner  were  they  on  the  other  side  than  the  bull 
caught  up  with  them  and  charged  upon  the  fence  with 
such  fury  and  resolution  that  the  Gipps  family,  still 
unanimous,  seized  up  their  black  silk  dresses  and 
plunged  into  the  trackless  woods,  reckless  whither 
they  fled,  and  presently  found  themselves  floundering 
in  the  deep  black  mud  of  a  blackberry  bog  and  fight 
ing  with  the  blackberry  briars  in  a  wild  tussle  for  the 
possession  of  their  precious  silks  and  their  other  gar 
ments. 

"  It  does  seem  as  if  the  Old  Harry  is  to  pay  to-day ! " 
snarled  Miss  Tillie.  "  I'm  get'n'  all  scratched  up  and 
all  bitten  to  pieces,"  she  whined,  struggling  with  clouds 
of  mosquitoes  and  midges.  "  How'll  I  look  when  the 
colonel  sees  me!  Seems  queer  you  had  to  lead  the 
way  into  this  swamp ! " 

The  wretched  parent  was  too  busy  for  counter 
charges.  She  was  in  the  thickest  of  the  jungle  and 
the  softest  of  the  bog;  as  fast  as  she  extricated  one 
foot  from  the  mud,  the  other  sank  deeper  yet;  and  no 
sooner  did  she  rend  away  a  sleeve  or  a  ruffle  of  her 
sacred  gown  from  the  briars,  than  the  precious  lace 
trimmings  or  another  ruffle  was  caught  fast. 

She  could  find  no  respite  for  quarreling,  nor  was 
anything  more  heard  from  Miss  Tillie  for  some  time 
than  an  inarticulate  moan. 

It  seemed  an  age  before  they  reached  solid  ground ; 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY  IN  THE   CATSKILLS.  11? 

and  then,  still  in  the  woods  and  pestered  with  gnats 
and  mosquitoes,  they  sank  down  panting-  on  the  trunk 
of  a  fallen  tree,  not  only  soiled  and  bruised  and  their 
faces  and  hands  scratched  and  torn,  but  Miss  Tillie  had 
been  severely  stung-  over  the  eye  by  a  hornet;  and  for 
a  long  time  she  monopolized  all  the  groaning1  and  re 
pining,  the  mother,  not  daring  to  infringe  on  her 
daughter's  rights,  nursing  her  own  wounds  in  humble 
silence. 

"I  can  hear  water  running,"  she  ventured  at  last. 
"Less  try  and  find  it,"  she  added  timidly.  "Bathing- 
your  eye  in  cold  water  will  do  it  good ;  and  then  p'rhaps 
we  can  find  some  farmhouse  where  they  can  give  you 
something  to  take  the  sting  out  so  we  can  go  on." 
Miss  Tillie  replying  only  by  groans,  the  mother  con 
tinued  for  some  time  depicting  the  blessings  of  a  res 
pite  from  agony  to  be  found  in  a  little  arnica  or 
camphor  and  the  delights  of  a  good  substantial  farm 
house  dinner.  "It  won't  do  no  good  to  stay  here 
groaning  and  taking  on,"  she  said. 

"  Go  ahead  and  don't  have  so  much  to  say ! "  snarled 
Miss  Tillie  at  last,  rising  and  following1. 

They  soon  reached  a  clear  brook  of  water  tumbling 
down  over  rocks  from  the  hill  above  and  they  both 
bathed  their  wounds  and  their  heated  faces,  but  Miss 
Tillie's  ambition  and  spirit  had  received  a  severe 
check. 

"I'm  sure  I  don't  know  what  Fin  going  to  do,"  she 
whined,  striving  in  vain  to  assuage  the  pain  of  the 
sting  with  the  cold  water.  "  I  don't  see  how  I  can  go 
on,  my  face  is  swelled  so.  I  don't  want  the  colonel  to 
see  me  till  this  lump  goes  down." 

"  I'm  sure  I  don't  see  what  we're  go'n'  to  do,"  groaned 
Mrs.  Gipps,  bathing  her  own  wounds  and  the  scratches 
she  had  received  in  the  bushes,  all  of  which  pained  her 


118  COL.   JUDSOJST  OF  ALABAMA. 

severely,  nor  had  her  wrist  and  knee  by  any  means 
ceased  to  trouble  her.  "  I  don't  see  how  we're  ever 
go'n'  to  get  back  without  I  can  borrow  something1  of 
the  colonel.  I  thought,"  she  continued  artfully,  "  that 
nothing  would  ever  keep  you  from  follering  of  the 
colonel.  When  he's  got  that  Jew  woman  with  him, 
how  are  you  go'n'  to  know  whether  he'll  ever  think  o' 
you  again  ?  And  he  such  a  fickle  man!  Out  o'  sight, 
out  o'  mind.  She's  got  the  inside  track.  A  little  cam- 
phire  will  take  the  sting  all  out  of  your  face.  After 
coming  this  far  I  don't  want  to  give  up,  if  you  do." 

These  remarks  were  not  without  effect  upon  Miss 
Tillie. 

"I  guess  I  want  to  keep  on  as  much  as  ever  I  did," 
she  groaned.  "  I  guess  I  know  the  colonel's  fickle,  but 
how  can  I  ever  stand  it  to  have  him  see  me  with  such 
a  lump  over  my  eye  ?  I  can  feel  it.  Doesn't  it  look 
awful?" 

"Yes,  it  does,  now/' replied  the  astute  parent,  too 
wise  to  deny  the  sufferer  the  comfort  she  thus  sought. 
"  But  I  tell  you  I  know  all  about  hornet  stings.  Just 
as  soon  as  you  can  get  something  to  take  the  sting 
out,  the  swelling  will  go  down;  and,  anyhow,  the  colo 
nel  needn't  see  it.  You  can  go  to  bed  and  I'll  tell  him 
you're  sick.  Mebbe  this  is  all  for  the  best,"  she  added. 
"  Who  knows!  Some  men  wouldn't  like  anything  bet 
ter  'n  a  chance  to  propose  to  a  girl  when  she's  sick 
abed.  I've  read  o'  such  things.  I  tell  you,  Tillie,  you 
don't  know  what's  in  store  for  you.  I  never  want  to 
see  you  give  up  after  I've  spent  all  this  money  to  get 
you  a  rich  husband." 

"  I  ain't  go'n'  to  give  up,"  moaned  Miss  Tillie,  her 
hopes  and  ambitions  reawakened  by  this  picture  of  the 
interesting  turn  her  courtship  might  take.  "  I  think, 
myself,"  she  added  more  hopefully,  "  that  the  colonel 


THE   GIPPS   FAMILY   IN   THE   CATSKILLS.  119 

is  just  that  kind  of  man; "  and  she  painfully  joined  her 
mother  in  making  her  toilet  as  best  she  could;  and 
then  they  started  up  the  hill. 

At  the  top,  to  their  great  joy,  they  struck  a  well- 
beaten  path  and  soon  came  to  a  clearing  where  they 
could  look  across  a  long,  deep  hollow;  and  directly 
ahead  of  them,  apparently  less  than  half  a  mile,  they 
could  see  the  red  brick  church  which  they  had  seen 
earlier  in  the  morning. 

"  Thank  the  Lord ! "  cried  Mrs.  Gipps.  "  The  colonel 
can't  be  far  off  now :  and  I  bet  he'll  propose  to  you 
this  very  night ! " 

"  Hope  so ! "  plaintively  returned  Miss  Tillie,  as  she 
bravely  struggled  on,  holding  a  wet  handkerchief  to 
her  eye.  The  more  she  thought  about  it,  the  less  she 
felt  her  wounds;  and  resuming  her  dreams  and  speech 
by  turns,  she  discoursed  brokenly  as  they  followed  the 
path  through  the  woods.  "  Of  course  he'll  take  my 
hand.  It'll  be  lying  on  the  pillow.  If  he  does,  I  ain't 
going  to  jerk  it  away.  If  he  holds  it  as  long  as  he  did 
that  night  after  Dickel  left,  I  know  he'll  propose.  He 
can't  help  it !  The  colonel  loves  me !  If  he  shouldn't 
propose,  I  believe  I'd  go  raving  crazy." 

"  And  I  believe  I  would,  too,"  interposed  the  mother. 
"  After  spending  all  this  money,  and  me  with  only 
seven  dollars  and  a  half  to  get  back  with!  It  would 
be  awful ! " 

Miss  Tillie  paid  no  attention  to  these  mercenary  sen 
timents.  "  He'll  see  my  hand  lying  on  the  pillow,"  she 
resumed,  "  and  he'll  feel  bad  to  see  me  suffering  so,  and 
he'll  take  it,  and  hold  it,  and  talk,  and  talk,  his  way 
about  the  Southern  people  and  the  war — and  dear  me! 
how  scared  I'll  be  for  fear  something'll  happen,  like  it 
did  before,  to  keep  him  from  coming  to  the  point! 
But  I  can't  for  the  life  o'  me  think  what  can  happen 


120  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

now,"  she  added  hopefully.  "  I  don't  believe  anything 
will.  I  believe  he'll  propose  this  very  night!  If  he 
doesn't  propose  to  me,  I  don't  know  but  what  it'll  be 
a  good  plan  for  me  to  propose  to  him !  He's  a  South 
erner,  and  he  can't  say  no  to  a  woman ! " 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.      121 


CHAPTER  VIL 

THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS  AT  VAN  TASSEL'S. 

THE  colonel,  grandly  unconscious  that  anything  more 
was  required  of  him  by  the  Gipps  people  than  to  pay 
for  his  room  promptly  in  advance  and  behave  himself 
like  a  gentleman  and  a  Christian,  never  doubted  but 
that  he  was  perfectly  free  to  come  and  go  as  he 
pleased;  and  recent  occurrences  fortunately  render 
ing  his  presence  in  the  city  no  longer  necessary  till 
September,  on  leaving  Fire  Island  he  proceeded  to  the 
Gipps  mansion  to  give  up  his  room  and  remove  his 
baggage. 

He  found  Miss  Til  lie's  thoughtful  little  card  on  the 
door-bell,  found  the  keys  at  the  drug-store  on  the  cor 
ner,  found  his  trunk  in  his  room  where  he  left  it,  hired 
an  expressman  to  remove  it,  and  returned  the  kej'S  to 
the  drug-store  with  a  note  of  explanation  and  farewell 
to  the  Gippses;  and  never  did  he  expect  to  behold  them 
more.  This  alias  experience  was  too  odious  to  remem 
ber,  and  he  was  glad  the  chapter  was  ended  forever, 
and  he  was  once  more  Colonel  Judson  of  Alabama. 

He  started  with  his  wife  for  the  Catskills  the  same 
day  (his  daughter  having  preceded  them),  and  on 
Tuesday  afternoon,  about  five  o'clock,  he  reached  his 
final  destination — Van  Tassel's — a  breezy,  elevated 
summer  boarding-house  amidst  fine  groves,  in  the  very 
heart  of  the  mountains,  commanding  a  fine  view  in 
every  direction. 

On  a  great  semicircular  sign  over  the  picturesque 


122  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

gateway  was  the  name,  in  great  black  letters,  persever- 
ingly  touched  up  every  year,  "  Pleasant  View  House/' 
the  product  of  the  whole  Van  Tassel  intellect  and  in 
genuity,  and  a  frightful  waste  of  brain-power  and 
black  paint,  as  nobody  would  ever  call  the  house  any 
thing  but  "  Van  Tassel's,"  or,  more  discouraging  yet, 
"  Dave's,"  as  the  country  people  had  it,  David  being 
the  chief  of  the  tribe. 

One  very  beautiful  blond  young  lady  sat  on  the 
front  piazza  in  a  red  wicker  rocking-chair;  and  one 
extremely  good-looking,  tall,  blond  young  man  stood 
leaning  up  against  the  nearest  post  looking  down  upon 
the  blond  young  lady. 

"  Oh !  I  love  it  here  at  the  North ! "  the  young  lady 
was  saying.  "But  you  can't  think  how  strange  it 
seems  to  me  to  see  white  people  waiting  on  the  table 
or  sitting  on  the  coachman's  box ! " 

Just  then  Mr.  Stephen  Hasbrouck's  two-seated  buck- 
board,  containing  the  colonel  and  Mrs.  Judson  wound 
slowly  up  the  steep  ascent  to  the  Pleasant  View  House, 
and  the  jroung  lady  eagerly  arose,  shaded  her  eyes  with 
her  hand,  and  then  exclaiming,  excitedly,  "  Ma  and  pa 
at  last!"  she  darted  down  the  path  as  if  she  had  not 
seen  them  for  eight  years,  instead  of  eight  days. 

The  buckboard  stopped;  and  the  young  lady  threw 
her  arms  around  the  other  lady's  neck  exclaiming: 

"You  darling,  darling  mamma!  I've  been  watch 
ing  for  you  all  day!  You  darling  papa!  What  did 
you  mean  by  not  coming  last  night?  It's  splendid 
here,  ma,  so  cool !  Takes  four  blankets  to  keep  you 
warm  every  night,  and  I  haven't  seen  a  single  mos 
quito  yet,  and  no  sign  of  my  chills !  I  believe  I'm  cured 
already;  and  I'm  sure  it  will  do  you  more  good  here, 
ma,  than  at  the  seashore."  And  thus  ecstatically  talk 
ing,  she  led  the  way  up-stairs. 


THE   COLONEL   AND   THE   BOARDERS.  123 

"  Who  was  that  gentleman  talking  with  you  on  the 
piazza,  dear  ?  "  inquired  the  colonel  as  the  young  lady 
began  speaking  of  the  "lovely  people"  she  had  met. 

"  O  pa ! "  burst  forth  the  young  lady,  "  there  are 
such  distinguished  people  staying  here !  That  was  the 
Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook — you've  heard  of  him, 
haven't  you,  pa  ?  He's  a  member  of  the  legislature 
of  this  State,  pa !  He's  a  senator! " 

"  Ah !  indeed !  A  Republican,  I  suppose  ? "  asked 
the  colonel,  rather  uneasily. 

"  A  Republican,  pa  ?  Mr.  Esterbrook  a  Republican  ? 
Why,  pa,  I  couldn't  imagine  such  a  thing !  I  have  never 
heard  him  say  what  he  was;  but  he's  a  thoroughbred 
gentleman,  refined  and  polished;  he  has  traveled  in 
Europe,  too,  and  he  is  very  sensible  and  witty." 

"But,  my  dear  Eva,"  replied  the  colonel,  "you  can't 
infer  from  this  that  a  man  here  at  the  North  is  not  a 
Republican.  They  are  not  all  like  the  Republicans  we 
have  in  the  South." 

"  Well,  pa,  I'm  sure  I  can't  think  he's  a  Eepublican. 
He  seems  to  like  Southern  people  very  much;  he  has 
two  lovely  sisters,  and  his  mother — O  pa,  she's  the 
loveliest  woman  I  ever  saw ! " 

"  Well,  my  dear,  I  am  very  glad  you  have  met  such 
pleasant  people." 

The  colonel  and  his  wife,  being  ready  to  go  down 
stairs  before  the  bell  rang  for  supper,  Miss  Eva  cha 
peroned  them  around  the  house. 

Mrs.  Judson,  being  amiably  predetermined  to  like 
everything  she  saw  at  the  North,  however  abominable 
it  might  be,  pronounced  the  situation  of  the  house 
"  just  perfect,"  and  even  condoned  the  grave  architec 
tural  error  of  placing  the  pig-sty — a  one-story  exten 
sion  of  the  ell — at  the  south  end  of  the  building,  where 
it  not  only  commanded  the  virgin  breezes,  but  also  the 


124  COL.  JUDSOIST  OF  ALABAMA. 

finest  views,  according  to  the  testimony  of  several  en 
terprising  small  boys  sitting  astride  the  ridgepole  at 
the  moment. 

The  bell  rang  for  supper  while  they  were  walking  on 
the  lawn;  and  by  the  time  they  reached  the  house, 
which  a  moment  before  seemed  almost  uninhabited, 
the  dining-room  was  swarming  with  the  boarders. 
There  were  about  sixty  or  seventy  of  them,  the  ma 
jority  being  ladies,  children,  beardless  young  men  and 
old  gentlemen.  There  were  three  long  tables  standing 
parallel  with  each  other,  and  a  round  table  at  one  end 
of  the  room,  at  which  was  seated  a  large  family  of  very 
evidently  wealthy  Jews,  looking  with  gaze  inimical  at 
the  surrounding  Caucasians,  whom  they  credited  with 
naught  but  sentiments  of  hostility  toward  themselves. 

"  This  is  our  table ! "  cried  Miss  Eva,  blithely,  leading 
the  way  to  the  central  board,  her  bright  young  face 
beaming  with  happiness  as  her  gaze  fell  upon  her 
nearest  neighbors;  and  she  joyfully  presented  her 
father  and  mother  to  the  lovely  Mrs.  Esterbrook,  the 
two  lovely  Misses  Esterbrook,  and  to  the  witty  and 
sensible  Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook. 

Mrs.  Judson  and  Mrs.  Esterbrook  immediately  fell 
to  talking  about  the  lovely  pure  mountain  air;  and 
Mrs.  Judson  explained  about  her  chills,  which  she  had 
come  North  to  cure;  while  Miss  Eva  began  to  talk 
to  the  Misses  Esterbrook  about  a  new  novel  which 
the  latter  had  loaned  her  to  read  that  morning. 
The  colonel  and  the  Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook  went 
skirmishing  around  on  the  borders  of  politics;  and, 
alas !  in  less  than  ten  minutes  thereafter,  the  unhappy 
Southerner  had  found  out  that  the  good-looking,  tall 
young  man,  who  could  make  his  only  daughter's  eyes 
beam  with  delight  and  send  the  bright  color  all  over 
her  face,  was  a  Republican,  sure  enough! 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       125 

But  he  was  a  very  tolerant  young  man  and  very 
intelligent  and  conscientious.  He  made  a  very  lauda 
ble  effort  to  be  modest,  too,  and  to  wear  his  laurels 
and  public  dignities  and  responsibilities  without  any 
unseemly  display;  but  he  couldn't  help  talking  about 
"my  constituents "  and  about  "my  bill"  (he  had  a  bill 
before  the  Senate  for  the  improvement  of  tenement 
houses).  He  was  filled  to  overflowing  with  the  mag 
nitude  of  his  public  duties  and  of  the  grave  responsi 
bilities  resting  upon  his  shoulders,  was  keenly  alive  to 
the  weight  of  his  power  and  influence  and  example 
as  a  public  man,  and  every  time  he  heard  of  anything 
that  was  going  wrong  in  the  world  or  of  any  evil  or 
injustice,  he  would  exclaim:  "I  think  it  is  a  perfect 
shame !  I  am  going  to  see  what  I  can  do  about  that 
at  Albany  this  winter."  If  he  could  only  have  secured 
all  the  legislation  he  dreamed  of,  he  would  have  in 
augurated  the  millennium  in  the  State  of  New  York 
forthwith. 

It  also  leaked  out  in  about  a  minute,  despite  his 
modest  reserve,  that  he  was  a  graduate  of  Williams 
College;  that  he  was  the  valedictorian  of  his  class,  and 
that  he  took  the  first  prize  for  original  Latin  thesis. 

Concerning  his  brief  public  career  hitherto,  he  made 
no  attempt  to  conceal  the  fact  that  he  was  far  from 
satisfied  with  himself,  and  that  he  was  humbly  con 
scious  of  having  proven  a  very  human,  fallible,  frail 
young  man.  He  confessed,  with  chagrin  and  contri 
tion,  that  more  than  once,  despite  his  earnest  desire 
and  his  numerous  resolutions  to  do  right,  he  had  voted 
for  bills  dead  against  his  convictions,  because  he  had 
been  importuned  to  do  so  by  their  friends  and  bene 
ficiaries  and  found  it  impossible  to  resist  their  bland 
ishments. 

"  Now  there  was  a  bill,"  he  exclaimed  with  righteous 


126  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

indignation,  "that  we  all  voted  for  to  give  the  public 
money  to  some  philanthropists  who  wanted  to  experi 
ment  on  a  reformatory  for  women.  I  had  no  faith  at 
all  in  that  scheme,  and  none  of  us  had;  but  the  bill 
was  pressed  by  Mrs.  Brinkhurst,  one  of  the  sweetest 
women  I  ever  saw — with  hair  as  white  as  my  mother's. 
The  bill  never  would  have  gone  through  but  for  her. 
To  be  sure  it  was  a  noble  object;  but  what  right  had 
we  to  be  voting  away  the  people's  money  for  an  experi 
ment  we  didn't  believe  in  ?  For  my  part,  when  I  think 
of  it,  I  am  ashamed  of  myself!  But  it's  pretty  hard 
work,"  he  added  leniently,  "  to  do  right  all  the  time/' 

He  went  into  public  life,  he  said,  perfectly  deter 
mined  to  do  his  share  toward  weeding  out  corruptions 
and  abuses;  and  yet  what  did  he  do,  the  first  time  the 
temptation  and  opportunity  were  presented,  but  get  a 
college  chum  of  his,  who  had  suddenly  come  to  pov 
erty,  put  into  a  sinecure — a  perfect  sinecure  where  he 
drew  three  dollars  a  day  from  the  State  treasury,  and 
had  absolutely  nothing  to  do  but  to  go  around  Avith  his 
hands  in  his  pockets. 

"  I'm  too  obliging,"  he  added.  "  That's  my  beset 
ting  sin." 

But  notwithstanding  the  readiness  with  which  he 
made  these  admissions  and  assertions  in  private  con 
versation,  he  was  extremely  solicitous  that  none  of  his 
ill-considered  remarks  and  extemporaneous  speeches 
should  ever  get  into  the  papers;  as  for  writing  letters, 
litera  scripta  manet !  He  had  never  touched  pen  to 
paper  since  he  entered  the  Senate  without  considering 
how  it  would  look  in  print  next  morning. 

To  the  colonel  he  became  exceedingly  confidential, 
more  than  once  murmuring  his  undertone  convictions 
that  the  Southerner  was  right;  and  several  times  he 
back-bit  his  own  party  under  his  breath, 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       127 

"  Still,"  he  said,  "  it  is  a  grand  old  party." 

The  colonel  felt  some  hesitancy  about  abusing  the 
young  senator's  party  to  his  face;  but  in  view  of  what 
the  gentleman  himself  had  admitted,  he  ventured  to 
ask  on  what  grounds  the  Republican  party  could  be 
called  "a  grand  old  partj^." 

"  It  saved  the  Union,  for  the  first  item ! "  patriotically 
cried  the  young  man. 

"  I  think  there  were  Democrats  in  the  Northern 
armj7/'  returned  the  colonel ;  "  and  Northern  Demo 
crats  united  with  Republicans  in  furnishing  money  to 
carry  on  the  war  and  in  upholding  the  government  in 
its  measures  for  the  conquest  of  the  South ; "  a  reply 
'which,  though  made  with  perfect  courtesy,  so  over 
threw  the  young  senator's  mind  that  he  quite  forgot 
the  other  items  he  designed  enumerating;  and  the 
colonel  proceeded : 

"A  party  that  has  been  guilty  of  so  many  grave 
political  blunders  and  of  such  utterly  indefensible  acts 
of  injustice  has  no  right,  in  my  humble  judgment,  to 
any  claim  of  grandeur — except  the  grandeur  of  suc 
cessfully  holding  on  to  power  for  twenty  years." 

As  the  colonel  began  speaking,  the  fires  of  partisan 
zeal  blazed  higher  and  higher  in  the  young  man's 
soul,  but  he  politely  heard  the  Southerner  through, 
intending  to  make  an  eloquent  reply  in  defense  of  the 
party  that  had  sent  him  to  Albanj7;  but  as  the  speaker 
ceased,  the  senator's  premeditated  eloquence  failed 
him ;  an  emotional  spasm  of  partisan  allegiance  alone 
filled  his  breast;  he  could  have  given  three  cheers  for 
his  party  with  fervor  and  energy;  but  as  this,  in  the 
present  chaotic  state  of  his  intellectual  forces,  was  not 
reducible  to  rational  and  dignified  oratory,  he  merely 
murmured : 

"Yes;  the  Republican  party  has  been  at  the  helm  a 
long  time." 


128  COL.  JUBSOJST  OF  ALABAMA. 

While  the  colonel  and  young1  Esterbrook  were  talk 
ing,  his  mother,  although  engaged  in  conversation 
with  Mrs.  Judson,  cast  many  a  proud  glance  across 
the  table  at  her  son,  whose  letters  now  came  with 
"  Honorable  "  before  his  name — proud  to  see  how  high- 
minded  and  conscientious  he  was  amidst  the  cor 
rupt  and  venal,  how  keenly  alive  to  public  wants  and 
needs  amidst  the  heartless,  conscienceless,  and  unfeel 
ing. 

She  was  a  large,  noble- looking  lady  with  snow-white 
hair,  jet-black  heavy  eyebrows,  and  large  black  eyes, 
and  with  that  wonderful  dignity  and  composure  that 
comes  more  from  perfect  rectitude  and  a  heart  at 
peace  with  God  and  man  than  from  any  conscious 
greatness,  superiority  of  intellect,  or  grandeur  of 
achievement. 

"  How  difficult  it  is,"  she  said  to  Mrs.  Judson,  "  for 
mothers  to  realize  that  their  children  have  grown  up 
and  have  become  responsible  men  and  women!  It 
seems  but  a  few  days  ago  that  my  son  was  wearing 
knickerbockers  and  was  scarcely  to  be  trusted  out  of 
my  sight;  and  now  he  is  a  voter  and  a  lawmaker!" 

Finding  Mrs.  Judson,  who  was  filled  with  similar 
thoughts  concerning  her  daughter,  a  sympathetic  and 
appreciative  listener,  the  proud  mother  began  indulg 
ing  in  fond  reminiscences  of  her  son's  prodigious  in 
fancy  and  childhood,  which,  reaching  the  ears  of  the 
hero  across  the  table,  he  cried  out  gayly : 

"Now  mother's  going  to  tell  some  hatchet  stories 
about  me! "  though  he  appeared  not  to  be  in  the  least 
averse  to  the  narration. 

"I  remember,"  proceeded  Mrs.  Esterbrook,  "when 
my  son  was  about  six  years  of  age  he  had  a  nurse  who 
was  a  very  strict  Methodist.  On  Sunday  she  not  only 
took  away  all  his  toys  and  secular  story  and  picture 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       129 

books,  but  she  told  him  he  must  not  even  think  about 
them,  that  he  must  not  think  'every-day  thoughts' 
at  all  on  Sunday — he  must  think  only  about  what  the 
minister  said  at  church,  about  his  Sabbath-school  les 
son,  and  about  the  angels  and  going  to  Heaven.  She 
had  made  a  powerful  impression  on  his  mind,  and  he 
stood  in  great  fear  of  the  lake  that  burns  with  fire  and 
brimstone.  One  Sunday  night  about  eleven  o'clock, 
just  as  I  was  about  retiring,  I  heard  some  one  going 
into  the  sitting-room,  where  I  had  just  turned  out  the 
gas.  I  stepped  back  into  the  hall  and  saw  that  child, 
in  his  night-dress  and  slippers,  with  a  lighted  caudle 
in  his  hand,  go  into  the  room  and  hold  the  candle  up 
before  the  clock.  Then  I  made  my  appearance  and 
asked  what  he  was  doing.  He  looked  at  me  with  the 
gravest  expression  and  said :  '  Mamma,  I  woke  up  and 
I  wanted  to  know  if  it  was  Monday  morning  yet,  so  I 
could  think  my  every-day  thoughts/'' 

Another  reminiscence  illustrated  the  honorable  sen 
ator's  philanthropic  disposition  and  foreshadowed  those 
tendencies  that  gave  rise  to  the  tenement-house  bill. 

" I  remember,"  pursued  the  fond  mother,  "when  my 
son  was  about  seven  years  old  there  was  a  very  poor 
widow  living  a  short  distance  from  the  house  where 
we  were  spending  the  summer  in  the  country.  My 
son  had  visited  her  house  frequently,  and  had  seen  the 
poor  woman  pounding  up  roasted  peas  in  a  mortar  to 
mix  with  her  coffee.  It  seems  he  was  very  much  dis 
tressed  in  his  mind  because  the  pounding  of  the  peas 
involved  so  much  labor.  I  remember  his  talking  with 
me  about  it  and  saying  he  wished  he  could  think  of 
some  way  to  make  the  peas  grind  more  easily.  The 
next  morning  I  found  him  in  the  kitchen  gravely 
watching  a  tin  dish  on  the  back  of  the  stove;  and  he 
told  me  he  had  thought  of  a  way  to  make  that  poor 
9 


130  COL.  JUDSON  OP  ALABAMA. 

woman's  peas  grind  easily.  He  was  soaking1  some 
peas  for  her  in  the  dish ! " 

"I  remember  something  that  occurred  that  same 
summer/'  cried  young  Esterbrook,  ironically,  "  which 
illustrates  the  other  side  of  my  character.  That  poor 
woman  who  put  peas  in  her  coffee  had  a  small  boy 
about  my  own  size.  This  youngster  had  constructed 
a  see-saw,  or  teeter  as  he  called  it,  in  his  mother's 
dooryard.  It  consisted  of  a  long  plank  laid  across  a 
saw-horse.  One  day,  on  his  invitation  to  sample  its 
delights,  I  took  a  seat  on  one  end  and  he  on  the  other. 
He  went  up  first,  and,  as  I  saw  him  dangling  high  up 
in  the  air  above  me,  I  thought  it  must  be  fine  fun. 
But  no  sooner  was  I  aloft  myself  than  I  was  terror- 
stricken  at  my  elevation,  and  I  privately  made  up  my 
mind  if  I  ever  lived  to  get  down  I  wouldn't  go  up 
again.  So,  when  I  reached  the  ground  and  the  other 
boy  was  in  the  air,  I  just  quietly  slipped  off  without  a 
word  of  warning,  and  down  he  came  with  a  tremen 
dous  thud.  The  board  rebounded  and  struck  him  on 
the  head  before  he  could  rise;  and  as  for  me — I  benev 
olently  took  to  my  heels !  I  was  expecting  to  be  in 
vited  to  his  funeral,  when  he  came  over  to  see  me  with 
several  strips  of  black  court-plaster  on  his  face  and  a 
bandage  smelling  of  arnica  on  his  wrist.  He  shook 
his  fist  at  me  and  told  me  next  time  he  played  with  me 
I'd  know  it." 

"You  were  not  often  so  regardless  of  your  play 
mates,  I  am  sure,"  remarked  Mrs.  Esterbrook.  "  I  can 
recall  many  acts  of  unexampled  generosity  on  your 
part." 

"  Oh,  so  can  I,"  asserted  the  young  man,  laughingly, 
taking  up  the  recital  himself.  "  I  recall  one  incident 
of  stupendous  generosity  on  my  part.  I  had  heard  of 
Aladdin's  lamp,  and  I  had  been  to  the  grocery  store 


THE   COLONEL   AND   THE   BOARDERS.  131 

with  one  of  the  servants;  and,  to  my  wonder  and  ad 
miration,  I  had  observed  that  by  merely  presenting  a 
small  blank  book  to  the  clerk  she  could  get  anything 
she  called  for.  I  thought  it  was  a  talisman  by  which 
all  one's  wants  could  be  supplied  without  involving  any 
further  responsibility.  So,  one  day  when  my  mother 
was  ill  and  time  hung  heavily  on  my  hands,  I  got 
possession  of  that  same  talisman  myself  and  went  to 
the  grocery  store,  with  rag- tag  and  bob-tail  at  my 
heels,  and  called  for  figs,  dates,  oranges,  and  bananas. 
I  remember  very  well  how  free-handed  and  liberal  I 
was  on  that  occasion.  I  gave  the  other  boys  as  much 
as  they  could  carry  off,  and  treated  myself  the  same 
way;  and  this  performance  I  repeated  till  the  next  bill 
was  sent  in." 

"It  shows  what  an  observing  child  it  was,  at  all 
events,"  said  his  mother.  "His  father  always  told 
him  to  '  observe  what  he  took  notice  of;  and  I  think 
he  did.  I  remember  one  day  when  he  returned  from 
the  Methodist  church  with  his  nurse,  she  complained 
of  the  length  of  the  sermon,  when  Warner  cried  out : 
'  Didn't  you  hear  the  minister  say,  when  he  read  the 
hymn,  that  it  was  going  to  be  a  long  meeting  ? '  It 
appears  the  minister,  who,  I  am  afraid,  was  not  much 
of  a  scholar,  was  in  the  habit  of  reading  the  words 
'  long  metre '  or  '  short  metre '  standing  at  the  begin 
ning  of  the  hymn;  and  the  child  had  always  under 
stood  it  as  'long  or  short  meeting/" 

"  That  was  very  observing  in  me ! "  interposed  the 
hero,  with  mild  sarcasm.  "  Now  you've  told  stories 
enough  about  me,  mother.  It's  time  to  turn  the  tables. 
I  remember  when  my  mother  was  about  two  years 
old — I  have  heard  my  dear  old  grandma  tell  this,"  he 
interjected  laughingly,  as  he  observed  the  surprised 
looks  of  his  auditors,  "she  was  sent  to  close  a  door 


132  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

opening  into  a  dark  room.  An  elder  sister  had  already 
declined  the  mission  on  the  ground  that  she  was  afraid 
of  the  dark.  But  1113'  mother  immediately  toddled  off, 
saying,  '  Naughty  dirls  'faid  de  dark,  dood  dirls  ain't/ 
They  claimed  that  to  be  entirely  out  of  her  own  head; 
but  I  can't  vouch  for  that.  Still,  I  can  give  my  mother 
a  good  recommendation  for  possessing  a  fine  mind. 
I've  heard  her  talk  a  good  deal." 

By  the  time  supper  was  over  the  Esterbrooks  and 
the  Judsons  appeared  to  be  fast  friends;  and  the  colo 
nel  and  Mrs.  Jndson  delighted  their  daughter  by  pro 
nouncing  them  very  pleasant  people. 

There  was  to  be  a  german  that  evening  at  the  Breeze 
Lawn  House,  three  or  four  miles  distant,  and  the 
boarders  at  Van  Tassel's  had  been  invited.  The  Ester- 
brook  sisters  wanted  to  go  and  had  joined  with  their 
brother  in  asking  Eva  Judson  to  accompany  them; 
but  that  young  lady  had,  in  duty  bound,  deferred  her 
answer  till  the  arrival  of  her  father  and  mother. 

The  german  was  uppermost  in  the  young  people's 
minds  all  during  the  supper,  although  nothing  was  said 
about  it;  and  it  was  uppermost  in  Miss  Eva's  mind 
when  she  left  her  father  and  mother  in  the  parlor  and 
went  out  upon  the  piazza  alone — to  investigate  herself 
and  understand,  if  possible,  why  she  wanted  to  go  at 
all  and  leave  her  "  pa  "  and  "  ma  "  so  soon  after  their 
arrival,  or  why,  if  she  did  want  to  go,  she  was  so 
ashamed  to  speak  to  them  about  it. 

Presently  she  heard  a  footstep,  and,  looking  around, 
she  saw  the  Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook  approaching. 

"  Have  you  told  your  father  and  mother  about  the 
german  ?  "  he  asked. 

"No,  I  have  not  yet,"  replied  the  young  lady,  look 
ing  up  with  a  droll  expression.  "I  hate  to!  I  wish 
somebody  else  would  tell  them!  I  would  like  to  go  as 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       133 

long  as  your  sisters  are  going,  but  I  think  I  ought  to 
stay  with  ma  after  we've  been  apart  so  long  and  she 
onty  just  come  this  evening." 

"  Why,  it  was  only  eight  days,"  urged  the  young 
man.  "A  german  doesn't  happen  every  night.  I  am 
sure  if  you  ask  them  they  will  have  no  objection  to 
your  going.  I  think  it  is  going  to  be  a  capital  affair." 

"  I  do  want  to  go,"  murmured  the  young  lady,  wist 
fully.  "But  I  hate  to  tell  ma  and  pa.  I  do  wish 
somebody  else  would ! " 

"If  you  will  nominate  me  for  that  office,  I  shall  ac 
cept  it  with  the  greatest  pleasure;  and  like  all  office 
holders,  I  shall  never  resign." 

"  I  am  sure  I  shall  be  glad  to  have  you  do  it,"  replied 
the  young  lady,  blushing. 

"  You  make  me  happy ! "  cried  young  Esterbrook 
seizing  her  hand  and  looking  down  into  her  face  with 
great  earnestness.  "  I  will  go  and  speak  to  your  father 
at  once." 

What  an  era,  what  a  momentous  epoch,  was  this  in 
Miss  Eva's  life !  How  her  heart  beat,  how  her  cheeks 
burned,  as  she  saw  the  young  man,  through  the  open 
window,  stride  up  so  bravely  to  her  father  and  take 
him  aside !  and  how  strange  she  felt  when  she  saw  her 
father's  polite  attention  and  his  grave,  courtly  bows 
as  the  young  man  addressed  him!  She  felt  then  as  if 
she  could  never  look  open-eyed  into  her  father's  face 
again. 

Presently  the  young  man,  with  a  triumphant  air 
and  heightened  color,  rejoined  her. 

"Victorious!"  he  cried,  boyishly  waving  his  hat  in 
the  air.  "Your  father  consents!  You  don't  know 
how  delighted  I  am,"  he  added  in  lower  tones,  grasp 
ing  her  hand.  "  This  is  going  to  be  the  grandest  ger 
man  I  ever  went  to.  I  know  I  never  had  such  anticipa- 


134  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

tions  of  a  thoroughly  enjoyable  evening  before  in  my 
life!" 

"  I  think  it  will  be  lovely,  too,  it  is  so  cool  to-night," 
murmured  Miss  Eva,  trying  to  look  unconscious.  "  I 
love  to  dance  when  it's  so  cool  and  the  air  is  so  brac 
ing." 

"And  the  drive  will  be  lovety,  too,"  added  Ester- 
brook.  "  Oh,  we're  going  to  have  a  heavenly  time ! 
The  moon  is  full  to-night;  and  it  will  be  moonlight 
going  and  returning," 

As  the  young  man  talked  the  young  lady  stood 
looking  as  if  she  had  something  of  importance  on  her 
mind. 

"  Mr.  Esterbrook,"  she  began  solemnly,  "  I  want  to 
ask  you  a  question." 

"Ten  thousand  if  you  will!"  replied  Esterbrook, 
looking  as  if  he  felt  highly  flattered. 

"  I  want  to  know,"  asked  the  young  lady,  earnestly, 
"  whether  you  are  a  Democrat  or  a  Republican."  She 
looked  up  eagerly  into  his  face,  searching  his  features 
in  advance  for  the  repty. 

Esterbrook  colored  to  the  roots  of  his  hair. 

"  I  was  sent  to  Albany  by  the  Republican  party,"  he 
replied  in  deprecating  tones. 

"  By  the  Republicans !  "  cried  Miss  Eva,  in  accents  of 
undisguised  disappointment  and  regret.  "  I  never  once 
dreamed  of  such  a  thing ! "  Her  voice  quivered  and 
the  tears  seemed  ready  to  start  into  her  eyes. 

Esterbrook  felt  like  apostatizing  on  the  spot. 

"My  father  was  a  Republican,"  he  replied,  trying  to 
offer  some  extenuation  of  his  crime,  and,  in  short,  to 
throw  the  blame  upon  some  one  else.  "  It  was  very 
natural  that  I  should  adopt  his  tenets.  But  the  Re 
publican  party  is  not  what  it  was  in  my  father's  day. 
I  am  thoroughly  disgusted  with  it,  I  assure  you.  I 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       135 

don't  know  but  that  I  shall  bolt  before  long  if  things 
don't  change." 

•"  Bolt  ?  "  repeated  the  young  girl,  wonderingly. 

"  I  beg  pardon !  Go  over  to  the  Democrats.  (What 
a  howl  there  would  be !)  I  implore  you  not  to  men 
tion  a  word  of  this!  I  wouldn't  have  it  get  into  the 
papers  for  the  world ! " 

"  Oh,  I  shall  be  discreet.  Only,  you  will  not  object 
to  my  speaking  of  it  to  pa  ? " 

Esterbrook  colored  again. 

"  I "  he  began  and  then  pondered  a  moment.  "  I 

think,"  he  continued  slowly,  "  that  perhaps  it  would  be 
premature  and  ill-advised  for  a  man  in  my  position. 
You  understand.  My  mind  is  not  fully  made  up.  I 
would  prefer  not  to  commit  myself  at  present." 

Miss  Eva  understood,  from  Esterbrook's  rather  dis 
jointed  speech,  that  the  matter  for  the  present  was  to 
be  a  secret  between  them;  and,  much  as  she  longed  to 
vindicate  him  to  her  father,  she  felt  that  she  was  not 
free  to  do  so.  But  her  own  heart  was  satisfied  as  to 
his  politics.  She  was  confident  his  inward  delibera 
tions  would  have  only  a  just  and  virtuous  result,  and 
that,  in  short,  sooner  or  later,  he  was  certain  to  "  bolt." 

She  went  to  her  room  to  dress  for  the  dance;  but 
her  head  was  so  turned  she  hardty  knew  what  she  was 
doing.  In  a  few  minutes  her  mother  came  in,  and  sud 
denly  her  thoughts  took  a  different  turn.  Throwing 
her  arms  around  her  mother's  neck,  she  exclaimed : 

"Ma,  O  ma!  you  think  I'm  selfish  to  go  off  and 
leave  you  alone  when  we've  been  apart  so  long  and 
you  only  just  come." 

"No,  my  darling,  I  do  not!  I  do  not!"  cried  the 
mother,  embracing  her  daughter  tenderly.  "  I  want 
you  to  go  and  enjoy  yourself."  But  she  held  her  child 
to  her  heart  to  conceal  the  tears  that  had  sprung  to 


COL.   JUDSOtf   OF  ALABAMA. 

her  eyes;  for,  in  spite  of  all  philosophy,  she  felt  a 
sharp  pang  as  she  realized,  for  the  first  time,  that  her 
daughter  was  slipping  away  from  her. 

"  O  ma,  I  will  stay  at  home  with  you !  "  cried  the 
young  girl  with  heroic  resolution.  " I  will,  ma;  I  had 
rather !" 

"  No,  my  child,"  returned  the  mother,  firmly,  "  you 
have  promised  to  go.  The  selfishness  would  be  on  my 
side  if  I  kept  you  from  the  pleasures  to  which  you  have 
a  right.  Your  father  will  he  with  me.  I  want  you  to 
go.  I  have  come  to  help  you  dress/' 

"  Well,  ma,  you  are  the  loveliest  mother  any  girl  ever 
had !  I  do  want  to  go,  of  course,"  and  this  time  she  felt 
superior  to  saying  it  was  because  the  Esterbrook  girls 
were  going.  "  But  I  felt,"  she  added,  "  as  if  it  would 
mar  all  the  pleasure  to  think  that  you  would  miss  me 
and  feel  that  I  didn't  love  you." 

"I  shall  miss  my  daughter,"  replied  the  mother. 
"  But  I  shall  be  happy  in  the  thought  that  you  are 
enjoying  yourself;  and  I  am  satisfied  you  will  be  well 
taken  care  of." 

"Yes,  ma,"  returned  the  young  girl  with  proud  dig 
nity.  "I  am  so  glad,"  she  added,  "that  you  and  pa 
like  the  Esterbrooks !  I  like  them  so  much ! " 

"Yes,  dear,  they  are  really  very  fine  people.  I  am 
glad  we  have  met  them.  Those  two  young  ladies  are 
very  beautiful." 

"Very,"  affirmed  the  daughter,  with  deep  satisfac 
tion. 

"  And  Mrs.  Esterbrook  is  a  delightful  woman,  highly 
cultivated  and  polished." 

"  Yes,  ma,"  responded  the  daughter,  eagerly  await 
ing  the  rest. 

"And  Mr.  Esterbrook,"  added  the  mother,  feeling 
that  it  was  not  right  to  stop  there,  "  is  certainly  a 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       137 

gentleman  and  a  very  interesting-  talker;  your  pa 
thinks  so,  too,"  but  she  refrained,  for  the  present,  from 
alluding  to  the  gravity  with  which  the  colonel  had 
answered  "yes"  to  her  anxious  inquiry,  as  they  left 
the  table,  "  Is  he  a  Republican  ?  " 

Before  eight  o'clock  the  front  piazza  was  crowded 
with  the  young  people  dressed  for  the  dance  and  full 
of  spirits,  awaiting  the  carriages  and  stages  for  the 
Breeze  Lawn  House.  The  Esterbrook  sisters  were 
there  with  their  distinguished  brother,  both  of  them 
dressed  in  white.  Like  their  brother,  the  sisters  were 
blondes;  and  both,  as  they  had  been  pronounced  by 
Mrs.  Judson  and  Eva,  were  very  beautiful,  with  deli 
cate,  regular  features  and  perfect  complexions,  and 
looking  so  much  alike  it  was  difficult  to  distinguish 
one  from  the  other,  and  quite  impossible  to  discover 
which  was  the  elder.  In  a  few  minutes,  Eva  Judson, 
also  in  white,  came  down  with  her  mother  and  joined 
them,  and  the  beautiful  group  was  complete. 

The  buckboards  and  stages  were  soon  ready;  there 
was  a  sudden  ebullition  of  excitement  and  noise,  a 
great  many  exclamations,  then  one  after  the  other 
they  drove  off,  and  the  Pleasant  View  House  was  left 
in  comparative  quiet. 

The  colonel,  understanding  the  sadness  that  op 
pressed  the  heart  of  his  wife,  drew  her  hand  through 
his  arm,  and  in  silence  they  promenaded  the  now  al 
most  deserted  piazza,  where  about  half  a  dozen  of  the 
boarders,  shivering  in  thick  zephyr  shawls,  were  try 
ing,  in  spite  of  the  cold,  to  enjoy  the  moonlight  on  the 
mountains;  but  one  by  one  they  succumbed  and  went 
inside;  and  their  example  was  soon  followed  by  the 
colonel  and  Mrs.  Judson. 

In  the  parlor  half  a  dozen  people  were  trying  to  ruin 
their  eyesight  reading  cheap,  badly  printed  novels 


138  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

(they  always  had  the  best  quality  of  everything  but 
books)  by  the  dim  light  of  kerosene  lamps  hung  in 
brackets  on  the  wall,  the  general  verdict  of  the  readers 
being  that  the  chimneys  had  not  been  cleaned  since 
last  summer,  nor  the  wicks  cut  for  two  years.  A 
group  of  ladies  and  gentlemen  surrounded  the  piano, 
one  of  the  ladies  playing  an  accompaniment,  the  others 
singing.  Others  were  playing  cards.  There  was  also 
a  chess-playing  couple  with  an  interested  group  around 
them;  but  the  majority  of  the  people  were  drearily 
talking  and  gaping — with  one  notable  exception. 

In  a  large  open  stove  a  wood  fire  was  blazing  com 
fortably;  and  around  this  were  seated  several  persons 
engaged  in  animated  conversation. 

The  central  personage  in  this  group  was  a  diminutive 
being  with  a  consequential,  dogmatic  air,  a  leonine 
countenance,  great  masses  of  iron-gray  hair  rolling 
back  from  his  forehead,  a  long  bushy  mustache,  big, 
bulging  black  eyes,  heavy  semicircular  eyebrows, 
hands  covered  all  over  the  backs  with  long  black  hair, 
and  a  rumpled  shirt  and  soiled  white  vest. 

The  colonel  had  no  difficulty  in  recognizing  the 
Yankee  schoolmaster  who  had  lived  in  the  South 
"  quite  a  spell."  But  Mr.  Dickel  only  began  to  talk  the 
louder  and  the  more  grandiloquently  at  the  colonel's 
approach;  otherwise  he  seemed  unconscious  of  the 
Southerner's  presence.  He  had,  however,  seen  that 
individual  enter  the  dining-room  at  supper  time,  and, 
recognizing  his  adversary  of  the  Gipps  mansion,  had 
been  spoiling  for  a  fight  ever  since;  but  he  believed 
his  dignity  required  that  he  should  be  sought  out  and 
recognized  first. 

The  colonel,  perceiving  that  Mr.  Dickel  was  engrossed 
in  a  fierce  religious  controversy  with  a  tall  woman  in 
a  black  gown,  and  taking  it  for  granted  that  his  pres- 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS. 

ent  elevation  of  mind  prevented  his  observing  what 
was  going-  on  ground  him,  refrained  from  interrupting 
him  and  gave  his  attention  to  the  party  at  the  piano. 

But  he  was  not  to  escape. 

Mr.  Dickel  was  fond  of  disputation,  and  when  he 
disputed  he  wanted  an  antagonist  worthy  of  his  bril 
liant  powers.  Moreover,  after  he  left  the  Gipps  man 
sion  on  the  occasion  of  his  previous  memorable  conflict 
with  that  gentleman,  he  went  to  his  room  and  sat 
down  and  thought  the  whole  contest  over;  and  he 
could  see,  on  reflection,  how  many  brilliant  things  he 
had  forgotten  to  say,  and  how  many  hard  digs  he 
might  have  given  the  Southerner  if  they  had  only  oc 
curred  to  him  in  time.  He  had  called  at  the  Gippses' 
twice  afterward,  hoping  to  renew  the  fight,  but  both 
times  the  colonel  was  out.  Here,  now,  was  his  oppor 
tunity  and  he  meant  to  make  the  Southerner  smart 
for  it. 

The  colonel  and  his  wife,  however,  being  fatigued 
with  their  long  journey  up  the  mountains  in  back- 
breaking  vehicles,  and  with  their  minds  preoccupied 
with  thoughts  concerning  their  only  daughter,  early 
withdrew  to  their  room;  and  Dickel  was  forced  to 
give  over  the  inauguration  of  his  contemplated  war 
fare  till  the  next  day. 

But  he  took  occasion,  after  the  colonel  and  Mrs.  Jud- 
son  had  retired,  to  admit  the  other  boarders  into  the 
secret  of  that  gentleman's  history,  and  to  let  them 
know  what  a  rampant  rebel  he  still  was,  how  he  still 
revered  Jeff  Davis,  believed  in  slavery,  State  Rights, 
and  secession,  and  in  wolloping  the  niggers,  and  traf 
ficking  in  human  flesh  and  blood ;  and  how  he  wanted 
to  remand  the  niggers  all  back  into  slavery  again  or 
else  wanted  Congress  to  ^pay  the  ex-slaveholders  for 
all  the  slaves  emancipated. 


140  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

The  others  were  highly  excited  over  this  inflamma 
tory  account  of  the  new  boarder,  and,  when  the  colonel 
appeared  at  the  breakfast  table  the  next  morning1,  he 
was  the  object  of  universal  attention. 

Mr.  Dickel,  in  order  to  promote  his  premeditated 
hostilities,  had  petitioned  for  a  seat  at  the  colonel's 
table,  and  had  succeeded  in  obtaining  a  place  next  to 
the  Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook,  to  whom  he  naturally 
looked  for  succor  and  support  in  the  forthcoming 
struggle. 

But  the  colonel  wouldn't  fight,  and  Mr.  Dickel  began 
to  feel  very  foolish  throwing  stones  without  cause  or 
provocation.  But  he  was  bent  on  quarreling,  and,  if 
he  couldn't  quarrel  with  the  colonel,  he  was  deter 
mined  to  quarrel  at  him;  and  thus  he  managed  to  ren 
der  it  extremely  uncomfortable  for  the  Southerner  at 
Van  Tassel's,  in  doing  which  he  received  no  little  as 
sistance  from  many  of  the  other  boarders,  for  they 
were  not  all  distinguished  and  refined,  by  any  means. 
There  seems  to  exist  a  very  queer,  subtle  relation, 
somehow  or  other,  between  money  and  gentility.  The 
Van  Tassels  charged  enough  for  board — that  is,  they 
charged  all  it  was  worth — but  it  was  not  enough  to 
make  all  the  boarders  as  polished  and  high-toned  as 
people  always  become  as  soon  as  they  acquire  riches; 
and  thus  it  was  that  so  many  of  them  joined  with 
Mr.  Dickel  and  picked  upon  the  Southerner  so  unmer 
cifully. 

When  the  ex-schoolmaster  found  the  colonel  always 
endeavoring,  in  public  at  least,  to  avoid  politics  and 
to  change  the  vexed  subject,  then  he  would  raise  his 
voice  and  address  himself  to  the  people  on  the  other 
side  of  the  table. 

It  happened  that  directly  opposite  sat  a  middle-aged 
lady  with  a  flat  chest,  very  large,  bony,  red  hands,  and 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       141 

a  virtuous,  Rhadamanthine  aspect.  This  lady,  whose 
name  was  Miss  McLane,  said  very  spitefully  that  she 
knew  a  good  deal.  She  had  been  down  South  herself. 
She  saw  slavery  in  actual  operation;  and  she  took 
turns  with  Mr.  Dickel  in  testifying1  to  Southern  enormi 
ties,  and  talked  as  if  it  used  to  be  an  every-day  thing 
for  slaveholders  to  hang1  slaves  up  by  the  thumbs  and 
beat  them  to  death;  and  she  seemed  to  believe  that 
picking  cotton  was  like  plucking  pig  iron  off  of  bushes 
and  carrying  it  around  in  baskets  all  day  long  in  the 
burning  hot  sun. 

Next  to  Miss  McLane  sat  a  very  aged  couple  by  the 
name  of  Wiswell.  These  old  people  were  so  feeble 
and  withered  and  tremulous,  they  seemed  past  and 
gone  out  of  the  century,  and  looked  like  a  couple  of 
anachronisms  sitting  before  dinner  plates.  This  aged 
pair  who  were  very  deaf,  had  overheard  a  portion  of 
Mr.  Dickel's  remarks  and  a  large  part  of  Miss  Mc- 
Lane's;  and  looking  with  mingled  triumph  and  disap 
probation  at  the  colonel,  they  took  turns  in  crying  out 
in  shrill  feeble  voices : 

"  Slavery's  abolished !     Slavery's  abolished ! " 

"Yes,  the  poor  darkies  are  free  now,  praise  the 
Lord ! "  cried  Miss  McLane,  looking  vindictively  at  the 
ex-slaveholder. 

"  Yes,"  chimed  in  Dickel,  "  and  the  Southern  people 
have  got  to  knuckle  down  to  work  like  we  do  here  at 
the  North." 

"Yes,  the  good  Lord  never  meant  that  anybody 
should  shirk  labor,"  cried  Miss  McLane,  whose  red 
hands  were  evidence  enough  that  she  practised  what 
she  preached.  " '  By  the  sweat  of  thy  brow  shalt  thou 
earn  thy  bread '  was  the  edict  of  the  Most  High.  But 
the  Southern  people  always  despised  work." 

"  Yes,  you  Southern  people  always  looked  down  upon 


142  COL.   JUDSON"  OF  ALABAMA. 

work,"  shouted  Dickel,  turning-  again  to  the  colonel, 
"  and  that's  why  you  folks  down  there  are  suffering 
now  the  way  you  are.  You  tried  to  escape  the  curse 
of  Adam;  but  you  made  a  miss  of  it." 

"  Yes,"  cried  another  woman,  "  the  Southern  people 
always  thought  we,  here  in  the  North,  were  plebeian 
laborers." 

"  We  licked  you,  anyhow ! "  cried  a  little  man  further 
down  the  table,  shaking  his  knife  playfully  at  the  col 
onel.  "  Yes,  sir;  we  licked  you,  and  don't  you  forget 
it!" 

"Yes,"  chimed  in  Dickel  again,  "it  took  bayonets 
and  powder  and  balls  to  convince  you  folks  of  the 
error  of  your  ways.  We  had  to  lick  common-sense 
into  you." 

"I  expect  you've  got  a  lot  of  Confederate  money 
saved  up,"  cried  another  man.  "  I  hear  you're  buying 
and  selling  that  stuff  down  there.  You're  looking  for 
ward  to  another  war,  I  guess." 

"  Then  we'll  lick  you  again ! "  cried  the  knife-shaker, 
whose  name  was  Doan. 

"  This  is  a  nice  way  to  conciliate  the  Southern  peo 
ple,"  interposed  another  gentleman,  "  talking  to  them 
this  way  when  they  come  North ! " 

"Oh,  my!  I  think  it  belongs  to  the  Southern  people 
to  conciliate  us,"  cried  Mr.  Doan,  "after  getting  up  a 
war  and  killing  off  a  lot  of  our  fathers  and  sons  and 
brothers,  and  leaving  us  a  lot  of  one-armed  and  one- 
legged  men  to  grind  hand-organs  on  the  pavements! 
Let  the  Southern  people  concilitate  us,  I  say ! " 

"I  should  say  so!  I  should  say  so!"  cried  Dickel, 
delightedly.  "  You  are  right,  Mr.  Doan.  I  don't  think 
the  Southern  people  have  any  just  claims  on  the  North 
for  sugar-teats  and  taffy." 

At  this  point  a  lady  who  had  been  trying  to  find  an 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOAEDERS.       143 

opportunity  to  speak  all  during  the  conversation, 
began,  in  an  emotional  voice,  and  with  eyes  and  nose 
in  which  the  color  came  and  went,  to  relate  a  story 
about  the  terrible  cruelties  and  hardships  put  upon  a 
poor  slave  in  a  novel  she  once  read,  winding  up  with 
the  declaration  that  the  story  was  very  "life-like," 
and  that  she  was  confident  it  was  a  true  picture  of  the 
old  slave  days.  This  rather  irrelevant  interruption 
served  the  purpose  of  reminding  Dickel  of  something. 

"  You  were  saying  the  other  day,  Colonel,"  he  began, 
"  when  I  was  talking  with  you  in  the  city,  that  slaves 
knew  no  hard  times.  Now,  how  about  hoe-cake,  Colo 
nel  ?  Wouldn't  you  think  you  had  fallen  on  mighty 
hard  times  if  you  had  to  eat  hoe-cake  for  breakfast, 
dinner,  and  supper  ?  " 

"  By  no  means,"  replied  the  colonel.  "  I  regard  hoe- 
cake  as  an  excellent  article  of  food,  nutritious,  whole 
some,  and  exceedingly  palatable." 

"Well,  I  wouldn't  give  it  to  my  pig!"  cried  Dickel, 
contemptuously. 

"  The  Southern  people,"  replied  the  colonel,  ignoring 
Dickel's  last  vulgar  remark,  ".  are  extremely  fond  of 
corn-bread  in  an}7  form,  and  the  colored  people  always 
prefer  it  to  wheat,  declaring  it  more  substantial.  In 
all  Southern  households  corn-bread  is  made  three  times 
a  dajr  and  is  eaten  by  all  classes  in  preference  to  any 
other." 

"  Well,  then,  let  it  pass  that  hoe-cake  is  a  delicacy," 
sneered  Dickel.  "  But  how  about  working  in  the  cot 
ton  fields  all  day  long  in  the  blazing  hot  sun  ?  Didn't 
the  poor  darky  feel  hard  times  then  ?  " 

"  The  negroes  were  poor  people,"  replied  the  colonel. 
"  They  were  obliged  to  work  for  their  daily  bread. 
You  don't  feed  and  clothe  and  shelter  them  here  at 
the  North  without  requiring  an  equivalent  in  labor. 


144  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

The  negroes  brought  no  fortunes  with  them  from 
Africa." 

"  Poor  souls !  "  cried  Miss  McLane,  "  I  guess  they 
didn't  get  much  sympathy  from  their  masters.  I  saw 
what  slavery  was,  too/'  she  added,  addressing  Dickel. 
"Slavery  was  a  wicked,  wicked  thing!  It's  a  fact,  the 
slaveholders  used  to  whip  their  slaves  till  the  "blood 
ran  down  their  backs! " 

"Madam/'  said  the  colonel,  "can  you  name  by  name 
any  one  slave-owner  who,  to  your  own  knowledge,  did 
that?" 

"I  can!  I  can!"  excitedly  retorted  Miss  McLane; 
but  as  she  didn't  do  it,  the  fair-minded  were  left  to 
their  own  inferences.  Striving,  however,  to  make  up 
in  ferocity  for  her  inability  to  give  the  particulars,  she 
cried  out  vehemently :  "  I  positively  know,  of  my  own 
knowledge,  that  it  was  done  all  the  time,  though  the 
Southern  people  always  deny  it,  and  I  should  think 
they  would ! " 

"  Yes,  I  should  think  so,  too,"  cried  Mr.  Doan.  "  You 
Southern  people,"  he  added,  addressing  the  colonel, 
"you  won't  own  up  now  how  you  used  to  larrup  your 
niggers  in  the  old  slave  days.  The  stories  that  have 
been  told  under  that  head  can't  be  all  false.  Where 
there's  so  much  smoke  there  must  be  some  fire." 

Before  long  there  were  others  who  joined  in  these 

/•"  attacks  on  the  peaceable  Southerner.     Nothing  very 

/  new,  and  certainly  nothing  original,  was  said.    The 

aged  Wiswells  never  failed  to  proclaim,  two  or  three 

times  apiece,  that  slavery  was  abolished.     Somebody 

was  sure  to  remind  the  colonel  that  the  South  got 

licked,  that  Jeff  Davis  ought  to  have  been  "  hung," 

that  the  war  was  an  awful  wicked  thing,  and  that  the 

Union  had  been  saved.     Dickel  went  over  his  staple 

arguments  continually,  and  nearly  everybody  had  a 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       145 

word  to  say.  But  there  were  a  few  who  were  silent — 
some  because  experience  had  convinced  them  that  if 
they  wanted  to  get  enough  to  eat  at  the  Van  Tassels' 
table  they  must  begin  at  once  and  eat  diligently  to  the 
end.  Others  were  silent  from  a  fine  sense  of  commer 
cial  discretion  and  the  fear  of  making  enemies;  and 
others,  again,  because  they  had  money — they  kept  a 
bank  account  and  owned  real  estate;  they  occupied 
the  Van  Tassels'  best  rooms,  and  were  above  joining 
in  a  promiscuous  conversation  in  a  boarding-house. 
Those  who  talked  the  loudest  and  had  the  most  to 
say  occupied  the  smallest  rooms  on  the'  top  floor. 
There  were  still  others  who  were  silent  because  they 
were  your  amiable  people  who  never  take  sides.  They 
are  always  neutral.  They  imagine  their  neutrality  is 
religion  pure  and  undefiled,  instead  of  simply  pure 
selfishness.  They  are  neutral  because  they  care  for 
nobody  and  nothing  but  themselves. 

As  for  the  Esterbrooks,  they  assured  the  colonel 
that  the  animosity  and  virulence  manifested  by  so 
many  of  the  boarders  was  not  a  fair  indication  of  the 
feeling  of  the  better  classes  at  the  North;  that,  in  fact, 
all  those  who  did  the  talking  were  only  "  very  com 
mon,  vulgar  people,"  and  quite  beneath  his  notice. 

But  such  consolation  was  something  like  trying  to 
talk  down  the  tooth-ache.  The  colonel's  peace  of 
mind  was  very  seriously  disturbed.  He  had  heard 
that  slavery  was  abolished,  that  the  Union  had  been 
saved,  and  that  the  South  had  been  licked  so  many 
times  that  he  dreamed  about  it;  and  he  longed  for 
nothing  so  much  as  the  seclusion  and  privacy  of  his 
own  hearthstone.  But  the  mountain  air  was  evidently 
a  benefit  to  his  wife  and  daughter,  and  he  strove  to 
maintain  his  equanimity. 

His  wife  suggested  changing  their  boarding-house, 
10 


146  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

and  proposed  concealing  the  fact  that  they  were  South 
erners;  besides,  perhaps  it  would  be  better  to  change 
on  Eva's  account. 

The  colonel  had  the  same  thought. 

"If  it  is  only  a  little  girlish  fancy,  she  might  not 
think  of  him  again,"  said  the  mother. 

The  colonel  agreed  with  his  wife  that  they  had  bet 
ter  go.  His  whole  heart  and  soul  and  every  fibre  of 
his  being,  especially  in  the  present  state  of  his  feelings, 
revolted  against  the  thought  that  any  stronger  tie 
should  grow  up  between  his  only  child  and  this  young 
Northerner. 

So  the  next  day  he  broke  the  news  to  the  Van  Tas 
sels  that  they  were  going. 

He  found  the  whole  Van  Tassel  family  congregated 
in  a  small  room  adjoining  the  boarders'  dining-room 
and  used  by  them  as  their  own  refectory. 

"  Going,  hay ! "  cried  old  Dave  Van  Tassel,  an  old 
man  in  his  shirt  sleeves.  "  What  you  go'n'  fur  this 
soon  ?  "  he  demanded  belligerently.  "  You  can't  go  'fore 
your  week's  up !  We  don't  take  no  transients  here." 

The  rest  of  the  family,  a  crowd  of  grown-up  sons 
and  daughters  and  their  mother,  all  partners  and 
share-owners  in  the  Pleasant  View  House,  sat  looking 
on  in  silence,  but  with  hostile  mien  and  gaze.  It  was 
the  old  man's  prerogative  to  do  the  talking  till  he  ran 
out  of  arguments,  when  it  devolved  on  the  others  to 
come  to  this  support. 

"  I  shall  pay  you  for  the  entire  week,"  replied  the 
colonel  suavely.  "  I  am  very  sorry  to  leave  you.  We 
all  liked  it  very  much  here.  I  think  the  air  has  bene 
fited  my  wife  and  daughter,  and  certainly  the  scenery 
here  is  charming." 

Now  there  was  nothing  that  pleased  old  man  Van 
Tassel  like  having  any  one  speak  like  this  of  the  Pleas- 


THE   COLONEL  AND  THE   BOARDERS.  147 

ant  View  House.  He  was  just  as  proud  of  the  air  and 
scenery  of  his  establishment  as  if  he  had  made  them 
both  himself.  He  was  therefore  greatly  mollified, 
though  far  from  reconciled. 

"  I  don't  see  what  you  want  to  go  fur,"  he  grumbled. 
"Don't  the  table  suit  ye?  If  it  don't,  speak  out;  we 
won't  take  it  amiss.  My  gal,  Rosy,  here,  she's  the 
pastry  cook;  she  makes  all  the  desart;  we  make  our 
own  pies  here — we  don't  never  buy  no  fact'ry  pies! 
An'  Jinny  there,  she  cooks  the  hearty  wittles;  and 
mother,  she  makes  the  bread.  Now,  if  there's  any 
thing  amiss,  they're  will'n'  to  1'arn." 

"  The  table  is  perfectly  satisfactory,  I  assure  you," 
replied  the  colonel.  "I  have  not  a  word  of  complaint 
to  utter.  The  bread  especially  is  very  excellent,"  he 
added,  bowing  to  the  delighted  breadmaker. 

"  Mebbe  your  bed  don't  suit,"  continued  the  old  man 
with  a  conscience-smitten  look  as  he  remembered  that 
the  bed  was  not  the  very  best  in  the  house.  "  If  it 
don't,  we  kin  give  ye  another  one.  An'  say,  mother, 
mebbe  the  colonel's  bed  wants  a  leetle  look'n'  to.  We'll 
have  that  fixed  all  rigiit,"  he  added,  nodding1  confiden 
tially  to  the  colonel ;  "  an'  we'll  change  yer  mattress 
this  ar'ternoon." 

"  Oh,  no,  no;  it  would  not  be  worth  while! "  returned 
the  colonel.  "  We  are  not  leaving  through  any  dissat 
isfaction  with  your  house,  I  assure  you." 

"I  wouldn't  wonder  but  what  the  dorg  keeps  ye 
awake,"  still  pursued  the  old  man,  recalling  the  fact 
that  this  faithful  beast  held  his  nocturnal  vigils  at  the 
corner  of  the  house  under  the  colonel's  windows.  "I 
was  a  calc'lat'n'  to  have  that  dorg  chained  up  in  the 
barn,  an'  I'll  do  it  this  very  nigiit." 

"  The  dog  doesn't  disturb  us  in  the  least,"  replied 
the  colonel. 


148  COL.   JUDSOtf  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  Father/'  ventured  one  of  the  girls,  the  same  who 
waited  on  the  colonel's  table,  "  don't  ye  know  what  I 
was  tell'n'  ye  ? " 

The  old  man  looked  wonderingly  at  his  daughter  a 
moment;  then  a  light  dawned  upon  him. 

"  Oh,  fiddle-deedee ! "  he  cried,  coining  to  the  colonel, 
and  stroking  him  on  the  shoulder,  while  his  broad, 
shriveled  mouth  relaxed  into  a  fawning  grin  revealing 
his  toothless  gums.  "You  ain't  ago'n'!"  he  cried, 
patting  the  colonel  on  the  back.  "I  ain't  ago'n'  to  let 
ye !  Nancy,  here,  she's  been  tell'n'  as  how  the  boarders 
has  been  a  plaguV  ye  about  slav'ry  an'  the  Rebellion. 
But  yer  don't  need  ter  mind  that.  Folks  only  jest 
talks  pol'tics  fur  the  fun  of  it.  Say !  look  ahere !  I'll 
tell  ye  w'at  I'll  do !  I'll  give  ye  a  private  table  up 
thar  in  the  corner  of  the  front  p3razza!  Esterbrooks' 
folks  can  jine  ye  if  ye  say  so;  an'  I  won't  charge  ye 
nothV  extry.  How'll  that  suit  ?  " 

But  the  colonel,  though  greatly  distressed  to  oppose 
the  old  man's  ardent  wishes  so  resolutely,  assured  him 
that  his  decision  was  now  irrevocable.  Their  trunks 
were  packed,  and  he  had  secured  rooms  at  the  Breeze 
Lawn  House. 

"Oh,  up  to  Steve's!"  screamed  the  whole  family  in 
a  jealous  chorus.  "Well!  ye  won't  stay  there  long!" 
cried  the  old  man,  followed  by  a  chorus  of  "  No,  no,  I 
guess  not! "  from  the  rest  of  the  family. 

"  They've  got  mosquiters  up  there  to  Steve's  awful! " 
cried  the  old  man.  "You  can't  sleep!  The  biggest 
kind  o'  mosquiters!  They  have  to  keep  a  smudge  up 
there  ter  Steve's  the  biggest  part  o'  the  time." 

"  An'  chills ! "  put  in  one  of  the  sons,  eloquently. 

"Yes,"  affirmed  the  old  man.  "It's  malarial  all 
'round  there  at  Steve's.  'Tain't  no  elevation  there  at 
Steve's  to  speak  of — not  more'n  a  couple  hund'ed  feet, 
if  'tis  that," 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       149 

"'Tain't  that!"  interposed  one  of  the  sons. 

"  No,  I  doubt  if  it  is,"  amended  the  old  man,  conscien 
tiously.  "  And  here  you've  got  eighteen  hundred  and 
seventy-nine  feet  by  act'al  survey ;  an'  you  don't  find 
no  healthier  place  anywhere  in  the  Catskills  than  this. 
As  fur  the  vittles  up  ter  Steve's — ye  needn't  look  to 
git  no  sech  bread  as  my  woman  makes.  Steve  buys 
the  cheapest  kind  o'  flour.  An'  they  use  tub  butter 
the  season  through.  You  don't  see  no  tub  butter  go 
on  my  table;  an'  ye  don't  never  git  no  old  sett'n'  hens 
an'  old  roosters  here  for  spring  chick'ns  like  they  give 
their  boarders  up  ter  Steve's." 

"  An'  the  ice-cream,  father,"  modestly  suggested  the 
pastry  cook. 

"  Bet  yer  life  you  don't  git  no  sech  ice-cream  as  Rosy 
makes,  up  thar  at  Steve's." 

"  Frozen  corn-starch  and  milk,  that's  what  they 
make,"  put  in  the  pastry  cook,  scornfully. 

"Steve  don't  give  his  boarders  no  cream  at  all,  con 
tinued  the  old  man.  Noth'n'  but  skim  milk  'n  water." 

"  An'  the  water  at  Steve's  is  bad,  too,"  added  one  of 
the  sons. 

"Yes,"  affirmed  the  old  man.  "Steve's  well  gives 
out  every  summer;  an*  their  spring  is  full  o'  wigglers 
and  polly-wogs  and  green  slime.  Thej^  have  to  strain 
every  mite  o'  water  that  goes  on  the  boarders'  table. 

"  Oh,  I  know  you  won't  stay  at  Steve's  if  you  go 
there.  About  them  people  that  plagues  ye  so  at  your 
table — they're  go'n  'away  in  a  day  or  so — their  time's 
'most  up.  An'  as  to  that,  Steve's  boarders  '11  pitch 
inter  ye  worse  'n  mine.  Steve  ain't  got  no  sech  board 
ers  as  I've  got,  an'  he  never  had.  Look  at  the  Blais- 
dells  with  their  own  kerriage  an'  two  nusses." 

But  in  spite  of  all  the  old  man  could  say,  the  colonel 
slipped  out  of  his  avaricious  clutches. 


150  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

"But  ye  ain't  ago'n'  to-day  ?"  he  cried  anxiously. 

"  We  Shall  not  go  till  after  breakfast  to-morrow/' 
replied  the  colonel,  to  the  old  man's  great  satisfaction; 
and  his  heart  was  still  further  gladdened  by  the  colo 
nel's  speaking  for  a  carriage  to  take  a  drive  that 
afternoon,  as  they  wished  to  visit  the  "  points  of  inter 
est,"  of  which  the  circular  spoke,  before  leaving. 

"You  don't  find  no  grander  sights  nowhere  than 
right  'round  here,"  cried  the  old  man.  "  When  ye  go 
'round  this  ar'ternoon  an'  see  for  yerself,  I  know  ye 
ain't  go'n'  to  leave  us.  Say  I  I  hear  you  like  Injun 
bread!  We've  been  ago'n'  to  make  some;  but  we've 
been  wait'n'  for  new  meal.  We  won't  wait  no  longer. 
You  shall  have  some  Injun  bread  for  yer  supper! 
Mother,  she's  a  reg'ler  brick  at  mak'n'  Injun  bread! 
Ain't  ye,  mother  ?  They  can't  make  no  Injun  bread 
fur  ye  up  ter  Steve's ! " 

While  the  colonel  was  gone  to  impart  the  news  of 
his  intended  departure  to  the  Van  Tassels,  Mrs.  Jud- 
son  went  in  quest  of  her  daughter,  whom  she  found  in 
her  room,  dressing  for  a  drive  writh  the  Esterbrooks. 

"My  dear,"  she  said,  "you  were  so  charmed  with  the 
Breeze  Lawn  House  the  night  of  the  german,  I  hope 
you  will  be  pleased  to  hear  that  your  pa  has  engaged 
rooms  there  for  us." 

"  Oh !  ma ! "  cried  Eva,  in  anything  but  joyous  tones, 
while  the  blood  leaped  to  her  face  and  neck.  "Are 
we  going  away  from  here,  ma  ?  " 

"  Yes,  dear.  Your  pa  is  too  much  annoyed  by  those 
people  at  the  table.  He  finds  no  enjoyment  in  remain 
ing  here.  I  know  you  will  not  like  to  go  away;  but 
you  will  make  friends  there,  darling,  that  you  will  like 
as  well  as  you  do  the  Esterbrooks." 

"  Oh,  ma,  no  indeed !  I  shall  never,  never  see  any 
body  in  this  world  again  that  I  do  love  and  admire  so 


THE   COLONEL   AND  THE   BOARDERS.  151 

much  as  I  do  the  Esterbrooks ! "  And  the  young  girl 
burst  into  tears. 

"  Why,  Eva ! "  exclaimed  her  mother,  in  consterna 
tion.  "  I  am  astonished ! " 

"It's  all  over  now,  ma!"  returned  Eva  the  next 
moment,  hastily  brushing  away  her  tears.  "  I  know 
how  pa  has  been  tormented  here.  It  made  me  angry, 
too,  to  hear  those  people  talk  so  to  pa.  Oh,  I  don't 
wonder  pa  wants  to  go  away !  I  love  everything  and 
everybody  here  at  the  North  but  those  Republicans!" 

"The  Esterbrooks  are  Republicans,  dear." 

"  Oh,  ma,  no,  not  regular  ones.  They  have  changed 
their  views  a  great  deal  since  talking  with  pa.  They 
told  me  this  morning-  that  pa  had  enlightened  them  a 
great  deal.  If  Mr.  Esterbrook  goes  to  Albany  for  an 
other  term,  I  fully  believe  he  will  go  as  a  Democrat — 
though,  ma,  I  don't  mean  he  has  ever  told  me  so  in 
express  terms." 

"Well,  dear,  it  is  only  three  or  four  miles  to  the 
Breeze  Lawn  House;  and  no  doubt  the  Esterbrooks 
will  drive  over  occasionally." 

She  wiped  the  last  tears  from  her  daughter's  face 
and  kissed  her  tenderly. 

"  Ma,  don't  tell  pa  I  cried.  He  will  think  me  so  self 
ish  to  want  to  stay  here  where  he  is  so  annoyed." 

"  Very  well,  dear,  I  shall  not  mention  it.  Now,  dear, 
your  pa  and  I  are  going  to  take  a  drive,  too." 

"  Then  am  I  to  go  with  you  and  pa  instead  of  with 
the  Esterbrooks  ?  "  cried  Eva,  in  ill-concealed  alarm, 

"  No,  dear,"  replied  the  mother,  not  without  a  pang. 
"  You  must  go  with  them,  as  you  have  promised. 
Mrs.  Esterbrook  is  going  with  us,  and  we  will  go  in 
company;  so  if  we  leave  the  carriages  for  a  ramble 
we  can  all  go  together." 

"Well,  ma,  that  will  be  nice!" 


152  COL.   JUDSON   OF    ALABAMA. 

"  Now,  dear,  you  are  going  to  try  to  be  cheerful,  are 
you  not  ?  " 

"  Yes,  ma,"  returned  Eva,  laying  her  cheek  against 
her  mother's  and  trying  to  appear  satisfied  and  happy ; 
yet  for  all  that  the  world  seemed  very  dark  and 
dreary;  and  when  her  mother  left  her,  she  again 
lapsed  into  tears;  and  thus  the  Esterbrook  sisters 
found  her  when  they  came  to  see  if  she  was  ready  for 
the  drive. 

"  Oh !  what  is  the  matter  ?  "  they  cried  in  a  chorus, 
as  they  beheld  her  tear-stained  face. 

"  We  are  going  away ! "  cried  Eva,  sobbing  afresh. 
"Pa's  engaged  rooms  at  the  Breeze  Lawn  House! 
We're  going  to-morrow ! " 

"  Oh,  dear !  dear !  isn't  that  too  bad ! "  cried  the  two 
girls.  <e  What  made  your  papa  want  to  go  there  ?  " 

"  Oh,  poor  pa  couldn't  bear  those  awful  people  at 
our  table.  I  don't  blame  pa  for  that!  And,  oh!  dear 
me !  I  wouldn't  have  pa  know  for  anything  how  I  hate 
to  leave!  But  I  had  to  have  my  cry  out! " 

"  But  you  are  not  going  to  give  up  going  with  us 
this  afternoon  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  indeed !  I  wouldn't  miss  going  for  any 
thing  ! "  cried  Eva,  beginning  to  bathe  her  face  ener 
getically.  "  Do  I  look  as  if  I  had  been  cr3Ting  ?  " 

"  No,  indeed,  not  a  bit ! "  agreed  the  sisters,  although 
the  poor  girl's  eyes  were  very  red  indeed.  "  You  look 
real  sweet,"  added  Miss  Laura.  "  Doesn't  she,  Ellie  ?  " 

"  Indeed  she  does ! "  returned  Ellie,  sympathetically. 

"  Do  you  think  your  brother  will  see  I've  been  cry 
ing?"  asked  Eva,  anxiously. 

The  sisters  declaring  that  Warner  would  never  sus 
pect  it  in  the  world,  she  put  on  her  hat  and  gloves, 
took  her  parasol,  and  then  cast  one  last  look  in  the 
glass. 


THE  COLONEL  AND  THE  BOARDERS.       153 

"  Oh,  my  eyes  do  look  frightfully  red !  "  she  exclaimed. 

"  You  look  like  a  dear  little  angel ! "  cried  Laura. 

"  You  look  like  a  dear  little  martyr  just  going  to  be 
burned  at  the  stake,"  added  Ellie.  "  You  Look  real  in 
teresting  and  lovely ;  and  Warner  will  think  so  too. 
Crying  improves  you ! " 

Thus  comforted,  Eva  went  down-stairs  with  the  two 
sisters  and  found  the  honorable  senator  awaiting 
them  on  the  piazza. 

The  colonel,  Mrs.  Judson,  and  Mrs.  Esterbrook  had 
started  in  advance. 

Esterbrook  had  heard  the  news;  but  he  was  confi 
dent  the  whole  terrible  affliction  Avould  pass  away. 

"  I  don't  believe  you're  going,"  he  said  positively. 

"  Oh,  don't  you  ?  "  cried  Eva,  with  a  gleam  of  hope. 

"  Why  not  ?  " 

The  senator  stated  the  grounds  of  his  belief.  He  had 
just  been  around  to  the  back  door  talking  with  Mr. 
Van  Tassel  and  had  learned  what  arrangements  the 
old  man  was  making  to  abolish  everything  that  was 
driving  the  colonel  away. 

" He  won't  go!"  cried  the  old  man  victoriously  at 
the  conclusion  of  his  prospectus  of  improvements;  and 
the  senator  now  echoed  that  sentiment. 

"  You  won't  go,  I  know  you  won't." 

"  I  hope  we  sha'n't,"  returned  Eva,  wistfully.  "  The 
air  is  so  lovely  here;  and  the  scenery  is  so  beautiful  I 
do  hate  to  go,"  and  she  gained  hope  and  courage  as 
the  carriage  rolled  down  the  hill  and  she  felt  the  in 
spiring  influence  of  the  exhilarating  ozone. 


154  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

THE  END  OP  A  GRAND  SPECULATION. 

AMONG  the  "points  of  interest"  mentioned  in  Mr. 
Van  Tassel's  modest  little  circular,  and  which  the  old 
man  charged  the  colonel  on  no  account  to  miss  seeing, 
was  a  famous  waterfall  in  the  woods  reached  by  a 
foot-path  leading  from  the  highway  opposite  the  old 
brick  church. 

In  accordance  with  his  solemn  engagement  to  old 
man  Van  Tassel,  the  colonel  had  faithfully  led  the 
party  through  the  woods  to  the  waterfall,  it  had  been 
duly  admired,  the  Esterbrook  sisters  had  just  com 
pleted  a  little  sketch  of  it,  and  the  party  was  about 
returning  to  their  carriages,  when,  above  the  noise  of 
the  falling  water,  they  heard  the  sounds  of  a  female 
voice  shouting: 

"Colonel!  Colonel  I" 

4  The  whole  party  halted  in  amazement  and  looked 
back;  and  in  the  edge  of  the  woods,  at  a  short  dis 
tance,  they  beheld  two  female  figures,  one  of  which  was 
approaching  them  at  a  high  rate  of  speed  though  with 
a  limping  gait,  beckoning  and  shouting  vociferously. 

Leaving  the  ladies  in  charge  of  the  senator,  the  colo 
nel,  in  great  wonderment,  hastened  to  the  frantic  wo 
man;  but,  with  no  suspicion  whatever  that  the  Gippses 
were  traveling  in  the  Catskills,  much  less  that  Miss 
Tillie  was  expecting  so  soon  to  form  a  matrimonial 
alliance  with  himself,  it  was  by  no  means  strange  that 
he  had  great  difficulty  in  recogizing,  in  the  distracted 


THE   END   OF  A  GRAND  SPECULATION.  155 

female  approaching-  him,  his  late  landlady  from  the 
city. 

The  Gipps  family  had  been  following-,  for  about  a 
quarter  of  a  mile,  the  beaten  path  through  the  woods 
which  they  struck  after  their  memorable  escape  from 
the  blackberry  bog1  and  the  hornets,  when,  suddenly, 
they  came  within  sound  of  voices  and  falling  water; 
and  looking  cautiously  ahead,  they  beheld  the  little 
cascade  tumbling1  over  jagged  rocks  into  the  valley 
below,  and,  standing-  near,  contemplating-  the  scene, 
the  colonel  and  his  party. 

The  bruised,  mud- stained,  scratched  up,  and  bat 
tered  pilgrims  in  the  edge  of  the  woods  slunk  back  in 
shame  and  mortification  behind  the  trees  and  peeped 
stealthily  out;  but  the  next  moment  they  had  recog-- 
nized  the  colonel  and  two  of  his  companions. 

"  What  can  that  mean  ?  "  cried  Miss  Tillie.  "  It's 
the  Jewess  and  that  red-headed  girl,  both,  as  true  as 
Hive!" 

It  was  at  that  moment  that  the  party  turned  away; 
seeing  which,  Mrs.  Gipps,  thinking-  at  that  moment 
only  of  the  money  she  wanted  to  borrow,  started  in 
pursuit,  shouting  at  the  top  of  her  voice  for  the  colo 
nel  to  stop. 

"  Colonel,  is  that  you  ?  "  she  whimpered,  losing-  both 
courage  and  presence  of  mind  the  nearer  she  ap 
proached. 

"My  dear  madam!"  cried  the  colonel,  recognizing- 
her  at  last.  "You  astonish  me!  I  found  you  were 
awaj7"  from  home  when  I  stopped  at  your  house  on 
Monday,  for  which  I  was  sorry,  as.I  wished  to  give  up 
my  room — pray,  have  you  not  met  with  some  acci 
dent?" 

"  To  give  up  your  room !  "  shrieked  the  bereaved  land 
lady,  indifferent  to  all  else, 


156  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  Yes,  it  was  necessary — imperatively  so.  I  took 
my  baggage  away.  I  found  your  card  on  the  door 
bell.  I  returned  the  keys  to  the  drug  store  again  and 
left  a  note  of  explanation." 

"  Colonel  Flushing!  (if  that's  your  name!)  what  does 
this  mean,  sir?  Have  you  been  trifling  with  my 
daughter's  affections  all  summer?  Are  you  such  a 
monster?  Who  are  those  two  women?  I  went  to 
Fire  Island,  sir!  You  registered  there  as  'Colonel 
Flushing  and  wife/  and  in  the  Catskills  as  '  Colonel 
Judson  and  wife.'  I'll  expose  you,  sir! " 

"  Madam,  one  of  those  ladies  is  my  wife ;  the  other  is 
my  daughter/'  and  the  colonel  turned  indignantly 
away,  rejoined  the  others,  and  disappeared  down  the 
hill  without  perceiving  what  had  come  over  the 
wretched  woman,  who,  no  sooner  had  the  full  import 
of  his  words  reached  her  mind  than  she  sank  down 
upon  the  ground,  speechless,  staring  at  vacancy,  a 
death- like  pallor  in  her  countenance,  and  her  whole 
appearance  indicating  a  cataleptic  fit. 

"What's  the  matter?  What  did  you  find  out? 
What's  he  gone  off  for  ?  "  cried  Miss  Tillie,  coming  im 
mediately  from  her  lurking  place  as  the  colonel  turned 
away.  "  Did  he  tell  you  anything  ?  "  she  pursued  with 
breathless  eagerness. 

But  still  her  mother  sat  there,  speechless,  motion 
less,  corpse-like,  staring  at  vacancy. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  you,  for  pity's  sake  ?  Why 
can't  you  tell  me  what  he  said  to  you  ? "  whimpered 
Miss  Tillie,  gazing  at  her  mother  both  in  affright  at 
her  strange  appearance  and  in  deep  anxiety  as  to 
what  revelation  the  colonel  had  made  to  have  produced 
this  awful  result.  "I  should  think  you  might  have 
some  regard  for  my  feelings,"  she  whined,  "  and  not 
sit  there  looking  that  way,  when  you  know  I'm  that 


THE    END   OF  A   GRAND   SPECULATION.  157 

crazy  to  know  what   he   said  I'm  most   out   of  my 
senses." 

But  still  her  mother  sat  there,  rigid,  speechless, 
corpse-like,  staring  at  vacancy  with  eyes  glassy  and 
sightless. 

"  O  Lord !  what  shall  I  do !  I  guess  she's  gone  out 
of  her  mind!"  wailed  the  daughter  at  last,  an  awful 
dread  of  her  mother's  person  coining  over  her.  "  What 
could  he  have  told  her! " 

Her  blood  ran  cold  as  she  stood  afar  off,  gazing  upon 
her  mother  with  horror.  "  I  believe  she's  a  corpse  al 
ready  ! "  she  muttered,  "  and  I  here  alone  with  her  in 
the  woods !  Ugh ! "  and  the  goose-flesh  stood  out  all 
over  her. 

At  that  moment  she  heard  a  rustling  among  the 
bushes  and  a  young  country  girl  with  a  tin  pail  full  of 
berries  stepped  into  the  path. 

"  Oh,  say ! "  called  Miss  Tillie,  "do  come  and  help  me ! 
My  mother  has  been  thrown  out  of  a  carriage  and  I 
don't  know  but  she's  dead!" 

The  young  woman,  the  wife  of  a  young  farmer  in  the 
vicinity,  wondering  greatly  how  the  unfortunate  vic 
tim  of  the  carriage  accident  came  to  be  so  far  away 
from  her  carriage,  but  without  stopping  to  ask  idle 
questions,  ran  for  assistance,  and  Miss  Tillie,  anxious 
to  escape  the  awful  presence  of  the  thing  on  the  ground, 
hurried  after,  pleading  her  own  injuries  as  an  excuse, 
and  was  soon  led  into  a  comfortable  farmhouse,  where, 
complaining  bitterly  of  her  bodily  infirmities  and 
bruises,  she  awaited  the  arrival  of  her  mother  in  charge 
of  the  farmer  and  his  men. 

It  was  half  an  hour  or  more  before  these  good  peo 
ple  announced  that  their  patient  had  "come  to;"  and 
then  Miss  Tillie,  who  had  completely  shirked  the  care 
of  her  mother  upon  these  strangers,  and  had  passed 


158  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

the  interval  in  nursing  her  wounds,  in  eating  what 
dinner  the  scared  hired  girl  had  been  able  to  set 
forth  between  trips  to  see  whether  the  other  lady 
was  a  corpse  or  a  live  person,  passed  into  the  farmer's 
best  bedroom  and  found  her  mother  a  shade  or  two 
nearer  her  natural  complexion,  intelligence  once  more 
gleaming  from  her  eye,  and  reason  on  its  throne,  but 
with  a  very  glum  look  on  her  face,  lying,  limp  and 
spiritless,  on  the  farmer's  best  spare  bed. 

Approaching  slowly  and  cautiously,  her  own  face 
pale  and  apprehensive,  Miss  Tillie  clasped  her  hands 
tight  around  the  post  at  the  foot  of  the  bed,  saying, 
with  a  meeching,  shame-faced  look: 

"Well,  how  you  feeling  now  ?" 

The  white-faced,  listless  woman  on  the  bed  seemed 
galvanized  into  life  by  the  apparition  of  her  daughter. 
She  slowly  rose  to  a  sitting  posture,  sat  gazing  wildly 
for  a  moment  into  her  stricken  face  and  broke  into  a 
maniacal  laugh: 

"Ha!  ha!  ha!  that  Jewess  is  his  wife !  Ha!  ha!  ha! 
the  red-headed  girl  is  his  own  daughter!"  and  then  in 
a  more  natural  tone  of  voice  she  screamed :  "  You  are 
always  thinking  some  man  is  in  love  with  you,  Mati^a 
Gipps!" 

Miss  Tillie,  as  her  mother  rose  from  the  pillow,  un 
clasped  her  hand  from  the  bed-post  and  recoiled  in 
affright;  but  when  these  awful  words  smote  upon  her 
ear,  her  face  blanched,  and,  raising  her  hand  as  if  to 
ward  off  a  blow,  she  cried  out  breathlesslj7 : 

"  That's  enough !     I  won't  hear  another  word !  " 

Mrs.  Gipps  dropped  back  upon  her  pillow  as  if  ex 
hausted;  but  she  soon  rose  again,  by  this  time  so  far 
restored  to  her  normal  condition  as  to  think  of  her 
pocketbook.  Miss  Tillie  stood  with  averted  face  look 
ing  out  of  the  window,  but,  quite  oblivious  of  the  peace- 


THE   END   OF  A   GRAND   SPECULATION.  159 

ful  beauty  of  the  landscape,  she  was  trying  to  fix  the 
responsibility  in  this  affair,  and  also  trying  to  think 
with  whom  it  would  be  advisable  for  her  to  fall  in  love 
next,  for  marry  she  must,  and  that,  too,  right  away,  it 
being  out  of  the  question  to  live  with  this  unnatural 
mother  of  hers  any  longer. 

Meanwhile,  Mrs.  Gipps  was  silently  counting  her 
money.  This  exceedingly  light  task  accomplished, 
she  grimly  ordered  her  daughter  to  go  and  ask  the 
farmer's  wife  if  her  husband  would  take  them  to  the 
boat-landing  at  Catskill,  and  what  he  would  charge. 

The  farmer's  wife  thought  her  husband  would  do  it 
if  they  could  wait  till  morning,  as  he  was  then  going 
down  on  his  own  account;  but  she  could  not  be  in 
duced  to  commit  herself  as  to  the  charges.  She  would 
only  say :  "  Oh,  he  won't  charge  ye  much.  He'll  be 
reasonable.  We  ain't  like  some  folks.  We  ain't  on 
the  make  all  the  time." 

Mrs.  Gipps  had  not  been  so  near  death's  door  but 
that  she  was  still  anxious  to  keep  up  appearances,  and, 
thinking  of  her  financial  condition,  declared  that  it 
would  be  impossible  to  wait  till  morning,  as  she  had 
very  important  business  to  attend  to  at  home;  and 
the  farmer,  whose  name  was  Burke,  finally  consented 
to  "  hitch  up  "  forthwith,  though  he  complained  that  it 
was  a  little  inconvenient,  as  he  was  hurrying  to  get 
in  his  rye.  As  to  the  charges,  well,  he  didn't  know. 
What  did  she  feel  like  giving  ?  Mrs.  Gipps  brazenly 
offered  two  dollars.  The  farmer  laughed  sardonically 
and  declared  that  he  ought  to  have  ten,  but,  in  consid 
eration  of  the  fact  that  he  was  going  anyhow  on  his 
own  account,  which  his  wife,  with  feeble  business  in 
stinct,  had  already  revealed,  he  would  take  them  for 
six.  They  finally  came  together  on  four  dollars.  The 
dinner  (codfish  and  potatoes  and  Miss  Tillie's  favorite 
rice  "  pudden  "  with  eggs)  was  fifty  cents  apiece. 


160  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

The  bargain  struck,  the  con  veyance  was  soon  ready 
and  the  Gipps  family  embarked  for  home  in  a  long 
two-seated  farm  wagon  drawn  by  two  wretched  old 
"plugs "just  taken  from  work  in  the  field  and  not 
brushed  down  since  some  time  early  in  the  spring, 
when  they  were  shedding  their  hair. 

Miss  Tillie  and  her  mother,  very  carefully  avoiding 
one  another's  gaze,  and  neither  directly  addressing  a 
word  to  the  other  till  they  reached  the  landing,  sat  on 
the  back  seat,  and  the  young  farmer,  in  a  rumpled, 
soiled  linen  coat,  sat  in  front,  and,  truth  to  tell,  as  he 
had  not  had  time  to  perform  a  very  elaborate  toilet, 
and  had  just  come  from  an  honest  and  energetic  wield 
ing  of  pitchfork  and  rake  in  the  rye  field,  and  the  day 
was  very  hot,  the  ride  was  as  disagreeable  as  any  part 
of  the  misadventures  which  had  befallen  the  unfortu 
nate  family  that  whole  day.  In  fact,  a  rustic  swain 
cuts  a  fine  figure  only  in  sweet  bucolic  verse. 

No  sooner  had  they  left  the  shade  under  which  the 
wagon  was  standing  when  they  laboriously  climbed 
in,  than  they  missed  and  bemoaned  their  parasols  and 
gloves,  for  the  sun  was  fierce  and  there  was  no  top 
whatever  to  the  wagon.  Nor  was  this  all.  The  misery 
of  being  scorched  by  the  sun,  and  the  bodily  pain  they 
still  endured,  was  nothing  to  the  mortification  they 
felt  in  passing  elegant  carriages  with  wealthy,  con 
tented  occupants  while  riding  ignominiously  in  a  farm 
wagon  without  parasols  or  gloves  and  with  their  faces 
so  disfigured  with  stings  and  scratches. 

Their  only  relief  was  in  narrating  their  misfortunes 
to  Mr.  Burke,  rehearsing  the  way  they  had  been  vic 
timized  by  everybody,  and  recounting  the  loss  of  their 
satchel,  parasols,  and  gloves.  (Miss  Tillie  said  nothing 
of  the  loss  of  her  teeth.) 

Mr.  Burke,  who  knew  tiie  Bowlers  very  well,  and 


THE   END   OF  A   GRAND   SPECULATION.  161 

also  Bowler's  horse  and  the  way  they  were  always 
tinkering-  the  holdbacks  instead  of  getting-  them 
mended  in  the  proper  manner,  agreed  with  them,  in  an 
undertone,  that  Bowler  was  lackadaisical,  and  that 
Mrs.  Bowler,  poor  soul,  had  to  be  the  man  of  the  family. 
Therefore  he  offered  no  demur  when  Mrs.  Gipps  indig- 
nantly  declared  that  she  ought  to  be  sued  for  damages; 
and  he  took  their  view  of  the  case  when  she  announced 
that  she  neither  wished  to  see  or  hear  from  her  again, 
and  informed  him  that  he  needn't  stop  in  passing — not 
even  if  Mrs.  Bowler  came  out  and  hailed  him. 

"  There  would  only  be  hard  words,"  she  said. 

By  this  time  they  had  arrived  at  the  scene  of  the 
late  tragedy;  and  all  looked  curiously  for  the  evi 
dences  of  it. 

The  horse  was  gone,  and  Mr.  Burke  thought  some 
of  the  neighbors,  in  passing,  had  taken  him  home  to 
the  Bowlers.  But  the  fragments  of  the  wreck  still  re 
mained  where  they  had  fallen,  excepting  the  front 
wheels,  which  had  been  removed  from  the  middle  of 
the  road  and  stood  against  the  stone  wall. 

"There's  where  we  rolled  down  the  bank,"  cried  the 
heroines  of  that  catastrophe,  and  Mr.  Burke  remarked 
that  it  was  a  wonder  it  hadn't  killed  them.  But  al 
though  he  was  also  wondering  mildly  why  they  con 
tinued  on  so  far  afterward  and  were  then  so  anxious 
to  return,  he  asked  no  questions,  although  he  had  noth 
ing  to  lose  by  it  except  his  character. 

He  was  very  accommodating  withal.  As  he  neared 
the  Bowlers'  he  whipped  up  and  passed  at  such  a  lively 
rate  that  Mrs.  Bowler,  who  was  in  the  dooryard,  would 
have  failed  to  recognize  his  passengers  even  if  they 
had  not  turned  their  faces  the  other  way.  And  thus 
she  lost  her  hard-earned  dollar. 

It  was  a  long,  tedious,  fatiguing,  mortifying  journey 
ii 


162  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

to  the  two  wretched  women,  who  took  no  interest 
either  in  the  mountains,  the  farm  lands,  nor  in  any 
industry  going  on  in  the  fields  they  passed. 

They  reached  the  "boat-landing1  but  a  few  minutes 
ahead  of  time,  paid  Mr.  Burke  his  money,  and  went  on 
board.  They  had  two  dollars  and  a  half  left.  The 
fare,  without  a  stateroom,  was  a  dollar  each.  This 
they  paid  and  hurried  to  the  saloon  to  take  possession 
each  of  a  sofa,  whereon  they  designed  to  pass  the 
night.  But,  as  they  had  not  observed  on  the  up  trip, 
there  were  no  sofas  in  the  cabin  nor  in  any  part  of  the 
boat — only  chairs — a  wise  provision  of  the  owners  to 
outwit  and  circumvent  the  parsimonious  as  well  as  the 
thriftless,  who  spend  all  their  money  for  everything 
else  and  then  ornament  the  saloons  of  night  boats  with 
their  ugly,  snoring  carcasses  stretched  out  at  full 
length  on  sofas. 

The  Gipps  family  looked  about  and  took  in  the  situ 
ation  at  a  glance. 

"Onty  chairs!"  cried  Mrs.  Gipps  in  indignation  and 
consternation. 

"Only  chairs!"  cried  Miss  Tillie.  And  here  they 
were,  bruised,  sick,  and  sore,  weary  enough  to  die,  over 
come  with  losses,  tormented  with  the  pain  of  hornet 
stings,  vexed  and  maddened  with  disappointments, 
with  only  fifty  cents  between  them  to  finish  out  the 
journey,  and  only  chairs  to  sleep  in! 

It  was  very  hard,  very  cruel;  but  they  did  sleep^ 
though  only  in  cat  naps,  all  night.  Every  time  the 
boat  stopped  they  awoke,  looked  wildty  and  wretchedly 
around,  and  always  found  the  night-watch  looking  at 
them  with  a  hostile,  disapproving  gaze. 

It  was  six  o'clock  in  the  morning  when  the  boat 
reached  her  pier;  and  the  Gipps  family  tottered  to  the 
Sixth  Avenue  elevated  station,  paid  their  fare  (re- 


THE   END   OP  A   GRAND   SPECULATION.  163 

joicing  that  at  that  hour  it  was  only  five  cents),  and 
reached  home  about  seven  o'clock  Friday  morning, 
with  forty  cents  in  their  pockets — not  enough  to  ad 
vertise  for  a  new  lodger. 

They  had  run  through  with  fifty-five  dollars  and 
forty-one  cents  since  Monday  morning.  They  had 
ruined  their  best  clothes  and  lost  a  goodty  portion  of 
their  finery.  And  thus  ended  their  grand  speculation. 


164  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE  BOARDERS  KEEP  TRAMPLING  ON  THE  COLONEL'S 
POLITICAL  CORNS. 

WHEN  the  colonel  and  Mrs.  Judson  returned  from 
their  drive,  they  found  their  room  had  been  visited  in 
their  absence,  and  many  touching  evidences  of  the  Van 
Tassel  a-flection  and  esteem  were  everywhere  visible. 

The  bed  had  been  changed  (to  the  great  detriment 
of  some  other  boarder's  sleep  that  night);  ruffled  pil 
low  shams  had  been  placed  over  the  pillows;  a  clean 
white  quilt  covered  the  bed;  the  two  rickety  chairs 
had  been  sent  to  another  boarder's  room  and  replaced 
by  more  reliable  ones,  including  a  Boston  rocker  with 
a  white  tidy  and  pink  bows  on  the  back;  clean  lawn 
curtains  hung  at  the  windows,  and  the  shade  that 
wouldn't  go  up  or  down  had  been  repaired;  a  cover 
had  been  placed  on  the  soap  dish,  a  glistening  goblet 
on  the  wash  stand;  the  broken,  smoky  lamp  chimney 
had  been  exchanged  for  a  new  one;  the  wick  had  been 
cut — and,  by  an  extraordinary  effort  of  genius,  cut  al 
most  straight;  and  (most  touching  of  all!)  over  the 
mantel-piece  had  been  hung  the  photographs  (in  gilded 
oval  frames)  of  the  whole  Van  Tassel  family,  old  man 
Van  Tassel  and  "  mother,"  both  in  spectacles  and  look 
ing  very  funny  in  their  best  clothes,  being  taken  to 
gether,  seated  side  by  side,  holding  each  other's  brawny 
hands;  two  of  the  sons,  who  were  married,  were  sit 
ting  in  chairs  with  their  wives  standing  behind  their 
backs,  each  with  a  hand  on  her  husband's  shoulder; 


THE  COLONEL'S  POLITICAL  CORNS.  165 

and  every  one  of  the  family  who  was  not  dressed  in 
plaids  or  stripes  wore  blue  or  red — with  the  usual 
effect;  and  their  rings  and  watch  chains  were  all  gilded 
over,  and  their  lips  and  cheeks  painted  very  red. 

When  the  colonel  and  his  wife  went  down  to  supper 
they  found  themselves  disposed  of  in  the  corner  at  a 
small  round  table  with  the  Esterbrooks,  near  a  win 
dow  opening  on  the  piazza,  where  they  could  look  out 
upon  the  mountains.  A  large  china  vase  filled  with 
delightfully  fragrant  roses  and  other  sweet-scented 
flowers  stood  in  the  middle  of  the  table,  and,  promi 
nent  in  the  foreground,  was  a  large  plate  of  corn-bread 
cut  in  squares  and  piled  high ;  but,  alas !  for  poor  old 
Mother  Van  Tassel !  she  had  hit  very  wide  of  the  mark 
in  aiming  to  please  the  Southern  palate.  She  had 
sweetened  it  with  molasses,  "shortened"  it  generously 
with  lard,  and  had  never  dreamed  of  putting  in  any 
eggs ;  besides  all  that,  her  meal  was  old  and  wouldn't 
rise  "  nohow."  So  the  vaunted  "  Injun  bread  "  was  only 
fit  for  chicken  feed,  which  it  eventually  became. 

"  If  this  is  your  Southern  hoe-cake  and  pones,"  cried 
Esterbrook,  "  I  wouldn't  blame  our  friend  Dickel  for 
turning  it  over  to  the  pigs." 

But  the  colonel  and  his  wife  both  magnanimously 
endeavored  to  eat  of  it  out  of  regard  for  the  "  reg'ler 
brick"  who  had  made  it;  though  with  all  their  efforts, 
there  appeared  to  be  nothing  missing  from  the  heap 
ing  plate  when  the  meal  was  over. 

However,  there  were  other  delicacies  that  were  more 
successful.  There  was  real  cream  for  the  tea  and  ber 
ries  in  place  of  the  usual  chemical  compound  which 
served  that  purpose,  some  very  nice  hot  biscuit,  and  a 
pair  of  broiled  spring  chickens— the  first  sacrifice  of 
the  season;  for,  despite  the  old  man's  boastful  allusion 
to  this  item  of  his  menu,  the  Van  Tassels  cherished 


166  COL.   JUDSOK   OF  ALABAMA. 

peculiar  views  on  the  subject  of  spring  chickens.  They 
had  a  large  flock  to  which  they  pointed  with  pride; 
and  they  never  sold  any;  but  when  it  came  to  offering 
them  up  at  the  altar  of  their  boarders'  appetites,  the  • 
first  question  asked  was,  "  What  air  chick'ns  wuth 
now  ?  "  If  they  were  found  to  be  bringing-  a  high  price 
in  the  market,  old  man  Van  Tassel  would  say :  "  Too 
dear  by  a  long  chalk !  I  don't  kill  none  o'  them  chick'ns 
till  they  get  cheaper'n  that,  you  bet ! "  And  the  rest  of 
the  family,  possessing  the  same  economical  instincts, 
heartily  concurred  in  the  old  man's  methods  of  keeping 
down  the  cost  of  the  boarders'  feed. 

The  chickens  and  cream  were  pronounced  lovely  by 
the  occupants  of  the  round  table ;  so,  too,  were  the  bis 
cuit  and  the  view  from  the  window. 

"  I  hardly  believe  you  are  going  away,  Colonel,"  said 
the  senator,  hopefully. 

If  the  colonel  himself  had  begun  to  harbor  any 
doubts  on  that  subject  they  were  presently  dispelled. 

The  bustle  and  confusion  of  the  boarders  entering 
and  seating  themselves  at  the  various  tables  and  of 
the  first  service  had  no  sooner  subsided  than  Mr. 
Dickel,  looking  across  the  dining-room  from  his  place 
at  the  central  table,  called  out  to  the  colonel: 

"  Well,  Colonel,  so  3rou've  left  us,  hey  ?    Seceded  ? 

And  Mr.  Doan,  the  knife-shaker,  called  out : 

"Set  up  another  Confederacy,  hey?" 

"  Expect  we'll  see  the  stars  and  bars  floating  on  the 
breeze  before  long ! "  cried  Dickel. 

Then  Miss  McLane  said  something  which  Mr.  Dickel 
gallantly  repeated  for  her. 

"  Miss  McLane  wants  to  know  if  you're  going  to  es 
tablish  slavery  in  your  confederacy?"  and  then  he 
added  on  his  own  account :  "  I  tell  her  it  looks  a  good 
deal  that  way,  judging  by  the  plateful  of  Injun-bread 


THE  COLONEL'S  POLITICAL  CORNS.  167 

you've  got  there !  I  don't  see  what  else  you'll  do  with 
it  unless  you  get  a  lot  of  poor  niggers  to  eat  it ! "  And 
Mr.  Dickel  laughed  heartily  at  his  own  wit;  all  of 
which,  of  course,  was  very  pleasant;  but  the  colonel 
felt  little  like  joking  with  Mr.  Dickel  or  any  of  that 
crew. 

Finally  another  event  occurred  that  evening  which 
decided  him  that  it  was  impossible  to  yield  to  the 
wishes  of  the  Esterbrooks  and  the  equally  ardent 
wishes  of  the  Van  Tassels. 

Mr.  Dickel,  having  ignominiously  failed  in  getting  up 
another  political  controversy  with  the  Southerner  in 
the  parlor,  approached  him  as  he  was  promenading 
on  the  piazza  alone,  and  thus  took  his  revenge  for  the 
rebuff  he  had  suffered. 

"  Colonel,"  he  began,  fixing  his  big  bulging  black 
eyes  on  the  colonel's  face,  "  I  understood  our  friend 
Mrs.  Gipps  to  introduce  you  as  Colonel  Flushing,  but 
I  see  you  are  registered  here  as  Colonel  Judson.  If  it 
is  no  offense,  I  should  be  glad  to  know  which  is  your 
real  name." 

"  Sir,"  replied  the  colonel,  slowly  and  deliberately, 
pausing  in  his  walk  and  looking  down  in  all  his  ma 
jesty  on  the  little  man  before  him,  "  I  am  Colonel  Jud 
son  of  Alabama,  and  any  difficulty  you  may  have  with 
me  I  will  settle  with  you  under  that  name." 

"Ah!  indeed,  sir!"  sneered  Dickel,  "but  you're  in 
rather  too  high  latitude  for  that  sort  of  thing.  You're 
north  of  Mason  and  Dixon's  line  now!"  he  added  as 
he  moved  off,  apparently  thinking  a  whole  skin  the 
only  requisite  of  a  gentleman. 

Thus  it  was  that,  notwithstanding  the  great  acces 
sion  of  comforts  and  luxuries  which  the  colonel  and  his 
family  had  received,  and  the  added  blessing  of  having 
the  dog  chained  up  in  the  barn  that  night,  by  half-past 


168  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

nine  o'clock  the  next  morning  their  trunks  were  stand 
ing  on  the  piazza,  the  stage  from  the  Breeze  Lawn 
House  was  alongside,  and  old  Dave  Van  Tassel  in  his 
shirt-sleeves,  as  usual,  and  bare-headed,  with  his  thin 
gray  hair  standing  in  spikes  all  over  his  head,  sat  on 
the  piazza  rail  talking  to  the  driver,  one  of  "Steve's" 
sons. 

The  Judsons  had  not  yet  come  down. 

"  Hullo !  Jimmy,  's  that  you  ? "  called  out  the  old 
man  cordially,  to  let  him  see  right  away  that  he  was 
welcome  to  the  boarders  he  was  after. 

A  great  change  had  come  over  the  old  man's  spirits 
in  the  last  two  hours.  His  rancorous  feelings  had 
greatly  subsided;  he  was  reconciled  to  the  colonel's 
departure.  Just  as  he  sat  down  to  breakfast  that 
morning  he  received  a  telegraph  message  from  a  last 
year's  boarder  in  the  city  that  he  would  arrive  that 
afternoon  by  three  o'clock  with  his  wife,  two  grown-up 
daughters,  two  young  sons,  baby,  and  nurse.  That 
would  fill  every  room  in  the  house,  including  the  Jud 
sons'  ;  and  he  had  now  come  out  on  the  piazza  to  speed 
the  parting  guest  and  to  let  him  know  how  providen 
tial  it  was  he  was  going,  after  all,  and  to  let  Steve's 
folks  know  it,  too,  and  to  let  Steve's  folks  see  for  them 
selves  that  old  Dave  Van  Tassel  knew  manners  and 
came  out  bravely  to  see  his  boarders  off,  instead  of 
sneaking  into  the  kitchen  and  peeping  out  at  them 
through  the  blinds. 

Jimmy  Coones,  the  young  man  on  the  driver's  seat, 
returned  his  neighbor's  cheery  salutation  with  a  sheep 
ish  nod  and  a  feeble  acknowledgment  that  "it  was 
him." 

"  Wall,  now,  by  hoky !  ain't  you  a  cheeky  young  fel 
ler,"  continued  the  old  man  jestingly,  "  to  come  over 
here  ter  kerry  off  my  boarders  ?  " 


THE  COLONEL'S  POLITICAL  CORNS.  169 

Jimmy's  freckled  face  turned  very  red;  he  hung  his 
head  and  tried  to  conceal  how  cheap  he  felt  by  tick 
ling1  his  spirited  horses  with  his  whip  and  giving  him 
self  a  great  deal  to  do  to  hold  them  in  and  shout, 
"  Whoa  there,  will  ye !  whoa ! " 

"Wall,"  continued  the  old  man,  "ye  kin  hev  this 
parc'l  an'  welcome.  Fm  sick  on  'em !  I  never  had  so 
much  trouble  with  no  boarders  before,  never!  They 
was  talk'n'  ag'n  las'  night  'bout  stay'n'  another  week 
if  I  gave  'em  a  private  table;  an'  I  did  give  'em  a  pri 
vate  table,  an'  they  veered  around  ag'n  like  the 
weather-cock  on  my  barn;  an'  a  mighty  lucky  thing 
it  was  for  me  or  Fd  'a'  got  left ! "  And  then  he  told 
the  story  about  the  telegram. 

"  So  you  see,"  he  continued,  "  if  they'd  a  stayed  Fd  'a' 
had  to  turn  away  this  other  party,  an'  there's  eight  o' 
them."  He  counted  the  baby,  which  the  sharp  young 
fellow  on  the  front  seat  by  no  means  failed  to  notice. 
"  To-morrer  another  load's  a  com'n',  an'  I  don't  know 
wheer  in  time  Fm  ago'n'  to  put  'em.  Guess  Fll  hef 
to  send  'em  over  ter  yer  dad !  He !  he !  Air  ye  full 
yet?" 

"  Pooty  nigh,  I  guess,"  replied  the  young  man,  un 
able  to  look  into  the  face  of  the  neighbor,  whom  he  still 
believed  he  was  doing  a  wrong,  despite  that  individ 
ual's  stoical  endurance  and  his  boastful  claims  to  the 
contrary.  "I  guess,"  he  added,  "there  ain't  only  one 
room  left  now,  and  that's  in  the  garret." 

"  Wall,  that's  good ! "  returned  the  old  man,  with  his 
private  doubts  as  to  the  truth  of  the  story.  "About 
these  'ere  folks  ye're  ago'n'  ter  kerry  off — 1  kin  tell  yer 
father  he'll  be  sick  o'  his  barg'n !  He'll  be  as  glad  to 
git  red  o'  them  critters  as  we  be ! " 

The  young  man  holding  in  the  two  restive  steeds 
received  the  warning  like  a  stoic. 


170  COL.  JUDSOIST  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  'S  that  so  ?  "  he  murmured,  with  his  best  affecta 
tion  of  credulity. 

"Fact!"  returned  the  old  man,  "ye  can't  suit  'em 
nohow — no  use  a-try'n'.  Ye'll  hev  yer  labor  fur  yer 
pains."  And  he  recounted  the  useless  toils  and  sacri 
fices  of  the  previous  day,  not  forgetting1  the  photo 
graph  benefaction  or  old  Mother  Van  Tassel's  deli- 
cious  corn  bread,  much  less  the  destruction  of  a  pint  of 
cream  and  two  high-priced  spring  chickens,  the  mem 
ory  of  which  still  rankled  in  his  breast  and  embittered 
his  satisfaction  in  swapping  them  off  for  the  other  lot. 
"  I  never  seen  people  so  hard  to  suit,  never!  But  they 
are  Southerners — that  'counts  for  it.  They  can't  be 
satisfied  short  o'  hev'n'  a  drove  o'  niggers  runn'n'  at 
their  heels  all  the  time!  Not  but  what  they  speak 
well  o'  the  scen'ry  an'  the  air  here,  though.  The  col 
onel,  he  says  his  wife's  cured  o'  the  chills  a'ready,  an' 
his  darter  too.  Here  they  air,"  he  added,  lowering  his 
voice  as  the  Judsons  and  Esterbrooks  appeared  on  the 
stairs. 

"  Wall,"  he  continued  in  a  loud  voice,  still  addressing 
the  young  man  from  the  Breeze  Lawn  House,  affecting 
to  be  unaware  of  the  approach  of  the  party  on  the 
stairs, "  I'm  right  glad  to  hear  you're  fill'n'  up.  I'm  in 
hopes  ter  hear  yer  father'll  do  a  good  business  this 
season.  Morn'n',  Colonel ! "  he  cried  affably  as  the  col 
onel  appeared  with  his  family.  "  I'd  a  been  in  a  pooty 
pickle  if  you'd  'a'  changed  yer  mind  about  leav'n'  us, 
Colonel,"  he  said,  grinning  gleefully.  "  Here's  one  o'  my 
ole  boarders  been  an'  telegrafted  me  this  morn'n." 
And  he  told  the  telegraph  story  again,  with  an  in 
crease  to  the  party  of  one  more  grown-up  daughter 
and  an  extra  small  boy. 

"  Sorry  to  part  with  ye,  Colonel,"  he  added  hospita 
bly.  "  I'd  'a'  liked  to  'a'  kep'  ye  all  summer;  but  I 


THE  COLONEL'S  POLITICAL  COENS.  171 

guess  ye'll  like  it  over  ter  the  Breeze  Lawn  House  as 
wall  as  ye  did  here.  Ye  won't  find  no  better  air  nor 
no  better  scen'ry  anywheer  in  the  Catskills  than  over 
ter  Stephen  Coones's;  an'  's  I  say,  ye'll  like  thar  as 
wall  as  ye  did  here,  an'  better  too" — a  crafty  remark 
especially  designed  to  draw  the  colonel  out  on  the  ad 
vantages  of  the  Pleasant  View  House,  so  that  Jimmy 
Coones  might  hear  his  opinion  of  the  Van  Tassel  air 
and  scenery  from  the  colonel's  own  lips. 

"Thank  you,"  replied  the  colonel;  "we  shall  no 
doubt  find  the  Breeze  Lawn  House  in  every  way  satis 
factory;  but  I  am  sure  we  shall  not  find  more  salubri 
ous  air  or  more  beautiful  views  anywhere  than  here. 
We  were  all  charmed  with  our  drive  yesterday  "  (with 
a  slight  twinge  at  the  recollection  of  the  Gipps  epi 
sode).  "  I  want  to  thank  you,  for  myself  and  my  wife 
and  daughter,  for  the  very  great  pains  you  and  all 
your  family  have  taken  to  render  our  stay  here  agree 
able.  I  assure  you  we  shall  not  forget  it.  You  have 
been  very  kind  and  thoughtful,  and  I  feel  that  it  is  im 
possible  for  us  to  render  you  any  adequate  return." 

Poor  old  Dave  was  so  overcome  with  excess  of  joy 
on  hearing  such  an  acknowledgment  as  this  in  the 
presence  of  Steve's  intelligent  son,  that  he  felt  like 
kicking  up  his  old  heels  and  shouting  hallelujah.  He 
forgot  all  he  had  been  saying  to  Jimmy  Coones,  for 
got  all  his  hard  feelings,  and  even  forgot  the  two  la 
mented  spring  chickens  whose  precious  heads  he  had 
chopped  off  so  bootlessly;  and  never  once  did  a  shadow 
of  doubt  as  to  his  entire  desert  of  all  the  colonel  had 
uttered  disturb  his  self-complacency. 

"  Wall,  now,"  he  drawled,  with  a  grinning  face, "  I'm 
right  glad  ter  hear  ye  speak  so— I  am  that,  Colonel;  an' 
I  hope  the  air  has  done  yer  lady  good,  too." 

"  Mrs.  Judson  feels  much  stronger  and  has  rested 


172  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

better  at  night  since  she  has  been  here"  (in  spite  of 
the  dog,  he  might  have  added)  "  than  she  has  done  for 
some  time,  which  is  undoubtedly  due  to  the  air;  nor 
has  she  had  any  indication  of  a  return  of  the  chills." 

"Well,  I  dew  say  !"  grinned  the  delighted  old  man, 
looking  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye  at  Jimmy  Coones 
to  see  if  he  was  attentive.  "  I'm  right  glad  ter  hear 
it,  I'm  sure  !  Mos'  people  kin  sleep  here  if  they  kin 
anywheer;  an'  as  ter  chills,  that's  something  we  don't 
know  nothV  'bout  up  here." 

By  this  time  Mrs.  Judson  and  Eva,  assisted  by  the 
senator,  were  seated  in  the  stage,  and  the  colonel 
started  down  the  piazza  steps,  followed  by  Mr.  Van 
Tassel,  who  was  going  to  show  his  manners  still  further 
by  giving  a  farewell  handshake  to  the  ladies,  when  a 
voice  from  the  piazza,  where  now  a  number  of  the 
boarders  were  assembled,  cried  out : 

"  Going,  Colonel  ?  Sorry  we're  going  to  lose  you  ! " 
and  looking  back,  the  colonel  saw  Mr.  Doan  and  the 
rest  of  his  tormenters  watching  him  off.  "  We  shall 
miss  you  pretty  badly,  Colonel !  Sha'n't  we,  Mr.  Van 
Deusen  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Colonel,"  cried  Mr.  Van  Deusen, "  we  sha'n't 
know  what  to  do  with  ourselves  !  You  kept  us  so 
lively  all  the  time." 

"  I  guess  we  shall  have  to  take  rooms  over  at  the 
Breeze  Lawn  House,  too,"  shouted  Mr.  Doan.  "  Don't 
you  think  so,  Mr.  Dickel  ?  " 

"  Oh,  by  all  means  ! "  sneered  Dickel. 

"Miss  McLane,"  cried  Doan,  as- that  lady  appeared, 
"here's  the  colonel  leaving  us  !  I  know  you  must  be 
sorry  to  see  him  go." 

"  Oh,  yes,  very,"  replied  Miss  McLane,  with  her  most 
austere  expression. 

The  colonel  bowed  his  farewell  to  the  chorus  of  good- 


THE  COLONEL'S  POLITICAL  CORNS.  173 

bys  from  the  piazza  and  took  his  seat  in  the  stage; 
old  man  Van  Tassel  put  up  a  grimy  paw  to  Mrs.  Jud- 
son  and  Eva,  wished  them  good  luck  and  good  health, 
said  good-by  and  that  he  hoped  he  would  see  them 
again;  and  then  to  the  young  man  on  the  front  seat 
he  cried  out  tenderly: 

"Drive  keerful,  Jimmy,  my  boy;  the  ladies  is  narvous 
an'  can't  stan'  jolt'n',  ye  know." 

Jimmy  said  he  would  and  started  up  his  horses,  and 
they  were  off — Eva  looking  back  through  the  mist  in 
her  eyes,  waving  her  hand,  Mrs.  Judson  sweetly  bow 
ing,  and  the  Esterbrooks  waving  their  handkerchiefs 
from  the  piazza. 

The  next  moment  they  were  down  under  the  hill, 
and  the  people  on  the  piazza  could  no  longer  be  seen. 
Mrs.  Judson  and  the  colonel  gazed  around  delightedly 
on  the  passing  scene;  but  poor  Eva  could  see  nothing 
for  the  tears  that  kept  welling  up  in  her  eyes,  and 
she  was  glad  that  neither  her  father  nor  her  mother 
was  looking  at  her.  But  it  was  soon  over;  for  she 
was  going  away  with  a  great  hope  in  her  heart:  the 
Esterbrook  girls  had  whispered,  "  Perhaps  we  shall 
come  too  if  ma  will  consent ";  and  the  senator  had  asked 
her  twice  that  morning  what  she  thought  the  Van 
Tassels  would  say  if  his  party  were  to  leave,  too;  then 
he  asked  her  if  she  thought  she  would  want  to  leave 
the  Breeze  Lawn  House  if  his  family  came  there; 
again,  when  he  bade  her  good-by,  it  seemed  as  if  there 
was  a  meaning,  a  deep  meaning,  in  the  pressure  of  his 
hand  and  the  glance  of  his  eye  as  he  said  playfully: 

"You  needn't  think  this  is  the  last  you'll  ever  see 
of  me  !  I'm  going  to  drive  over  to  your  house  to-mor 
row,  sure." 

But  how  far  off  to-morrow  seemed  to  poor  Eva  ! 
How  in  the  world  could'  she  live  till  to-morrow!  It 


174  COL.  JUDSOIST  OF  ALABAMA. 

was  not  yet  ten  in  the  morning-.  She  wondered  he 
had  not  said  to-day,  this  evening,  or  after  supper;  and 
she  wondered  if  he  would  see  about  engaging1  rooms 
when  he  did  come,  and  whether  there  were  any  to  be 
had,  and  what  she  should  do  and  how  she  could  live  if 
they  didn't  come  at  all. 


CHAPTER  X. 

IN  LOVE  WITH  A  SOUTHERN  GIRL. 

THE  Hon.  Warner  N.  Esterbrook  saw  the  stage  of 
the  Breeze  Lawn  House  disappear  below  the  hill  with 
great  unrest.  It  was  not  at  all  proper  that  he  should 
take  horse  and  follow.  Whatever  that  dear  little 
Southern  girl  might  think,  the  colonel  had  given  him 
no  encouragement  to  perform  such  a  rhapsodical  act. 
He  knew  his  own  deficiencies  too  well.  He  was  a  Re 
publican.  He  knew  well  enough  how  sore  the  colonel's 
heart  was  on  this  subject. 

This  was  why  he  felt  obliged  to  restrain  himself, 
and  why  he  said  he  would  be  over  to-morrow  instead 
of  this  afternoon  or  evening.  But  it  almost  seemed 
as  if  he  would  have  to  take  chloroform  to  get  through 
the  day. 

As  for  staying  at  Van  Tassel's  for  anything  more 
than  a  decent  interval,  it  was  out  of  the  question. 
Only  he  wondered  what  was  a  decent  interval.  He 
wished  something  would  happen  to  compel  them  to  go 
at  once.  He  would  have  been  glad  if  the  house  had 
burned  down.  The  place  seemed  to  him  perfectly 
abominable.  He  wondered  how  he  had  ever  endured 
such  discomforts  and  miseries.  He  felt  justified  in 
leaving  the  very  next  day.  When  he  came  to  the 


IN   LOVE   WITH   A   SOUTHERN   GIRL.  175 

dinner  table  the  potatoes  tasted  soggy,  the  squash 
watery,  the  cream  fraudulent,  the  ice- water  tepid; 
and  the  meat  had  a  bad  taste  around  th3  edges. 

"  This  place  is  getting  perfectly  intolerable  !  "  he  ex 
claimed  to  his  mother  and  sisters.  "  I  wonder  you  can 
eat  anything  ! " 

"  I  do  think,  mamma,"  said  one  of  the  sisters,  "  that 
the  table  is  not  so  good  as  it  was  at  first.  Don't  you 
think  so  ?  " 

"  I  don't  see  any  difference,"  replied  Mrs.  Esterbrook. 
"  I  don't  know  that  we  could  find  anything  better  in 
these  mountain  resorts.  They  are  celebrated  for  bad 
tables,  you  know." 

"That's  very  true,  mother,"  said  the  senator,  argu- 
mentatively;  "but  after  a  certain  time  the  appetite  re 
volts  against  a  long-continued  diet  of  one  monotonous 
abomination;  it  is  better  to  try  another,  even  if  it's  a 
little  worse." 

"  But,  Warner,  it  is  so  fatiguing  to  pack  trunks  in 
warm  weather." 

"  Never  mind  that,  mother  ! "  cried  the  young  man. 
"I'll  pack  your  trunk  and  do  it  up  brown!  You 
needn't  do  one  thing  but  put  on  your  bonnet  and  get 
into  the  carriage." 

Mrs.  Esterbrook  smiled  at  the  idea  of  a  senator's 
packing  his  mother's  trunk,  but  gratefully  declined 
the  service. 

"  I  think  it  is  so  dull  here,  mamma,"  said  one  of  the 
sisters,  persuasively.  "Now  that  the  Judsons  have 
gone,  it  seems  as  if  there  is  nobody  here.  I  do  wish 
we  could  get  rooms  at  the  Breeze  Lawn  House." 

"At  the  Breeze  Lawn  House!"  exclaimed  Mrs. 
Esterbrook.  "  Would  you  want  to  go  there,  Warner  ?  " 
and  she  fixed  her  eyes  upon  her  son  with  an  affectation 
of  perfect  ignorance,  while  her  two  daughters,  after 


176  COL.  JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

studying  her  face  a  moment,  began  to  laugh,  and  her 
son,  trying  to  keep  down  the  rising  color,  replied : 

"  Why  not  ?  I  thought  when  I  was  over  there  that 
the  scenery  was  even  finer  than  it  is  here,  and  it  is 
considerably  higher.  Besides,  the  parlor  is  larger  and 
better  furnished,  and  the  piano  is  not  quite  such  an 
old  banged-up  concern.  The  piazzas  are  much  wider 
and  higher  too,  and,  moreover,  there  isn't  any  pigpen 
to  windward  that  I  could  discover.  I  saw  some  splen 
did  looking  people  there,  too.  I  don't  know  anything 
about  the  table,  of  course,  but  it  couldn't  be  worse  than 
it  is  here." 

"  Yes,  and  the  Judsons  are  there— that's  why  I  want 
to  go  there,"  said  one  of  the  sisters. 

"Yes,  I  was  going  to  add,"  continued  the  senator, 
with  great  candor,  "  that  the  fact  that  the  colonel  has 
gone  there  is  another  attraction  for  me." 

"Ahem,"  coughed  the  sisters  in  a  mischievous 
chorus. 

"  I  found  him  a  very  pleasant  companion,"  pursued 
the  senator,  with  dignity,  ignoring  the  interruption. 
"  The  information  I  have  received  from  him  with  regard 
to  the  condition  and  sentiments  of  the  Southern  peo 
ple,  I  feel  confident,  will  inure  to  my  benefit  at  no 
distant  day,  and,  I  hope,  to  the  benefit  of  mankind.  I 
should  be  very  glad  to  continue  my  association  with 
him.  As  a  public  man,  I  couldn't  enlarge  my  knowl 
edge  in  a  more  important  direction." 

"  Well,  Warner,"  replied  his  mother,  "  I  shall  not 
oppose  your  wishes.  If  you  can  get  good  cool  rooms 
there,  as  good  as  we  have  here,  get  them." 

"  Mother,  you're  a  perfect  angel !  "  cried  the  grateful 
son. 

"I  know,  my  dear,  I  know.  When  do  you  propose 
going  over  ?  " 


IN   LOVE   WITH  A   SOUTHERN   GIRL.  177 

"  To-morrow, "  was  the  decisive  response.  "It  would 
not  do  to  postpone  if  we  want  to  get  good  rooms.  And 
by  the  way,  mother,  hadn't  you  better  go  over,  too  ? 
It  would  look  better,  you  know.  I  don't  want  any 
body  to  think — I  don't  want  it  to  look  as  if  I  hatched 
out  this  project  myself.  It  doesn't  look  well  for  a 
man  in  public  life  to  be  running  about  from  one  board 
ing-house  to  another.  I  think  it  would  look  better  to 
have  people  know  that  you  and  the  girls  couldn't  stand 
the  abominations  here  any  longer." 

"I  had  no  idea  you  were  so  bashful,"  replied  Mrs. 
Esterbrook,  smiling  slyly.  "  I  will  go  over,  of  course, 
though  I  don't  see  the  necessity." 

To  his  sisters  the  young  man  was  more  outspoken. 
He  sought  them  after  dinner,  in  their  room,  where 
they  were  reading  novels  and  trying,  on  principle,  to 
keep  from  going  to  sleep,  and  had  a  very  candid  con 
versation  with  them. 

.  "  Girls,"  he  began,  "  I  want  to  have  a  talk  with  you 
about  going  over  to  the  Breeze  Lawn  House.  Now 
this  is  confidential,  you  understand." 

"  How  awful  to  be  in  love  in  hot  weather  ! "  mur 
mured  Laura,  pityingly. 

"You're  getting  awfully  thin,  Warner,"  added  Ellie, 
surveying  her  brother  with  affected  concern.  "  Your 
constituents  would  be  alarmed  to  see  you  ! " 

"  I  don't  see  the  relevance  of  your  remarks,"  replied 
the  brother.  "I  came  in  to  speak  with  you  about 
going  over  to  the  Breeze  Lawn  House  if  you  can  spare 
the  time." 

"  Well,  speak,"  cried  Laura,  laying  her  book  in  her 
lap.  "  Is  it  anything  about  Eva  ?  " 

"  Nothing  whatever.  I  only  want  to  get  away  from 
this  miserable  hole  as  soon  as  possible." 

"Well,  if  you  mean  by  that,"  returned  Laura,  "that 

12 


178  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

you're  only  flirting,  and  after  getting  poor  Eva  to  fall 
madly  in  love  with  you " 

"  Oh,  what  perfect  drivel !  You  must  be  reading 
some  trashy  novel !  Here,  let  me  throw  that  book 
out  of  the  window,  to  begin  with." 

"  Go  'way  ! "  cried  Laura,  hugging  her  book. 

"  I  am  going  to  see  what  I  can  do  at  Albany  this 
winter  to  abolish  novels  ! " 

"Well,  I  wish  to  goodness  you  would  I"  returned 
Laura.  "  It  would  be  a  great  burden  off  my  mind  if 
I  didn't  ever  have  to  read  any  more  novels — or  any 
thing  else.  I'm  only  reading  this  one  so  I  can  say  I 
have  read  it.  Now  go  on  about  Eva." 

"  I  just  wanted  to  impress  it  on  your  mind  that  you 
and  mother  must  shoulder  the  whole  responsibility  for 
this  change.  Will  you  ?  " 

"We'll  see  about  it,  Mr.  Esterbrook,"  answered 
Laura.  "But  what's  the  reason  you  don't  want  to 
shoulder  the  responsibility  yourself  ?  " 

"  Oh,  I  don't  mind  telling  you  that.  I  prefer  not  to 
have  the  Judsons  think  I  originated  the  project:  that's 
all." 

"  Very  well,  bub ;  don't  worry  any  more  about  it;  we'll 
do  it,"  answered  Laura. 

"  But  it  won't  suffice  merely  to  tell  Eva.  You  must 
speak  out  before  the  colonel  and  Mrs.  Judson." 

The  two  girls  took  turns  gaping  and  promising. 

"You  are  both  of  you  about  half  asleep,"  cried  the 
anxious  young  man.  "I  wouldn't  be  surprised  if  you 
both  say  right  out  before  the  colonel  that  the  minute 
they  left  nothing  would  suit  me  but  to  follow  as  soon 
as  possible." 

The  girls  laughed. 

"  We'll  tell  Eva  that  ! "  cried  Laura.  "  She  will  ap 
preciate  it;  but  we  won't  tell  the  colonel  nor  her  ma: 


IN   LOVE   WITH   A   SOUTHERN   GIRL.  179 

for  I  don't  believe  they  are  very  anxious  to  have  you 
for  a  son-in-law  if  you  are  a  senator  ! " 

"Why  not,  I'd  like  to  know?" 

"  Because  you  are  a  g-ood-for-nothing  Republican  ! " 
and  the  g-irls  laughed  and  g-aped  again. 

"  Did  Eva  tell  you  that  ?  " 

"Not  exactly;  but  she  says  she,  on  her  father's  ac 
count,  wishes  ' we'  were  not  Republicans.  You'll  have 
to  turn  Democrat  if  you  want  to  marry  a  Southern  girl." 

"Well,  I'll  see  about  it,"  and  he  left  them. 

"  He  acts  like  a  fish  out  of  water,"  was  the  commen 
tary  of  his  sister  Laura. 

"Yes,"  answered  Ellie,  "and  poor  Evie  is  in  the 
same  misery  over  at  the  other  place.  They're  awfully 
in  love  !  I  wouldn't  wonder  if  she  is  sitting-  on  the 
piazza  watching-  the  road  to  see  if  he  isn't  coming  to 
day  instead  of  to-morrow,  as  he  promised." 

Presently  their  brother  returned. 

"  Say,  girls,  to-morrow  it's  going-  to  be  hot,  I  know; 
so  let's  gx>  over  to  the  Breeze  Lawn  House  this  even 
ing-.  You  can  ask  mother  for  me,  can't  you.?" 

"  Oh,  you  horrid  thing  ! "  cried  the  girls.  "  This  is 
the  hottest  day  of  the  season.  It's  too  hot  to  stir!" 

"  But  this  evening,  after  supper,  it  will  be  cool.  We 
can  go  just  after  sunset;  and  coming-  back  it  will  be 
moonlight." 

"But  ma's  asleep  now,"  objected  Laura,  "and  we 
can't  disturb  her;  when  she  wakes  up  it  will  be  too 
late  to  argue  it  with  her." 

"No  it  won't,"  persisted  the  brother.  "Tell  her 
I'm  afraid  all  the  rooms  will  be  taken." 

"I'll  g-o  and  talk  to  mn,  Laura,"  said  Ellie.  "  Oh,  you 
poor  soul  !  This  is  exactly  what  I  expected,"  she 
cried,  shaking  her  fan  languidly  at  her  brother.  "  I 
wouldn't  be  in  love  this  hot  day  for  fifty  dollars." 


180  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

She  then  went  to  her  mother  and  very  soon  returned 
saying1  that  her  indulgent  parent  had  very  readily  con 
sented — and,  indeed,  what  would  she  not  do  for  Warner? 

So  that  evening-,  immediately  after  supper,  they  set 
forth  for  the  Breeze  Lawn  House. 


CHAPTER  XL 

THE  COLONEL  OBJECTS  TO  A  REPUBLICAN  SON-IN-LAW. 

Miss  EVA  sat  alone,  pensive  and  dreamy,  on  one  cor 
ner  of  the  piazza  at  the  Breeze  Lawn  House,  gazing  on 
the  dying  sunset  and  longing  for  the  morrow.  It  was 
only  a  little  after  seven ;  and  yet  it  seemed  to  her  as 
if  it  had  been  a  week  since  they  left  Van  Tassels'  that 
morning1. 

Mrs.  Judson  and  the  colonel  were  walking-  on  the 
lawn.  On  this,  their  first  evening  at  the  Breeze  Lawn 
House,  they  all  felt  unquestionably  lonely.  The  ex 
periment  of  making  no  acquaintances,  in  the  hope  of 
avoiding  a  repetition  of  their  late  unpleasant  experi 
ences,  was,  to  their  genial  natures,  a  trying  one. 
Their  new  landlord  had  given  them  a  private  table ; 
and  they  had  sat,  during  dinner  and  supper,  without 
addressing  or  being  addressed  by  any  one. 

They  missed  the  Esterbrooks  more  than  they  ex 
pected;  and  the  colonel  felt  the  change  as  much  as 
any  of  them.  He  had  found  great  pleasure  in  talking 
with  the  young  senator,  feeling  a  vague  consciousness 
that  he  was  effecting  a  radical  chang-e  in  the  young 
Republican's  sentiments,  and  eradicating-  from  his 
mind  many  erroneous  impressions  concerning  the 
South.  When,  therefore,  a  two-seated  buckboard 
wound  its  way  up  the  lofty  hill  on  which  stood  the 


A  REPUBLICAN  SON-IN-LAW   OBJECTIONABLE.      181 

very  appropriately  named  Breeze  Lawn  House,  and 
Miss  Eva  came  flying  down  the  piazza  steps  with  a 
wild  light  in  her  eye,  shrieking-,  "  Ma  !  O  ma  !  here 
are  the  Esterbrooks  ! "  they  were  far  from  being  un 
welcome. 

The  colonel  went  to  the  carriage  and  gave  them  all 
his  hand  as  if  they  had  not  met  for  months. 

"  We  were  afraid  you  would  be  lonely  over  here  in 
the  woods,  so  we  came  over  to  pay  you  a  visit/'  said 
young  Esterbrook,  laughing  and  blushing. 

"That  was  very  considerate  of  you,"  replied  the  colo 
nel,  cordially.  "We  have,  indeed,  been  feeling  very 
lonely." 

The  young  ladies  had  already  alighted  and  were 
engaged  in  embracing  Miss  Eva. 

"You  dear  little  angel!  It  seems  like  a  hundred 
thousand  years  since  we  saw  you  ! " 

"We  didn't  expect  to  come  over  till  to-morrow," 
whispered  Laura,  "  but  Warner  got  crazy  to  see  you 
— perfectly  raving  distracted ;  so  we  had  to  come  to 
night,  or  put  him  into  a  strait  jacket." 

Then  came  Warner  with  his  own  version  of  the 
story. 

"  You  see  how  much  my  sisters  think  of  you,  Miss 
Judson !  They  declared  they  should  die  if  they  couldn't 
see  you  before  to-morrow;  and  nothing  would  do  but 
that  I  must  get  a  buckboard  and  bring  them  over 
this  evening." 

"Well,  I'm  so  glad  you've  come  !"  cried  Eva,  ac 
cepting  both  versions  of  the  story  and  perfectly  trans 
figured  with  joy.  "You  don't  know  how  lonesome  I 
was  ! "  Oh,  so  pathetic  it  sounded  !  "  And  pa  and  ma 
missed  you,  too  !  Pa  said,  just  a  minute  ago,  that  he 
missed  his  chats  with  Mr.  Esterbrook." 

"Oh,  did  your  father  say  that !"  cried  the  young 


182  COL.  JlTDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

man,  his  hopes  rising.  "  Well,  if  my  mother  and  sis 
ters  have  their  way,  and  can  get  rooms  here,  we  are 
all  coming  here  to  board." 

"How  delightful  !  "  cried  Eva.  "I  do  hope  you  can 
get  rooms  ! " 

"Laura,  you  and  Ellie  had  better  go  with  mother 
and  see  about  it  right  away,"  said  the  young  man, 
trying  hard  not  to  seem  very  anxious  about  it  though. 

Meantime,  Mrs.  Esterbrook,  good  woman,  was  keep 
ing  her  side  of  the  contract  in  the  following  manner 
(she  being  unburdened  with  any  suspicion  that  her 
honorable  son  was  not  looked  upon  as  an  eligible  alli 
ance  for  any  man's  daughter) : 

"  My  poor  dear  Warner  has  been  almost  distracted 
all  day/'  she  cried  confidentially  to  Mrs.  Judson;  "  and 
finally,  to  pacify  him,  I  had  to  promise  to  come  over 
here  to  board  if  we  could  get  rooms." 

The  young  ladies  and  their  mother,  accompanied  by 
Eva,  went  immediately  to  look  at  rooms,  while  the 
colonel,  Mrs.  Judson,  and  the  senator  remained  in  con 
versation  on  the  piazza. 

For  a  while  it  seemed  as  if  the  Breeze  Lawn  House 
was  full  to  overflowing. 

"  I  don't  see  w'at  I'll  do  with  ye,"  muttered  Mr. 
Coones,  in  perplexity,  "  onless  I  put  ye  in  the  third 
story." 

"  We  don't  want  to  go  on  the  top  floor  if  we  can 
avoid  it,"  replied  Mrs.  Esterbrook;  "and  yet,"  she 
murmured  in  Eva's  ear,  "if  we  can't  get  suited,  what 
will  poor  dear  Warner  say  ! " 

"  I'll  give  you  my  room,"  returned  Eva.  "  I  don't 
mind  going  up  another  flight." 

"Oh,  you  self-sacrificing  child  !"  cried  Mrs.  Ester- 
brook,  "  I  wouldn't  let  you  do  that ! " 

"  We'll  have  some  vacancies  pooty  soon,"  Mr.  Coones 


A    REPUBLICAN   SON-IN-LAW    OBJECTIONABLE.      183 

kept  saying  anxiously,  as  if  vacancies  were  the  great 
est  desiderata  a  summer  boarding-house  could  have. 

Finally,  after  much  cudgeling  of  his  brains  and  many 
visits  to  the  kitchen  for  consultation,  Mr.  Coones,  who 
kept  his  accounts  entirely  in  his  unlucky  head,  hap 
pened  to  remember  that  there  was  a  party  going  away 
Monday  morning.  But  these  people  were  in  their  rooms; 
and  thinking  to  show  their  high  breeding  and  social 
importance  by  being  as  selfish  and  disobliging  as  possi 
ble,  they  peremptorily  and  haughtily  refused  to  allow 
their  apartments  to  be  seen  \>y  any  one. 

Mr.  Coones  skulked  away  from  the  door  after  this 
rebuff,  divested,  for  the  moment,  of  all  the  dignity  of 
a  man  and  a  peer;  but  self-interest  promptly  restored 
his  equanimity. 

"  The  rooms  overhead  is  jes'  the  same,"  he  whispered 
with  a  chuckle,  as  he  thought  how  he  could  get  even 
with  these  people  yet.  "You  kin  see  them;  an'  then 
you  kin  jedge  what  they  air  down  here,  if  that'll  do  ye 
jes'  as  well." 

"Just  as  well,"  replied  Mrs.  Esterbrook;  and  they 
all  ascended  to  the  third  story;  and  after  inspecting 
the  rooms  there  and  the  view  they  commanded,  the 
bargain  was  struck,  to  the  great  joy  of  all  concerned. 

"  Then  we  will  come  Monday,"  said  Mrs.  Esterbrook, 
and  they  all  went  down-stairs  happy. 

"  We've  got  splendid  rooms  ! "  cried  the  young 
ladies  as  soon  as  they  reached  the  piazza. 

"  Ah  !  indeed  ! "  listlessly  responded  their  brother. 
"  I  am  glad  you  are  suited." 

It  was  beginning  to  grow  quite  dark  on  the  piazza. 
The  twilight  had  faded  out;  and  the  moon  had  not 
yet  risen.  The  Esterbrook  girls  proposed  trying  the 
piano,  of  which  their  brother  had  spoken  so  highly; 
and  they  all  went  into  the  parlor. 


184  COL.   JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

After  a  while  it  was  found  that  the  senator  was  miss 
ing.  Further  examination  revealed  that  Eva  was 
missing  also.  But  nothing-  was  said.  The  talk  and 
the  music  went  on  just  the  same. 

The  moon  was  just  rising,  the  evening  not  too  cool 
for  sitting  outdoor,  and  on  the  piazza  at  one  end  were 
the  missing  ones.  The  moon  was  pale  and  feeble;  and, 
still  scarcely  above  the  hills  and  trees  down  toward 
the  horizon,  the  light  it  shed  over  the  scene  was  not 
too  glaring  and  unpoetic.  It  was  a  peaceful,  lovely 
scene — the  distant  mountains  faintly  outlined  in  light 
and  shadow,  the  white  road  winding  up  the  hill  be 
yond,  the  well-kept  lawn  with  every  twig  and  bush 
and  shrub  of  evergreen  distinctly  visible. 

The  conversation  between  the  pair  was  not  intellec 
tual,  animated,  or  well  sustained.  They  were  perfectly 
satisfied  with  very  small  talk  and  very  little  of  it,  and 
with  gazing  on  the  scene  and  listening  to  the  chirping 
of  insects  and  the  distant  cry  of  a  whip-poor-will. 

Their  sweet  soul-communings  were  interrupted  by 
the  grating  of  wagon  wheels  on  the  graveled  carriage 
way  leading  from  the  stable  to  the  house,  and  Ester- 
brook  recognized  his  buckboard  which  he  had  ordered 
brought  around  at  half-past  ten.  Then  he  heard  his 
mother's  voice  at  the  open  casement. 

"  Where  is  Warner  ?    The  carriage  is  here." 

"  Oh,  goodness  !  are  you  out  here  ?  "  cried  the  sisters, 
coming  out  upon  the  piazza. 

The  senator  went  inside;  Eva  remained  on  the 
piazza  with  the  sisters.  Mrs.  Esterbrook  was  saying 
her  last  words  to  Mrs.  Judson,  and  together  they  went 
outside.  The  other  boarders  who  were  not  on  the 
piazza  had  gone  to  their  rooms,  and  young  Esterbrook 
found  himself  alone  with  the  colonel. 

Then  happened   something  unexpected  and  unpre- 


A   REPUBLICAN-   SON-IN-LAW   OBJECTIONABLE.      185 

meditated.  One  moment  before,  the  young-  man  had 
no  thought  of  doing1  what  he  did. 

"  Colonel,"  he  began  impulsively. 

"  Warner,  we  are  all  ready,  and  it's  late,"  called  his 
mother  from  the  piazza. 

"  One  moment,  mother,  if  you  please.  Colonel,  will 
you  allow  me  a  word  with  you  ?  " 

The  colonel  bowed  gravely. 

"  Colonel/'  began  the  young  man  again  in  the  same 
feverish  tones,  "  I  feel  that  no  man  of  self-respect  and 
honor,  or  of  any  delicacy  of  feeling " 

Here,  poor  fellow,  he  broke  down  utterly.  His  fine 
sentence  came  to  an  ignominious  end;  his  hands  trem 
bled  and  his  lips  twitched. 

It  is  hard,  indeed,  that  the  most  impassioned  utter 
ances,  the  most  glowing  eloquence,  the  most  sonorous 
phrases — seemingly  the  only  true  and  proper  expres 
sion  of  the  heart's  emotions — are  more  often  the  pro 
duct  of  cold  calculation,  composure,  and  rhetorical 
skill. 

"  Colonel,"  he  began  once  more,  "  since  I  have  met 
your  daughter " 

Here  he  found  himself  about  to  give  the  colonel  a 
description  of  the  feeling  of  a  man  in  love. 

"  What  drivel  that  would  be  ! "  he  thought  to  him 
self.  But  he  was  determined  to  bolt  through  with  the 
sentence.  "Since  I  have  met  your  daughter,  I  have 
learned  to  love  her  ! "  he  cried  in  impassioned  accents, 
"  and  I  ask  your  consent  to  win  her  heart." 

The  colonel  was  visibly  moved. 

"My  dear  friend,"  he  began  earnestly,  "this  is  co 
me  a  trying  position.  Eva  is  our  only  child.  I  am  a 
Southron,  and  Alabama  is  and  will  ever  remain  my 
home.  To  leave  our  only  child  here  in  the  Forth  will 
be  a  terrible  sacrifice  for  her  mother  and  myself,  and 


186  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

doubly  trying,  feeling1  as  we  do  now  how  little  sym 
pathy  is  to  be  expected  from  the  present  generation  of 
,  Northern  people  for  us  of  the  South.  I  will  say  to 
you  frankly  that  I  had  hoped,  in  leaving  Mr.  Van 
Tassel's,  that  my  daughter's  mind  would  resume  its 
normal  course.  Her  mother  also  believed  that  such 
would  be  the  case.  She  is  young,  very  young.  But  if 
I  am.  wrong  in  cherishing  such  a  hope,  I  shall  do  noth 
ing  to  ruin  her  happiness.  I  can  give  you  no  more  defi 
nite  answer  to-night.  I  have  no  right  to  do  so  till  I 
consult  with  her  mother.  It  is  possible  we  may  leave 
early  Monday  morning  for  the  Berkshire  Hills.  Should 
we  do  so,  while  I  shall  ever  remember  you  as  a  cour 
teous  and  agreeable  companion  and  friend,  I  shall  ex 
pect  you  to  regard  our  departure  as  indicating  that 
I  desire,  for  the  present  at  least,  that  all  communica 
tion  between  my  daughter  and  yourself  shall  cease." 

Esterbrook  was  completely  dazed.  The  whole  earth 
seemed  to  have  become  extinct.  For  a  moment  not  a 
word,  not  an  argument,  had  he  to  offer  in  reply,  but 
presently  the  one  all-absorbing,  all-controlling  idea  of 
his  mind  was  crystallized  in  one  passionate,  vehement 
utterance : 

"Sir,  I  love  your  daughter  and  I  believe  her  heart 
is  already  mine  !  She  would  rightly  think  me  a  vil 
lain  if  I  remain  silent  now.  No  man  of  honor  could 
retreat  after  having  gone  so  far  ! " 

"  A  man  of  honor,"  replied  the  colonel  with  firmness, 
"  will  submit  to  a  father's  will.  It  is  against  my  wishes 
that  you  should  hold  any  further  communication  with 
my  daughter  at  present.  You  \vill  know  my  final  de 
cision  Monday." 

"  Sir,  I  shall  wait/'  replied  Esterbrook.  "  If  I  am 
wrong  in  believing  I  possess  your  daughter's  affection, 
then  let  the  blow  fall  on  me  alone." 


A   REPUBLICAN    SON-IN-LAW   OBJECTIONABLE.      187 

They  passed  out  together  and  joined  the  others  on 
the  piazza.  The  young1  man,  assisted  by  the  colonel, 
placed  his  mother  and  sisters  in  the  carriage  and  then 
took  his  leave  of  Mrs.  Judson,  who,  having  surmised 
the  tenor  of  the  conversation  in  the  parlor,  was  con 
strained  and  reserved.  When  he  turned  to  make  his 
adieu  to  Eva,  her  father  was  standing  by  her  side 
holding  both  of  her  hands  in  his.  Esterbrook,  with 
hat  in  hand,  only  bowed  and  said  good-night,  in  husky 
tones.  But  the  young  lady  cried  out  pettishly : 

"  Pa,  pa,  let  go  !  How  can  I  bid  Mr.  Esterbrook 
good-by ! " 

Her  father  released  a  hand,  but  Esterbrook  only 
touched  it  lightly,  said  good-by  again,  and  added,  in  a 
voice  that  plainly  revealed  his  agitation  in  spite  of 
every  effort  at  self-command,  "I  hope  to  see  you 
Monday." 

As  soon  as  the  carriage  had  wound  its  way  down 
the  hill  to  the  road,  the  colonel  and  Mrs.  Judson  went 
inside;  but  Eva  remained  on  the  piazza  gazing  ab 
stractedly  on  the  beautiful  moonlit  scene,  lost  in  sweet 
revery.  Her  mother's  voice  aroused  her. 

"My  dear,  come  in.  It  is  eleven  o'clock.  We,re 
going  up-stairs." 

"  Is  it  so  late,  ma  ?  It  is  so  lovely,  I  hate  to  go  to 
bed;"  but  joining  her  father  and  mother  in  the  parlor, 
and  too  happy  within  herself  to  observe  their  grave 
and  sorrowful  looks,  she  exclaimed  rapturously :  "  Ma, 
I  think  this  place  is  perfectly  heavenly  1  I  feel  per 
fectly  transported  with  joy  to-night  because  it's  such 
a  lovely  night  !  And  you  don't  know  how  glad  I  am 
the  Esterbrooks  are  coming  here,  too  !  Ma,  you  must 
be  sleepy;  and  you  too,  pa  !  You  look  as  solemn  as 
two  owls.  But  as  for  me,  I  feel  as  lively  as  a  cricket; 
I  feel  like  sitting  up  all  night  to  look  at  the  moon  ! " 


188  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 

They  went  up-stairs  tog-ether.  Eva  blithely  bade 
her  father  and  mother  good-night,  went  to  her  own 
room,  and  seating  herself  at  the  open  window,  gazed 
out  upon  the  scene,  musing  and  dreaming  till  long  after 
midnight. 

The  next  morning  she  went  down-stairs  to  break 
fast  looking  as  bright  and  fresh  as  if  she  had  enjoyed 
a  full  night's  rest. 

"  O  ma  ! "  she  exclaimed  ecstatically,  "  what  a 
divine  world  this  is  !  I  just  love  this  place  !  It  is  so 
beautiful !  How  lovely  the  air  feels  this  morning  ! 

0  pa,  I'm  so  glad  you  thought  of  coming  here  !    I  am 
perfectly  enchanted  with  it ! " 

"My  dear,"  replied  her  father,  gravely,  "you  must 
not  think  too  much  of  this  place.  What  will  you  do 
when  you  are  obliged  to  leave  it  ?  " 

"  Well,  pa,  I  don't  want  to  stay  here  after  everybody 
else  has  gone  away.  It  won't  be  pleasant  then." 

"  But  what  if  something  should  occur  to  prevent  our 
remaining  here  the  rest  of  the  summer  ?  You  must 
not  become  so  much  attached  either  to  places  or  peo 
ple  here  at  the  North  that  you  cannot  part  with  them 
without  great  pain  and  sorrow." 

"  How  can  I  help  that,  pa  ? " 

"You  must  be  philosophical.  You  must  bear  con 
stantly  in  mind  that  your  home  is  in  the  South,  and 
that  the  people  you  meet  here  are  only  passing  ac 
quaintances  whom  you  may  never  see  again." 

"  O  pa,  pa,  you  give  me  the  blues  !  I  can't  be  so 
philosophical  as  that  !  Now,  for  instance,  the  Ester- 
brooks  !  Why,  pa,  I  would  just  want  to  die  if  I  thought 

1  was  never  to  see  them  again  !     But  why  should  I  feel 
that  way  ?    They  have  all  promised    and   promised 
that  they  will  come  to  Alabama  and  visit  us  this  very 
winter," 


A   REPUBLICAN   SON-IN-LAW   OBJECTIONABLE.      189 

"  Well,  dear,  they  will  have  a  good  chance  to  see  the 
South  as  it  is.  I  am  always  glad  when  Northern  peo 
ple  come  down  among  us." 

"  Well,  now,  pa,  do,  do  say  they  are  not  mere  passing 
acquaintances.  I  feel  as  if  every  fibre  of  my  heart 
were  bound  up  with  theirs  !  I  am  sure  I  shall  never 
part  with  them  for  good  !  We  shall  always  know 
each  other  and  be  intimate  friends.  Don't  you  think 
so,  pa  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  so,  dear.    Time  will  reveal/' 

This  conversation  rendered  it  all  the  more  difficult 
and  painful  for  the  colonel  to  say  to  his  daughter  what 
he  had  on  his  mind  to  say.  He  deferred  it  until  the 
afternoon,  when  he  found  her  on  the  lawn,  reading 
under  the  shade  of  a  broad-spreading  old  maple  tree. 

"  Eva,"  he  began  very  seriously,  "  I  have  come  to 
tell  you  something  that  you  will  be  very  sorry  to  hear, 
but  I  expect  you  to  bear  it  like  a  sensible  girl." 

"  Oh,  dear  me,  pa,  what  in  the  world  is  it  ! "  cried 
Eva,  apprehensively,  thinking  that  perhaps  he  had 
heard  that  the  Esterbrooks  were  not  coming  after  all. 
"  It  is  something  dreadful — I  know  by  your  looks." 

"  Oh,  no,  my  dear,  it  is  not  at  all  dreadful,"  replied 
her  father,  with  an  attempt  at  cheerfulness.  "  If  you 
were  not  so  much  attached  to  this  place  that  you  will  be 
sorry  to  leave  it,  my  news  would  be  agreeable  rather 
than  otherwise,  for  I  know  you  are  fond  of  travel." 

"  O  pa,  what  is  it  ?  "  gasped  Eva.  "  We  are  not  going 
away  from  here,  I  hope,  pa  ?  " 

"  Yes,  dear,  matters  of  importance  take  me  to  Mas 
sachusetts  at  once.  I  know  you  like  this  beautiful 
place,  but  there  are  others  even  more  attractive.  We 
shall  go  from  here  to  the  Berkshire  Hills,  which  are  as 
celebrated  for  fine  scenery  as  the  Catskills.  The  air 
there  is  renowned  for  its  salubrity," 


190  COL.   JUDSOX   OF   ALABAMA. 

"  But  when,  pa  ?  When  are  we  going  ?  "  asked  Eva, 
in  a  faint  voice. 

"  Monday  morning,  dear." 

"  Monday,  pa  ?    Next  Monday  ?  " 

"Yes,  dear,  next  Monday — day  after  to-morrow/' 

"  O  pa  !  that  is  so  soon  ! " 

"  I  know  it  is,  Eva.  I  am  sorry  you  are  disappointed 
about  remaining  here,  but  I  feel  satisfied  that  as  soon 
as  you  find  yourself  in  a  place  equally  beautiful,  among 
pleasant  companions,  as  pleasant  as  any  you  have  met 
in  the  Catskills,  you  will  be  reconciled  to  the  change. 
Don't  you  think  so  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know,  pa." 

"Well,  now,  won't  you  try,  Eva?  Try  for  your 
mother's  sake.  It  will  grieve  her  to  see  you  looking 
disappointed  and  down-hearted.  The  change  is  abso 
lutely  necessary.  Now  you  are  going  to  be  reconciled, 
aren't  you?" 

"  I  suppose  so,  pa.    I  will  try." 

She  was  gazing  off  into  vacancy  with  clouded  face 
and  eyes  full  of  tears,  and  her  voice,  though  steady, 
was  plaintive  and  almost  inaudible.  Her  father  con 
tinued  a  few  minutes  longer  striving  to  reconcile  her 
to  the  change,  and  left  her  saying,  as  he  pressed  her 
hands  sympathetically : 

"  It  grieves  me  to  see  you  looking  so  sad',  Eva.  But 
I  feel  sure  the  time  will  come  when  you  will  look  back 
upon  this  and  see  that  your  father  and  mother  knew 
best  what  was  good  for  you.  I  am  going  now  to  order 
a  carriage  for  a  drive,  and  I  hope  that  that  will  bring 
the  smiles  back  to  your  face." 

Eva  watched  her  father  till  he  disappeared  behind 
the  shrubbery  around  the  carriage-house,  and  then, 
springing  to  her  feet,  she  flew  to  her  mother. 

"  Ma !  ma  ! "   she  cried  wildly,  "  I  cannot  go  away 


A  REPUBLICAN  SON-IN-LAW  OBJECTIONABLE.      191 

from  here — I  cannot,  ma  !  You  must  leave  me  here, 
ma !  You  must,  you  must !  If  you  take  me  away  I 
shall  die  !  I  shall  die  ! " 

"Eva!  Eva  \"  cried  her  mother,  in  great  agitation 
and  alarm, "  calm  yourself,  my  child.  You  terrify  me  ! 
How  can  you  get  so  excited  about  such  a  matter  ?  " 

"  Ma  !  ma  !  say  you  will  leave  me  here  ! " 

"  My  darling-  child,  it  is  out  of  the  question  !  You 
are  far  too  young.  I  did  entirely  wrong  in  sending 
you  to  Mr.  Van  Tassel's  so  long  before  I  came." 

"  Why,  ma,"  pleaded  Eva,  "  what  harm  did  it  do  ? 
What  harm  will  it  do  for  me  to  stay  here  a  few  weeks? 
The  Esterbrooks  will  take  care  of  me." 

"  My  child,  it  is  impossible,"  returned  Mrs.  Judson, 
resolutely. 

"  Ma !  ma !  my  heart  will  break ! "  cried  Eva,  burst 
ing  into  tears  and  throwing  herself  on  her  mother's 
neck.  "  I  thought  I  was  going  to  be  so  happy,  and  now 
it  is  all  snatched  away  !  I  shall  die  !  I  shall  die  !  O 
ma  !  ma  !  let  me  stay  ! " 

"Eva  !  Eva  ! "  cried  the  mother,  vainly  endeavoring 
to  calm  her  daughter's  excitement,  but  she  still  sobbed 
and  begged  piteously  to  be  allowed  to  remain;  and 
when  her  father  came  to  report  how  much  better  she 
had  borne  the  news  than  her  mother  had  apprehended, 
and  how  satisfied  he  was  that  a  change  of  scene  and 
of  companions  would  overcome  her  disappointment,  he 
found  her  in  violent  hysterics  in  her  mother's  arms 
and  beyond  the  reach  of  argument,  entreaty,  or  even 
of  acquiescence  in  her  desires. 


192  COL.   JUDSON   OF  ALABAMA. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

MISS  EVA  MARRIES  A  MUGWUMP. 

WHEN  Esterbrook  came  Monday  morning-  to  see 
whether  it  was  in  order  for  him  to  blow  his  brains  out, 
he  found  the  Judsons  still  at  the  Breeze  Lawn  House, 
and,  to  all  appearances,  they  had  no  present  inten 
tion  of  going  away.  At  least  Jimmy  Coones,  who 
took  his  horse,  had  heard  nothing  about  it  and  was 
surprised  at  the  question. 

Esterbrook,  by  no  means  satisfied  as  to  the  signifi 
cance  of  this,  hurried  to  the  house,  looked  into  the  par 
lor  which  was  silent  and  deserted,  walked  all  around 
the  piazza  and  looked  over  the  lawn,  where  there  were 
other  guests  in  large  numbers  playing  lawn  tennis  and 
croquet  or  swinging  in  hammocks;  but  there  was  no 
sign  of  the  Judsons  anywhere  about. 

He  then  started  in  search  of  some  one  to  take  his 
card  to  the  colonel,  and,  after  going  all  over  the  house, 
brought  up,  at  last,  at  the  door  of  the  kitchen  where 
he  could  hear  the  rattling  and  scraping  of  pots  and 
pans,  the  banging  of  dishes,  the  suggestive  thud  of  a 
chopping-knife,  and  a  perfect  Babel  of  female  voices 
and  laughter. 

He  knocked  and  pounded  on  the  door  as  loud  as 
seemed  befitting  a  gentleman;  but  being  unable  to 
make  himself  heard,  he  ventured  to  raise  the  latch 
and  look  in,  thus  bringing  down  upon  himself  the 
shame  and  humiliation  of  beholding  the  champion 
dirty  kitchen  of  the  State;  and  instantly  he  resolved 
to  see  what  he  could  do  at  Albany  the  coming  winter 


MISS  EVA   MAREIES  A   MUGWUMP.  193 

for  the  inspection  of  summer  boarding-house  kitchens 
and  the  abolition  therein  of  flies  defunct  and  animate, 
of  garbage,  mephitic  air,  dirty  girls,  and  frowsy  head. 

It  was  a  vast  room  incredibly  littered  with  a  dis 
gusting,  loathsome  conglomeration  of  refuse  and  un 
cooked  food;  and,  although  there  were  windows  on 
two  sides  and  three  doors  opening  to  the  outer  air,  the 
windows  were  all  closed  and  but  one  door  stood  open. 
Two  girls  were  wiping  dishes  at  a  sink  opposite  and 
dancing  a  break-down;  another  was  up  to  her  elbows 
in  dishwater;  a  woman  was  kneading  bread  at  a  table 
covered  with  dirty  dishes  and  millions  of  flies;  others 
were  shelling  peas,  peeling  potatoes,  picking  over  ber 
ries,  and  so  forth;  and  a  girl,  with  bushy,  fiery-red 
hair  flying  in  every  direction,  was  alternately  chopping 
meat  in  a  large  wooden  bowl  and  skirmishing  with  her 
hair  to  keep  it  out  of  her  eyes:  and  all  were  more  or 
less  talking,  laughing,  hallooing,  and  singing. 

The  first  who  espied  a  gentleman  at  the  door  cried 
out  in  awe-struck  tones: 

"Girls!  hush  up!"  And  Esterbrook,  fortunately 
succeeding  in  maintaining  his  dignity  despite  his  mor 
tification  and  shame,  communicated  his  wishes  and 
consigned  his  card  to  the  care  of  the  girl  with  the 
bushy  red  hair.  He  then  returned  to  the  parlor. 

The  colonel  came  down  immediately. 

He  looked  very  grave,  and  his  tones  at  once  be 
trayed  his  agitation. 

"  O  my  dear  young  friend  ! "  he  exclaimed,  grasp 
ing  the  astonished  Esterbrook  by  the  hand,  "  you  do 
not  know  how  near  I  have  come  to  losing  my  beloved 
child  !  Only  the  presence  of  a  skilful  New  York  phy 
sician  here  in  the  house  has  saved  her  life  !  She  was 
threatened  with  congestion  of  the  brain  at  the  bare 
mention  of  leaving  this  place.  I  see  no  help  for  it  now 


194  COL.   JUDSON   OF   ALABAMA. 

but  that  you  are  destined  to  become  my  son-in-law. 
Thank  God  !  I  believe  you  are  a  noble  young  man  ! 
But  it  is  a  terrible  thing  to  take  an  only  child  from  her 
parents.  It  is  a  terrible  blow  to  her  mother  and  to 
me.  We  were  never  before  brought  to  realize  that 
we  must  ever  part  with  her,  least  of  all  that  we  should 
ever  be  called  upon  to  leave  her  in  the  North.  But  I 
am  satisfied  that  you  are  in  every  respect  worthy  of 
the  feeling  that  you  have  inspired  in  my  child ;  and 
her  mother  joins  with  me  in  yielding  to  your  wishes." 

"Sir,  sir,"  cried  Esterbrook,  earnestly,  "anything 
that  I  can  do  to  reward  you  for  this  and  be  a  man,  I 
will  do  ! " 

It  was  several  days  before  Eva  was  able  to  leave 
her  room ;  but  she  knew  the  Esterbrooks  had  arrived 
and  that  the  Berkshire  Hills  were  given  up ;  and  when 
Mrs.  Esterbrook  and  the  two  girls  came  to  sit  with 
her,  she  was  perfectly  contented,  for  she  knew  the 
senator  was  down-stairs.  Every  time  they  came  up 
thejT  brought  her  numerous  messages  from  him ;  and 
every  morning  he  sent  her  a  bunch  of  flowers  which 
he  had  gathered  with  his  own  hands,  and  which  she 
smiled  on  in  a  beatitude  of  joy. 

But  when,  at  last,  she  was  able  to  sit  on  the  piazza 
and  see  him  with  her  own  eyes,  the  color  rapidly  came 
back  to  her  cheek,  and  she  was  soon  herself. 

From  this  time  onward  their  happiness  was  as  un 
disturbed  as  if  the  foolishness  of  Mother  Eve  had 
not  brought  toil  and  sorrow  and  death  into  the 
world. 

Not  a  doubt  of  each  other,  not  a  jealous  pang,  not  a 
single  misunderstanding,  not  a  tear,  not  a  frown,  not 
a  conflict  of  wishes  or  of  tastes,  not  a  diversity  of  tem 
perament  or  of  opinion,  marred  their  perfect  paradise ; 
and,  to  crown  all,  the  colonel  and  his  wife  were  not 


MISS   EVA   MARRIES  A   MUGWUMP  195 

only  resigned,  but  their  hearts  were  full  of  joy  and  of 
gratitude  to  heaven  as  they  daily  beheld  the  happi 
ness  of  their  child  and  learned  to  know  the  worth  of 
their  destined  son-in-law. 

"  I  am  perfectly  satisfied  now/'  said  the  colonel  to  his 
wife,  when,  at  the  end  of  a  month,  the  young  couple 
became  formally  engaged. 

"  I  do  not  believe  a  nobler  young  man  exists  South 
or  North.  That  he  has  a  good  head,  a  good  under 
standing,  and  a  conscientious  desire  to  be  on  the  right 
side  is  evident  from  the  change  his  opinions  have 
undergone.  He  was  a  Republican  because  his  father 
was.  He  had  -accepted  the  party  without  question 
and  without  thought,  on  the  strength  of  its  own  pre 
tensions  and  representations.  I  am  persuaded  that 
this  change  he  has  undergone  comes  from  his  inner 
most  heart;  but  I  fear  it  will  be  regarded  here  as  an 
infamous  act  of  apostasy.  I  regret  that;  but  I  re 
joice  that  he  sees  the  iniquities  of  the  Republican  party 
in  their  right  light.  As  to  his  personal  character,  he 
has  his  faults,  of  course;  but  they  are  mainly  the 
faults  of  youth  or  amiable  weaknesses  that  are  easily 
forgiven.  Perhaps  he  is  a  little  self-conceited  as  yet; 
but  he  is  young,  and  his  early  successes  and  the  adu 
lation  of  his  friends  have  naturally  inflated  his  self- 
importance.  He  will  outlive  all  that  and  look  back 
and  laugh  at  it  all.  He  is  high-minded  and  conscien 
tious — that  is  the  main  point — and  he  is  zealous  and 
warm-hearted." 

"  Yes,"  added  Mrs.  Judson,  "  and  he  is  affectionate, 
amiable,  unselfish,  and  brimming  over  with  the  milk 
of  human  kindness." 

"  He  is,  indeed,"  added  the  colonel,  warmly ;  "  and  he 
is  frank,  generous,  pure-minded,  and  the  soul  of  honor. 
All  his  impulses  are  noble  and  manly." 


196  COL.  JUDSON  OF  ALABAMA. 

"  Another  thing,"  added  Mrs.  Judson, "  there  is  noth 
ing  of  the  irreverent  and  wicked  in  any  of  his  wit,  as 
there  is  in  so  many  young  people.  I  respect  him  for 
that." 

"  An  admirable  young  man  in  every  respect/5  pur 
sued  the  colonel. 

"  He  is,  indeed,"  affirmed  Mrs.  Judson. 

Such  was  the  estimate  put  upon  the  Hon.  Warner 
N.  Esterbrook  by  the  colonel  and  his  wife  on  the  day 
when  he  became  engaged  to  their  daughter.  If  too 
flattering  to  that  entirely  human  young  man,  perhaps 
it  was  not  more  so  than  people  are  wont  to  place  upon 
the  character  of  an  amiable,  estimable  youth,  with 
good  prospects  in  life,  under  like  circumstances.  At 
all  events,  little  Miss  Eva  had  safely  escaped  being 
"crossed  in  love"  and  the  danger  of  becoming  a 
crabbed,  sarcastic  misanthrope,  a  melancholy  little  old 
maid,  a  lunatic  in  a  strait  jacket,  or  an  angel  up  in 
Heaven :  for  although  love  can  be  gotten  over  easily 
enough  the  second  or  third  time,  and  any  number  of 
times  thereafter,  the  result  of  the  first  attack  is  often 
perilous  and  problematical. 

Early  in  September  the  colonel  received  overtures 
for  a  compromise  from  his  antagonists  in  the  lawsuit 
which  originally  brought  him  North.  It  was  but  a 
modicum  of  his  claim,  and  the  lawyers  wanted  him  to 
hold  out  against  it  for  a  while ;  but  it  was  a  round  mil 
lion  and  freedom  from  litigation;  and  the  Southerner 
spurned  the  idea  of  haggling  for  more,  when  a  million 
was  enough.  He  therefore  hastened  to  accept  the 
offer,  and  Eva  was  nobly  endowed. 

The  marriage  took  place  in  October.  It  was  a  beau 
tiful  and  interesting  wedding,  with  a  lovely  bride,  two 
lovely  bridesmaids,  a  handsome  groom,  and  two  proud 
mothers  and  a  well-satisfied  father  looking  on;  and 


MISS  EVA  MARRIES  A  MUGWUMP.  197 

thus  ended  the  war  between  the  North  and  the  South 
so  far  as  Colonel  Judson  of  Alabama  was  concerned. 
In  a  few  days,  accompanied  by  a  son-in-law  (for  a  visit 
of  a  month  or  two),  he  returned  to  his  home  with  many 
pleasant  memories  of  his  experience  at  the  North  to 
sweeten  the  bitter,  and  with  his  knowledge  consider 
ably  enlarged  by  his  visit,  though  of  the  opinion  that 
it  was  even  more  important  that  the  Northern  people 
should  come  South. 


THE  END. 


SECOND  EDITION. 


A   NEW  AND   POWERFUL  NOVEL. 


By    K.    BKAN, 

Author  of  Colonel  Judson  of  Alabama. 


AMERICAN    AUTHORS'  SERIES. 


At  all  Bookstores,  or  sent  postpaid  on  receipt  of  price  :  50  cents 
in  paper,  $  1.00  in  cloth. 

JOHN  W.  LOYELL  COMPANY,  Publishers, 

1  5O  Worth  Street,  New  York. 


PRESS  OPINIONS. 


A  very  strong  novel.— Boston  Transcript. 

It  is  strikingly  original,  bold  in  treatment,  and  interesting  in  its  descriptions 
of  Maine  scenery  and  familiar  localities. — Albany  Evening  Journal. 

There  is  good  stuff  in  this  novel,  and  the  character  of  Pudney  is  a  striking 
and  original  one.— Charleston  News. 

The  book  deserves  attentive  reading  from  those  interested  in  social  questions. 
— New  York  Recorder. 

This  is  certainly  an  interesting  book. — New  Orleans  Picayune. 

All  of  the  characters  are  strongly  drawn,  and  we  have  new  and  admirable 
types  in  Pudney  and  his  hard-working  wife. — Albany  Argus. 

The  book  is  remarkably  original.— San  Francisco  Call. 

In  great  part  a  well-told  story.  There  is  graphic  description  in  the  book,  and 
some  of  the  characters  are  admirably  drawn.  .  .  .  Many  of  Mr.  Bean's  pict 
ures  have  the  true  Yankee  tone,  and  they  are  naturally  and  admirably  drawn. — 
New  York  Sun. 

It  is  an  intensely  interesting  satire  on  shoddy  aristocracy.  ...  In  the  flood 
of  literature  there  are  not  many  stories  that  will  outrank  "  Pudney  &  Walp" 
either  in  interest  or  style. — Deliver  Rocky  Mountain  News. 


Pudney  &  Walp    is  perhaps  the  least  attractive  title  any  recent  novel  has 
borne,  but  the  story  is  strong  enough  to  survive  this  misfortune  There 

are  graphic  pictures  of  Pudney's  struggles  with  his  men  when  trouble  comes 
.  ._ .  There  is  a  cruel  tragedy  when  the  eldest  daughter  commits  a  frightful 
crime  and  there  is  a  wonderfully  vivid  picture  in  strong  colors  when  the  seenb 

SirtTllS?^nted Oneofthecleverestbitsof  character-drawing  is  Betsy 

Dodd  whose  life  was  spent  m  knitting  "sale  stockings "  coarse  enough  to  shoot 
peas  through;  and  Lib  Pudney 's  faithful  wife,  is  a  creation  full  of  homely 
nohihty.  Many  other  characters  stand  out  with  a  distinctness  that  is  startling 
and  the  reader  can  readily  believe  that  almost  every  one  of  them  has  been  closely 
drawn  from  living  men  and  women.— Book  Beview,  New  York. 

This  scene  [of  the  trial]  is  the  best  in  the  book,  but  there  are  others  of  great 
interest,  and,  as  a  comprehensive  study  of  labor,  society  and  life  generally  in 
Maine,  the  story  of  "Pudney  &  Walp"  is,  we  believe,  the  best  that  has  yet  been 
written. — San  Jose  Mercury. 

A  great  strike,  vividly  told,  forms  the  central  event  of  the  well- written  story 
—Pittsburg  Telegraph. 

There  are  several  more  than  clever  characters  introduced  into  the  story  as 
well  as  a  number  of  dramatic  scenes.— Baltimore  American. 

The  book  is  full  of  interest,  and  Pudney  proves  the  truth  of  the  oft-repeated 
assertion  that  the  hardest  master  to  the  laboring  man  is  he  who  has  been  a 
laborer  himself.  The  sturdy  independence  of  the  New  England  men  and  women 
is  well  brought  out.— Denver  Times. 

An  entertaining  story  of  American  life.  The  plot  is  full  of  interesting  inci 
dents.—  Washing  ton  Public  Opinion. 

All  the  characters,  and  there  are  many  of  them,  are  drawn  by  a  skilful  hand, 
and  the  book  is  written  in  a  light  and  breezy  fashion  that  is  quite  likely  to  com 
mend  it  to  the  public.— New  Orleans  States. 

A  well-told  story. — Milwaukee  Sentinel. 

The  book  is  worthy  of  attentive  reading. — Detroit  Tribune. 

Aside  from  the  labor  problem,  there  is  much  to  entertain  the  reader.  The 
descriptions  of  Maine  scenery  and  familiar  localities  in  the  East  are  almost  equal 
to  a  visit  to  that  picturesque  region. — Kansas  City  Journal. 

The  characters  are  well  drawn,  and  many  of  the  incidents  are  decidedly  realis 
tic.— Son,  Francisco  Chronicle. 

Maine  scenery  is  accurately  presented,  and  the  characters  are  true  to  life.— 
Portland  Oregonian. 

The  complex  relations  between  capital  and  labor  are  admirably  drawn  ;  but 
the  book  is  burdened  with  an  undue  amount  of  profanity  from  Pudney.  Doubt 
less  his  remarks  are  true  to  nature,  but  the  average  reader  objects  to  swearing 
except  from  clergymen  in  the  form  of  Bible  quotations.— Tacoma  Globe. 

An  American  tale  of  dramatic  power. — Philadelphia  Bulletin. 

"  Pudney  &  Walp  "  promises  to  be  one  of  the  sensations  of  the  season.— 
Godey^s  Lady's  Book. 

There  is  a  strength  and  virility  about  this  author's  work  that  is  more  than 
apparent  before  a  dozen  pages  hare  been  read.—  Brooklyn  Citizen. 

The  story  is  well  conceived.  .  .  .  The  story  of  Pudney's  change  of  heart 
and  character  under  the  influence  of  great  wealth  and  position  is  well  drawn. — 
N.  Y.  Epoch. 

The  characters  are  all  well  drawn,  and  in  several  instances  develop  considera 
ble  quaint  humor  and  originality.— N.  Y.  Tablet. 

The  characters  of  Pudney  and  his  wife  are  drawn  with  no  mean  skill.— Boston 
Post. 

It  tells,  with  a  mastery  of  realistic  effect,  the  story  of  the  begmning  and  rise 
of  the  great  granite  business  of  "  Pudney  &  Walp  "  on  an  island  in  Penobscot 
Bay.— Portland  Transcript. 


There  is  some  admirable  character-sketching,  the  strongest  figures  being 
Pudney  and  Mrs.  Walp.— Boston  Advertiser. 

It  is  a  portrayal  to  the  life,  and  furnishes  food  for  reflection  as  well  as  rarely 
good  entertainment. — Photo.  Am.  Review,  New  York. 

It  is  well  worth  reading.  ...  It  is  eminently  calculated  to  arouse  thought 
while  it  interests  and  at  times  amuses.  The  author  is  a  master  of  neat  wit  and 
elegant  satire.  .  .  .  The  whole  story  is  thoroughly  well  told.— Journal  of  the 
Knights  of  Labor. 

A  more  original  or  a  more  puzzling  book  has  not  been  issued  this  year.  .  .  . 
It  takes  a  strong  hand  to  direct  such  diverse  and  trying  material.  The  very 
name  of  the  novel  is  not  inviting.  .  .  .  But  as  we  go  on  the  characters 
develop  with  a  subtlety  that  takes  us  unawares,  the  canvas  broadens  and  the 
scene  fives.  .  .  .  The  gorge  rises  sometimes  at  the  central  figure,  Pudney. 
We  wonder  the  more  at  the  consummate  mastery  over  his  creation  by  which  the 
author  forces  us  to  respect  the  nobility  which  lies  within  so  rough  a  nature  as 
the  perfect  statue  is  hidden  in  the  unshapely  and  unsightly  stone.  It  is  a  pecu 
liarly  striking  figure,  and,  above  all,  original  and  native  to  the  soil.  Silas  Lap- 
ham  and  Daniel  Pudney,  if  they  ever  meet,  will  understand  each  other  at  once. — 
Baltimore  Sun. 

We  have  read  just  far  enough  to  wonder  if  the  author  is  "  twitting  on  facts  " 
or  building  up  a  romance  out  of  his  imagination.  An  island  of  Maine  granite  is, 
however,  a  stern  reality,  and  it  must  be  conceded  the  story  has  a  good  founda 
tion.  The  book  is  strongly  written  and  full  of  interest,  and  should  find  many 
readers  hereabouts. — Belfast  (Me.)  Republican  Journal. 

A  narrative  that  lays  hold  of  the  imagination  at  once.  The  two  families  that 
take  up  their  habitation  in  the  tumble-down,  temporary  quarters  provided  for 
them  among  the  rocks  are  so  different  from  each  other  in  nature  that  one  again 
instinctively  commends  the  sagacity  that  suggested  the  types.  The  picturesque 
wildness  of  the  island,  inhabited  only  by  fishermen,  is  enough  to  attract  the 
reader  at  the  outset. — Cleveland  Leader. 

The  story  is  amazing  in  its  originality,  the  subject  matter,  the  manner  of 
treating  it,  to  say  nothing  of  the  brilliant  drawing  of  character,  indicating  a 
mental  atmosphere  free  from  the  shackles  of  precedents.  The  problem  of  labor 
is  studied  from  the  point  of  view  of  one  who  has  risen  from  the  ranks,  and  the 
conclusions  reached  are  creditable  alike  to  humanity  in  general  and  author  in 
particular.  A  self-made  millionaire  in  the  toils  of  riches,  the  vulgar  hauteur  of  his 
foolish  children,  born  in  poverty  ana  ashamed  of  the  condition  from  which  they 
have  sprung;  the  relation  of  the  workman  to  master,  of  servant  to  mistress,  of  the 
unfortunate  to  the  prosperous  hi  the  characteristic  State  of  Maine/— all  these  more 
serious  themes  and  the  inevitable  social  questions  with  which  they  are  inextricably 
involved,  are  treated  with  a  force  truly  masterly.  There  is  a  lesson  in  every  line, 
but  it  is  not  forced  upon  the  reader's  attention,  rather  coated  with  the  sugar  of 
wit  and  satire,  and  consequently  it  is  unusually  effective.— Brooklyn  Standard- 
Union. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


FIB  4     1953 
"4PR  2  0  1953 


FormL9 — 15m-10,'48(B1039)444 


TKF  LIBRARY 

f  BOSNIA 


Bean  - 


-1082  —  Ool.   Judsui: 
33  5  c      of  Albania. 


JOI 


RARy  FACILITY 


A    001385495 


PS 

1082 

B35c 


BIOGRAPHY    B 


